“You never need an excuse to kiss me,” I whisper back, lost in his world yet again. If the rest of my life is shitty as hell, I will always look back on this moment and feel complete.
“Before you two start going at it again, I need to say something, too,” Dad says. We turn toward him and wait to hear what he has to say. “I think I speak for all of the parents when I say that it’s about goddamn time you two got together.”
Gayle and George nod their heads vigorously at Dad’s statement. What?
“What do you mean it’s about time?” I ask, settling into Seth’s side. Dad has never talked about Seth and me before. In fact none of them have, but I feel like I’m the only one out of the loop.
“He means that we’ve been taking bets for the past thirteen years on when you two would come out with your feelings,” Gayle says sitting back and reaching out to hold George’s hand tenderly.
“You two have had that connection y’all have since you were eleven years old, so we started betting on when it would really happen,” George pipes in.
“We thought it may have happened a few summers ago, but you two kept sneaking it,” Dad chimes in. There’s a little bit of sadness in his eyes, and I can tell he’s thinking about Daddy.
“What about Daddy?” Daddy wanted things to work between me and Blake, so this doesn’t make much sense to me. Seth’s arm tightens around my shoulders and he kisses the top of my head.
“Well he would’ve won,” Dad says, sadly. “He always said it would be around this time, and he said before he died that he thought it would happen whenever Seth came back. We all thought it would have happened a couple years ago, but Daddy knew how stubborn you are.”
To say I’m shocked is not an accurate description of what I’m feeling. I look up to Seth, and he has a regretful smile on his face.
“You don’t seem surprised by this,” I accuse. He looks down at me and grins.
“They’ve all known how I felt for a while now. You’re the only one who didn’t know.”
“Daddy?” I ask, completely shocked by this new information.
“We talked a lot while I was away,” he admits, rubbing his thumb across my shoulder. I turn away, trying to process this new information.
I kept us apart for so long. I was too stubborn to accept my feelings after I caught him with another girl, never wanting to feel that pain again, and they’ve all been waiting on me to admit how I felt about him.
“Hey,” Seth says softly, trying to pull me out of my anxieties. I just don’t know what to feel. “Jos, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“I feel so stupid.” I never had to hide anything. I could have been straightforward this whole time, and we would never have had to waste those years apart. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else. I wouldn’t have barricaded my feelings and chosen someone else over Seth. I wouldn’t have used Seth in order to make myself feel better. If I hadn’t been so stupid and if I had been honest, then I wouldn’t be so broken.
“I didn’t come out with it right away either, Pussy Cat. We both fucked up.”
“Yeah… we’ve been telling Seth he done screwed up for the past few years, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it,” George reassures. Seth nods his head and smirks at me. I still don’t know what to say, and I have so many questions.
“So everyone’s okay with this?” I ask everyone at the table. I thought for sure this wouldn’t go over well, but they all seem to be thrilled.
“More than okay, Josie,” Gayle answers with a smile. I look over at Dad and I try to ask the silent question that has me worried. I don’t want to disappoint Daddy, and now he’s not here to give me his blessing. Why would he work so hard to get me to tell Blake the truth if he was hoping that Seth and I would get together? That makes no sense.
“Trust me, Josie Bean. This is what Daddy wanted all along,” Dad says softly, understanding my need to make sure I don’t let him down. “You should read some of those messages those two sent back and forth.” He nods in Seth’s direction and I look back up to him.
Anxiety fills my chest, making it harder to breathe. This is too much. Seth and I just worked things out. I finally let him in last night, so it’s overwhelming to think about how everyone wanted this for us all along. Who’s to say Seth will still want to be with me a week from now? The chase is over, so his interest might deplete, too.
“We’ll see you guys later.” I hear Seth vaguely as my mind fuzzes in worry. I can feel the panic attack starting, but I can’t stop it. I feel someone grab my arm, and guide me across the room and out the door.
“Breathe, Josie…,” Seth’s calm voice gushes over me. I try to listen, but my breathing is still quick and unsteady. “There you go, baby. Deep breaths.”
Seth keeps me wrapped in his arms, rocking me while I try to shake the fear that just consumed my thoughts. I keep trying to take bigger gulps of air, and eventually it’s not as difficult as it was.
“What happens if this doesn’t work out?” I ask into his chest. “Everyone’s going to hate me. What if one day you don’t want me anymore? Then I’m left without my best friend and I’ve let everyone down. I don’-,”
“Shut the hell up, Jos. You think I’ve been fighting for you for over five years just to let you go? Are you fucking crazy? I know everything about you. I know that you love chocolate chips in your popcorn. I know you hate when I leave my shoes in the middle of your hall. I know you have this annoying ass habit of picking your teeth after you eat. I know you have this adorable habit of making the bed perfectly before you lay down in it for the night. Nothing you do will make me want to leave.” His eyes are fierce as hell as he looks at me. “Unless you don’t want me. Then that’s different. So if you don’t want me, then let me know.”
He lets go of me and takes a step back, jaw clenching in irritation. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I see pain clear in his face. “No! Seth, that’s not what I want. I want you. I’m yours, I promise… I’m just…”
“Scared,” he finishes for me. He walks back up to me, until I’m up against the house. “I get it. It terrifies me to think that you may not want me, but you’re feeling the same things I’m feeling when we’re together. This thing we have, it’s not just some random fling. People spend their lives waiting to find something like what you and I have. I know you feel it too, Jos.”
I do. I absolutely do. Last night I was so inundated with love for him, I couldn’t stop the tears after he made love to me.
“I do, Seth. It’s never felt so right like it is with you. It just was a lot to take in. I can’t believe everyone knew about us hooking up!”
“You’re not as quiet as you think you are,” he says, grinning impishly.
“You talked to my dad?” I ask delicately. This is the part that really threw me off. Seth leans down and kisses the side of my mouth.
“Yes,” he says tenderly. “I needed to know about you, but I was trying so hard to stop loving you. I couldn’t tell you how miserable I was, so I talked to your dad. I can show you the emails sometime if you want.”
“Really?” I ask, tears building. Why the fuck am I so emotional? He nods his head and cups my cheek. He brings his mouth to mine to kiss me softly. He pulls back again and his blue green eyes are sparkling with the same delight he had earlier.
“And before you ask, ask your Dad those questions about why Will wanted you to tell Blake about the abortion. I know you want his approval, so talk to your Dad about that.”
“How…,” I gape at him in shock. “How do you know about that? What the fuck is going on here?” He chuckles and wraps his arms around me, lifting me off the ground.
“I don’t divulge those kinds of secrets, Pussy Cat.” He kisses me before I’m able to say anything else. I feel us moving, so I wrap my legs around his waist, and hold on tightly to the man I’ve given my complete trust, love, and soul. His hands tangle through my hair and holds me to him. I let go of all my anxieties and let myself have this moment with
Seth.
Seth’s saving me from my own self-destruction and making me realize that I don’t have to do this alone any longer. I slip my tongue in his mouth and massage his tongue with mine. He’s so fucking sexy. His hands cup my ass, groping me while he walks us toward his room.
“I… love… you…. So… freaking much…,” I say in between kisses, holding his face in my hands. He moans against my mouth, and I feel us climbing up the stairs. Never breaking contact with me, Seth brings us into his room and enters his bathroom. He turns on the shower, and climbs in.
“What are you doing?” I ask, pulling away and panting.
“’Bout to fuck you in the shower, what does it look like I’m doin’,” he says, slamming his mouth back down to mine. I love it when he’s turned on, because he always has a thicker southern drawl when he talks to me. Sexy as hell.
Our clothes get drenched and our lips are slippery from the intense kiss and the shower, and it turns me on even more. He sets my feet down and I kick off my shoes. He lifts my arms up and takes off the shirt I have on, throwing it on the floor with a loud thud. I reach back and take off my bra, eyes focused on his. His hands are on me the instant the bra is off, groping my tits and pinching my nipples. I have small breasts, but Seth acts like they’re the sexiest tits he’s ever seen.
His calloused, rough hands feel incredible on my wet, smooth skin and leave a spark of electricity as they run down my stomach, making me feel energized and alive. He reaches the band of the shorts I’m wearing and he slides them down my legs. He kneels down front of me, completely engrossed in my body. Before I know what’s happening, Seth grabs my thighs and uses his strength to lift me up and push me against the wall. My legs rest on his shoulders as his mouth moves to the apex of my thighs.
“Oh! Fuck…,” I moan as his tongue slips inside of me. Oh my god, his tongue. He circles my insides and then moves his head so he’s tongue fucking my cunt. When he feels satisfied that he’s got me worked up enough, he moves his mouth to my clit and takes slow savory licks at it. I keep one hand in his hair, and the other on the railing in the shower while I grind myself against his tongue. He caresses my clit in delicate and savory circles, hardening his tongue so there’s the perfect amount of pressure against me.
My hips move faster as we work harder to satisfy the roar crashing inside me. My moans escalate, and then a scream escapes my lips when his rough fingers fuck me.
“Seth,” I breathe, so close to the tip of my orgasm. “Fuck yes, right there…” He doesn’t relent with his tongue after I tell him exactly where it feels good. I hold my breath and start to shake as I reach the peak, and then slump against the wall as the orgasm makes my insides quiver. I close my eyes seeing a bright white light and revel in the beautiful numbness that I’m feeling.
“Hold on, Pussy Cat,” Seth rumbles next to my ear. I don’t know when he got up, or when he wrapped my legs around his waist, but I don’t care. He plunges his thick cock inside of me and fucks me against the wall, squeezing my thighs tightly. My pussy is wet from my come, the shower, and the sexy way Seth licked me, making the length of him slip in and out of me easily.
I hold onto his shoulders as my backs slides against the wall, enjoying how my head hits against it from him driving into me so roughly.
“Fuck, Jos… you feel so fucking good,” he groans into my neck. He bites my pulse and sucks it into his mouth, making me moan loader. “You’re fucking mine. You don’t have to be scared anymore,” he says huskily, pulling back and looking into my eyes. There’s so much earnest in his eyes, and I believe him completely.
“I’m yours. Don’t leave me,” I beg, breathily.
“Never,” he says harshly before kissing me vehemently. His hand moves to my center, and he flicks my clit repeatedly while he slides in and out of me. It’s like there’s a fire building in the pit of my stomach, it feels incredible, but it hurts from the need to be extinguished. I start to tremble, no longer able to hold back from the way he makes my body feel.
I feel Seth’s hand in my wet hair, tugging on it until I open my eyes to him again. He’s close too. His eyes are a salacious blue, the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. There was a point in my life when I went to him to show me how it felt to be loved, but I never felt the intensity of it until now. He’s so in love with me.
“Say it,” he beseeches, slowing down his pace until I say it.
“I’m so in love with you, Seth.”
“Mmmm…,” he groans, speeding up again until we are both shaking from the powerful orgasm. “I fucking love you, Josie.”
* * *
I giggle when I feel his mouth on my neck again.
“Seth! That is not doing work!” I exclaim, unwilling to pull away from his mouth.
“This can be my new job,” he murmurs, tightening his arm around my waist.
“Mmm… you’d rather kiss me than edit naked pics of sexy women?”
“Any day, all day. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen, anyway. No comparison.” I pull away when he starts sucking on my neck again. I turn around and narrow my eyes.
“Stop giving me hickeys. I’m going to get fired, if you don’t stop.” He grins wickedly and kisses my mouth, pulling my top lip between his lips. I groan again, bewildered that he’s able to distract me so easily.
We’ve been inseparable for the past week, but I haven’t tired of being with him for one single moment. When I’m at school, all I can think about is getting home- well to his house- and being wrapped in his arms. I daydream about everything he does to me and what he plans on doing to me later. I look forward to every morning text with a new message revealing another thing he loves about me, and I look even more forward to the midday text telling me what he wants to do to me when I get home. It’s a little awkward having a lady boner going on when I’m in the middle of teaching elementary students.
The love I harbor for Seth is unreal. It consumes me. I feel it draped around my heart and soul and it blankets me with a peace I never thought I deserved. I loved Blake, I really did, but there’s no comparison to what I feel when I’m with Seth. When he makes love to me slowly and passionately, I tear up from the overpowering magnitude of love in the moment.
“But they look so sexy on your pretty neck,” he says huskily, pulling away and looking at my neck with longing.
I’m sitting in his lap in a lounge chair at the back of Mrs. Woodward’s bookstore, Reading Haven, trying to read, but he keeps distracting me. I told him I wanted to get some reading in after I ran some errands, so he said he’d come with me and do some work. That’s not quite going as we planned.
“Yeah… you’re the only one who thinks it’s sexy.” I hide my grin by turning away so I can get back to my Kindle. He snatches it from my hand and tilts me back so he can attack my neck again.
“That’s a fucking lie. I saw you smiling at that one I made on your ass yesterday.” I giggle, remembering how he caught me checking out my ass in the mirror.
“That’s my ass, not my neck. I’m not showing my ass to anyone but you.” He pulls up and looks at me, eyes glinting with humor.
“You better fucking not be,” he says seriously, even though I know he knows I wouldn’t do that.
“Well...,” I tease. His eyes harden and he grips my hands to hold them still while he brings his mouth back down to my neck. He sucks on my throat hard while I giggle and try to wriggle out of his grip. He pulls back and cocks his head to the side while observing my new mark.
“That should work,” he says with a shrug. He looks back up to me and I purse my lips, looking at him as if I’m angry. “Don’t look at me like that, Pussy Cat. Just claiming what’s mine.”
“Next you’ll be tattooing my skin with your name,” I joke, trying to grab my Kindle back. He pulls it back and smiles.
“Now that’s a great idea.” I roll my eyes, and he laughs. He sobers up and brushes my hair back, looking at me affectionately. “Only mark that perfect skin when you’re sure about
what you want, pretty girl.”
“I was thinking about an apple pie,” I deadpan.
“Good choice. Can’t wait to see it.” He kisses my cheek, and I melt into his arms again.
“I love you,” I whisper for the hundredth time today.
“Never gets old,” he whispers back, kissing me sweetly. We make out like teenagers in the back of the bookstore, no longer interested in the work we were trying to get finished, and simply enjoy each other.
When we finally break away, lust is palpable in the air around us. I would take him right here, if I wasn’t so nervous about getting caught. I burrow into his chest, and listen to his breathing and heartbeat while he plays with my hair.
“I love you, Pussy Cat,” he says quietly. I smile and soften into him even more. He’s right, it doesn’t get old. “Your dad texted me and asked if we were still good for dinner.”
“I swear he talks to you more than he talks to me,” I mutter. “Yeah. I’ll head over in a minute… what do you have to do, anyway?” We brought two separate cars because he told me he had something he had to pick up while in town before we went to my Dad’s for dinner. He told me I should go over first and make sure Dad didn’t burn down the house.
“Hey, I didn’t ask you what you got for that baby shower you’re throwing in a couple weeks.”
“Do you really want to see the ridiculous games I had to get for this thing?” I ask, raising my eyebrows and looking up at him.
He chuckles and kisses my forehead. “Nope. Don’t care.”
“Fine keep your secrets, mystery man…. But one of these days, I will get you to spill it all,” I say, getting off of his lap.
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