Revelations
Page 7
Georgiana would love to talk with the woman, girl actually, whom she was starting to hope would be her sister some day, but she could not think of a single thing to say, and Miss Bingley's eyes fixing her constantly made her very nervous.
At that very moment, Fitzwilliam entered the room, and there was too much to observe to be talking. Miss Elizabeth looked out of sorts, but with embarrassment rather than dislike of Fitzwilliam. Georgiana had to be very much mistaken if she was not starting to have some warm feelings towards her brother. If only Miss Bingley behaved, but she was now approaching boiling point, for Fitzwilliam did look more than a little lovesick. To Georgiana at least, but that might be because she knew him best, and she knew he actually was desperately in love.
Miss Bingley now tried to engage Georgiana in conversation, but, as ever, she had nothing interesting to say. She looked like one of those dolls, with a smile on one side and an angry face on the other. The smile was for Georgiana and her brother, the angry face for Miss Elizabeth. Miss Bingley
didn't pay the slightest attention to either Mrs Annesley or Mrs Gardiner.
She should have a lady companion to correct her behaviour, for it was not seemly. To spite her, Georgiana went out of her way to find something to say to Miss Elizabeth, and she managed surprisingly well.
'Do you like art, Miss Elizabeth?' she asked.
'I have seen a lot of beautiful paintings on our trip through Derbyshire, Miss Darcy,' was her reply, 'but I have to admit I was getting a bit tired of seeing splendid portraits of richly dressed and opulently bejewelled nobility. When viewing your magnificent place with the housekeeper the day before yesterday, I preferred to look at your crayons. How did you manage to get the colours just right? And how did you choose a subject? Was it inspiration, or did you have a teacher who gave you a list of subjects to draw?'
Of course Georgiana was flattered to have her work preferred over priceless family-pieces, she believed Miss Elizabeth was in earnest, for she could imagine finding someone else's old and chagrined relatives rather boring to watch, no matter how richly they were dressed, or how well they were represented.
'Choosing colours is really mostly a matter of feeling to me, though I have indeed had a lot of lessons on use of colour and different other techniques.
And when I have something in mind, I work on it until it is as close to my ideal as I can get it, which is often not close enough at all.'
Miss Elizabeth nodded, she seemed to understand the frustration of not managing to achieve the beautiful image one had before one's mind's eye, and looked eager to hear more. No problem, Georgiana was feeling totally at ease for a few moments, and she added, 'I suppose you might say that the subjects for my drawings chose me instead of the other way around, my teachers always left me totally free to draw what I wanted to. Unless we were studying a certain subject of course, like portraits or landscapes. But I haven't had any lessons for some time now, the piano takes most of my time now.'
From the corner of her eye she could see Fitzwilliam looking at her encouragingly, he really wanted them to like each other, no problem, just take away Miss Bingley and her angry face and they could chat all night long, Georgiana was sure of that. Miss Elizabeth seemed a little more at ease as well, and Georgiana asked, 'And you, Miss Bennet, do you draw or
paint?'
She sure was pretty when she smiled, Georgiana finally understood why Fitzwilliam called her beautiful, he probably pictured her like this all the time.
'I'm very sorry to have to admit I haven't the slightest talent for drawing, I'm quite fond of needlework, but that is the closest I get to creating anything.'
That was what Fitzwilliam meant, this was the real Miss Elizabeth, finally there was some flow to what she said, she was getting close to being herself despite the blood-curdling angry looks directed at her by Miss Bingley.
Apparently they didn't bother Miss Elizabeth much, it was Fitzwilliam's presence that made her shy and quiet.
For a moment there was a comfortable silence between Miss Elizabeth and herself, as they waited where their conversation would take them next, and Miss Bingley used that very moment to make the angry face real, shooting a nasty question at Miss Elizabeth, about some regiment near her home.
Georgiana froze instantly, Miss Bingley was implying Miss Elizabeth was trashy, chasing officers, that was it, Miss Elizabeth would never darken their door again, Fitzwilliam would be distraught for years. But both he and Miss Elizabeth looked at Georgiana instead, positively shocked, goodness, it likely was the regiment where Wickham served. And Miss Elizabeth used to be partial to him, but that would not make her look at Georgiana like that.
She knew! Fitzwilliam told her! What did he have to do that for? Now Miss Elizabeth would think Georgiana was trashy, she could feel the colour rise in her cheeks at the very thought. Or no, Miss Elizabeth would not blame her too much, for she liked him, too. Still, how could her brother?
'We'll get over it in time,' Miss Elizabeth answered Miss Bingley's vicious remark tranquilly. Fitzwilliam still looked at Georgiana, she'd give him an earful over telling on her later, it was a foolish thing she did, but couldn't they just forget about it? He proposed to a woman and insulted her in the process, that was much more stupid, and he was twenty-seven at the time, she had been just fifteen. Her brother was probably convinced she was still suffering over what happened then, and maybe she should be, but somehow she didn't care that much anymore, except that she'd never really trust a man again. Still, he wouldn't expect her to talk much after such a shock, so she used the rest of the time to observe again. He seemed very relieved to have the subject closed, his mood now positively soft towards Miss Elizabeth,
good, that'd show her he had strong feelings after all.
Miss Elizabeth seemed very much aware of being in Fitzwilliam's confidence, that always created a certain bond, and if she could resist the way he looked at her now his love was hopeless anyway. Maybe his breach of trust towards Georgiana had some higher purpose at least, then.
For some reason, Miss Elizabeth didn't seem at all put out by Miss Bingley's nastiness, suppose she always treated Miss Elizabeth that way? Had Fitzwilliam accept that of her, maybe even joined in with her? Georgiana knew he used to find pleasure in deriding people sometimes, before, well, before Miss Elizabeth rejected him. If so, it was no wonder she hated him, such coldness couldn't be borne. Their guests were leaving, and Miss Elizabeth was very nice to Georgiana once again. She couldn't help Fitzwilliam being indiscreet, and Georgiana was certain she would never breathe a word of Georgiana's humiliation to any soul. Mrs Gardiner was also very polite, though she had to be shocked by the company they kept.
Such rudeness, how could Fitzwilliam allow it in his house?
Her brother accompanied her guests to their carriage, and Miss Bingley immediately started abusing Miss Elizabeth, and of course by criticising her appearance. She was such a bore, and had the worst manners ever, Georgiana had never been so ashamed in her whole life, to have such a house-guest. Again she wished she had Miss Elizabeth's way with words, oh, to be able to put someone in their place with a few choice sentences.
Maybe it was something a person could learn with practice, like playing the piano or drawing. But that also required some talent, and Georgiana feared she sadly lacked this particular one.
By now Fitzwilliam was back, and Miss Bingley repeated her gross rudeness to him. He replied airily, but she kept needling him further and further, indeed suggesting there was a time that he liked to talk viciously about Miss Elizabeth by repeating some of the things he allegedly said about her, giving Miss Elizabeth plenty of reason to hate him at that time, no doubt. But no more, he was very well-smitten, and finally, after Georgiana had suffered for more than an hour under Miss Bingley's atrocious lack of manners, Fitzwilliam redeemed her and himself by giving Miss Bingley her due. It almost made up for his indiscretion, with one sentence he as good as declared his love for Miss Elizabeth to Miss Bingley, then left the
room, undoubtedly back to his fishing party.
Miss Bingley was crushed, and Georgiana watched her unobtrusively, with an unholy glee that almost made her ashamed of herself. Almost, for the woman had just caused her a world of trouble, and a very uncomfortable hour with guests she actually liked. After her brother had left, Georgiana pleaded fatigue to Mrs Annesley, and was relieved of her duties as hostess for now.
She almost skipped through the hall to the room where her new instrument stood, where she proceeded to put the lovely new piano through its fabulous paces. An hour passed without Georgiana ever noticing the time, and she was still playing with enthusiasm when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She stopped playing and turned around to find Fitzwilliam standing there, looking worried.
'How long have you been standing there, Fitzwilliam?' she asked, strangely happy to see him.
'About five minutes, I thought you'd feel my presence eventually, but you were really far away from here, weren't you?'
He seemed impressed rather than worried now.
'That happens when I'm practising, I lose track of time. This is a marvellous instrument, Fitzwilliam, how did you know to choose this one?'
'I'll tell you some other time,' he replied, worry back in his handsome features, 'first I want to know how you are doing after what happened this afternoon. Mrs Annesley told me you pleaded to be allowed to retire, complaining of fatigue, looking worn out.'
'I was tired of Caroline Bingley, Fitzwilliam, how can you bear to have her in your house, she is a menace, and Mrs Annesley always forces me to stay with her and talk to her when you have their brother over. Do you know she has the worst manners? I really wanted to be away from her so I told Mrs Annesley a little white lie to be able to put in some practice. Mrs Annesley says I can only play the piano at suitable times when we have company. But Caroline Bingley is not company, she practically lives here whenever you are here, and if I don't practise I'll never be any good as a pianist.'
Now Georgiana was getting upset, and this time it was her brother's turn to take her in his arms and comfort her.
'Calm down, love, calm down, and tell me what happened to upset you so. I thought it was Miss Bingley mentioning Wickham that upset you.'
Being held by Fitzwilliam was very nice, and Georgiana did calm down immediately.
'I didn't even know he was with that particular regiment. It was your looking at me with such shock that gave it away, and Miss Elizabeth looking at me in the same way that upset me. Why did you tell her? Now she thinks I'm cheap. And Miss Bingley was very cold and rude to Miss Elizabeth, she ruined the whole afternoon, I couldn't talk because of it, I was so afraid Miss Elizabeth would feel insulted and leave, and you'd be lost.'
'You like her then?' her brother asked, with a soft smile.
'I do, she's really nice, except she was not as you described her, and as both Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst set her down. They said she was impertinent, but she seemed a bit lost for words today. I think she's uncertain about you, Fitzwilliam, I think she's falling for you. But Miss Bingley knew somehow, and practically froze her out.'
'You asked them about her?'
'I drew them out, they like gossiping, I thought maybe they'd know how she felt about you, but they didn't say anything useful, except that when the two of you really talked, they didn't understand a thing you were saying. Of course I didn't ask outright, I merely set them off.'
Fitzwilliam now sat down on her piano stool, and took her on his lap. Then he said gently, 'I cannot help Miss Bingley being here, Georgie, I like her brother, and she comes with him, I cannot get rid of him because he has a sister depending on him. But I will not leave you alone with her anymore, from now on she is no longer company, and you can flee her presence whenever you like, except during meals. And if anyone visits, you can send someone after me and I will be the host and as such check her behaviour.
And you may practise your playing every day, guests or no guests, I will talk to Mrs Annesley about that. Had you come to me earlier, I would have settled that with her immediately.'
Then his voice lowered even more, and he crushed her against him.
'I did tell Miss Elizabeth about what Wickham did to you, Georgie, I had to at that time or he might have broken her heart, and I'm very sure she will never tell anyone, or find you cheap. Remember, she had a crush on him, too, and she didn't have any memories of a childhood with him being nice to her all the time. No-one blames you, and I'm glad you're not suffering for it.
You can forget about Miss Elizabeth knowing, she does have manners, she proved that again today.'
He showed his feelings plainly now, and Georgiana's heart ached for him,
how could anyone stand being in love when it gave such pain?
'And last of all, Miss Elizabeth will not wonder at being frozen out or being insulted or baited by Miss Bingley, for I'm sorry to say the latter has ever done that. Always said nasty things about Miss Elizabeth too, behind her back. And since nothing escapes your notice, there was indeed a time when I said some less than flattering things about Miss Elizabeth myself. I am very much ashamed of that, and believe me, I've suffered for it, for one of those remarks started her intense dislike of me. I slighted her at a dance, calling her beauty barely tolerable, and since she was very young and still cared for dancing, she never forgave me. One evening at Netherfield I told her that my good opinion once lost is lost forever, and I beg providence every night that she please be more forgiving than that.'
'I'm sure she is, Fitzwilliam,' Georgiana said soothingly, 'I think she kind of likes you now, really. She may not yet be ready to love you, but she is ready to like you. She wants your approval. And now I will admit that I gloated inwardly when you bluntly told Miss Bingley this afternoon that you admired Miss Elizabeth. She was totally crushed. She had it coming, she was needling and baiting and freezing out poor Miss Elizabeth all afternoon.
I really thought your chance had gone with such a horrid creature under your roof. Remember, Miss Elizabeth was my guest, and your guest spoiled her visit. I didn't know she always treated Miss Elizabeth miserably, and I'm sure Miss Elizabeth felt it this time.'
'You are right, Georgie,' her brother admitted, 'you have an impeccable sense of right, to feel this as you should. I remember Miss Bingley's behaviour to Miss Elizabeth from our time together at Netherfield, and I didn't make much of it because Miss Elizabeth seemed well able to ignore it.
But that was in Bingley's house, and this is my house. Miss Elizabeth was your guest, and my guest did treat her really badly, her bad manners reflecting on you. I will call on Miss Elizabeth tomorrow, and apologise for Miss Bingley's behaviour, will that satisfy your sense of honour? I will also assure her that it will not happen again during our dinner here, or she may feel uncomfortable coming over. I would really dislike that. I'm very proud of you, Georgie, you're really almost grown-up. One more hug, and then dinner? Miss Bingley will be rather quiet, since it seems I crushed her.'
'You did, and I'm proud of you for standing up for the woman you love. If she had heard it, she would have been proud of you, too, I'm sure. I wish I
could help you win her over, I really like her.
If you two get married, can we let Mrs Annesley go? You won't stay with friends as much, will you? And we can all read in the evenings, or play duets.'
Her brother did not answer that question, he merely gathered her against him once more, and held her for a few minutes. Then he released her and said, 'Let's dress for dinner, and try not to gloat, or we'll have it coming next.'
Dinner was interesting to say the least. Despite her having treated Miss Elizabeth atrociously to her face, and insulted her behind her back, Darcy felt bad about having caused Miss Bingley such pain. She was present, but practically radiated her distress. Until he reminded himself he had never given her any encouragement, the way she held onto her preference for him was not only demeaning to her and embarrassing to him, it also reeked of manipulation. Was she magnifying her hur
t to make him feel guilty, to snare him into being nice to her? Had she still not gotten the message? He was in love with someone else, and he was not going to accept the woman of his dreams being insulted or frozen out in his own house, not anymore. Hiding his displeasure from his friends, he pretended to be all amiability, and sat himself with Georgie. She asked him about a certain disease that had struck a lot of very poor people in the county, however did she know about that?, and she wanted to know what he was doing about it. As he described the program he and some other landowners had started up to treat the sick and find the cause of the disease, they talked with so much interest that they lost all eye for the rest of the party. Bingley soon joined them, and had some surprising insights, which seemed to impress Georgie, and they spent that whole meal talking on that particular subject.
In the evening Georgie treated them to some superb music, he had never appreciated before how good she really was, just saw her playing as another accomplishment to add to her value as a marriage candidate, like fortune, and connections, and beauty. But this was beyond accomplishment, she should be a performer. It was totally unheard of, a Darcy performing to strangers, but he was willing to spend some thoughts on it, if she was, being so very shy by her very nature.
Of course he spent his first hour in bed contemplating Georgie's observations on Miss Elizabeth. Dared he believe his sister, that Miss
Elizabeth's uncharacteristic behaviour signified a heart slowly turning towards him? Maybe, but he would not act on his hopes, he would not even consider proposing to her again until she had shown at least one clear sign of loving him. And he would even add the restriction that someone else had to validate that sign of love, he didn't trust himself to do that anymore. He realised that would take a long time yet, but this time he was not going to rush into things, and bear the consequences for the rest of his days. It was just too important.