Free to Love (Noella’s Life Unleashed Book 2)

by Lillianna Blake

  But could Wes really love me?

  I was ten years older than him, with two kids and a life miles away.

  I closed my eyes as I realized none of that stopped my feelings for him. If anything they were stronger than ever.

  The line moved forward slowly, giving me plenty of time to consider calling or texting him. But it didn’t seem fair. What right did I have to open the wound again? I’d made it clear that things couldn’t work between us. How could I reach out to him now?

  “I’m so sorry, Wes.” I closed my eyes.

  Was I missing out on something amazing because of fear?

  When he’d asked me why I was afraid, I couldn’t put it into words, but the truth was, I was terrified. But now I felt more afraid of never knowing what could have been.

  I was just about to send him a quick text when I heard someone call my name.

  “Noella!” Wes ran toward me from the entrance of the airport.

  I was next in line to go through security, but the moment I saw him, I stepped aside. My heart pounded as I wondered if I was hallucinating or if he was really there.

  When he reached me, he caught my cheeks in his palms and I was sure he would kiss me. Instead, he gazed intently into my eyes.

  “I don’t care. I don’t care what you think of me or if you’re afraid of me, because I will prove to you who I really am—and I will show you that you can trust me.”

  “Wes, I—”

  “No.” He continued before I could speak again. “I will do whatever it takes, Noella. I will be everything you need me to be.”

  “Wes—”

  “Noella, just listen—”

  The crush of my lips against his silenced him. It silenced every doubt in my mind as well.

  His arms slid around my waist so tight that I suspected that he expected me to pull away. Instead, I deepened the kiss as I trailed my fingers through his thick hair. Nothing I had imagined could compare to the sensation of his lips as they moved with mine.

  Waves of pleasure, excitement, and comfort coursed through me. In that moment, there was nowhere else in the universe that I was meant to be.

  Above us, the PA system announced my flight. I didn’t care. I continued the kiss and curved my body even closer to his.

  It was Wes that pulled away from me.

  His flushed cheeks and wide eyes made him look even younger, but I didn’t care. Instead, I leaned in for another kiss. He responded with a slow, savoring kiss, but pulled away again.

  “You have to go.” He whispered, his voice strained and his arms still around my waist. “The boys will be waiting for you.”

  “You’re right.” Reality crashed down around me as I noticed a few people staring, and my stomach flipped with the knowledge that I might miss my flight. I looked toward the back of the long security line. Would I make it?

  I looked back at Wes and got lost in his eyes for just a second.

  “Wes, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it all out.” He gave my hand a subtle squeeze. “This isn’t goodbye.”

  I was relieved to hear him say that, though I knew there was so much more that needed to be said.

  My flight was announced again.

  Luckily, the security guard waved me to the front of the line. He had a sparkle in his eyes and I guessed that he’d watched our entire encounter.

  Yes, in that moment, I definitely believed in magic.

  Chapter 21

  It was a long flight home, or at least it felt long. It seemed as if every thought that crossed my mind brought me right back into Wes’s arms. I was stunned that I had been the one to initiate the kiss. I never thought I’d be brave enough. But seeing him again was like a second chance to truly go after what I desired, and I still felt dizzy from the impact of it.

  How could I feel so strongly for him?

  I did know him fairly well, but I’d never considered him an option for romance. Now that the memory of his kiss lingered on my lips, I couldn’t think of anything else.

  When the plane landed we had to wait on the tarmac for a few minutes. I sent a text to Hanna letting her know that I’d arrived, and then discovered that I had a text from Justin.

  Can’t wait to see you again. Can we have dinner tomorrow?

  I hadn’t even thought of Justin once on the plane ride home. My mind was on Wes and how I wished we weren’t so far apart. But a kiss didn’t fix everything. All my concerns about a relationship with him were still valid. Sure, he was eager and determined, and the way he’d spoken to me at the airport made me think that he might just be the most amazing man who’d ever walked the face of the earth.

  But I also knew that he had no clue what he was getting into. Nothing could prepare him for life with a single mother. His intentions might be good, but when reality kicked in, I didn’t know how long those good intentions would last.

  I hadn’t truly given Justin a chance, but the thought of seeing him again caused a dull ache in my chest. It was Wes I wanted to see again.

  I decided not to answer right away. I pushed thoughts of both men aside as I eagerly made my way through the main gate and searched the crowd for any sign of Hanna. I hoped that she would bring the boys with her, but I hadn’t had time to text her and ask if she would before my flight took off.

  It didn’t take long for me to find two bouncing heads in the crowd.

  “Brady! Tyler!” I spread my arms wide as they both bounded up to me. As amazing as my weekend had been, nothing compared to the sweet sensation of my children throwing their arms around me.

  I held them close.

  “Ugh, Mom, I can’t breathe.” Brady coughed.

  “Oh, stop.” I laughed and loosened my grip. “It’s so good to see you guys. Did you have fun with Aunt Hanna?”

  “Yup.” Tyler beamed. “I felt the baby move.”

  “You did?” I looked up at Hanna with wide eyes.

  “Oh yeah, this little one has been kicking up a storm.” She patted her belly.

  “Wow! Did you get bigger while I was gone?”

  “Ouch—nice, Noella.” She rolled her eyes and laughed.

  “Oh, stop. It just means you’re getting closer to the big day.” I leaned close to her belly. “Your Aunt Noella can’t wait to meet you!”

  Hanna grinned. “Me either!” She rubbed her stomach. “And I can’t wait for you to get your feet out of my ribs!”

  As we headed out of the airport I listened to the boys chatter about their fun weekend. I told them all about roasting s’mores and having a great time with Nicole and her family. But I didn’t mention Wes. How could I? I didn’t have any idea how to explain what had happened between us.

  Hanna drove us to our house and came in for a chat. Brady and Tyler ran off to their rooms.

  “Thanks for bringing them with.” I smiled at Hanna as we sat down with drinks at the table.

  “I wasn’t sure if you would be mad about them missing school, but they were both so excited about you coming home, I thought I’d be the cool aunt.”

  “It’s perfect, you did the right thing. I missed them so much.”

  “They missed you too, but we had a lot of fun. I think Jake had the most fun.” She laughed.

  “I’m glad to hear that. He’s going to make a great daddy.” I bit into my bottom lip as I recalled that my ex had never been that involved with the kids. He was a decent enough father, always providing for them and being there for the important days, but he didn’t really play with them.

  “We’re pretty excited.” Hanna smiled, then she looked into my eyes. “So?”

  “So?” I looked back at her.

  “Oh please, you look like you’ve gone through an entire transformation and it’s not because of that spa day you had, I know it.”

  “You can tell?” I laughed.

  “You kissed him, didn’t you?” She grinned.

  I spilled everything, from the first moment that I saw Wes until our last moment in the a
irport together.

  “Oh, Hanna, I think I’m in way over my head.”

  “I think you’re right.” She looked into my eyes.

  “You do?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Look, Wes seems like a great guy—and wow—the heat between the two of you sounds amazing. But he could have told you how he felt all along, right? He didn’t start showing interest until you were interested in someone else?” She pursed her lips. “That seems like a warning sign to me.”

  “That’s a good point.” I recalled Wes claiming he’d picked me out a bad date. If he knew how he felt then, why hadn’t he told me?

  “If it’s real between you and Wes, then I think it’s wonderful. But I think the best way to find out is to go out with Justin again and see how you feel when you’re with him.”

  “I don’t want to hurt Wes, though.” I frowned.

  “Then tell him the truth. If he really cares about you as much as he claims, then he should want you to be sure.”

  I considered her words as we chatted about other things. I had no idea how Wes would react if I saw Justin again, but a small part of me was curious about how things might go between us. Justin was local, he was a father—he checked all the right boxes. Didn’t I owe it to him and to myself to see where that led?

  Chapter 22

  Not long after Hanna left I received a text from Wes.

  Just want to make sure you made it home okay.

  I texted back that I had, but I couldn’t bring myself to write anything else. Instead, I turned my phone off and put a movie on for the boys and me to watch together.

  “Mom, why was Hanna talking about Wes?” The question popped out of Brady’s mouth as if he’d been holding it in for some time.

  “Wes? He’s just a friend of mine.”

  “From work. I know. So why were you talking about him?”

  “You know about Wes?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “You talk about him all the time.” Tyler rolled his eyes.

  “I do?” I laughed. I hadn’t realized that I mentioned him so often or even that the boys were aware of him. He had helped me with a few of Brady’s projects, but aside from that, he hadn’t had any direct interaction with my sons. “I had the chance to meet him while I was visiting my friend Nicole.”

  “Was he nice?” Brady smiled.

  “Very.” I looked back at the television. “Let’s watch the movie.”

  Brady looked as if he might like to ask me more questions but I turned the volume up on the television. Just thinking about Wes left me flustered. I didn’t want to discuss him with my kids.

  When the movie was over, the boys went to play with their friends outside. I focused my attention on unpacking and getting back into my usual routine.

  When I turned my phone on to send out a few texts I found several from Justin.

  I haven’t heard from you. Am I going to see you again? Did I do something wrong? Noella, just let me know.

  I felt guilty for making him wonder. With Hanna’s advice echoing in my mind, I texted him back.

  I’m sorry for the delay. I had a nice trip. Would you like to have dinner tomorrow night?

  I knew that the boys had plans to go to the movies with a friend. I’d have enough time for a quick dinner with Justin.

  However, as soon as I sent the text, my stomach churned with regret. I didn’t want to have dinner with him, I wanted to have dinner with Wes. I wanted to kiss Wes.

  I closed my eyes as I recalled the sensation of his arms around me. It wasn’t just the passion that left me intoxicated and craving Wes, it was the feeling of safety and trust that I’d experienced. It was as if I’d been waiting for him my entire life and the moment I was in his arms, I’d felt like I was finally in the right place.

  The buzz of my phone drew me out of the memory. Justin had agreed to dinner and expressed how much he looked forward to it.

  I willed myself to feel the same way. If I was going to give Justin a chance, I had to make sure it was fair. I couldn’t be thinking of Wes the entire time.

  That night, after the boys were in bed, I poured myself a glass of wine and did think about Wes. I thought about our kiss, I thought about the things I’d said to him and the things he’d said to me.

  What if he really was willing to do anything to be with me? Would he move? Would he go as slow as I needed him to, to give the boys a chance to get to know him? Would he understand that I was done having children and that the boys already had a father?

  I groaned at the confusion that brewed within me as I tried to predict the answers to these questions.

  Just as I closed my eyes to go to sleep, my phone rang. I grabbed it and was surprised to see that it was a video call from Wes. I was lying in bed, my hair a mess. I wasn’t sure that I wanted him to see me that way. But I did, very much, want to see him.

  With a trembling fingertip I connected the call.

  “I hope it’s not too late.” He smiled as his face filled the screen.

  “I’m in bed, as you can see.” I laughed, then remembered the boys were sleeping and lowered my voice. “I’m glad you called, though.”

  “Me too.”

  The way he was looking at me made me feel the heat come to my cheeks. I smiled as he continued.

  “I know today was rushed and we didn’t get to really talk about things. I just want you to know how glad I am that we had a chance to connect at the airport.”

  “Connect, that’s a nice way to put it.”

  “This might not be the right time to talk about it, but I was serious about what I said. Whatever it takes to make this work, I’m willing to do it.”

  “I appreciate that, Wes, but you shouldn’t have to sacrifice just to be with me.” I frowned. “I can’t deny the chemistry between us, but you have to admit that there’s a lot for us to overcome. Can we really start a relationship with the distance between us?”

  “I can travel to you.” He shrugged. “I could fly in on the weekends.”

  “And stay where?” I shook my head. “The flights and hotel costs would be too much. I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to have anyone staying overnight here.”

  “I understand; I wouldn’t expect you to. But we’ll find ways around all of this.”

  “Will we?” I met his eyes. “Wes, I get it. I was caught up in whatever this is between us—honestly, I’ve never felt anything so powerful. But that doesn’t make it right, does it?”

  “To me it does.” He searched my eyes in return. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. But I can understand your doubt. Like you said, you have a lot more to think about than I do. I’ve thrown my hat into the ring now. You know where I stand. But it has to be you that decides whether you want this to happen.”

  “I do.” The words flew out of my mouth, followed by a wince. “At least I think I do.”

  “I’m not rushing you, Noella. Get a good night’s sleep. Take some time to think things over.” He paused, swallowed hard, then continued. “We’re friends, we will always be friends. You know I want something more, but I’m not going to pressure you.”

  “Wes, you’re really amazing.”

  “Keep that in mind when you dream tonight.” He winked at me, then hung up the phone.

  I rested the phone against my chest and closed my eyes.

  Chapter 23

  The next morning was filled with a familiar kind of chaos. Gone were the memories of my spa day and being curled up on a tree branch with Wes. All I could think about was finding Tyler’s shoe and why Brady hadn’t done a bit of his homework over the weekend.

  “I forgot I had any.” Brady shrugged. “I’ll do it before class starts.”

  “Three pages of homework, Brady?” I slapped his homework folder down on the table. “You’ve got to start taking more responsibility. You’re old enough now to remember these things.”

  “Right, I know, Mom, I’m horrible.” He rolled his eyes. “Can we just go to school?”

  “No, you�
��re not horrible, that’s not what I said at all. And no, we can’t go to school because I’m pretty sure your brother ate his shoe!”

  “I did not!” Tyler screeched from the living room.

  “Did you look under the sofa?”

  “I did! Three times! It’s not under there!”

  I marched into the living room, lifted up the corner of the sofa, and pointed to his shoe.

  “I didn’t see it.” He blinked, then snatched his shoe.

  By the time we got into the car I was certain that I already needed another weekend away.

  I dropped them at school and was about to pull away when the principal walked toward my car. I grimaced, wondering if I could speed off before he reached me. But he waved to me and I had to wave back. I rolled down the window as he paused beside the car.

  “I assume your sister told you about the problems we had on Friday?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Problems? No.” I braced myself.

  “Brady thought it would be funny to put fake spiders in the drawers of several of his teachers. Large, hissing spiders.” He narrowed his eyes. “Did you buy those for him?”

  “No, I didn’t.” I sighed as I recalled Brady taking the phone to his room to talk to his father the week before. My best guess was that he’d convinced his father to buy him the spiders, which meant that this was premeditated. “I’m sorry for the trouble, but no one was hurt, right?”

  “Mr. Penzer fell over his chair and nearly sprained his ankle.” He tried to hide a grin as he looked away. “But no, no one was really hurt.”

  I did my best not to picture the science teacher freaking out over a spider, which I assumed was quite amusing to those who’d witnessed it.

  “I’ll make sure that Brady is disciplined for this.” I sighed.

  “I know these pranks seem harmless, but I’m concerned about him. It’s easy to make the shift from harmless to dangerous.” He leaned a little closer to me. “There’s a counselor here, if you’d like Brady to speak with her—”

  “I’ll talk to him. Thanks.” I shifted the car into drive.

  He took the hint, nodded, then headed back into the school.