Whoopie Pie Bakers: Volume Seven: Amish Forgiveness

by Sicily Yoder

  “You’ll need the caffeine in that cola today,” the cashier said humorously, and Jacob smiled warmly as he reached into his back pocket to get his wallet.

  Jacob took out a crisp dollar bill, handed it to the cashier, and gave a farewell nod. “I’ll look the sheriff up after I find Gina. Thanks for the information.”

  The cashier’s face smile fell flat, and the color lightened in her chubby face. “Jacob, I heard she didn’t make it out of the burning haus.”

  Nonsense! Gina would know to leave a house fire. Jacob studied the cashier, hoping she’d offered gossip instead of the truth. “Where did you hear that? He narrowed his brow. “She was fine when I dropped her off, and I saw no flames?” Gossip was known in the community, but it was getting out of hand. Did the cashier believe everything she heard?

  Jacob was right. “It’s only hearsay, but I believed it,” the cashier said reluctantly, color slowly returning to her face. “Guess I shouldn’t have mentioned anything when I didn’t know for sure.”

  “Probably a good idea,” Jacob replied in a stern tone. “If that rumor got back to her Grossmammi, it could have a negative impact on her health. The frail woman is healing from a stroke.”

  The cashier’s mouth went agape, her eyes widened. Finally, she replied in an unbelieving tone, “Gina told you that her grossmammi had a stroke?”

  “You didn’t know she had a stroke? Gina said she has a cane now, and she is having a hard time adjusting to using it,” Jacob said compassionately. He reached down, grabbed the cola opener, then popped the lid of the bottle of ice-cold soda. “I’ve never met her since she is a member of another local community, but I am praying for her.”

  “I’m not one to intervene in relationships, but I think you should know Gina’s only living grossmammi was in here picking out material earlier, and she drove herself here. She has no problem driving her own buggy or getting her own supplies.” A smile of regret entered her face. “I guess Gina hasn’t been honest with you, and I hate that I’m the one to break the news.”

  Should he believe her? She’d just admitted to spreading gossip. He didn’t want to, but his gut told him the cashier wasn’t fibbing this time. Gina has been untrue. He felt betrayed, used. “I don’t know why she didn’t tell me the truth.”

  “Maybe it’s because you’re now an outsider, and her parents wanted her to marry an Amishman,” the cashier said hesitantly as if she knew the words would pierce through his heart like a sharp dagger.

  He forced a cordial smile. “Goodbye.” Enough of this gossip. His temples throbbed, and his mind spun. What would he do if all of this hearsay were real? How would he proceed with his plans to marry Gina? Should he marry someone who is untrue to him, fabricating stories?

  Being a single man scared him. All of the male friends he was close to were married and had kinner of their own, and some were younger than he was.

  Of course, he knew leaving the Amish made him seem like a rebel, and women of faith were never attracted to such a worldly man. On the other hand, Englisch women seemed too materialistic and farther away from God that Amish women.

  I’m stuck in the middle, neither good enough to marry an Englisch woman or an Amish woman. Out the door and into the buggy, his head spun. What a horrible rumor the cashier had carried to customers! And to say the sheriff was looking for him was another way to make him and his family look bad.

  Down the road, he saw black smoke for miles away. It must be true. “God, please protect Gina and her family. In Jesus Name, Amen.” Would God hear such a short prayer? In a time like this, when his nerves were shaking, he couldn’t possibly stay focused long enough to give the lengthy, much-needed talk with God, one that was years overdue.

  Daggers of guilt stung his chest. It was like him to need God when danger approached. He needed God in his life badly. He knew that, but for some reason, he was riding the fence, and the sad part was that he enjoyed that ride.

  All but the loneliness. He needed a wife, a place of his own to farm, but farms took two people to run. That’s the only reason he dated Gina because she could go both ways, Amish or English.

  Now that she had confessed her desires were a fabricated story, he realized he would be off the fence soon and be Amish. Could he make that leap?

  As he held the reins, he had to admit that he missed his pick-up truck. Why did he miss something that wasn’t good for him?

  “Lord, why do I chase after the things I know I shouldn’t have?” It seemed selfish. However, playing with two girls’ hearts had been greedy too. He shouldn’t have fallen to his own desires and held Esther. He realized he could be quite narcissistic at times.

  Christians were never vainglorious. In fact, the Amish kept close tabs on their members to make sure they lacked vanity, pride, and greed. Mamm had welcomed these unwanted traits in when she left the Amish.

  As the buggy got closer to the side road Gina lived on, smoke lingered in the air. Jacob coughed. The house must be a total loss. How awful such a tragedy is, thought Jacob as he flicked the reins. He made a mental note to help rebuild the house. It’s the least he could do for a woman who wasn’t close enough to him to confide in him about her health status.

  “Giddyap.” The horses seemed to slow as they turned onto the side road. The air was heavy with soot, and two more fire trucks from a neighboring town raced past him. Probably out of water.

  He would offer Gina’s family a place in his dawdi haus while the Amish community built their house back. Surely, his mamm wouldn’t care. It has sat empty for years.

  According to Gina, her parents welcomed him as a husband to their daughter since he was former Amish. Such a reaction from parents was rare, but Jacob never questioned Gina.

  Now, after talking with the cashier, he wondered if Gina had told the truth. He was sure she did, but he still wondered if the cashier’s gossip were true.

  Entering the lane that led to Gina’s farm, he saw that fire trucks, volunteer firefighter vehicles, and police cars filled the yard that surrounded a massive ball of fire, its blazing flames raging several feet toward heaven.

  Shock filled Jacob’s body, and he trembled. Did Gina make it out alive? Sweat, mixed with black soot, glazed his face. It was a total loss. The farm was gone. He couldn’t believe his eyes. All Gina’s parents had worked hard for was contained in an enormous, fiery furnace.

  The sheriff’s SUV barreled down the driveway behind him, and Jacob turned and fused his eyes with the Sheriff’s brown eyes. Was he still looking for him?

  “Whoa!” Jacob pulled the reins taunt, waited for the sheriff.

  The sheriff pulled next to the buggy, put his saddle brown hat over his baldhead, and exited the vehicle. “Hello there, Mr. Smith. How are you?”

  Jacob nodded towards the burning fire. “I was fine until I saw this, Sheriff. I never saw such a hot fire.”

  “My firefighters haven’t either. Gina did a good job didn’t she?”

  Jacob grimaced. Gina wouldn’t start a fire. Besides, she loved the farm since it had been passed down from her great-grandfather’s family. “Gina didn’t start the fire,” Jacob informed confidently.” He reached up and wiped the thick soot off his forehead with his sleeve. “I just dropped her off earlier.” He coughed. “That smoke will kill anybody’s lungs.”

  The sheriff looked unconvinced. “I know it’s hard to swallow, but Gina started the fire.” A look of sadness entered his eyes. “We found the note nailed to that big oak tree over there.” The sheriff nodded to the overgrown oak that nestled at the end of the yard, an empty wooden swing gracing its lowest, sturdy branch. “The note said she was sorry for dishonoring her family by dating you while she was secretly courting Raymond.”

  Jacob gave a nervous laugh. “Raymond’s dead.”

  The sheriff nodded. “I know that, but that doesn’t change the fact that he left Emma’s diary with the bishop, and a child never lies. It had their plans laid out, their deceit.”

  Jacob didn’t believe it
. “Since when did Bishop Smucker talk with Raymond? I heard he died with a Baptist preacher by his side, and it all happened suddenly as they were making their way to see his folks.”

  “He had Emma’s diary, and his driver gave it to the bishop. We know the whole story now. Gina used you to get back at Esther since Esther didn’t like her.”

  That was true. “Gina and Esther have always been competitors, from laundry to softball, they competed, but we all thought it was just girl fun,” Jacob explained. “I see it differently now.”

  “It was a master plan, one I wouldn’t expect an Amish girl to carry out,” the Sheriff said bluntly.

  “It’s hard to believe, especially for those of us who are close to Gina,” Jacob said in a wavering tone.

  “Do you think she loved Raymond?” Jacob felt rude for asking, but, deep down, he needed to know that Gina didn’t love Raymond as she loved him. He looked around for Gina, but didn’t see her. Since the smoke was so strong, maybe the ambulance had taken her to the hospital. He wanted to question her as soon as he saw her. His stomach hurt knowing that Raymond was the other man in her life. “Do you think she pretended to love him to get back at Esther,” he said in a pleading tone.

  “No, I heard she adored him, but was scared of Esther rejecting her as a sister,” the Sheriff said before he turned his gaze towards the orange flames. “It’s sad she had to end it this way. No one deserves a fiery death.”

  Had he misunderstood the term, “fiery death?” He hoped not as he cut his eyes towards the sheriff. “What do you mean fiery death?”

  The sheriff nodded towards the fire. “Gina set herself on fire when she lit the gasoline.”

  No way! The hair stood up on Jacob’s back. Gina killed herself. It didn’t make sense. She seemed fine earlier. What went wrong? He had to find out. “I do not understand how she could have snapped like that hours after I dropped her off here.”

  “Really?” The sheriff seemed to believe him. “She didn’t seem odd, maybe depressed?”

  “No, not at all, but I do know that someone told her she could use gasoline to dry clean her two dresses that were soiled badly.”

  The sheriff drew a wild-eyed glare. “You’re kidding me.”

  Jacob sighed. “I told her it would be a good way to blow a house up,” He shook his head. “I never dreamed she’d do it.”

  “That explained why her body was so charred, but why would she leave a note apologizing for dishonoring her family?”

  Jacob wished he knew that answer, but he didn’t. He reached up and slid his shirtsleeve over his soiled forehead. “That soot could kill a man. I guess it was a private note for her Mamm.”

  “Could be. It makes sense,” the Sheriff said agreeing. “I don’t think we’ll ever know what was going through Gina’s mind early today,” the Sheriff said in a disappointing tone. He fused his eyes with the stack of charcoal smoke the swirled from the inferno and added, “I never expected anything like this among your people.”

  Jacob felt his face heat up. There shouldn’t have been secrets or any wrongdoing in an Amish community, but there was, and he was partly responsible for the drama by showing affection for two women and living on the outside. He knew better. Now, he’d disgraced the whole community.

  That’s probably how Gina felt. The bull’s eye of the problem. He had to admit guilt, although it was embarrassing. “Sheriff, I’ll be honest to you, and you don’t have to see it my way, but I didn’t do what I should have done as an Amishman.” His eyes glanced at the sheriff and saw his eyes had leveled up, his ears opening to hear his confession, one that should have been made to Bishop Smucker instead of the sheriff.

  “I should have questioned Mother when she instructed us to wear Englisch clothes and leave the community. There were several families I could have lived with, but I decided to stay with Mother.”

  The sheriff nodded towards the buggy. ‘Looks like you’re making things right now.”

  Jacob sighed, then ran his fingers through his thick hair, feeling the sticky ashes from the fire. “I hope so. I’m giving my truck up, selling my Englisch possessions.” He nodded towards the fiery tower of smoke. “I did it all for Gina.”

  That was a lie, and he knew it. Until this morning, Gina wanted to go to New York. He did it for Esther, to be closer to God, but that wouldn’t set will with the sheriff since he didn’t know about his two-timing. His family had a bad enough reputation. It would damage the wound further by admitting such careless actions.

  “Looks like that happy union isn’t going to happen,” he said regretfully as he pointed to the coroner’s van. “They already took her body to the van. She was on the back porch area.”

  A mournful look washed over Jacob’s face as he replied in a sad tone, “Probably cleaning her dress. I told her if anyone was crazy enough to clean a dress with gasoline, they better be outside and not in a house.” Jacob rubbed his temples to try to lessen the pounding ache in his head. His head spun. Why did he tell Gina that? He should have sternly emphasized that she should never use gasoline. “I wish I could eat my words, Sheriff.”

  “I think we’ve all been there, but don’t feel guilty for an adult doing something hazardous. She knew the risks, as did her mother. We’ve put out safety warnings about misusing gasoline for decades. They were careless,” the Sheriff assured, and Jacob nodded.

  “You think her mamm done this too?” Jacob probed in a curious tone. The wind rocked his black hat, and he braced it with his right arm, aimed his eyes towards the blowing smoke. “That wind can’t be good for that fire.” He squinted to see the flames had died down. Thank you, Jesus!

  “Her parents weren’t home. Neighbors said they were at a wedding for a cousin, and Gina refused to go,” the Sheriff informed as he shook his head. “Poor folks to come home to see all are they have is gone.”

  Jacob’s mind traveled back to the gasoline. “Do you think Gina’s parents might have warned her against using the gas too? She huffed when I warned her as if someone else had been against it.”

  The sheriff’s brow arched. “Could very well be, and that eases my mind to know this was an isolated case of misjudgment.”

  Jacob agreed. It made sense, although it didn’t bring Gina back. The finding was bittersweet. “I can’t believe this happened. I just don’t believe she’s gone.” Jacob’s skin was crawling, his heart thudding.

  Gina is dead.

  “Tragedy is always sad, but carelessness makes it hard to swallow,” the Sheriff said sadly. He reached up and adjusted his hat, then pointed to the charcoal-tainted clouds that moved sluggishly across the sky. “What a gloomy day for God to take a life.”

  He was right. The air was frigid and black, and a blanket of soot lined their throats. They both coughed. Jacob began to wonder if Gina remembered to “drop and roll” on the ground. “You think it exploded or just caught fire, maybe static electricity? He looked at the sheriff for an answer.

  “Well, it’s hard to tell now since her body was so badly burned, but they did say her body had to have been doused in gasoline because of the burns, but I guess a sudden explosion could cause it.” He paused as if he was deep in thought. His brow arched. “Now, I do recall a neighbor of my aunts dying the same way when she was dry cleaning a dress near the stove. It makes sense.”

  “I think so, too.” Jacob grimaced. “I hope she didn’t suffer.”

  “Fire is never a good way to go,” the Sheriff said hesitantly. “I hope she went quickly too. We’ll know more when the coroner’s report comes back.”

  “How long does that take?” Jacob asked, hoping it only took a day.

  “About a week, and we’ll know more,” the Sheriff explained before nodding towards the engulfed house, “I need to get back up here with my crew. I’ll be praying for you.” He nodded. “And thanks for the information about the gasoline. I would have never guessed that, for sure.”

  Jacob directed his horse away from the scene and headed home, missing Gina as he drove
the buggy. Alone. My fate, for sure, is to be alone. Would he be right?

  Anguish hit Jacob like a ton of bricks, whacking him on the head. How could he tell Gina it was safe to use gasoline outside? Sometimes, when they had little spats, he’d blurt out an answer just to please her. Unfortunately, the day she asked about the gasoline was one of those days.

  As he flicked the reins, sadness entered his heart, and he wished they’d never had that spat. He was partly guilty for causing her death. His head spun in circles. Would he ever be able to forgive himself?

  ~CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN~

  Esther turned in the bed, hugged her feather pillow up, and sighed. Naps always felt so good, even on cold, winter days. She hunched her body deeper into the soft bed, further under the quilted cover and freshly laundered sheet. Just as her eyelids fell shut, her mind mellowed into a soothing dreamland.

  Suddenly, her tranquility abruptly ended as loud footsteps and a child’s ranting rung from the hallway. It must be Emma. When would the child learn there was no choice of choosing her living arrangements?

  A bedroom door slammed, and Mamm’s pleading voice traveled down the hall. “Emma, please don’t be upset. We meant to tell you, but we were waiting for the right time.”

  They told her about him, thought Esther as she turned in the warm bed. Raymond is dead. Everyone knew it but Emma. Somberness hung like thick, muggy air on a hot day in August, but Esther didn’t know what to do to resolve the conflict. Maybe Mamm and Daed should have told her. Esther could understand Emma’s hurt.

  Mamm said no more, and a softer shutting of a door, then a bloody scream from Mamm rocked the house.

  “Mamm, are you okay?” Esther jumped out of the bed, headed for the bedroom door. The handle couldn’t turn fast enough, and her heart raced. Were Emma and Mamm in a fight longer than words?

  Into the bedroom, Esther saw an open bedroom window, but Mamm and Emma were gone. Had they jumped out the window! Why, it was two stories to the ground!

  A quick glance out the window, and Esther saw Mamm and Emma’s bodies on the ground. They did not move or speak. They are hurt!