Haven From Hell: Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

by Won, Mark

  The movement came right up to that old worm eaten piece of shit and smashed its hand right through at me! I leaped back with a manly cry and opened fire right through the door. Phil screamed. I did another button masher routine and emptied the clip at what I hoped was head level. The damn thing dropped, anyway. I really wished Mr. Ready had gotten us full auto firearms.

  Then I heard a few more moving around inside and loaded another clip, with hardly any fumbling at all. I noticed that the aroma had grown worse, and I could see into the house through the hole the first zombie had made. There were at least two more of them. I backed off the front porch as they reached the door. Together they took about five seconds to smash what was left of the door off its hinges and come lumbering out of the house toward me. I put those five seconds to excellent use by aiming high and not peeing my pants. Once they came through the doorway I took careful aim. It only took two pulls of the trigger to get the job done. Then I saw another couple of zombies coming into the entrance room and heard what sounded like a bunch more falling down the stairs somewhere inside.

  The situation seemed to be getting hairy. I backed off some more, and I shouted at Robert and the rest to shoot as soon as they came outside. Fortunately, the situation proved to be not as bad as I’d feared. Between the lot of us they didn’t stand a chance. As soon as they showed their faces we put bullets in them. Lots of bullets. Altogether, we killed seven zombies. It was a whole zombie family.

  The stink of the place was pretty horrible. At first I thought it was just the rotting bodies all over the porch, but I noticed otherwise once I got inside. The stink was everywhere and had grown even worse. If I’d known it would be even half that bad we would have driven on by. I could hear Phil complaining in the back somewhere.

  I led the way through the house and upstairs, looking for more trouble. We found the source of the stink was a baby’s corpse in a crib. I threw a couple of blankets over it and had Pete help me carry it downstairs and outside, crib and all. With darkness fully upon us, that’s where we left it.

  Jerry made himself busy by praying over all the bodies. While Pete, Sue, Robert and I had been searching, the others had been wrapping the bodies with sofa covers, blankets or whatever else was lying around. Most of his flock were crying. I got the impression that a lot of them had lost kids in the Change. The kids didn’t become zombies or get killed by zombies. They’d just suddenly died.

  I asked everyone to clear the bodies off the porch. Then we opened up some windows to air the place out. It was cold work and none of us had thought to bring anything heavy to wear. Still, we got it done and the stench of death retreated somewhat. At least enough for us to sleep.

  That whole idea of staying overnight in a house was seeming worse by the minute. We had, like, fifty people, altogether. Almost everyone would have to sleep on the floor with a foot in the face. We should’ve just stayed in the cars, that would have been smarter. At that point everyone was committed to the project, though, so we stuck with it.

  Before I’d let anyone bed down, we took a door off a bedroom and put it on the front to replace the broken one. Then I nailed it shut and did the same to the back. I made sure to use extra lumber from all the interior doors to help seal the place up tight. Something could still have gotten through the downstairs windows but we ran out of extra doors. I took first watch and everyone else got to sleep.

  -

  At first I thought it was Bob that woke me up at 4 o’clock in the morning. The mind plays tricks sometimes. His death had really hit me hard. Actually, it was Robert. He looked scared as he leaned close and whispered, “We got movement outside.” Fuck!

  I got up and peeked out a window and, sure enough, There was a small crowd of zombies out there just wandering around, tripping over the bodies. My guess was that all the gunfire had brought them in. They moved so slow that it must have taken hours for them to arrive. I counted fifteen of them.

  I whispered back to Robert, “Don’t wake anybody else up. We’ll deal with this in the morning.” I stayed up with Robert to keep an eye on what was happening right outside.

  When the first rays of dawn came streaming through the windows I quietly woke up everyone who had a gun and got everybody in position. That took more work than you’d think. The way we had so many people crammed into that one house we were practically laying across each other (Phil and Cindy had gotten the master bed all to themselves, they made sure of that). My plan was for a simultaneous strike on as many of them as possible.

  Just as I was set to start shooting, Cindy started screaming from upstairs. That dumb bitch is trying to get us all killed! flashed through my mind as I opened fire.

  Fortunately, enough of the others kept their cool so that it didn’t make a difference. Everybody kept shooting and the zombies began to fall. They all started stumbling toward us but none even made it to the windows.

  Cindy kept on screaming and I was almost beginning to get worried about her, then she started swearing at someone instead. With a heavy heart I began weaving my way around the crowd and made my weary way up the stairs.

  Sue called out to me, “Don’t do anything rash!”

  “Like what?” I really wanted to know.

  “Like beat her unconscious.”

  Since Sue’s warning was echoed by about five other people, including our pastor, I figured I’d take that as a sign and chill out. I didn’t want to be known as that guy who never gets invited to a party because he always starts a fight.

  On my way upstairs I started yelling at people to pack up and get in the cars. I didn’t want to stick around any longer than necessary. Who knew what all our more recent gunfire might have attracted? I thought it a bad idea to find out the hard way.

  Once upstairs I found Cindy and Phil in an arguing match with Natalia and Arthur. Boris was crying over by a dresser. I immediately addressed Phil, “Hey, Phil, what’s up, man? We were in the middle of a gunfight downstairs, and you guys almost ruined it.”

  Phil, looking fearfully at his wife, stuttered for a second before going on the offensive. “These people are being offensive. Entirely insulting. I won’t stand for it!” What the fuck are you going to do about it, you worm?

  “Vhat de fuck are you going to do about eet, you vorm?” That was from Natalia. Spooky. It was like she was some kind of Gypsy mind reader.

  “That’s enough of that!” I had to get these people moving.

  Cindy couldn’t let it go, “It’s that whore’s fault! She told me to shut up! That alien thinks she can come into my country and push me around...”

  It took some doing but eventually I got Natalia off Cindy with only minor damage. The men were working up a shouting match next so I got louder fast, “Shut the fuck up you morons! Get in the Goddamned cars right fucking now or you will be left behind!” That did the trick. It was like herding cats, but I got the five of them downstairs and into my truck, eventually. As I moved past the pastor he looked disapprovingly at me when he saw the new bruises on Cindy’s face.

  “That wasn’t me Pastor, I swear to God.” I made sure to point the finger at Natalia as I said it.

  After asking Sue to drive slow and putting Boris next to her, I got us moving in what I hoped was the right direction. Then I settled in the truck bed for a conversation with the Glovers and the Pages.

  I started, “So let me guess. Cindy woke up and saw the zombies outside and screamed. Then you, Natalia, tried to make her shut up by saying something unpleasant. And when that didn’t work you probably got insulting about it. Am I right?”

  She said I was. Then I told her, “You’ve got to think these things through. We aren’t safe. Adding yelling to a situation like that can’t help. We got lucky nobody got hurt. Don’t look at me like you think I picking on you. I’m not. For your own son’s sake you have got to be more careful in the future.”

  She said she was sorry so I ordered a stop and plugged Arthur, Natalia and Boris back in their own car. Then I went back to Phil and Cindy
. As we were rolling along I took the bull by the horns, metaphorically speaking (the Weavers had taught me all about metaphors), “You two need to learn how to be team players.”

  Cindy cut me off, “That whore shouldn’t even be here, she’s not even an American. Why are we even in the back of this truck. It’s freezing! You don’t get to talk to me that way. People like you don’t get to talk to me at all! How dare you, you dirty maintenance worker! Don’t you have a toilet to clean!” I kinda liked that last part. Then she started pounding on the cab’s back window, trying to get Sue’s attention.

  I grabbed her wrist and twisted until I got her attention. Phil started toward me until I showed him the business end of my pistol. “That is exactly how Mr. Magog talked to me just before I broke his ribs. Now pay attention or I’ll leave you by the side of the road.” They both calmed down somewhat. I found their fear satisfactory.

  “From now on you two will behave yourselves. Or else. The next time either of you starts a fight, while I’m in the middle of a firefight, you both better start running because I’ll shoot you dead when it’s over.

  “Mr. Magog murdered my friends after I handed out this little warning to him, and now I’ve got to worry about you, too. Do I have to worry about you two?” They assured me that I had no need to worry about them, no reason at all.

  I continued, “If you two ever want to leave you don’t have to ask. Just go. Take whatever supplies are in your car and leave. I hope you do leave. But if you stay with us remember my warning. I won’t repeat it.”

  I called another stop and had them get in their own car. I truly would have preferred those two to have just driven off. They were more than welcome to whatever they had in their car with them. I would have called the loss of supplies a win if it freed me of those two. They must have had a bit of an internal struggle. Arrogance versus cowardice. Too bad cowardice won. They stayed with us.

  Chapter 6: The Perils of Hitchhiking, Night Driving, and Wandering Aimlessly

  Sometime later, somewhere north of Minneapolis, Sue spotted a group of four hitchhikers walking along a country road. They were jumping up and down trying to get our attention. The road they were on was running parallel to ours. I told Sue to slow down and go over to them. No reason not to be charitable. We were all human, right?

  As we pulled along side of their little group I made sure my pistol was pointed at them through the truck’s door. It was a .45 from Major’s collection. A real nice pearl handled job. He would have wanted me to have it. I had also called around using the radio to make sure everyone was ready for any potential trouble. I asked the hitchhikers, “So, where you headed?” real cool, like.

  One of them, a tall (for some), fat, scruffy looking dude with a lot of indistinguishable, poorly crafted tattoos said, “Anywhere you are mister. Our car broke down about ten miles back.” He had a desperate look about him, and his friends were pretty tense. I guessed that I’d be feeling that way too if I were in their situation.

  “Hop in back. We can talk more tonight. Hey wait! Do you guys know any good places to stay in Wisconsin?” They did not.

  As they settled in behind us I called Donald, who was in a truck right behind us, and told him and whoever else was with him to keep an eye on these guys. I didn’t want any fatal surprises.

  By the time we stopped for the night we were well and truly away from civilization. Growing up in a city I had no idea so much of the world was the middle of nowhere. The closest I’d ever been to this kind of wasteland was the drive from Chicago to the silo. That trip had been an eyeopener. My impression, at that time, was that Columbus had it wrong and the world really was flat. Flat and wide open with the occasional village, just to mix things up. Northern Minnesota and Wisconsin, on the other hand, were one giant primordial forest of looming trees and implied danger. Cold too. The bright side was that nobody lived there so there couldn’t be any zombies. In that vast wilderness I was more worried about the wildlife. I called around and made sure that everyone kept their windows rolled up just case any lions found us during the night.

  The place we camped was just someplace along the side of the road. We didn’t really camp. Everybody just stayed in their cars. I’d made sure to sleep all through the day so I was ready for first watch again. Everything seemed in order. Jerry wanted to lead some kind of group prayer thing before bed, so everybody who wanted to join in clumped together along the road and took turns praying. It was weird.

  Just as the praying was dying down I heard Cindy shouting curses at someone again. Phil was getting into it too. My blood ran cold. I really, really, really did not want to shoot that slimy whore. She was seriously leaving me no choice. If I shot her I’d have to murder Phil, too. Then I’d have Larry on my case and pretty much everybody would hate me. Then I had an idea. Why not just let Natalia or whoever beat the piss out of her? Yeah, yeah that could work. Then I heard the gunshot.

  By the time I got to the rear of our motorcade I could see Phil’s car speeding away in the distance and Phil was curled up in a ball in the middle of the road. No Cindy to be seen. I called the doc over and got in the next car in line, shouting, “Don’t follow me!” Then I drove after the fleeing automobile.

  It was dark out, but I kept my lights off anyway so they wouldn’t see me following them. I guessed it was our hitchhikers at work. They and the Glovers were a few who hadn’t been either praying or watching the praying stuff. The only way I could think to stop them was to ram them. Otherwise, they could just keep driving forever.

  I didn’t see any advantage to waiting. I knew that their finely engineered vehicle could blow the doors off the family four door I was driving if it came down to a contest of speed. Without my lights on, the longer I waited the more likely I was to crash. The longer I followed them, the more likely I was to be noticed. The more time I spent thinking about it, the farther I got from friends and help, so I decided to act at the first opportunity.

  That opportunity was a long time coming. The only reason I was able to keep them in sight at all was because whoever was driving was shit with a stick. Even then they kept up a fast pace, well over the posted limit. I almost crashed a couple of times when turns came out of nowhere. Eventually, those assholes brought down their speed, figuring they were safely away. That’s when I struck.

  I crashed into their rear and that was it for both of us. I hoped Cindy had her seat belt on. Over and over I went, ending upside down. They skewed off the road and into a bunch of trees. My seat belt held, and surprise, the lame four door family car had a sweet air bag.

  It took a minute for me to get my head straight. I fumbled with the seat belt until I found the button. I’d lost my M-16 somewhere but I still had my sidearm. Clumsily, I tried to push my door open but I had one hell of a time, so I gave it up as a bad job and smashed out the rest of the window, instead. I sort of crawled out that way and fell on my face on the pavement.

  Leaning heavily against the car I managed to stand up and get my bearings. The other car was about thirty yards away. There was some movement inside. Then I heard Cindy screaming, so I knew my hearing still worked. That woman really needed to learn a new defense mechanism.

  I shambled toward Phil’s car as quietly as I could. Once I got close enough I saw all five of them still alive. The asshole on Cindy’s left gave her a massive slap that shut her right up. I shot him in the eye. Then I fired into the rest of them less discriminately.

  I was quickly regaining the remainder of my senses, and with said senses came a lot of pain. That crash must have bruised my everything. Even so, I kept an eye on my ammunition level. I knew that I had to make sure that I’d have enough bullets left over for head shots. And I had to make sure not to shoot Cindy.

  They began to Change as soon as they died. I was expecting it, and at that range I couldn’t miss. After I managed three more head shots I popped in a new clip, saving the old one.

  I inspected the car for damage and there was plenty. I’d totaled it. So I opened a b
ack door and Cindy started screaming again.

  I prayed, “For the love of Christ, will you shut the fuck up!” I was still new to the whole praying thing but it seemed to be working well so far. At least she shut up.

  I looked her over, and she seemed no worse of than I. I threw a corpse out onto the dirt and climbed in next to Cindy. I said, “Let’s rest here for a minute, maybe somebody will come along.” Then I fell asleep.

  I woke up at first light. The first thing I noticed was Cindy snoring. I didn’t really feel any better but I got to work. First thing was to go get my rifle. I found it in the back of the car I’d been driving. After that I had a nice breakfast of meal-ready-to-eat and about half a gallon of water. Once I got some more supplies, I made a sack for them out of a blanket I found in the back of the car. Then I went over to Cindy.

  “Rise and shine, Buttercup.” Cindy kept on snoring.

  “Hey, wake up! I got yer breakfast in bed right here, Princess.” That brought her around. She looked a mess. It suited her.

  Once she had something in her stomach I cajoled her into getting out of the car. The dead bodies may have helped with that, I don’t know. Some of them had fouled themselves. Anyway, After I grabbed some more food and water, we were on our way. My idea was to walk back to where we left camp. It would be one long walk. I hadn’t exactly been checking the odometer during the chase, but we’d been at it a while. I wasn’t sure I knew the way.

  After about an hour of silence I started to get worried. “Hey Cindy, are you okay? Do you need a rest?” She didn’t answer.