Going Down Hard

by Carly Phillips

  Derek might give her an interview. He might even want to sleep with her. But he’d never find her good enough for anything more.

  * * *

  Derek had fucked up. How else could he explain why, when he had Cassie right where he wanted her, after an intimate night, on a morning where she was considering taking things to the next level, he’d opened his big mouth and put up a barrier between them? He couldn’t keep letting the past get in the way, and there was only one person he could talk to about his issues.

  Although he didn’t want to upset his mom, he reminded himself she’d had indigestion, not a heart attack. And she’d always been there for him. Always.

  He drove out to the small house on the south shore of Long Island that he’d bought her with his first real earnings from Blink. His dad had already been gone, and she’d refused anything huge and elaborate. Derek’s sister had married and lived close by, which gave him a sense of relief that she was never truly alone should she need anything.

  As usual, he found his mom in the state-of-the-art kitchen. The split-level house might be small, but Derek made sure his mom lacked for nothing in the details.

  “I’m so glad you’re here!” His mom pulled off her apron and met him with a big hug.

  He squeezed her hard, then stepped back to study her. “I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to rest after the scare you had?”

  She looked up at him, her blue eyes so like his own. “Rest after indigestion? I’m embarrassed and want to forget the whole thing.”

  “Better safe than sorry,” he assured her.

  “Come, sit. Can I make you a cup of coffee?”

  “Sure,” he said, because he was chilled and because his mother was happiest when she was doing for her children. “And what kind of cake do you have?” His mother always had fresh-baked goods on hand.

  “Coffee cake,” she said with a laugh.

  “Big slice, please.”

  She smiled, thrilled with his answer. “So,” she said as she puttered around the kitchen, brewing them both a cup of hot coffee, “to what do I owe this visit? Checking up on your old mother?”

  He took in her still-jet-black hair, pulled back in a bun, and her barely lined face. She wore a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt, with fuzzy slippers on her feet. Old? Not a chance, not in looks or demeanor.

  “No, actually. I wanted to talk to you.” She placed his cup on the counter and he wrapped his hands around the extra-large mug. “Someone came back into my life recently and it has me … mixed up,” he admitted.

  After slicing two pieces of cake, Derek’s big enough for two, she pulled her chair close to his and sat down. “Who is this person who has my normally unflappable son ruffled?” she asked.

  He drew a deep breath. “Cassie Storms.”

  “Oh. Oh!”

  She descended into silence, and he let her mull over the information, which undoubtedly brought back a host of bad memories.

  “She was always such a sweet child,” his mother said, her first reaction taking him off guard.

  He’d never shared what happened that day with anyone but Kade and Lucas. Back then he’d been too embarrassed by the comments, which, though humiliating, had also been true. No rich girl was going to bring the gardener’s son home to Daddy.

  He took a long sip of hot coffee, letting it warm him from the inside out. “Do you hold a grudge?” he asked his mom.

  “Against Cassandra?”

  He smiled at the use of her full name. “Against any of the family. But yes, Cassie too.”

  “God, no. Cassie was away at school when it happened. She was nothing but a respectful, nice girl, so no. I don’t hold a grudge against her.” His mother studied him with a curious look in her eyes. “As for the others, Daniella Storms was blinded by her husband. She always was. Like Cassandra, though, she treated me with respect. And she wasn’t home the day Christopher Storms called the police and accused me of stealing.”

  “What?”

  She shook her head. “She was away for a spa week with some of her women friends. I never heard from her, but she had nothing to do with what happened either.”

  “Hmm.” Derek processed that information, filing it away because he couldn’t help but sense it was important. How, he didn’t know. Yet.

  She rubbed her hands together. “You know, life’s too short to hold grudges, but if you’re asking me if I like or respect Mr. Storms, the answer is a definite no. After years of service and no issues, the man railroaded me without a second thought. And it wasn’t good enough to fire me. He called the police too. He and his son stood by, watching me taken away.” She shook her head, her eyes downcast at the memory.

  He placed a hand over hers. “I’m sorry to bring all this up again.”

  She brushed off his statement with a wave of her hand. “How did you come to see Cassandra again?” she asked.

  “She called the office. Turns out she wanted to interview me.”

  His mother nodded. “I see. And did you do the interview?”

  “We’re just beginning. She’s looking for something more in-depth than a one-time conversation.”

  “So you’re spending time with her and the past is getting in the way?” his mother astutely asked.

  “That’s part of it.” He dug into the cake, needing a big bite of fortification for the rest of this conversation.

  “And the other part?” His mother pushed for information.

  Derek swallowed the delicious piece of cake and followed it up with another sip of coffee. “We’re spending time together aside from work, and that’s why the past is coming between us.”

  “Oh, good lord,” his mother murmured. “Christopher Storms would have a coronary if he knew.”

  “Is that wishful thinking?” Derek asked wryly.

  His mother shot him a warning look. Yeah, yeah. He knew. Don’t wish anyone ill.

  But he hadn’t considered what Cassie’s family would think about them seeing each other, mostly because he hadn’t initially considered them getting together anything more than a fling. Getting her out of his system so he’d stop obsessing about the gorgeous girl with the big brown eyes. That long, luxurious hair. The breasts he couldn’t keep his hands off and the body he craved entry to.

  Shit. These were not the thoughts to have around his mother. But they certainly proved his biggest issue. He wasn’t getting Cassie out of his system any time soon.

  “Oh, son, you have it bad, don’t you?” his mother asked, a knowing smile on her face.

  “What? No. It’s just—”

  “Don’t lie to your mother,” she said, the words a verbal slap. She always did know when he wasn’t telling the truth. “You can’t hold Cassie responsible for what her father did.”

  “No, that’s not her fault, any more than the fact that I was the maid and the gardener’s son,” he said, admitting more of what was bothering him.

  His mother pursed her lips. “Facts are what facts are. Either you can live with them or you can’t.”

  “That’s pretty much what Cassie said.”

  She nodded. “Smart girl. You need to move on from the past. Holding a grudge isn’t going to bring your father back,” she said, hitting on the crux of all he hadn’t said.

  An immediate lump formed in his throat, his chest heavy with sadness. His father had developed a hacking cough that he treated with over-the-counter cough medicine. He continued to work at menial jobs, the only ones he could get without references for his past years of work. By the time he started coughing blood and did seek treatment, he was diagnosed him with incurable lung cancer. Too much time had passed with him undiagnosed and untreated.

  “Don’t you ever wonder, if things had been different, if you’d both had jobs and health insurance, if he would still be alive today?”

  She blinked in surprise. “What? No. Derek, your father was a stubborn man. There’s no saying he would have gone to the doctor any sooner.”

  He reared back in shoc
k. All these years he’d believed one narrative. “I always thought if he’d just had insurance, things would have been different.”

  “Because it was easier to blame someone else.”

  “I still blame Christopher Storms.”

  “If that helps you sleep at night, go ahead. But don’t add Cassandra to the list.”

  He pushed the cake plate away, his appetite gone. “Thanks for the talk,” he said, appreciating his mother’s honesty.

  “You’re welcome. But I want to add one more thing, and you might not like what I have to say.” She tipped her head to the side and eyed him like only a parent could.

  “Go on.”

  “Just because the past shouldn’t be barrier to whatever’s going on between you and Cassie doesn’t mean it won’t be. Her father is a first-class bastard. No matter how much money you have now, he’ll never see you as good enough for his girl.”

  The sad truth was, her own father wasn’t good enough to his only daughter. But that fact only bolstered his mother’s point. The man was an ass. And Derek still wasn’t good enough to bring home to Daddy.

  The only question remained, would Cassie still care?

  He shook his head, realizing he was getting way ahead of himself. He hadn’t even slept with her yet. Why was he contemplating such serious shit?

  Because she wasn’t the kind of woman you toyed with. He’d known that at eighteen, and he understood it even more now.

  * * *

  Derek looked over the building tops through his office window. The sun shone on the snow-covered landscape, while behind him, Oscar slept beneath his desk. Derek placed his hand on the cold window and acknowledged to himself his conversation with his mother was never far from his mind. He’d been mulling it over ever since, and he always came to the same conclusion.

  He wanted Cassie. He couldn’t see past the here and now … and he didn’t need to. If they clicked, he’d deal with what came next. If they didn’t, she’d be purged from his system.

  It was time to get his act together and bring his A game. Like he had the night of their first date. But first he needed to apologize.

  Good thing she was coming to his office this morning, and he knew just the way to prove to her he’d heard her words and taken them to heart.

  He picked up the phone on his desk. “Becky, ask Kade and Lucas to get their asses in here please.”

  “You got it.”

  He loved the informal atmosphere here and the fact that his assistant put up with him.

  Two minutes later, he had his partners in the room. Their presence woke Oscar, and he greeted them with what breed lovers called the Wheaten Greetin’. He flew across the room, hopping on his hind legs, bouncing and licking at each of the men.

  “Get down, mutt,” Lucas said, affection in his voice as he stood, braced for impact.

  Kade rubbed Oscar’s head. “Why do we have the dog for company today?”

  Derek put his hand against the back of his neck. “That’s part of why I wanted to talk to you. Cassie’s coming by this morning, and I need you two to answer any questions she has.”

  Kade folded his arms across his chest. “As long as she answers any questions I have first. I need to make sure she’s not taking advantage of my friend.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “I’m asking you to behave. For my sake. I’m the one who screwed up. Letting you two talk to her is one way I’m apologizing.”

  Lucas grinned. “Fine. We’ll tell her what an asshole you were back in college. A code-loving nerd.”

  “Works for me,” Derek muttered, knowing he wouldn’t get anything better from these two jerks now, but they’d behave later with Cassie. Which was all that mattered.

  “On another subject, I’m getting married,” Lucas announced.

  “We know. You put a ring on it a few months ago,” Derek said.

  “No, I’m getting married soon. Like, on Valentine’s Day. Maxie and I don’t want to wait until the baby is born. We want it all legal ahead of time. Plus, I can’t wait to make that woman my wife. So will you two be my best man? Men? Would you stand up there with me?” he asked, chuckling.

  “You know we will,” Derek said, pulling his friend into a brotherly hug before Kade did the same.

  “We’re keeping it small. You know, because Maxie isn’t close with her parents.”

  Derek understood. Their situation was complicated. It was a miracle they were getting married at all, Derek thought. Lucas and Maxie had had their timing all wrong, Maxie having been married to Lucas’s asshole brother, who’d all but tricked her into being with him. They should have been together all along. But now not only were they a couple, they were having a baby. They were a real family, as it should have always been.

  “I’m happy for you,” Derek said.

  “I’m happy for me,” Lucas admitted.

  “What about you? How’s the missus?” he asked Kade.

  “Fucking great. I highly recommend marriage,” he said with a stupid grin.

  Derek shook his head. “And Lexie’s sister? Is Kendall holding steady?” Kendall was bipolar and was on an upswing after an extended stay at an inpatient facility for treatment.

  “Thank God, she’s fantastic too. She’s walking dogs for people in our building and working at a shelter. Holding down a job, taking her meds,” he said with pride.

  “And staying away from Julian?” Lucas asked.

  “Yes. She was hurt enough by that bastard,” Kade muttered, his fingers flexing at just the mention of the man’s name.

  Julian, one of their college friends who’d been in on the inception of Blink but who’d succumbed to a drug addiction instead of focusing on the billion-dollar prize. He’d reared his head when Blink was ready to go public, almost ruined Kade, and used Kendall, Lexie’s sister, to do it. Most recently, he’d tried to contact Kendall again, something all three men swore they wouldn’t let happen.

  “Speaking of dogs, you still haven’t explained why Oscar’s here. Not that I don’t like him, but you don’t normally bring him to the office,” Lucas said.

  “He’s here because Cassie likes him,” Derek admitted.

  “And you need to butter her up. Got it,” Lucas said, laughing.

  Derek turned to Kade, who remained silent on the subject of Cassie. “Did you say Kendall is walking dogs? Because if so, I need her phone number. Oscar’s walker quit.”

  “She’d love to do it. I’ll shoot you her info on your cell later.”

  “Thank you. And now, if you don’t mind…”

  “You want to be alone when Cassie gets here. Got it,” Lucas said. “We’d laugh at you except we can’t. We’ve been where you are.”

  “What? No. I’m not that—”

  “Involved?” Kade asked, glancing down at the dog who had never been to the office before.

  “Out!” Derek pointed to the door, and his friends left, laughing.

  A few minutes later, Becky announced Cassie’s arrival. Derek rose as the door opened, and she walked in, looking every inch the professional interviewer. From the way her hair was pulled up to the dark pencil skirt and heels and through to the white blouse, she was prim and proper—except for the hint of cleavage revealed by the open buttons. An enticing hint that had him licking his lips, the memory of her taste strong.

  “Good morning,” he said, walking around and meeting her by the door.

  “Good morning.” She smiled warily. He didn’t blame her. Their last parting hadn’t been a great one.

  No sooner had she spoken than Oscar heard her voice, jumped up, and greeted her with his bounding enthusiasm before flopping to the floor.

  “Hey, pal!” She knelt by his side to give him a belly rub.

  While she gave the dog attention, Derek shut the office door and locked them inside.

  “What’s Oscar doing here?” she asked, rising to her feet.

  He opted for the truth. “I thought he’d help me break the ice.”

  “Look, I know what I
said to you the other day, but the truth is, it’s not for me to dictate how you behave or what you say. It is for me to decide what I want to put up with. And—”

  “I’m sorry,” he said before she could tell him she didn’t want to see him outside of this extended interview.

  She blinked, long lashes fluttering over her big brown eyes. “You are?”

  “You’re not the only one who can admit when they were wrong.” He managed a smile. It wasn’t easy to swallow his pride. He wasn’t a man used to humbling himself for someone else.

  But she’d taught him the value of apologizing. Of what it meant to the person on the receiving end. He grasped her shoulders, wanting her to face him, to know he’d given this consideration.

  That he cared what she thought of him. “I’ve been sending you mixed signals, and that hasn’t been fair. It’s also not what I want for us. I don’t want the past between us. Hell, I don’t want anything between us.”

  Her mouth parted in a little O. “That’s … sweet,” she finally said.

  “You’re sweet.” He pulled her toward him and covered her lips with his.

  She gasped into his mouth, her hands coming up to grasp his forearms, and he braced himself for a hard shove away. Instead she curled her fingers, her nails digging into the fabric of his sweater. Her body softened, and she parted her lips, letting him in.

  His tongue swirled with hers, the taste of her filling him, not just his taste buds but his heart. Which he had to admit frightened him. But he held on to the here and now, the feel of her in his arms, her fragrant scent arousing him beyond belief. His dick hardened in his jeans, being hard as a rock a feeling he was getting used to around her.

  Her arms slid around his waist, and she tipped her head back, giving him deeper access to the depths of her mouth. She rose up on her toes, her kisses as ravenous for him as was his appetite for her.

  Woof.

  Growl.

  Woof.

  What started as an annoying sound ended with his big, hairy dog jumping on his hind legs, begging for attention from either adult.