Premonition
Page 38
“Your name?” The voice was like the power of galaxies.
“My name is called Ari the Kazan.”
“I have watched you long, Ari the Kazan. All your life, I have held you in my hand, and yet you have struggled against me. Do you wish to make a debate with me?”
Ari lowered his head. “No.”
Silence.
Ari dared to look up. “Yes.”
“Speak, then.” The sound of HaShem was like thunder, like music, like the smell of a woman’s hair, like the laughter of children, like the voices of men at prayer.
Ari did not know where to begin. Before the throne of HaShem, all the world seemed small.
“You wish to discuss the Problem of Evil with me, is that not correct?”
Ari nodded.
“Say on. I have had words with men on the matter before. But perhaps you have something new.”
Ari shook his head. “I have nothing to add.” He dared to look into the brightness of HaShem. “But have you something new? The Problem of Evil is not solved.”
Long silence.
“Are you familiar with Gödel’s Theorem, Ari the Kazan?”
“You know that I am.”
“Then you will appreciate that the Problem of Evil can be solved, but not in the language of men. There is a line in front of you. Do you see it?”
Ari saw it.
“That is the last line you must cross, my son. When you have crossed that line, you will no longer remember the language of men, but you will know the language of the World to Come. Then you will have words to speak with me more on this matter, and then you will understand. Do you wish to cross?”
Astonished, Ari raised his eyebrows. “I am permitted to choose?”
HaShem sighed. “Not in the ordinary course of things, Ari the Kazan. However, you have a most persistent friend. My son Baruch has persuaded me to give you a choice. I will give you now a taste of the World to Come, and I will show you one other thing, and then you will choose, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Close your eyes, Ari the Kazan. The glory of the World to Come would blind you otherwise.”
Ari closed his eyes.
“Are you ready, Ari the Kazan?”
“Yes.”
HaShem laughed.
An instant later, infinite joy pounded in Ari’s heart. Liquid laughter pulsed through his veins. A brightness like a thousand galaxies filled his soul, a brightness of being. Ari could put it no better than that—a brightness of being. Now he understood why HaShem laughed, because no mortal man could ever be ready for his first taste of the World to Come.
And then it was gone.
“It was good, Ari the Kazan, yes?”
“It was very good.”
“Now I will show you some things in the World That Is. You have seen these things all your life, and yet you have not seen them. You may open your eyes.”
Ari looked. He saw a cosmic vastness, a shining thing of aching beauty, a painting of many dimensions. Swiftly, he zoomed in, past a million galaxies until he reached a delicate pinwheeling galaxy of two hundred billion stars. To the edge of this galaxy he spiraled in, growing smaller and smaller. A white-yellow star appeared, and as he approached, his heart pounded with the perfect, impossible symmetry of its system. A pale blue dot expanded in his eyes to fill all his vision.
And there was the land of Yisrael, the Sea of Galilee, the Jordan.
Jerusalem, city of God.
Rage pulsed in its streets.
He saw joy also. Beauty. Kindness. Love. Men praying. Women nursing. Children laughing. Green grass, blue skies, red sunsets. Roasting meat, sharp cheese, cold beer.
“Ari the Kazan.”
The vision disappeared. Ari looked again into the face of HaShem.
“You are much disturbed by a world of senseless evil, yes?”
Ari nodded. “The Problem of Evil, yes.”
“I invite you then to ponder the Problem of Good. Senseless joy. Irrational love. Mindless beauty. Look on it and despair, Ari the Kazan!”
“I do not understand why this should be a problem.”
“Think on it, my friend.”
Ari stood silent a long time.
“There is a line in front of you. If you cross that line, I will explain to you the answer to the Problem of Evil and the Problem of Good. If you do not cross, there is a thing I would have you do. Do you wish to cross?”
“I will think on it.”
Rivka
* * *
For an hour, Rivka watched Baruch pray over Ari. Her heart felt full of fear, full of peace. HaShem would do what HaShem would do. Hana clung to Baruch and held Rivka’s hand.
At last, Baruch took his hands from Ari’s head and sighed deeply.
Rivka studied Baruch and Ari, hoping for a clue.
Hana massaged Baruch’s neck. “Will he live?”
Baruch shrugged. “I do not know. I have done all I could, but ... there is a line which I cannot approach, and he lingers there.”
Rivka put her hand on Ari’s forehead and her hopes sagged. “He is grown hotter.”
“Only trust in HaShem and wait.” Baruch stood up. “Hana, please, I must find Gamaliel. There is a matter I must discuss with him.”
They went out, leaving Rivka alone with Ari. She knelt beside him and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Ari the Kazan.”
Rivka
* * *
Some time later, Ari’s eyes flickered open, vague, unfocused. “No, I will not cross.”
Rivka gasped and leaned close. “What did you say?”
Ari shook his head. Slowly his eyes lost their dreamy look. “Rivkaleh.” He smiled. “It is good to be home. HaShem sends his greetings.”
Rivka was afraid something had ... happened to Ari’s mind. His fever had been so terribly high. “Ari, what are you talking about?”
Ari spent the fourth part of an hour telling her of his visit to the throne of HaShem.
Rivka clutched his hand. “Was it ... real?”
He smiled. “It is the only thing that is real.” His eyes probed her face. “You have something you wish to tell me.”
Rivka laid her head next to his and just cried. “Ari, I’ve been such an idiot about ... a lot of things. I’ve been so angry at you and HaShem and everybody else.”
Ari said nothing, only listened while she talked. And cried. And talked some more. When she was cried out, Ari stroked her hair softly.
She looked at him through bleary eyes. “I’m going to try to do better. Try to learn to listen for HaShem’s voice. Stop trying to save the universe. I’ve made such a mess of things so many times, trying to rush ahead of HaShem. Ahead of you. Can you forgive me for being such an ... obnoxious know-it-all?”
“Of course, Rivkaleh. It is part of your charm. HaShem also forgives you. But here is a matter akin to Gödel’s Theorem. Can Rivka forgive Rivka?”
Rivka stared at him, feeling strangely warmed, filled, cleansed. Ari had been to the throne. If HaShem said she was forgiven, then ... who was she to say she was not? She held Ari’s hand to her cheek. “You’ve changed, haven’t you? You sound like a ...” She wanted to say tsaddik, but he would call that foolishness.
Ari smiled as if he read her heart. “One does not return from the throne of HaShem unscathed. Yes, I am changed, but I have still far to walk, and the Problem of Evil is not solved.”
Rivka sighed deeply. “Do you have any idea what he meant by the Problem of Good?”
Ari shook his head. “It is enough for now to know that such a problem exists. I will think on it.”
“And I’ll think on it with you. But what about ... the thing he wants you to do?”
Ari’s face twitched. “I will know it when I see it, and perhaps not before.” He yawned. “Where are the children?”
“Still sleeping.”
“I will sleep now also, but when the children wake, you will bring them to me, please. I wish to see them. And Baruch and Hana also—all of
them together.”
“Sleep well, Ari the Kazan.”
He closed his eyes. “In the hands of HaShem.”
Baruch
* * *
Baruch stood at the gate of the palace, aching with joy and fear. His heart would break if—
There! Far up the street, Gamaliel appeared, running as if Hanan ben Hanan himself were on his heels.
Sister Rivka called from the palace. “Brother Baruch! The children are up and they’re waiting to see Ari!”
Baruch pretended he had not heard. Not yet, not yet.
Gamaliel raced nearer, and Baruch saw that he was smiling. He reached the palace gate, spoke to the guard, entered.
“Baruch!” Sister Rivka’s voice took on a shrill note. “We’re all waiting on you!”
Baruch strode to Gamaliel and kissed him. “I thank you, my brother.”
Gamaliel slipped something into Baruch’s belt. “Am I too late?”
“Almost.” Heart pounding, Baruch turned and ran.
Sister Rivka looked at Baruch with suspicion in her eyes. “What took you so long? Ari wanted to see us all together, and you’re holding us up.”
Baruch nodded meekly. “I beg forgiveness, Sister Rivka.”
They went into the palace. Hana stood outside Brother Ari’s room, shaking her head. “The children already went in.” She gave Baruch an accusing look. “Where have you been?”
Baruch merely shrugged. He had not told her his business with Gamaliel.
They all entered Brother Ari’s room. The children lay on the bed, clutching him, laughing, shouting, squealing, bouncing. Baruch saw the life in Ari’s face, and deep joy warmed his heart.
“Abba!” Rachel patted Brother Ari’s beard. “I knew you would come back, Abba! I knew it!”
Brother Ari held her tight. “Yes, my Racheleh, you had much to do with the matter.”
Sister Rivka knelt beside Brother Ari and kissed his forehead. “Blessed be HaShem.”
Dov pounded on Brother Ari’s chest for attention. “Uncle Ari! Rachel and I made a new game! Come play it with us!”
Brother Ari smiled. “Not just yet, my friend.”
“Brother Ari ...” Baruch stopped. He felt his honor rising up inside him yet again, a mighty fist strangling his voice. He must speak now, or his courage would fail. “Brother Ari, there is a ... business matter to discuss.”
Brother Ari’s eyes narrowed. “Business? On Shabbat?”
Sister Rivka leaned back and stared at him. “Really, Baruch! At a time like this? Can’t it wait until—”
Dizzy with fear, Baruch shook his head. “With respect, Sister Rivka, no, it cannot wait.” He took a small packet out of his belt and began opening it. His hands trembled. He walked to the side of Ari’s bed.
Dov stood up on the bed. “What is it, Abba? Is it for me?”
Baruch felt a great heat fill his heart. “Yes, it is on account of you.”
The fist squeezed Baruch again, but now ... it had no hold.
Baruch slowly shook out five coins into Ari’s hand. “Ari the Priest, I choose ... to redeem my son from you. Here are the five shekels for his redemption.”
He held out both arms to Dov.
Joy filled Dov’s shining eyes. He leaped into Baruch’s arms. “Abba!”
“My son ...” Baruch’s voice cracked and he could not see because of his tears. He kissed Dov’s cheek.
His son’s skin felt cool to the touch.
Continue the Adventure…
Want to know what happens next?
Read the continuing adventures of Ari and Rivka in Retribution, the third book in the City of God series. Rivka knows that war is coming in the spring of the year A.D. 66. But how can Rivka persuade anyone to leave their homes … when nobody believes a word she says?
Click here to check out Retribution.
If You Enjoyed This Book…
A note from Rivka and Ari: “Word-of-mouth is the most powerful marketing force in the universe. If you enjoyed reading our adventures in Premonition, we’d appreciate you rating this book and leaving a review. Even if you write only a sentence or two, it will help.”
Click here to visit the review page for Premonition.
Thank you so much! We appreciate you!
About the Author
Randy Ingermanson got his Ph.D. in theoretical physics from the University of California at Berkeley.
For no good reason, Randy would rather make up stories about imaginary people than do honest work. This is a serious character defect, but he’s not a bit sorry.
If you’d like to get an e-mail alert whenever Randy has a new book out, or whenever he’s running an especially good deal on one of his books, then feel free to sign up here:
* * *
RandyIngermanson.com
Copyright © 2003, Randall Ingermanson
All rights reserved.
* * *
First edition, Zondervan, 2003
Second edition, Ingermanson Communications, Inc., 2014, Ingermanson.com
Cover design by Damonza.com
ISBN: 978-1-937031-09-1
Created with Vellum
Standard Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, corporations, and government entities are either entirely imaginary or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, corporations, or government entities is just a coincidence and doesn't mean a blessed thing.
Glossary
Abba: Papa.
Amidah: Literally, “standing.” A traditional daily prayer of nineteen separate benedictions, chanted while standing. Often called “the Eighteen Benedictions.”
Apikoros: Renegade. May be a Hebrew transliteration of “Epicurean.”
Bat Kol: Literally, “daughter of a voice.” An audible voice from heaven.
Cohen: Priest.
Consilium: A judicial advisory board in the Roman Empire.
Dinar: The “denarius” of the New Testament. Nominally a day’s wage for a working man, enough to feed twelve people for a day.
Goy: Gentile. Plural, goyim.
HaDerech: Literally, “The Way.” Name of the earliest Jesus movement in Jerusalem.
HaShem: Literally, “The Name.” Used instead of “God” out of respect for his holiness.
Hanukkah: Feast of Hanukkah, usually in December.
Haredim: Literally, “Tremblers.” Ultra-orthodox Jews in modern Israel.
Hasidism: A branch of Orthodox Judaism with a strong emphasis on emotion and mysticism.
Havurah: A fellowship of Pharisees in ancient Yisrael.
Imma: Mama.
Ishah: Woman, wife.
Issah: Literally, “mixture.” Priestly families whose legitimacy was questioned. It was forbidden for a priest to marry a woman of an issah family.
Kadosh: Holy.
Koine: Literally, “common.” The common Greek used in the New Testament.
Lepton: The smallest copper coin, the “widow’s mite” of the New Testament. Plural: lepta. 128 lepta made one dinar.
Lubavitcher: A sect of modern Hasidic Jews centered around a family of holy men from Lubavitch, in Lithuania.
Mamzer: Bastard.
Mashiach: Messiah.
Matzah: Unleavened bread eaten at Passover.
Meshugah: Crazy.
Mezuzah: Literally, “doorpost.” A small case attached to a doorframe, containing a tiny scroll with certain biblical passages inscribed.
Mikveh: Ritual bath.
Minyan: A quorum, ten men, the minimum required for daily prayers.
Nazir: Nazirite. One who takes a vow to abstain from the fruit of the grapevine and from cutting the hair. The vow could be either temporary or lifelong.
Pesach: Passover, usually falling in March or April.
Pidyon ha’ben: Ceremony of redemption of the firstborn son, as required in Exodus 13:11-15.
Rabban: Literally, “Our great one.” Applied to a very few rabbis—Gamaliel, Shimon ben Gamaliel, Gama
liel II, and Yohanan ben Zakkai. In view of John 20:16, it is plausible that Jesus of Nazareth was called Rabban Yeshua.
Ro’ah: Seer woman.
Rosh HaShanah: The New Year, usually in September.
Sagan: Captain of the Temple guards, second only to the high priest in the Temple.
Sandak: Godfather.
Sandakit: Godmother.
Savta: Grandma.
Shabbat: Sabbath.
Shalom: “Peace.” Used as a greeting and a goodbye.
Shavuot: The Feast of Pentecost, falling in May or June.
Sheol: In Jewish tradition, the shadowy world inhabited by the dead awaiting resurrection.
Shofar: A ram’s horn, blown at festivals.
Sh’ma: Literally, “Hear!” Traditional daily prayer affirming the Oneness of God.
Sukkot: The Feast of Tabernacles, falling in September or October.
Talent: A unit of weight, variously estimated between about sixty and a hundred pounds. A silver talent was 10,000 dinars, a lifetime’s wage for a working man.
Tallit: Prayer shawl. Worn draped over the head and shoulders during prayers.
Tefillin: Phylacteries. Small leather boxes containing Torah inscriptions, worn during daily prayers (and all day by the pious), but not on Shabbat or other holy days.
Tsaddik: Literally, “Righteous one.” Used among modern Jews of exceptionally holy men.
Tunica: The standard tunic worn by a Roman woman.
Tzitzit: Ritual fringes, made with blue and white twisted thread.
Yisrael: Israel.
Zonah: Prostitute. Plural, zonot.
Historical Characters
The following characters are based on real historical persons. With some, I took a fair bit of literary license. Rivka’s comments on each should be understood as the conventional judgment of history, when that differs from my presentation in the story. Spellings for each name have been chosen from Latin, Greek, Hebrew, or English as seemed appropriate.