The Dollhouse (Paperdolls #1)

by Nicole Thorn

  As I made it down safely, I looked at the choice before me. Answering the door. It was just answering the door. Normal people did that, sometimes a few times in a day. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

  I peeked through the peephole and saw a woman standing on my doorstep. She was young and beautiful and her hair was orange. If I had to guess, I would say she wasn’t even thirty. Maybe a little taller than my five feet seven inches. Her clothes were impeccable. A black suit with a single pop of color in her red heels.

  Vulture, my instincts told me. Danger. Trouble. Something I should ignore.

  I opened the door with a smile. “Hello.”

  The woman showed all of her perfect white teeth for the returning smile. A bony hand jutted out at me. “Nice to meet you, Riley. My name is Felicia, and I’m going to make you famous.”

  Everything in my head told me to get her out. Bad news. She was here to take advantage of me. She… didn’t feel bad for me. No. I was just a meal ticket to her. She would be kind and attentive because she wanted something from me. Maybe I wanted something from her. Treat me like I was just one more person to use.

  This could be a game. Play along and see how long it takes for her to figure out that I’m hollow. I might even have fun. My heart raced even now, and it was the closest I’d felt to living since I was up in that tree.

  “Sorry I’m not dressed for the occasion,” I looked to myself.

  The woman glanced me up and down, eyes landing on the scar on my exposed wrist while I held the door open. “You look beautiful. Love the hair.”

  I smiled wider, moving aside to let her in. She looked pleased like this was her idea and not mine. She thought she was charming me.

  Felicia passed me, and I shut the door, glancing back at her. “Did you call my parents and say you were coming? They didn’t mention anything. In fact, they’re gone.”

  But you knew that.

  I watched the lie cross her lips before she spoke. It was like a living thing.

  “Oh, I mentioned it. But that’s all right. I only need to talk to you.”

  I invited her to sit on the couch, and we faced each other. She crossed her legs and took out a notepad. She jotted something down that I didn’t bother to look at.

  “Can I ask how you got my name and address?” I asked very casually.

  The woman didn’t look up. “I have a few friends at the police station you were brought to. I hope you don’t mind.”

  I leaned back, crossing my legs too. “Not at all.”

  I felt like I was doing something wrong, and it was exhilarating. Blood was pumping, and I gave over control to the rest of my body. I wanted to see how this ended.

  Felicia looked up at me from the notebook. “How are you feeling, sweetie?”

  I’m not feeling anything. “I’m fine.”

  “How have you been spending your time since you got home?”

  “I’ve been catching up with my family. Getting to know my little brother.”

  And the boy next door who wanted nothing more than to be my friend. But I kicked him to the curb and haven’t seen him since. His flowers are resting in water beside my bed.

  Felicia smiled. “Oh, you have a new brother. How did it make you feel when you found out?”

  Replaced. “I was just in a little shock. That night was very overwhelming.”

  She nodded. “Yes, I’ve talked personally to a couple of your friends. They said it was very scary.”

  Her voice dropped to something that she probably thought sounded sympathetic. Her eyes focused on mine, and she patted my knee with a pen in her hand.

  “I’m very sorry you had to go through that.”

  I’m sure. “Thank you.”

  While writing, she said, “So I understand that you were there for over seven years. You must have a lot of stories to tell.”

  I took a moment to breathe. “I suppose I do.”

  That pleased her. “I’ve been in contact with my friends in publishing. I think I told you about that. I’ve found an agent to represent you should you decide to write about your experience.”

  I was careful when I spoke. “I guess I do. I’m just not sure anyone would want to read about the kinds of things I went through. They’re…”

  “I know.” She nodded. “But I think your stories would be something a lot of people would like to hear. I believe it would sell very well. Do you plan on going to college? That can get expensive, and this can help pay for it.”

  My words came out flat. “I have a sixth grade education.”

  She was uncomfortable, but she was a pro. “There are some excellent tutors in the area that I can get you in contact with. Might I say, you are very well spoken.”

  I smiled at her. “Yeah, our captor was nice enough to read to us sometimes. He was a fan of the classics.”

  She saw my bitterness as an opening. “How did he treat you all? Was he kind to you?”

  “Other than the kidnapping?”

  God, she was good. Her recoveries were graceful, making it seem like she meant every word she said.

  “Maybe in his own way, he thought that was a kindness,” Felicia said. “Taking you from the harsh world and bringing you into a place he believed was safe. Kindness is relative.”

  I nodded and held back the aggression I wanted to throw at her. I needed her if I was going to keep playing, but my parents would be home soon.

  “Maybe we should talk again later,” I said. “My mother isn’t too keen on the idea of me talking to anyone but a shrink, and she might not like finding you in here.”

  Felicia took what she could get. Standing, she pulled a card from her pocket and held it. “Have you decided if you would like to join my interview? TV… getting spoiled by the whole crew. You’ll have so much fun.”

  Danger flashed in my head again, and I couldn’t control my mouth. “Um, sure.”

  She lit up like she wasn’t expecting it. “Great! Here’s my number. Do you have one too?”

  I recited it, and she took it down. As she was walking to the door, I had an idea. “Do you have the numbers of my friends?”

  She turned, brow pinched. “You don’t?”

  I shook my head. “My parents won’t give them to me.”

  While she wrote, she scowled. “How awful for you.”

  After I tucked the paper away, she said, “On the day of the interview, I’ll have a limo sent over to pick you up. You’ll love it and never want to go back to a normal car.”

  It was amazing I could get her to stop talking long enough to actually leave. Good thing too, since my family got home twenty minutes later.

  Mom smiled when she saw me. “You look so happy, honey.”

  I kept up the plastic smile as I lied. “Kermit jumped a whole two feet in the air earlier. It was really cool.”

  Then she frowned. “Wash your hands.”

  “Okay,” I agreed, skipping up the stairs.

  This meant it worked. They couldn’t see through me because they didn’t want to see the truth. They wanted an easy, quick fix. That meant that they would accept what I was showing them because it made things simple.

  I could lie and pretend to be happy, and they would never see through the shattering glass I wore as skin.

  t was much easier than I thought it would be. No one noticed, and days had passed. I smiled, laughed, and they all thought it was real. I was better at being a doll than I thought I was. Maybe I was meant for this.

  “You all sound much more comfortable,” Dr. Carpenter said to us, smiling. “I’m glad to hear you’re adjusting to life.”

  My fake smiles and happy stories fooled her, but they weren’t fooling my sisters. Layla especially, who stared at me with an arched eyebrow and crossed arms. I’d have to answer for it later.

  “I think you girls are ready to move on,” the doctor declared, scribbling on a piece of paper. “You might want to think about seeing someone week to week, but I think that all of you are doing so well.”

 
“No meds?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “Nope. I don’t see any reason for you to need them. You’re happy and healthy.”

  Wow, that one shocked me. Adalyn too, by the way her eyes widened at the woman, suggesting she herself was crazy. She wasn’t; she just wasn’t good at her job. That meant very good things for me and my sisters. Freedom.

  She made a call, and the four of us all split up to go home. Mom swept me off before I could get a real goodbye, seeming annoyed that the shrink thought we were fine. It was like she wanted us to have more wrong with us. But it hardly mattered, because I was free now.

  Welly was at already home when I got back, and I was very happy to see him. He gave me a hug and told me all about his day so far.

  Welly was excited today. It was Halloween, and I was taking him trick or treating. Mom got me a costume since I didn’t know how to make one. I was going as Princess Peach. My little Luigi was downstairs getting ready.

  I still hadn’t told the girls about the woman I’d talked to, and Felicia hadn’t spoken with me again. Mom and Dad were in the dark because I knew they would try and stop me. I had to do this. I had to try and do things for myself. Things that would get my heart racing. Even if it was from fear. I didn’t care anymore.

  Pacing was a good way to think. I was in my room, pacing in the warm light that poured in through the window. It wasn’t raining today, and Welly said it was God trying to make his day perfect. I just smiled and let him believe.

  I bit the bullet and dialed Layla’s phone number. Immediately, she was happy to hear from me. We hooked it up so that all four of us were on the phone. It was like I’d been under water and someone handed me an oxygen tank. The other parts of me were connected again.

  “What do you think of her?” I asked after I told them my Felicia story.

  “Wait,” Layla said. “When she called me she said you guys all agreed to the interview already. It was the only reason I said yes.”

  “Me too,” Kylie sighed. “She tricked us.”

  “Fabulous,” Adalyn said. “What do we do? Do you guys still want to do it? She’s clearly just after a story. She doesn’t care about us.”

  I piped up. “So?”

  Layla scoffed. “What do you mean so? Why should we help her when she’d just as soon fuck us over?”

  I flinched, because I’d never heard the word from her. Not since the beginning.

  “Because maybe this can be a good thing. We get a little attention, and we can have more opportunities. She asked me about school. I never thought I’d get to go to school.”

  “College?” I could hear Kylie smiling through the word. “Like with boys?”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Boys…” Layla said. “Hmm. I kind of like my mailman. He’s cute, and he always walks my mail up to me.”

  “Guys,” Adalyn snapped. “Are you crazy? We don’t need boys. We don’t need school. We need to stay safe. What happens when we go on TV? They’ll wanna know everything. Do you really want to tell a bunch of strangers what it felt like to have an adult man strip us naked and bathe us? Shave us down and wax us? Are you prepared to tell them anything they wanna know? How about the beatings? Do you want to see the look on your parents faces when they find out just how much we got hit?”

  Layla always got hit the worst. She had more of a mouth on her than we did. But I remembered every strike against me. Each slap; each time his hands were around my neck, holding me underwater until I said I was sorry for what I did.

  “She has a point,” Kylie said. “Not that I want to share, but I’m not sure. God, haven’t we dealt with enough? How many more people have to think we’re freaks? Know we’re freaks.”

  I made my point. “I want to do it. If you don’t, then don’t.”

  Layla seemed annoyed. “Why are you so eager?”

  Because this is a bad idea. “Because I want to do something other than pace my house waiting for life to start.”

  Adalyn spoke next. “Maybe you have a point. I haven’t left my house in days. I want to get out. I want to get to know new people. Maybe have a real life. My dad is talking about moving, and I’d like to be able to make a fresh start.”

  “Moving?” I asked without tone.

  It was bad enough that she was so far away now. I didn’t want her farther.

  “Portland. Dad got an offer, and we’re talking about it. My dad said we could do visits whenever we needed. We’ll be able to afford it. I think that this might be nice—a whole new place. I’d like to figure out how to be a person.”

  It was what we all wanted, and I knew it. Having had our childhoods taken, it seemed impossible to come back from this. To be anything else. I still wanted to try.

  “Fine,” Layla decided. “If you all do it, then I’ll do it. Who’s in?”

  “Me,” I said.

  “Me,” from Adalyn.

  Kylie hesitated. “I guess I’ll do it.”

  “Great,” Layla sighed. “Then I guess we’re doing this. Freaks on parade. This’ll be a real party.”

  I rolled my eyes. “We get a limo ride, and we get to stuff our faces with the food they’re putting out for us.”

  “Food!” Adalyn exclaimed. “No one told me there was free food. I’m in.”

  We all talked for another half hour, keeping it lighter. Adalyn was getting a dog, Kylie’s parents were dating each other, and Layla had a crush on the boy who worked at the store deli. It was all very healthy, and I was jealous. My happiness was all fake, and I didn’t know how to make it real. They were better at this than I was.

  After we hung up, I looked over my costume. The only one that would fit my ever-expanding body was the slutty version of Peach. That just meant that the skirt was shorter than I’d like and the sleeves went under my shoulders. I could deal with that.

  I opted to not go for the wig. No part of me wanted to go back to the long blonde hair, even if only for a night. I think the knee socks it suggested were a bit much, but stockings would do just fine. Plus, I had a little crown.

  I put my costume on after dinner, and I checked myself out in the full-length mirror in my room. The dress hit my knees, and I seemed to fill it out fairly well. I guess two weeks of stuffing my face really paid off. I even went up a cup size. Yay me…

  It was interesting seeing myself in pink again. He loved pink on us, and it made my stomach roil and my knees threaten to stop working. I was fine. This was just a color, and it had no power over me. I could take it off any time I wanted. Just a color.

  To feel more in control, I started picking out things I liked about the dress. My shoulders looked like soft, bare slopes from my neck. The pale blue in my eyes popped with the jewel in the dress and crown. I guess my legs looked okay. I decided against tights and put boots on instead. Not very Peach-ish, but I liked it, almost like Peach was just ready for anything. I had just a hint of cleavage, suggesting heavily what I was hiding under the dress. My father wouldn’t approve, but I doubt he’d say anything about it. I may have them convinced I was happy, but the balance was still fragile.

  I had a candy bag in the shape of Toad, so I could just drop the treat into his head. A little morbid, but I liked it. I was even hoping to get some candy tonight. Having something to look forward to made it easier to forget about all the sharp things in this room.

  “I guess I’ll see ya later,” I said to my toad, leaning down to see him. He was on his log, looking put out to be awake. “Don’t get all mad at me just ‘cuz Mom doesn’t like you. She thinks you’re messy.”

  He didn’t respond. He was just a toad.

  Once I was ready, I went downstairs to find my little brother in full Luigi costume running around like a mad man. I think he was singing about candy.

  Mom approached me, looking worried as ever. “You have your phone, right?”

  I showed it to her. “I know how to use it. Fully charged and the sound is all the way up. I’ll hear if you call me.”

  She b
reathed out of her mouth and glanced between my brother and I. “It’s going to be dark out there. Be careful, please. I can’t lose you again. Or Maxwell.”

  Mom looked so tense, I almost considered staying home so she would feel better. She’d tried to get an invite along, but I finally got her to let me leave the house on my own. Sort of on my own, I guess. Wilson was going to be there keeping an eye on me like I was a kid. I doubted my mother would let me leave the house totally alone.

  I nodded once and put on my fake adult voice. “Everything is going to be fine. I’ll text you every twenty minutes.”

  Mom left me to answer the knock on the door while I checked to make sure my phone was working fine. I was still getting the hang of it, but it was pretty easy. Everything had a little picture to represent what I needed.

  “Oh wow.” Mom laughed, making me look over my shoulder.

  I wasn’t expecting to see him, but I thought better of it the second I did. Days, and I wasn’t even sure how many. Or how much I missed him during those days. I tried not to think about him at all, and I found myself not doing so. It was easier, and I felt less guilty. I missed when he smiled at me, or when he would give me moments of peace. I threw that all away to save him.

  And he was on my porch.

  “Ahh!” Jude yelled as he made a beeline for my brother. He was dressed as Mario of course, and I remembered that Wilson was supposed to take the boys out.

  Wilson stared at me with a huge grin as if I hadn’t thrown him away. The problem was that I was smiling too. It might have had something to do with his head-to-toe costume. Waluigi, complete with the pointy mustache and hat and a purple long-sleeved shirt and overalls.

  I took a few steps to him, not breaking eye contact while I spoke to my mom. “Can you give us a minute?”

  Mom let out a sigh. “You’re going to be back early, right? I don’t want you out there until all hours. You can get into trouble.”

  No one missed the look to Wilson. Oh good, Dad got to her. They acted like Wilson was just waiting for the chance to tie me to train track. But I guess he did have the mustache for it.

  “We won’t keep the kids out too long,” I promised, pretending that I actually had some control over this. If I was out later than the time we’d agreed on, she would probably call the police. Maybe we would get lucky and meet with that awful councilor woman again.