Disobey

by Jacqui Rose

  She hadn’t slept well and had been awake most of the night. No matter how hard she’d tried, she hadn’t been able to get what had happened to her at Mr Lee’s out of her head. It had all been such a blur, and not just because of the wine they’d given her to calm her down before they’d started. Far from it, they’d only allowed her to have one glass, telling her if she had more it might ruin her performance.

  She hadn’t known what they’d meant, but afterwards, when she’d thought about it, it was obvious they’d wanted her to be as alert as possible for the paying viewers.

  She was still in shock. Not because she didn’t know these things went on, but she’d had no idea she was going to be part of it. She’d assumed she’d be having sex with one or two men, perhaps even another girl thrown into the mix. But it hadn’t been that, far from it. In fact, no one had had sex with her at all. It had all been based around pain. The kind of pain she didn’t know had existed till last night. The pain in her back was still excruciating and when she’d laid in bed, every time she turned over it had jolted her into being wide awake.

  When Chloe had managed to fall asleep for a little bit, she’d woken up to find her open sores stuck to the sheet and she’d had to peel herself off the bedding as if she’d had a giant plaster stuck to her back.

  To make herself feel better she’d looked at the money, but the same thing had happened as yesterday. Instead of delighting her and exciting her like she’d thought it would’ve done, all it did was depress her more, which didn’t make sense. It was what she’d wanted; an opportunity to be able to save up and get a place of her own. Buy clothes. Buy food, even travel. It was what she had wished for most of her teenage life, but now it might actually happen she didn’t feel anything. Anything apart from the empty hole inside her, which had been there as long as she could remember.

  Quietly opening the front door, Chloe-Jane breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted to do this morning was to have to converse with Lola, and answer questions about her job which would inevitably mean having to lie. And she was sick of it. Sick of lying to people who believed in her and cared. Her lies had already ruined her relationship with Franny and the last thing Chloe-Jane wanted to do was have the same thing happen with Lola.

  Halfway down the low-rise block of flats’ communal corridor, Chloe heard a familiar voice behind her. ‘Hey, what’s all this missy? Were you trying to get off without saying goodbye?’

  Chloe turned to see a bleary-eyed Lola standing at her front door.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. I had to pick up a few bits and then I’ve got to go to work. Oh, I left your money on the kitchen table in an envelope.’

  ‘What about a cup of tea and a cigarette? Can’t beat that for starting the day. I don’t know what I’d do without me B&H.’

  Chloe smiled, wishing she could do exactly that. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want to hear any more lies coming out of her own mouth. ‘I’d love to but I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, Lola.’

  Chloe headed down the three flights of stairs to the entrance. At the bottom, she heard Lola calling.

  ‘Have a good day and be careful, Chloe-Jo.’

  Chloe smiled, calling back up to Lola. ‘It’s Jane.’

  ‘Well send her up, I want a word.’

  Half an hour later, Chloe-Jane walked down the road, still chuckling at Lola. It was funny when she’d first met her, she’d got the impression she was a minging old cow, but she’d been so wrong. Lola was quite the opposite. She was warm, funny and caring. Just like Franny. Thinking about Franny made Chloe have to take a sharp intake of breath.

  It still hurt and she was still ashamed that she had lied to someone who had been so kind to her. Her Uncle Alfie on the other hand had been a bit of an idiot to say the least – but then there must be something about him other than what she’d seen for Franny to be in love with him.

  As much as Chloe-Jane missed Franny, she was pleased not to be in the middle any more though. She’d hated being in-between her and Uncle Alfie. And what had happened to Casey, she didn’t like to think about. The memory of Casey lying in the pool of blood flashed through her mind constantly and she was too afraid to ask Lola if she was going to pull through.

  Sighing, Chloe stopped to pull out her phone. She’d been told to call Jodie and wait by the pharmacy in Glasshouse Street, and from there she’d be collected by her friend to take her to see Mr Lee.

  Not that she felt Jodie was her friend anymore. She’d behaved so weirdly. And although she’d only known Jodie for such a small time, Chloe had really thought they could’ve been the best of friends.

  ‘Hello?’ Jodie’s voice sounded muffled.

  ‘Jodie, it’s Chloe-Jane.’

  ‘I know who you are, you come up on my caller ID.’ There was silence.

  ‘Jodie?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘I thought you’d gone.’

  There was a moment’s silence before Jodie spoke. ‘I didn’t think you’d be coming back.’

  Chloe didn’t say anything. The thought of not going back had crossed her mind as well. But then what? She’d be in the same predicament as she was before, and perhaps, just perhaps she’d get used to it, like she had with any of the bad things that had happened to her in her life. And after all, it wouldn’t be forever. The most it might be would be a few months, and by that time she would’ve saved up enough to pay a few months upfront for a flat.

  ‘Why not?’

  Jodie’s voice was flat. ‘Because of what they did to you.’

  Chloe-Jane’s reply was equally as flat and devoid of emotion. ‘It’s work, ain’t it.’

  ‘Yeah, I guess … Where are you?’

  ‘Glasshouse Street.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes … Chloe-Jane?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘You don’t have to.’

  Chloe was puzzled. ‘Don’t have to what?’

  ‘Come back. You don’t have to come back … I can tell them you decided to go back home. It’s not too late, Chloe. You can still change your mind.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Listen, I’ll see you in fifteen minutes.’ The call was cut off without a goodbye, leaving Chloe-Jane to stand in the middle of the busy street, wondering quite what her friend had meant.

  ‘Is it sore?’ Jodie touched Chloe’s back.

  ‘Yeah, but I think it looks worse than it is.’

  Jodie burst into laughter. A warm childish giggle. ‘How do you know what it looks like if it’s on your back?’

  Chloe, delighted her friend was talking to her properly for the first time, giggled too. ‘I used a mirror, silly.’

  ‘Was it a big one?’

  ‘The mirror?’

  Jodie’s face became serious. ‘No, the strap, was it a big leather strap he used?’

  Chloe Jane shivered. ‘Not really, but it had a small razor on it. That’s what made the cuts.’

  Jodie closely inspected Chloe-Jane’s back. Her fingers traced the welts and bruises, the tiny cuts and lumps. ‘I’m sorry, Chloe.’

  Chloe turned to her friend, seeing the kindness in her eyes. ‘What for? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.’

  ‘I have. I shouldn’t have picked you. In the pub that night, I picked you for a reason. It was written all over your face.’

  ‘What was?’

  Jodie looked ashamed and her eyes filled with fresh tears. ‘That you had no one. I should’ve left you alone, Chloe. You shouldn’t be doing this.’

  ‘No Jodie, I’m pleased you did. I’m pleased you picked me. You’ve given me a chance. There’s no way I’d earn the kind of money I’m going to earn here. I can get me own flat … Hey, maybe we could share a flat.’

  Jodie’s face was full of fear. ‘Listen Chloe, I have to tell you something, they …’

  ‘What’s all this then?’ One of Mr Lee’s men walked into the room, followed by Mr Lee himself.
He let his acolyte do the talking. ‘What were you talking about?’ His tone was sharp and he stared at Jodie, who blushed profusely and stumbled to find the words.

  Chloe-Jane spoke quickly. ‘She was telling me that I was lucky to be here, that there were a lot of other girls who’d love to earn the kind of money I am.’

  The man looked towards Jodie, watched by Mr Lee. ‘Is that right?… Jodie, is that right? You know how I hate it when you don’t answer.’

  Jodie glanced at Chloe, then back to Mr Lee’s man. ‘Yeah that’s right. I just wanted to make sure she kept her word about doing a good job for you.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it, now hurry up, we’re streaming live in five minutes.’

  The two men walked out of the room and as Chloe went to follow, Jodie grabbed her arm.

  She spoke in a whisper. ‘Here, take this.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘A tablet; it’ll help numb the pain. It works quite quickly.’

  Chloe smiled weakly. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘But don’t tell them I gave you anything.’

  Chloe took the tablet out of Jodie’s hand, swallowing it down. She met Jodie’s eyes. ‘Of course not, I promise. Friends don’t rat on friends.’

  Jodie sat in the darkened room, next door to where the live streaming was taking place. She couldn’t watch the monitor. She knew what was happening, but she didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to see the terror and pain in her friend’s eyes, so instead she sat with her eyes shut tightly, hands over her ears, trying to block out Chloe-Jane’s screams.

  35

  Lola sat in the front room of her flat, feeling slightly uncomfortable, jumping at every single sound. When the door buzzer had gone only a few moments after Chloe had left, she’d thought it was Jane from the sauna with her twenty quid, so she’d buzzed her in, waiting to give her a piece of her mind. So it came as a huge shock when she opened the front door to see Franny, armed with a couple of chocolate croissants.

  ‘You don’t mind if I come in do you? I could do with a chat.’

  Normally she wouldn’t have minded at all, in fact she would’ve enjoyed the company but as things stood, having Franny anywhere near the flat made Lola feel very uneasy, and as the morning had progressed, her unease hadn’t waned.

  ‘Lola, are you okay? You seem distracted.’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about me. The usual stuff …’

  ‘Want to share it?’

  Lola wafted Franny away with her tea towel. ‘No, ignore me. Tell me about you. How you doing?’

  ‘I went to see Vaughn.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘The moose head might be a bit tricky.’

  Lola laughed. ‘Is he keeping his spirits up?’

  ‘As well as can be expected. He’s worried about Casey. I think once he knows Casey will be alright, it’ll be easier.’

  ‘That goes for all of us.’

  Absentmindedly, Franny looked around the room. There was always a calmness about Lola’s place. ‘What’s that?’ She frowned, pointing in the far corner of the room.

  ‘What’s what?’

  ‘The bag. That’s Chloe’s bag.’

  Lola’s face paled. ‘Chloe’s bag! You want to get your eyes tested. That’s mine. I’ve had it for ages. Shows how much notice you take.’

  But to Lola’s horror, Franny stood up and walked towards the bag. ‘It is hers. Look, that’s the badge she insisted on getting the day I took her to the zoo. She was like a little kid.’ Franny picked up the bag and had a quick look inside. She turned to Lola, a puzzled expression on her face. ‘This is her stuff … What’s going on, Lola?’

  There weren’t many times Lola couldn’t find anything to say, but over the past couple of weeks she’d found herself stuck for words on more than one occasion, and this moment was no exception. She smiled, shrugging her shoulders, feigning ignorance.

  ‘You’ve got me there. I must’ve picked up Chloe’s by mistake.’

  Franny stared at Lola incredulously. ‘From where, Lola? Where did you happen to pick up Chloe’s bag by mistake instead of yours?’

  Lola’s shoulders drooped. ‘Okay, listen, don’t get mad at me. It’s just …’

  Before Lola had a chance to say anything else, the front door opened and Chloe-Jane walked in, looking tired and unwell. All three women looked at each other, but it was Franny who spoke first.

  ‘Has she been staying here?’

  Lola answered, trying to soothe the inevitable betrayal Franny was about to feel. ‘It’s not how it looks.’

  Franny shot Lola a hard stare. ‘How does it look, Lola? Because how it looks to me is yet another one of the people I cared for and who I thought cared for me has gone behind my back.’

  ‘She had nowhere to go. Come on Franny, what was I supposed to do?’

  The hurt was palpable in Franny’s eyes. ‘Talk to me. That’s what you were supposed to do.’

  ‘I’m sorry Fran, I felt caught in the middle.’ Lola went to hug Franny but she pulled away.

  ‘You weren’t caught anywhere. I asked you if you had seen Chloe.’

  ‘I know you did but I didn’t know how you were going to react.’

  ‘Yes you did, Lola; you knew exactly how I was going to react; otherwise you would’ve told me. Didn’t you think about how I would feel?’

  ‘Of course I did, but be fair darlin’, she had nowhere else. You’re hurting, I know that but this ain’t like you; normally you’d be the first one to help.’

  Franny laughed bitterly. ‘And just look where it got me.’

  ‘Maybe I should go.’ Chloe spoke nervously.

  ‘Maybe you should.’ Franny stared at Chloe-Jane.

  ‘Fran, you’re wrong. Give the girl a break.’

  ‘Like she did me? Like she did Casey?’

  Lola’s voice became firm. ‘That’s out of order, Fran; she was only doing what she thought was best. She had no malice. Come on, you must be able to see that.’

  Franny hated herself for the way she was being. She should be encouraging Lola to help Chloe; after all, Chloe staying with Lola didn’t affect her in the slightest, and in fact it would put her mind at rest knowing the girl was safe. And yet knowing all this didn’t seem to make the slightest difference. ‘No, I can’t see that. All I can see is one of my closest friends going behind my back.’

  ‘Listen, I don’t want to cause any more problems. I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt no one, and I don’t want to put you in an awkward position.’ Chloe-Jane took her bag gently out of Franny’s hand. She then turned to Lola; kissing her on her cheek. ‘Thank you Lola, thanks for having me.’

  ‘Chloe, wait!’ Lola ran after Chloe as she headed for the door. ‘Please wait, Chloe.’

  ‘Really, it’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I don’t want you falling out with Franny, not over me.’

  ‘But …’

  ‘Lola …’ Chloe smiled, stopping herself from crying.

  ‘Maybe I can talk her round.’

  Chloe shook her head. ‘It won’t work.’

  ‘Where will you go though?’

  ‘My friend Jodie; the one who helped me get the job. I can go and stay with her.’

  Lola looked relieved. ‘And will she be alright about you staying?’

  ‘Yeah, she’ll be fine.’

  ‘Well at least you’ve got that job to go to, ain’t you? You’ll be able to get a flat of your own before you can say Foxtons.’ Lola fell silent then warmly added, ‘I wish it could be different. I just …’

  ‘I know … Listen, I better go. I’ll see you around.’

  ‘Hey, don’t be a stranger.’

  Chloe didn’t answer or turn round. She walked away, not allowing herself to consider that she might never see Lola or Franny again.

  ‘I told you. I told you that you can’t trust anyone. What did she say to you? Cheeky cow must have thought it was funny. Did you tell her where to get off? Did she cry? Did you cry? I hope you never; I hate it when they
think they’ve got the better of you. Are you gutted? Have you had anything to eat?’ Jodie’s questions fired down the phone as Chloe-Jane sat on a bench in Green Park.

  ‘Jodie, can I stay with you?’

  ‘With me?’

  ‘Yeah, I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t desperate.’

  ‘I dunno, it’s difficult.’

  ‘It wouldn’t be for long, I can crash on the floor.’

  Jodie’s voice was apologetic. ‘It ain’t you, Chloe, it’s Mr Lee. He sometimes checks on me at night.’

  ‘That’s odd ain’t it, why does he do that?’

  ‘Dunno, just the way it is.’

  ‘What time does he come round?’

  ‘About ten.’

  ‘Then how about I come about eleven?’ Chloe could feel her heart racing. She was desperate. There was a long pause before Jodie finally answered.

  ‘Okay.’

  Chloe-Jane screamed, making the nearest passer-by turn round in fright. ‘Really?’

  Jodie’s laughter carved into her words. ‘Yeah, really! You’re so funny Chloe, but listen, we’ve got to be so careful.’

  ‘I will. I won’t utter a word.’

  Jodie suddenly dropped her voice. She spoke in a whisper. ‘Someone’s coming, I have to go, but meet me at the corner of Weymouth and Beaumont Street at eleven-thirty.’

  The line went dead and Chloe-Jane knew she had a few hours to kill. She was pleased she didn’t have to go to work for the next couple of days; it would give her wounds time to heal. The tablet Jodie had given her had worked. Although it hadn’t taken all the pain away, it’d taken the edge off it without making her look out of it, and Mr Lee had seemed pleased. If she could get through the next couple of months, then she’d be able to not only find a flat but also find another job.

  For the first time in a long while, when she thought about the future it didn’t fill her with dread. With a renewed sense of hope, Chloe-Jane pulled out her phone to do something she’d been putting off; to make peace with Uncle Alfie.