by Yu Hua
As he accepted the manuscript, Song Gangs heart skipped a beat. The pages were so smothered in Writer Liu's red markings that he could barely see the original, making Song Gang feel that his story must have been very problematic. At this point Writer Liu proudly pulled a story of his own from his desk drawer and handed it to Song Gang, asking him to take it home and read it carefully. Acting as if he were handing Song Gang a masterpiece, Liu said, "See how this is written."
That night Song Gang carefully read over Liu's corrections and exhortations but found himself confused and unable to figure out what Writer Liu was trying to say. Song Gang then read Writer Liu's new work and found himself similarly unable to make heads or tails of it.
Baldy Li saw Song Gang working through the night and, curious, came over to see what he was doing. He first read Writer Liu's critiques of Song Gang's story and declared, "This is bullshit." Then he took Writer Liu's new work and counted the pages. Finding that there were only six, he fanned them disdainfully, asking why it was so short. Baldy Li began reading the story, but before he had finished, he threw it aside, pronouncing it "dull—a total bore."
Baldy Li yawned, lay down on the bed, and started snoring as soon as his head hit the pillow. Song Gang continued earnestly reading both his own corrected story and Writer Liu's new work. The corrections and critique made him feel confused and disappointed, particularly the critique in which Liu essentially undermined Song Gangs entire story, although it was true that Liu did add a few words of encouragement at the end. Song Gang believed that Writer Liu was trying to give him a sort of bitter medicine and was grateful that he had taken the time to write out his corrections and critiques. He therefore felt that he should repay the debt by writing out some comments of his own on the blank page at the end of Writer Liu's manuscript. He started diligently writing, first offering a few words of praise and then pointing out several of the work's shortcomings. Unlike Writer Liu's, Song Gang's critique was not a mess of crossed-out errors and corrections; rather, he first wrote out a draft, corrected it several times, and then carefully copied it onto the final page of Writer Liu's manuscript.
When he got off work the next day, Song Gang returned Writer Liu's new story to him. Writer Liu sat in his chair with his legs crossed, smiling as he waited to hear Song Gang sing his praises. The last thing he expected to hear, therefore, was Song Gang telling him, "All of my comments appear on the final page."
Writer Liu's expression immediately changed, and he hurriedly turned to the last page of his work, where he did indeed find Song Gang's critique. Absolutely furious, Writer Liu jumped up from his chair, pounded the table, and pointed his finger at Song Gang's nose, roaring, "You, you, you … How dare you break earth over the mighty?"
Writer Liu was so furious he started sputtering. But Song Gang merely stood there in dumbfounded silence, completely baffled by Writer Liu's anger. He hemmed and hawed, then asked, "Breaking what earth?"
Writer Liu took his story, turned to the last page, and asked, "This— what is this?"
Song Gang uneasily replied, "These are my comments."
Writer Liu was so furious he flung his story to the floor, but he immediately regretted it and quickly picked it up again. While caressing his manuscript, he continued shouting at Song Gang, "You, how dare you scribble on my text?"
Finally understanding why Writer Liu was so angry, Song Gang became unhappy himself. He said, "You also scribbled on mine."
Writer Liu heard this with astonishment and became even more furious, pounding his desk and shouting, "Who are you? And who am I? What is your manuscript? You should be flattered if I were to even deign to piss and crap on your manuscript, you motherfucker!"
Hearing this, Song Gang also became furious. He walked forward a few steps and pointed at Writer Liu, saying, "You leave my mother out of this, because if you curse my mother, I'll …"
"You'll what?" Writer Liu raised his fist, but realizing that Song Gang was half a head taller than he, he immediately lowered it again.
Song Gang hesitated, then said, "I'll beat the crap out of you!"
Writer Liu roared back, "Nonsense!"
For Song Gang, who was normally so respectful toward him, to speak of beating up Writer Liu made Liu so furious that he picked up a bottle of ink from his desk and flung it at him. The red ink splattered all over Song Gang's glasses, his face, as well as his clothes. Song Gang took off his ink-covered glasses and placed them in his pocket, then rushed at Liu with both hands extended as if about to put him in a chokehold. The rest of the people in the factory's supplies and marketing section rushed up and pulled Song Gang away. Writer Liu then took the opportunity to retreat to a corner of the room and barked out to his workers, "Arrest him!"
Several of Liu's workers pushed Song Gang back to his workshop. Song Gang, his face bright red, sat down on a long bench as rivulets of ink ran down his face and torso. The workers from Liu's office sat next to him and tried to comfort him, while the workers in Song Gang's own workshop crowded around to hear what had happened. Liu's employees recounted to Song Gang's workshop artisans the fight between Song Gang and Writer Liu. Someone asked what the source of the conflict was, whereupon the supplies and marketing people admitted confusion. Shaking their heads, they said, "We can't begin to understand the affairs of literati like them."
Song Gang sat there without saying a word, unable to understand why the normally sophisticated and urbane Writer Liu had been cursing him out like a shrew, using language even coarser than a peasant's. Song Gang burned with righteous indignation, wondering where Writer Liu got off talking to him like this. The people gathered around him had dispersed, and Song Gang walked over to the public fountain to wash the red ink off his face and glasses. After the red stain had been washed off, Song Gang's complexion became pale with fury. With this pale, furious face he returned to his workstation, and that afternoon when he got off work, it was with the same pale, furious face that he returned home.
When Baldy Li got home, he saw Song Gang sitting at the table, stewing. Noticing the red ink splattered across Song Gangs clothing like markings on a map, Baldy Li asked what had happened. Song Gang told him everything, and when he finished, Baldy Li didn't say a word but instead turned on his heels and walked out the door. He knew which alley Writer Liu lived in, and stalked off to teach the pretentious asshole a lesson.
The moment he reached the main street Baldy Li ran into Writer Liu, who was just emerging from his alley. Liu was carrying a soy sauce bottle, which he was on his way to refill at his wife's behest. Baldy Li stopped and called out to Liu, "Hey, little guy, come here."
Writer Liu felt that this voice sounded very familiar, and he turned to see Baldy Li standing there cockily waving at him from across the street. Liu was reminded of how, when they were young, Victory Zhao would often have Sun Wei call out to Baldy Li like this whenever they wanted to give him a taste of their leg-sweeping kicks. But now it was Baldy Li who was calling out to him. Aware that Baldy Li was hailing him because of the matter with Song Gang, Writer Liu hesitated for a moment but then crossed the street with his soy sauce bottle and walked right up to him.
Baldy Li gestured angrily at him and cursed, "You son of a bitch, how dare you splatter ink all over my brother, Song Gang? You fucking bastard!"
Writer Liu sputtered. Whereas earlier he had backed away from a fight with Song Gang on account of the fact that Song Gang was half a head taller than he, Baldy Li was half a head shorter, so Writer Liu felt he had nothing to worry about. He wanted to curse out Baldy Li instead but saw that a group of onlookers had gathered and therefore decided it would be better to preserve his dignity. He coldly replied, "Please watch your mouth."
Baldy Li snorted. With his left hand he grabbed Liu by the collar, and curling his right into a fist, he snarled, "I do indeed have a foul mouth, and I plan to foul up your clean face."
Baldy Li's bluster made Writer Liu quake a little. Liu realized that although Baldy Li was half a head shorter, he neverthel
ess looked extraordinarily strong. He struggled to free himself from Baldy Li's grip, attempting to maintain his writerly dignity in front of the assembled crowd. While weakly swatting at the hand with which Baldy Li was holding him by the collar, hoping that he would let go of his own accord, Writer Liu said primly, "I am an intellectual, and I won't get entangled with the likes of you."
"Well, I especially like beating up intellectuals."
Writer Liu had not even finished speaking when Baldy Li started punching him one, two, three, four times with his right fist, punching him so hard that Writer Liu's head snapped back and forth. Baldy Li followed up his advantage with punches five, six, seven, eight until Writer Liu's entire body swayed as he fell to his knees. Baldy Li pulled Liu back to his feet and then pounded him four times in the face. The soy sauce bottle in Liu's hand fell to the ground and shattered. Liu seemed to have passed out, but Baldy Li held him up while continuing to pound his face like a punching bag. Writer Liu's eyes swelled to narrow slits, and his nose began spurting blood. In all, Baldy Li punched Writer Liu twenty-eight times, leaving him looking as if he had barely survived a car wreck. Finally Baldy Li's left hand, with which he was holding Liu up, began to tire, and when he released his grip, Writer Liu collapsed like a sack of sand. Baldy Li quickly grabbed Liu's clothing from behind and, as Writer Liu fell to his knees, Baldy Li continued to hold his collar, not letting him topple over. Baldy Li laughed as he announced to the assembled crowd, "And this is what is known as an intellectual."
Then Baldy Li proceeded to use his right fist to pound Writer Liu's back and quickly punched him eleven times in succession while Liu grunted in pain. Baldy Li noticed that Liu's voice had changed from his earlier shrill screams to a series of dull moans. With a surprised expression, Baldy Li told the assembled crowd, "Do you hear? This intellectual is chanting a laborer's work song."
Then, as if he were performing a science experiment, Baldy Li punched Writer Liu in the back again and heard Liu grunt, "Heave-ho." Baldy Li pounded him five more times, and Writer Liu responded with five more "heave-ho" grunts, sounding as if the two of them had previously rehearsed their call-and-answer routine. Baldy Li excitedly continued to beat Liu as he told the crowd, "I am helping to bring out his true laborer colors!"
By this time Baldy Li was covered in sweat. When he released his left hand, Writer Liu's body crumpled to the ground and lay motionless like a slaughtered pig. Baldy Li wiped the sweat from his brow and said with satisfaction, as if he were concluding a lesson, "We'll stop here for today."
In reality, Baldy Li was just getting started. He remembered that Writer Liu had another intellectual comrade, Poet Zhao, and therefore announced to the assembled crowd, "Poet Zhao is also an intellectual. Please tell him that within the next six months I'll plan to help bring out his true laborer colors, too."
Baldy Li swaggered off, leaving Writer Liu crumpled beneath a wutong tree, completely covered in blood. Passersby crowded around him for a while, pointing and offering their opinions. Baldy Li had aimed his twenty-eight punches at Writer Liu's five facial orifices, leaving him lying motionless on the street and barely able to discern the world around him. Finally some workers from the metal factory passed by on their way to work and, seeing their section chief lying there covered in blood, they rolled their eyes, grinned, then quickly carried him to the hospital.
As Writer Liu lay in the emergency-room bed, he insisted that the person who had beaten him was not Baldy Li but, rather, Li Kui. The factory workers didn't know what to make of this and asked him, "Which Li Kui?"
Writer Liu coughed up some blood as he answered, "The one who appears in Water Margin, who is also known as the Black Whirlwind."
The workers were flabbergasted, saying that that Li Kui was not from Liu Town but, rather, was a character in a novel. Writer Liu nodded, saying that Li Kui had emerged from the novel to smack him around. Several workers burst out laughing, asking him why in the world Li Kui would want to do that. Writer Liu took the opportunity to curse Li Kui a few times, saying that he was all brawn and no brain, his muscles having crowded out his wits. He said that Li Kui received mistaken information, went to the wrong place, and beat up the wrong person. After explaining this, Writer Liu continued coughing up blood and asked in a dull voice, "How could Baldy Li be a match for me?"
Several workers thought to themselves that this was the end and pulled over a doctor to ask whether their section chief had been beaten senseless. The doctor shook his head and replied that Liu's condition was not that serious, that he was merely suffering from a case of delusional memory. He added, "If he sleeps it off, he'll be fine."
Baldy Li had threatened that his next victim would be Poet Zhao. When word of this threat finally made its way to Poet Zhao himself, he turned pale with fury. He snorted five or six times in succession, and then Zhao, who rarely cursed, pronounced, "That little bastard."
Poet Zhao told the Liu Town crowds that formerly, which is to say eleven or twelve years earlier, he had repeatedly given Baldy Li the taste of his heel, whereupon Baldy Li had wailed and stumbled about, sometimes halfway across the street. Poet Zhao declared that Baldy Li was human scum. He told how at fourteen Baldy Li had peeked at women's bottoms in the public toilet, and how after he, Poet Zhao, had nabbed him, Baldy Li had secretly nursed a grievance against him, waiting for a chance to exact revenge. As Poet Zhao recalled that day of glory when he paraded Baldy Li down the street, his face began to warm and his voice became loud and clear. When some in the crowd repeated that Baldy Li was planning to beat Zhao until the poet became a laborer, Poet Zhao's complexion turned pale again. So angry that his voice quavered, he said, "I'll beat him up first, you just watch. I'll first take this laborer and beat him into an intellectual, beat him until he never curses again, until he treats people politely, until he respects the elderly and loves the young, until he is refined and cultivated."
Some of the townspeople laughed. "If you continue beating him like this, won't you beat him into a Poet Li?" asked one.
Poet Zhao was momentarily confounded, then muttered, "I might as well beat him into a Poet Li."
Poet Zhao had spoken boldly while out on the street, but once he got home he started to feel apprehensive. Now agitated and fearful, he calculated that if he and Baldy Li were indeed to duke it out, his height would probably give him only a slight advantage, and he couldn't even be certain of that. He worried that Baldy Li was so impulsive that he wouldn't know how to keep his beatings in moderation. Remembering how Baldy Li had struck Writer Liu in the face twenty-eight times and left him suffering from delusional paranoia, it occurred to Zhao that if Baldy Li were to strike him in the face twenty-eight times, he might end up not just filled with temporary delusions but permanently retarded. After realizing this, Poet Zhao started doing everything in his power to avoid having to leave the house. If there was something for which he absolutely had to go out, he would first carefully reconnoiter the unfamiliar terrain like a military scout; if he caught the slightest whiff of Baldy Li, he would immediately duck and cower in the nearest alley.
After his beating, Writer Liu spent two full days in the hospital and then rested at home for another month. As for Baldy Li, apart from being summoned by Tao Qing to the Civil Affairs Bureau office for a reprimand, he was off the hook. When people asked Baldy Li why he wanted to beat the intellectual Writer Liu until he turned back into the laborer Success Liu, Baldy Li would immediately answer with a grin, "I didn't beat him. It was Li Kui who beat him."
Song Gang was deeply troubled by the fact that Baldy Li had beaten someone to the point that he had to be hospitalized. Though everything Liu had said and done that day infuriated Song Gang, he nevertheless felt that it was not right for Baldy Li to beat him so badly. Song Gang wanted to go visit Writer Liu but was afraid that Baldy Li would disapprove. When he saw that Writer Liu had almost recovered and would soon return to work at the metal factory, Song Gang decided that he could not put the visit off any longer. Stammeringly he s
uggested, "We should go pay a visit to Writer Liu."
Baldy Li waved him off. "If someone is to go, it should be you. I'm not going."
Song Gang continued to hem and haw, saying that if you beat someone up, you should take them something. Baldy Li didn't know where Song Gang was going with this, and asked, "What are you trying to say with all that muttering?"
Song Gang had no alternative but to tell Baldy Li the truth, which was that he wanted to buy a few apples to take to Writer Liu. When Baldy Li heard the word apple, his mouth immediately began to water, and he told Song Gang that he himself had never eaten an apple. He added, "Is this not letting that laborer off lightly?"
Song Gang did not reply but just lowered his head and sat at the table. Baldy Li recognized that Song Gang was distressed and therefore patted his shoulder and said, "Okay, go buy some apples and pay him a visit."
Song Gang smiled with gratitude, and Baldy Li shook his head, saying, "I don't care about a few apples. I'm just afraid that, after all the effort I expended in bringing out his inner laborer, a few apples might encourage his intellectual pretentiousness to return."
Song Gang bought five apples from a fruit stall. He then returned home and picked out the biggest and freshest to leave for Baldy Li, placing the remaining four apples in an old book bag. Song Gang arrived at Writer Liu's house carrying the bag. By that time Writer Liu had recuperated and was sitting in his courtyard chatting with neighbors. Hearing that Song Gang was at the door, Liu sent someone to ask what he wanted while he hurried back to bed.