Saving Us

by Jennifer Foor

  “I should have been packin’ my own gun that day. None of this shit would have ever happened to me. I could have taken that fucker out before he even knew I was there.”

  Amy’s head leaned into my shoulder. She lifted our locked hands into the air above us. “Conner, it doesn’t even matter. The police set me up with a great counselor and after we knew you were out of danger, I focused on moving forward. I can work anywhere, but it would be nice to have a brand new house to raise our child in.”

  “Our children.”

  “Children? Really?” I liked how she sat up and wondered how serious I was.

  “Yeah. You’ve had time to stay home and enjoy bein’ pregnant. Just imagine bein’ able to stay home and raise our children. I’d never admit to bein’ jealous of Ty, but I do envy that he gets to see my sister and their kids whenever he wants. I don’t want to have daycare.”

  Amy took her finger and traced where the bullet had gone in. She was extremely gentle considering how tender it was. “Do I get to pick out the colors?”

  “Are you going to put pink in my house?”

  She cocked her eyebrow. “Not in every room.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “Do I get a blow job once a week?”

  This time she laughed and her head fell into my chest. I cringed when the pain shot through my skin. “Sorry, but what does getting a blow job have to do with paint colors?”

  “If I’m goin’ to have to look at somethin’ so hideous for long periods of time, I think I should get somethin’ out of it. Be fair, Blaze.”

  She leaned up and kissed me on the lips. “Fine!”

  “Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

  Chapter 33

  Amy

  For two people that were supposed to be taking things easy, Conner and I jumped right into the construction of our new house in North Carolina. I think Miranda was more excited than we were when we told her what we’d decided.

  Conner hated leaving Colt shorthanded, but Colt swore that he did fine before and he would do fine now.

  We moved back into Ty and Miranda’s house so that we would be close to the new house. To speed things up, Conner hired contractors to lay the footers and do the framing. We picked the best time to build a house. All of the local contractors were hungry for work and they got right on every job Conner needed. In just two weeks the house was framed. The plumbers and electricians came the next week and once they were finished we just had to wait for inspections to be able to proceed. In the meantime, Conner and I bickered about selections. He wanted the whole house to be in some kind of woodsy décor. I was alright with it being in the office and the family room. I knew all about the animal heads that he was planning on filling our walls with, but the last thing I wanted was to stare at a dead animal while I was sitting on a toilet.

  Finally, I got him to agree to settle for some nice neutral colors. We decided to wait on picking anything for the baby’s room, until he or she was born and we could make a better decision based on that.

  As far as the baby’s room in Kentucky, well that was easy. Conner’s mother decided that she was just going to leave the house for all of us kids to use when we came to visit. The baby’s room could stay the same and be used by not only our children, but Miranda’s as well.

  Conner and I have never been happier. Sure we argued all the time about things regarding the house, but without someone lurking and scheming to hurt us, our lives had changed so drastically. The salon sold, and even though he argued with me, I split the money with my father. The old man then got a hair up his ass and I got paperwork in the mail for a bank account set up for my child. Knowing he would just fight me about it, I finally gave in and just let him get excited about being a grandfather again. My brother and sister barely spoke to the man, so our rekindled relationship meant the world to both of us.

  Karen and John came and stayed for two weeks once the boys started working on the drywall and inside construction. They spent a lot of late nights working until they finished whatever task they were working on that particular day. Conner was always tired, but almost seemed giddy. I was getting excited myself. Miranda and I spent our weekends driving out to the big city shopping for all new furniture and things to fill the house with. I knew it drove Conner crazy, but his main concern was that I was going to go into labor while being so far away.

  When we got into the last month of my pregnancy, I’d only gained twenty seven pounds, but it felt like two hundred. I was tired and my feet started to swell if I stood for a long time. The twins were starting to crawl all around and Bella could never stay occupied for more than ten minutes. Sharing a house with a family was difficult enough, but add being nine months pregnant and it became unbearable.

  I spent most of my time out in the recliner in the party room of the barn, or at the new house laying around on the dirty floor. Conner hated it and would always find something comfortable for me to sit or lay around on.

  I went into labor on a Monday night. Conner was hanging lights in the kitchen and getting ready for the granite guys to show up the next morning. I was sweeping up some dust that had accumulated on the new flooring when a gush of warm liquid fell down onto the floor. I froze and just stood there looking down at the floor.

  “Conner, I think you need to come here for a minute.” I was afraid to move.

  “You’re goin’ to have to wait. I got one more light to hang before I can get down.”

  I seriously was starting to feel myself freaking out. “I don’t give a shit about those damn lights. I need you, right now!”

  I heard him hop down and start walking toward me. “Damn woman, what could be so …Oh hell, is that what I think it is?”

  I nodded, but said nothing. “Well, what happens now?”

  “We go to the hospital and have a baby. What do you think happens? Did you not learn about how a baby comes out?”

  He grabbed me by the arm and walked me away from the puddle. “Do we have time to clean up the mess or do we leave it? Does that shit stain?”

  “I have no idea if it stains. Are you joking right now? Do I need to call your sister to help me?” I was wondering if Conner was joking or being serious. At that very moment, I couldn’t tell.

  “We got your bag in the truck already. The doctor’s number is on my phone and I will call my sister and let her know we are on the way to the hospital. Take a few deep breaths, Blaze. I got this!”

  Conner helped me get into the truck and in no time at all, we were pulling up at the hospital. On the drive over my contractions were coming at about five minutes apart. The pain was intense but it didn’t last very long when it came. Conner held my hand the whole way and tried his hardest to get me to focus on breathing.

  Conner called the family and let them know that I was going into labor. I was both excited and scared. Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant, I'd wanted to know what I was having. I knew when I left this hospital I was going to have my answer. My heart pounded out of my chest as we went up to the maternity ward and were put right into a delivery room. Conner got comfortable in the chair beside me. He was playing with the television in between my contractions.

  By the time the doctor arrived, I was having contractions every two minutes. I was already hooked to an IV and was in severe pain. "When can I have pain medication? I need an epidural!"

  My doctor laughed at me. "First let's see how dilated you are. You don't want to get an epidural too early. You need to save it for when the real pain comes."

  My eyes about popped out of my head. "The real pain? What is this, fake pain?"

  I looked from the doctor to Conner. He was trying really hard to be supportive, except I was being more difficult than ever.

  "Oh, well looky here. It appears that you are ready to pop this one right out."

  I tried to back myself up on the bed, but with my feet in the stirrups and the doctor still holding my legs, it was impossible. I shook my head. "I'm not ready yet. You need to check agai
n."

  Conner took his hat off and started laughing at me. He got down where the doctor was and looked down between my legs. When I saw him look up at me, he looked like it was the worst thing he had ever seen.

  "Oh my God, how bad is it?"

  He scratched his head and put his hat back on. "It's...I didn't expect that."

  "What? Is it ugly?" I completely forgot about the doctor between my legs. A contraction had started and in between the pain, I tried to finish the conversation. "Is it the ugliest thing you've ever seen? I changed my mind. I think I want a C-section."

  The doctor started to laugh at me. "The swelling is all part of the process. It won't stay this way. You can't ask for a C-section. They are done for emergencies. Your baby is already starting to crown. As soon as the rest of the staff gets in here, we can get him or her delivered." I hated my doctor. Seriously, he was the devil. How could he not care about my swollen vagina? I needed it to always be pretty. Conner was younger. What if he left me for someone who never had a swollen vagina? What if he could never look at it again?

  The pain made me forget what I was complaining about. Two nurses came in the room and one had a cart that had a plastic box for a baby.

  Conner walked over beside me. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. He put his mouth close to my ear. "You are the sexiest woman that I have ever seen, Blaze. I need you to be brave. Don't you want to meet our baby?"

  I nodded and tried to breath. "Yes."

  The doctor got me into position. My legs were placed in the stirrups and the doctor got comfortable in between my legs. Conner held onto one of my knees and he watched what was going on the whole time. I'd heard the stories where women pushed for hours before their baby's came out. My story was nothing like that. I pushed three times and felt the worst pain in my life as my skin ripped to allow our eight pound daughter to come out of me. I didn't have to have contractions for hours, or be uncomfortable while I waited to dilate. I didn't even have a chance to get an epidural.

  No, our daughter wanted to come out and she wasn't willing to wait any longer.

  Conner's eyes lit up as the doctor got her body out and handed her to the nurses to get cleaned up. She screamed with a healthy set of lungs and was then wrapped up and laid right in my arms.

  I think even after Conner heard the doctor announce that it was a girl, he still needed to hear it again. He looked right at me with tears in his eyes. "We have a daughter?"

  I knew I was crying and even though I was still in pain, all I cared about was my beautiful little girl. She had a full head of hair and just stared up at me. Conner kept kissing me while looking down at her. "Camille Madison Healy, I'd like you to meet your daddy." I handed Conner his daughter and watched the toughest man I knew break down with tears of happiness. Her little fingers wrapped around one of his and he kept kissing her over and over.

  We knew our family was coming and they would soon be fighting over her and passing her around like a little sack of potatoes. This was our little private moment. Conner put her back on my chest and kissed me again. "She's so perfect."

  "Yeah, she sure is."

  Chapter 34

  Conner

  I never would have thought that my life would change so drastically after Cammie was born. That little girl became my world. We moved into our house on the day of her turning three weeks old. I will never forget what it was like to carry her up to her pink camouflage decorated nursery. I may have had to coax Amy, but it was worth it to me. Sure, I had agreed to a whole week of poop diapers and a few sexual favors, but with Amy breastfeeding and being up all night, she wasn’t exactly in the mood to order me around. In fact, by the time I got home from working, she was ready for bed.

  Our schedule could have used some work at first, but after the first two months, we were getting the hang of things. Cammie was starting to sleep at least six hours at night and I was getting to spend time with my other woman.

  Since things had just been so crazy, we decided on having a very small wedding in our backyard. I built a gazebo and painted it white for the event. The family flew in, including Colt and Van’s newest addition, Addison Hope. She was the spitting image of her siblings and the family couldn’t get enough of her. She’d been born three weeks before Cammie and we all knew that they would grow up being close, just like all of us were.

  Van did her usual picture taking, every chance she got. I swear, Amy and I never needed to have professional pictures done or anything; not when we had Van around. She’d even agreed to take the pictures for the wedding.

  Amy wasn’t like other girls, who dwelled on having this humongous wedding. She wanted things to be as simple as they could be. Even though she wouldn’t let me see her dress, I knew it wasn’t anything fancy. We agreed on it. In fact, it was hard enough for me to not wear a baseball cap. The only reason I’d done it for Colt and Randa’s services was because my mother paid me fifty bucks. At the time, that bought a lot of booze.

  Most guys get nervous on the big day, but not Conner Healy. Yeah, I referred to myself. I wasn’t nervous because I knew without a doubt that this was exactly what I wanted to do. Every single time I looked into my daughters eyes I knew that her mother was my forever.

  On that big day our families started rolling in, taking their part in our service. Colt surprised us and took some class to become an ordained minister, so he decided that I was to be his first marriage. It was pretty cool, so Amy and I didn’t even think about saying no.

  She’d been pretty secretive about something and I knew it had to do with the big day, so I couldn’t wait to see what she had in store.

  She was going to be pissed, but I wore my best jeans and my cowboy boots, along with a white button up shirt. Ty told me that it would look fine with what she was wearing, so I knew she was going to look hot.

  It was about that time, where she would come walking out of the house and take my breath away, except when the music started, she didn’t come out of the house. Instead, she came walking around the side of the house, pulling a decorated radio flyer wagon. Inside was the prettiest little thing just looking up at the sky. Her mother took my breath away. Amy had curls mixed with little white flowers stuck throughout her hair. She was wearing a little white sundress with my favorite cowboy boots. She had a bouquet of white daisies and a smile that was bigger than I had ever seen. In that moment, it didn’t matter who was sitting in all those chairs. The only thing I saw was my girls. When she reached me, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her right away.

  I could hear the crowd of family laughing at my rudeness. Colt tapped on my shoulder. “I know this is my first ceremony, but I’m pretty sure that comes last, cuz.”

  I pulled away and looked right into Amy’s eyes. “You’re so beautiful.”

  She smiled and looked into the crowd. “Sorry!”

  Colt grabbed the fabric of both of our clothes and forced us to turn around and look his way. “Did ya’ll want to be married today, or stand around and make out.”

  I looked down at Amy and she smiled. We looked back at Colt, and at the same time we said, “both!”

  The crowd laughed. “Let’s get this show on the road. I have a hot date tonight.” I winked at Amy and the crowd started to laugh.

  Colt started commencing the service. He read from his book and did a pretty damn good job. When it got to the part where we were to say our own vows, he sat down and gave us our moment.

  Amy looked right into my eyes. Her’s were watery, but she was doing a good job holding it together. She started to talk, but Cammie began to cry. My mother ran up and grabbed her, so that we could continue. I held her hands and rubbed them with my thumbs.

  “Conner. You came into my life like a big fat jerk. I will never forget the first thing you said to me on that day we met. You told me that if I ever wanted a ride from a real cowboy, that I should come to you.”

  We could hear people making sounds like they were shocked. I looked out at our family. “Hey, I was just be
in’ honest.”

  Amy shook her head and started talking again. “There was a time in my life where I was in trouble and as much as I tried to avoid it, you were always there, keeping me safe. I don’t know when the exact moment was that I fell in love with you, but once I did, I knew that you were all I’d ever want again.”

  I leaned down and kissed her again. When I started hearing comments, I looked out at my family. “This is my wedding and my damn yard. If I want to kiss my woman, I’m goin’ to.”

  Some people started laughing.

  I cleared my throat. “I thought about us saying our vows, and to be honest, I didn’t want to. The idea is just crazy. We all know why we’re here.” I shook my head and smiled. Amy looked like she was going to kick me and those boots would hurt. “Here is my best rendition. “I knew when I first saw you that I wanted more. I waited a long damn time for you to give yourself to me, though. You had all these excuses on how it was never goin’ to happen. I fought so darn hard for you. Hell, I even took a bullet for you. Now, you’re all mine and that’s just the way it’s goin’ to be. I love you, Blaze. I’ll always love you.” I slipped my mother’s ring onto her finger and she looked up at me, shocked.

  She threw her arms around my neck and planted the biggest kiss on me, including tongue. At first our family and friends were quiet, but once they realized that we weren’t stopping, they began to clap.

  I guess Colt gave up. “Okay, obviously they are married. Let’s get this reception started.”

  My family always knew how to celebrate. They drank and ate. We didn’t want any of those traditional things that most weddings had. We just wanted everyone to party with us.

  Once it got dark outside, we lit a big bonfire and played some country music.

  Our family was growing and our bonds were becoming stronger. I was real proud of that.

  A little later, I couldn’t find Amy. I knew she was probably putting Cammie to bed, so I went looking for her. When I reached the hallway, I saw her closing our daughter’s bedroom door. She held her finger up to her lips and I nodded.