The Rose Thief

by Claire Buss

  'Well done catcher, you have found point of entry. Now tell me something I don't already know.'

  'Do you know how we got here?'

  'I imagine you walked to the main reception area, announced yourself and were led to the gate.'

  'As a matter of fact we popped here. My sprite knew exactly where the rose garden gate was so we came right to it. I take it we didn't trip any alarms so not only do we have a suspected warlock with a penchant for roses, he also seems to have access to fae magic and a map of the Palace.'

  The Upper Circle stared at Ned for a long while.

  'I want him found.'

  'Yes, Your Excellency.'

  She looked at him, eyes lidded in thought as if deciding whether or not to execute him and have him replaced with yet another useless lackey.

  'May you live for ever and ever?' Ned volunteered. Anything was worth a shot after being looked at like that.

  Jenni interrupted them by shoving a handful of mulch up towards their noses. They both recoiled at the intense smell.

  'Smells like that uver shite I was telling you about, Boss.'

  'The Emperor's rose garden is one of a kind, there are no other mulches in the city specific to our roses. I, that is, the Emperor owns the recipe.'

  'Rightchoya.' Jenni winked impishly. Quite difficult for a sprite.

  Jenni had balled the mulch up and was bouncing it up and down in her hand. Small flakes of muck were drifting off and catching the faint breeze that danced through the garden. Ned noted with some satisfaction that they seemed attracted to the Emperor's – sorry Upper Circle's – robes.

  'I knows what I nose you know? This is the same as that uver stuff and this has been brought 'ere recently. It hasn't squished in with the other lot – see?' Jenni pointed to a faint difference in brown in the soil below.

  'So, we have a suspected warlock, replacement mulch and borrowed fae magic. I imagine this gives you plenty to work with, Thief-Catcher?'

  Ned nodded absently, he was thinking about the poison tracks they'd seen earlier. When Jenni coughed and stamped on his foot he realised he should have replied.

  'Yes, right, great. Lots of leads to follow.' He paused then looked directly at the Upper Circle. 'I take it we can gather a mulch sample and discuss what we saw here today, with the rest of the thief-catchers I mean? It will make solving the case difficult otherwise.' Ned cleared his throat, he might as well try and save his neck, while he was here. In for a penny and all that. 'And if it's not too much to ask, Ma'am, could I also have a time extension? We've got about twenty hours left and I'd hate for my torture to pull valuable resources away from catching this criminal.'

  The Upper Circle nodded imperceptibly.

  Jenni produced a plastic bag from somewhere and put in a sample of the intruder mulch, then the two of them made their way back along the winding pathways to the doorway. On exiting through another blue shimmer Jenni popped them straight back to the office where they walked into a full blown argument.

  Chapter 7

  'You didn't even read that file.'

  'It can't help us.'

  'How do you know? The boss said to read everything on the warlock. I can't do it all by myself.'

  'Well, you could always ask that creeping vine we keep cutting back to help you turn the pages.'

  'I might ask it to turn you – inside out!'

  Ned walked in to find Willow armed with several creepers and pulsing slightly, standing in the centre of a pile of open files while Joe lounged in a chair in the corner.

  'What's going on?' Ned glared at the two of them.

  'He won't help me read the files.' Willow began explaining but Ned hushed her and looked at Joe.

  'Well?'

  Joe tried to avoid Ned's gaze and mumbled into his shoes. 'I think I know who the warlock is. I guessed at the crime scene but...'

  'What? But what? Speak up!'

  'It's complicated.'

  'Uncomplicate it. And for Gods' sake, Willow, disarm that greenery!' barked Ned.

  Joe smirked as Willow jumped guiltily and let go of the twirling creepers that were beginning to take over most of the office. Without her grip on them they withered and shrank, snaking out of the window and returning to their usual climbing vine status on the side of The Noose.

  'Who do you think it is then Joe?' Ned asked.

  'It's my sister. Twin actually.' He flushed. 'Now you know.'

  There was a stunned silence. It wasn't possible for twin spell-casters to exist, one always drained the other of power in the womb. But twin warlocks. They were possible.

  Ned tried in vain to pull some power into his wiped caster wells.

  'So that makes you...'

  'A warlock by birth, yes, but look...' Joe raised his hands in defence. 'I practise as a spell-caster. I don't have any real power anyway. So I learnt my art the spell-caster way. I'm no threat at all – honest.'

  He still hadn't moved from the chair yet all his dopiness had vanished, revealing a much more intelligent looking Joe. Ned made a quick decision. He had no juice so there was nothing he could do personally.

  'Jenni, bind him. Fetch me a truth-catcher.'

  Jenni had reacted instantly and Joe was lashed to the chair tightly but then she hesitated. 'Is a truth-catcher wot we need, Boss?'

  'Yes. Go!' He turned to glare at Joe. 'You lied to me. What else haven't you told us?' Ned was interrupted by Sparks buzzing round his head. 'Yes, yes I know – you haven't reported yet but can't it wait? I'm having a slight crisis here.'

  Sparks flashed twice for no so Ned sighed, made sure Joe was secure and went to find the firefly communicator from the cupboard. He tried to avoid using it in front of other people. He strapped himself into the fake firefly tail attachment. It was rather snug upon the groin area and made things appear... well, made everything look a lot more. Once attached, the fae magic that made the translator work started glowing so that he now looked like an oversized firefly with his very own light bulb on his butt.

  'Boss, yes Boss. I went to the docks like you said Boss. Not much there but fish Boss. Stinks Boss.'

  'Stay on topic, Sparks.'

  'Boss, yes Boss. I found Two-Face Bob's office Boss. Been ransacked Boss. Nothing left Boss. His goons gone Boss. Just a load of dried dung balls Boss. Smells like you Boss. No offence Boss.'

  Ned frowned then remembered the sample they'd collected from the Rose Gardens. So now they knew Two-Face Bob had been involved in supplying the different mulch and had clearly been killed for it. But not his Boss, Fat Norris. So either Two-Face was working a side line and Fat Norris knew nothing about it. Or Fat Norris had hired the warlock himself to murder his own henchman, which to be fair to the big man was unlikely. Fat Norris was more a believer in thug control than magical means - he felt more people could relate to it. And anyway, why did Fat Norris want a load of roses? It didn't make sense. Sparks was fizzing, waiting for Ned to respond.

  'Well done, Sparks. Anything else?'

  'Boss, no Boss.'

  Ned hurriedly removed the translator and placed it back in the cupboard. In the middle of the room, Willow was looking forlorn as she sat in the midst of the paperwork Neeps had provided. Her hair had dropped and looked like it was weeping as it hung round her face.

  'Willow – what did you find?'

  She perked up at being asked, after all she had been working hard the entire time and reading wasn't a nymph's strong point.

  'Neeps was right, there have been other attacks. Elongoo City lost their collection of shooting stars and Molotov no longer has a wine river – all their grapes were violated. Same red spiky power residue at all the crime scenes. The files are full of speculation about warlock attack but no actual evidence of who or what.'

  'Right, and this red power signature, that's what we saw today at Two-Face Bob's murder. And again in the Rose Garden.' Ned glared at Joe. 'So it seems like this warlock is probably Two-Face Bob's murderer as well. Looks like your sister has some serious explaining to
do.'

  Before Joe had chance to respond the door crashed open and Jenni came through with the Palace's truth-catcher. It was the Upper Circle. Wonderful. Not only did Ned not have time to protect Joe, if he decided he was going to, now he had to contend with the bloody Emperor herself, standing in The Noose!

  'Er.'

  It wasn't Ned's best conversation opener but it seemed to do the trick. Joe sat bolt upright in his chair, eyes widening and all pretence of being self confident had vanished in an instance. Sparks was hovering by his shelf, butt flashing in excitement or possibly fear. Willow had gone a nasty shade of puce, which, considering she usually had a greenish tinge about her was rather unsettling. Jenni looked extremely pleased with herself.

  'I fawt you'd want the best, Boss, so I got 'er.' She jabbed a thumb up at the Upper Circle who stood demurely in the doorway, her circular headdress obscuring any of the tell-tale features Ned had seen earlier. He decided to play it safe.

  'Welcome to TCHQ your roundness. Thank you for coming so promptly. If I could just have a word privately?'

  'There's no time for that.' The Upper Circle's voice was so melodious Ned's eyes narrowed slightly, she sounded far too calm. 'I am the truth-seeker and I shall seek what truths are hidden. Is this the boy?'

  Ned nodded mutely and Joe looked scared half to death. He was pressed as far back into the chair as possible and looked like he would break bones to pass through it if he were able.

  'Don't you see it?' he whimpered.

  Ned shook his head then caught a strange whiff of something. It smelt like the enchanted mulch they'd seen in the Rose Garden, only worse. He checked his boots – nope, not him. Jenni smelt unique but this was different, he was sure this wasn't her. He squinted at the Upper Circle and noticed something out of place, there – the soil which had floated away on the breeze landing on her robes in the Rose Garden was still there but now it had coagulated into a large muddy patch. Tentacles seemed to be waving back and forth and was that... an eye? Ned muttered an apology as he leant forward to inspect the muck closer and brushed the Upper Circle's arm. Instantly he was flooded with power, he felt like he'd run ten thousand miles and could easily run ten thousand more. His heart was thudding in his chest and every sense was heightened. The mud splat still stank but now he could see the spiky red power running through the whole thing. It was also emanating a slight grey miasma and had leached all the colour from that part of the Upper's robe. Ned acted without thought and snatched the robe off the Upper. He prayed for sensible clothing. He was slightly disappointed.

  Instead of diaphanous trousers and belly tops in sheer fabric that he always supposed nubile young women in the Palace wore, she was dressed in plain yet close fitting dark trousers and tunic. It left nothing to the imagination but the imagination still had to work pretty hard as the nondescript clothing took away any femininity she might have had. The Upper stiffened at the loss of her cloak but her circular headdress remained undisturbed. Now that the cloak had been removed the mud stopped pretending to be mud and started to fizz loudly. Ned dropped the clothing in alarm and the magic mud dissolved a hole in the cloak. The brown muck transformed fully into bright red gunk with even more tentacles questing for nearby prey. It was so acidic that the air burnt making everyone's eyes sting and the backs of their throats tingle. The blob was a little too zealous for its own good and quickly eroded the floorboard, falling through to The Noose below. There was a sharp yell and then a lot of swearing.

  Ned and Jenni ran out the door and hurtled down the stairs, speed carrying them over the dodgy parts of the staircase. The red goo had evolved once more, this time into a mist that was rapidly leaving The Noose through the wall. It was taking bits of the wall with it. Bright light shone into the dingy corners of the pub making it look even more filthy and rundown. Loyal patrons blinked in surprise then turned back to nursing their drinks. Reg threw a vile look at Ned.

  'Extra.'

  Ned nodded mutely and he and Jenni returned slowly upstairs, Ned thinking furiously. It must have been some residual warlock magic awakened due to its proximity to Joe. Thank the Gods he hadn't taken the lad with him to the Rose Garden - who knew what might have happened?

  When they got back into the office, the Upper Circle was sitting in front of Joe, who had his eyes closed and face screwed up in pain. There was a soft glowing nimbus of power around them and Willow was idly plaiting her hair, trying not to look in wonder at a truth-catcher at work.

  'I see you started without me.' Ned wondered if he could stall for time. 'There's no need. New evidence has been brought to light...'

  The Upper Circle interrupted. 'It was the least I could do. You saved my life so now I'm returning the favour.' She was focusing intently on Joe.

  'I hardly think questioning Joe is saving my life.'

  'What if Joe is not his real name? Did you know that his mind is full of a compulsion web? It forces him to follow someone – what else does it make him do? Did they put it there or was it someone else? These are all dangerous questions we must get to the bottom of – if he is connected to the Rose Thief I want to know why he's stealing my roses!' The Upper Circle realised her error and tried to speak more calmly. 'I've not seen a web like this before, it extends deep into his psyche and can't be removed without killing him. But perhaps it will provide us a direct link to the thief.'

  Ignoring Ned, her power flared, making a crackling noise and shooting out blue sparks but before she could do anything Ned sent a bolt of his own magic directly into her ear. It made her gasp in surprise, dropping the spell she'd been weaving.

  'What are you doing?' she hissed, turning on Ned.

  'I'm not letting you murder one of mine.' Despite the magical sparks flying, Ned refused to back down.

  'I wasn't going to murder him, at least not intentionally.' The Upper Circle smoothed her trousers. 'I was merely going to send back a power jolt to the person behind that compulsion.'

  She turned back to complete her spell but Joe had vanished. So had Jenni. Ned tried to look as innocent as possible, helped by the fact that Willow was stunned. Her mouth gaped and tendrils started growing out. She quickly bit them off and started blushing but the effect helped Ned to consolidate his surprise.

  'What have you done?' he yelled.

  'Me? What did you do?' The Upper Circle rounded on him once more, her usually calm eyes flashing in anger. 'Where did you send him? I know you re-fuelled, I felt your clumsy touch and allowed you some power as a thanks for your service. Where is he?'

  Jenni began whistling innocently in the corner of the room. The Upper Circle frowned. She hadn't been there before.

  'You,' she began and whirled to confront the sprite. Big mistake. Jenni started to grow, becoming not only taller but wider, uglier, and smellier. Soon she filled the corner of the room and the ceiling began to creak under the strain of her towering mass. The Upper Circle let out a scream of frustration and swept out of the office. In the next instant Jenni was back to normal size although her extra large smell lingered.

  'Where's Joe?' asked Ned.

  'Safe. In the glade, innit – bawling like a baby but he'll be awright. Momma K will look after 'im.'

  Ned winced. Momma K was unique. Her version of looking after could be something as simple as a hot meal and a bed for the night. More often than not it involved some kind of mental or physical test as she helped you realise the solution to a problem you did not know you had. Most people avoided Momma K. They were happy being ignorant to their character flaws. Ned had been several times. He was not overly keen to return. He always ended up wanting to stay.

  Chapter 8

  Leaving Willow and Sparks to man the office, Ned took Jenni with him to go and see Momma K. Jenni had offered to pop him there but Ned's body already felt like it had been through the washer, the ringer and left to dry, pegged out on the line in a gale. He felt the walk would do him more harm than good but he needed to clear his head a little. Plus there were a few power wells on the way a
nd now seemed like an excellent time to replenish. His stomach rumbled.

  'Can we go via Aggie's?' Ned didn't bother to check if Jenni was following. At the thought of one of Aggie's warm cinnamon spiced bread twists his feet had made up their mind, that was the way they were walking no matter what. He clocked some Palace Guards looking highly conspicuous on a nearby corner, out of uniform but in the cleanest street garb he'd ever seen. Let them follow him, he wasn't going to tell them anything they didn't already know. Aggie's was the best bakery in town. There was, as expected, a queue out the door – it was nearly the end of the day so portions got generous and more often than not the beggar children left with double their own weight in odds and ends. Aggie was a waste not kind of baker, more interested in taste than appearance, so every scrap of dough was worked and baked. It made her creations unique and much loved. Ned squeezed through the doorway and waited by the counter for Aggie to notice him. She had, as per usual, a cloud of flour permanently circling her, like her own personal brand of halo, strangely her usual cheerful demeanour was gone. This was a cross and snappy Aggie. She started to swear about folks cutting the line, then she saw who it was.