Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  'Come, beloved,' he observed, 'let's make ourselves comfortable in the drawing-room. It has been a long trip.'

  Then he kissed her for good measure, as if they hadn't already been very intimate in the carriage that morning. Elizabeth followed him to the drawing-room but looked back for a second, seeing the two main servants of this house look after their master and his new wife with undisguised envy.

  Once in the drawing-room, Elizabeth saw Simon sprawled over a chair, he truly felt at home here. The two of them sat down as well, Fitzwilliam clearly eager for Elizabeth to join him on a sofa, holding out his arms to her again. Though that was not entirely appropriate in company, this was actually a servant, so she indulged her husband and sat quite close to him, his arm around her once more.

  'Master, you are smitten!' Simon commented cheekily, 'I remember your being down, but I have never seen you this exuberant, it is a feast to my eyes.'

  He was pretty forward, and Fitzwilliam didn't seem to mind at all, this young man had a lot of goodwill from her beloved and he knew it.

  'I am totally lost, Simon, don't expect even a smattering of sense out of me, I'm not back to earth yet after three weeks of heaven.'

  After five more minutes of easy chat, not without some bantering between the two men, Janine entered with coffee and a few treats, presenting a totally different figure, all affability, obviously glad the master was back, even rather attentive to the new Mrs Darcy. What a minx! But once the coffee was served she had to leave the room, and no sooner had she closed the door behind her or Fitzwilliam's expression and tone changed to kind concern.

  'Now tell me, Simon, what is going on here? All seems well around me, but I'm hearing reports of bullying going on behind my back. I want to know what has been done to you, and why you haven't told me anything.'

  Chapter 20

  The effect of Fitzwilliam's question was most extraordinary. Simon had to swallow very distinctly, then hid his face in his hands in what seemed to be shame. Why should he be ashamed of being bullied and not telling his master about it? Fitzwilliam didn't hurry him, he sat quietly, waiting until Simon had controlled his emotions. When the valet finally started to speak it became obvious that he was indeed very much ashamed, and his halting words soon explained some of his distress.

  'I'm sorry master, you know I've never kept anything from you before. But what they are imposing on me with is so intimate, and has such potential to harm me forever if it gets out, there is nothing I can do. If they talk, I will never work again, and I may be in danger from the law and from everyone around me, even my own family. They can reduce me to becoming a beggar with what they have the power to disclose. If I had told you before or even tell you now, you would have me thrown out in disgrace, I'd be ruined. I've not done anything wrong, master, you know I wouldn't. This is just who I am, I've tried to get cured but nothing works. Can't you just ignore it? I can bear a little teasing, I'm used to it, I have an old brother.'

  'It's not just you, Simon,' Fitzwilliam replied soothingly, 'they have been tormenting Bob as well and he clearly cannot bear it, I could see he had something on his liver, though I had to push him to tell me. But you, Simon, I didn't even notice anything was wrong, you kept it from me.'

  'Please don't make me tell now, master, please. I thought I might just find another situation then pray they'd forget about me. You're married now, I can't bear to do my job when I'm merely tolerated, when I'm no longer your friend but a nuisance intruding on your private life. I'll have to leave you anyway!'

  Elizabeth just couldn't believe her eyes and ears, another one of them!

  Simon was very close to tears at the very thought of leaving Fitzwilliam!

  'I know what they use to hurt you, Simon, why do you think I let you advise my sister on how to dress, all by yourself? Don't you think I would have insisted on a chaperone otherwise?'

  That was obviously the wrong thing to say for Simon now collapsed, hugging his own knees, crying softly. Whatever could be so bad that it reduced a grown man to tears after having withstood months, maybe even years of torment from his closest colleagues? Elizabeth felt more countrified than ever, it was as if they were talking in city code, some secret language she couldn't understand.

  Fitzwilliam looked at her and asked, 'Do you mind?'

  Well, apparently she was not totally stupid or thick after all, just countrified, for she could still take a hint and recognise he wanted to comfort his valet.

  Comfort a servant? Was this Mr Darcy? Feeling quite soft inside she nodded her assent, and saw her beautiful husband stand next to his servant and lay an hand on his shoulder. Fitzwilliam was very proper, this was nothing Elizabeth wouldn't have done if she saw someone in such distress.

  'Never mind, Simon, you trust me, don't you?'

  Now looking more like a boy, the handsome man gazed up at him.

  'More than anyone I know, master.'

  'Can you believe me if I say you will be safe here? I need Bob to enjoy his work, we trust our lives to him, he cannot be unhappy or distracted. And I need you to feel welcome and useful here, and you will be. I do expect your duties to change, but Mrs Darcy and Miss Darcy will make good use of your insights in London society, and I have a feeling there will be a vacancy in my household staff very soon that you may be able to fill with your talents.

  There is a slight risk that your secret will come out when that happens, but if it does, I will stand by you and keep you from ruin with any means I have at my disposal. Please trust me, Simon, and be brave for a few more days until the matter is resolved. Just pretend nothing has changed, I'm going to be haunting this house the coming days and especially the servants' quarters and the stables, I want to know what they're doing and which measures are pertinent. I need to see for myself.'

  The young valet did take heart at Fitzwilliam's speech, though Elizabeth still didn't understand, but she supposed her beloved would explain later. First he ruffled Simon's hair, and the poor lad looked up at him in adulation. Worse than that actually, in worship. But Simon was not a boy anymore, he was a man, at least her own age. Then that look had to be...

  Elizabeth cut that thought short, it would explain a lot, but she had never heard of it. Better wait what Fitzwilliam had to say before jumping to conclusions. Her beloved had to be absolutely torn in two, stalking the halls of his own home to catch his trusted servants red-handed, dismissing Janine and most likely Theo as well would be very hard on Fitzwilliam, he had lived with them for years. Elizabeth kind of hoped he would catch them at something really bad, to make it easier on him, but also so she herself did not have to convince him to let at least Janine go. There was no way in which Elizabeth was going to share a house with a maid who looked at her with undisguised hatred! Soon Simon had calmed down and Fitzwilliam left the two of them to take a short stroll to the stables, quietly and unobtrusively. Elizabeth and Simon stayed behind.

  'I'm so sorry, Mrs Darcy, to let myself go before you. The first time we meet you see me lose it, that cannot make a good impression.'

  His voice was back to normal but his mind wasn't, Elizabeth could see that easily. He was still almost in shock, having his trouble exposed, realising the master knew his secret. It had to be bad to cause a grown-up man such intense fear and shame.

  'I don't doubt your fear is very real, Simon, and living in one house with people out to hurt you is unacceptable. I'm sure your master will make everything right. I like his suggestion of you helping both Miss Georgiana and myself get a little more worldly-wise, I know she has lived in town at least half her life, but I suppose she has been very sheltered. She may be of an age now to want to change that. I've lived in the country all my life, I may be a lost cause. I'm very certain we can use the help.'

  She had decided to make some conversation, they hardly knew each other and Simon still seemed a bit upset, better not set him off again with the wrong remark. And he indeed thankfully observed, 'If the master sees fit to keep me in his service I will be delighted. A
nd I do trust him, in fact I'm starting to feel very relieved he knows. He'll tell you about it I'm sure. The master would never marry a woman he couldn't share everything with, and I'm sure you will settle in town really quickly.'

  When Fitzwilliam returned, Simon asked leave to retire and of course was allowed to go. 'Remember, Simon, you'll be free again soon. And I've asked Bob to hang out in the staff room more often, he doesn't mind playing bait, he's got everything to gain by exposing whoever keeps taunting him, maybe we won't even need to use your testimony.'

  And to Elizabeth, 'Shall we retire to our bedroom for an half an hour, my love, where we will not be disturbed?'

  As they sat on the bed, Fitzwilliam showed his distress.

  'I cannot believe I'm stalking my own staff, the people I thought were loyal to me above all else. I feel betrayed and even a bit hurt.'

  Elizabeth took him in her arms.

  'They are loyal to you, my love, in fact I think they are mostly very jealous of Simon. I observed those two when you took Simon to the drawing-room, and Theo looked more than a bit envious of your preference of Simon over him. Janine threw me a decidedly unfriendly look, there was nothing subtle about that. Then when she came in with the coffee she was the complete opposite, friendly, almost demure. What is she thinking, that she can make me leave? That I will accept insolence from a servant?'

  For a very short moment, Fitzwilliam almost smiled at her decided tone, then his face became serious once more.

  'In our marriage it will not work, but there must be plenty of places where a cunning servant manages to sow discord between a husband and wife.

  Suppose I wouldn't believe you? She was perfectly polite before me.'

  'But what is the gain? What is in it for her? Does she like making people unhappy? We cannot unmarry, and even if we could, you could never marry her. There would be another mistress of the house sooner or later.'

  'There you may have hit the essence of her behaviour, she felt she could handle Georgie and thus be the mistress of the house, being the highest-ranked female of the staff. To keep that position she needs to get the better of you as well.'

  Elizabeth still thought the stakes too high.

  'But it will cost her a job she has had for how many years?'

  'Ten, I think. She started as a very young woman, I don't think she has ever served someone else, she must have lost perspective. Do you want her dismissed?'

  'I'm sorry my love, but I do. I've never disliked someone at first sight, and since my dislike of you turned out to be so wholly undeserved, I have become even more careful disliking them on second sight. But the look she threw me, it was pure hatred. I do not want to live in a house where someone hates me, and since I promised to stay with you until death do us part, I'm afraid she will have to be the one to go. But it need not be tonight,

  and if you want to see her hatred of me with your own eyes I will bear with her a little longer.'

  'Please don't ever leave me, dearest, don't even joke about it. The very idea of living without you makes my heart falter.'

  Fitzwilliam squeezed Elizabeth to his chest so firmly that she couldn't move a limb, but she didn't want to, whenever he showed his love for her so strongly she felt wanted, and safe. Her beloved was still musing.

  'Maybe my staff has grown too close to me after all these years, they knew me as a boy, I may have been too lenient towards them because of that familiarity. Maybe it is time they find some other position, where they will have to earn the respect of their employers again. But I still need to see with my own eyes how bad their bullying is, to decide whether they will get references from me.'

  Then he seemed to realise something else.

  'Do you really think I treat Simon differently than Theo? Simon may be too close to me as well, and I like him, as a person. I appreciate Theo's work here, but I don't feel a bond to him. Nor to Janine, frankly.'

  'You certainly did treat Simon differently just now, you took him to the drawing-room chatting, and left Theo with your coat and Janine to serve the coffee. And frankly, both Simon and Theo looked as if they adored you a bit much for grown men, I mean, if they had been ladies I would have been jealous myself.'

  Something fell into place for Fitzwilliam, but not for Elizabeth, and it was her turn to look her question.

  'I see I have some explaining to do. I told you when we were still at Pemberley, but I suppose you didn't understand. You know some things are just not mentioned at all in the country, not even at Pemberley. Simon does not fall in love with women, he falls in love with men. That of course is not something he can have other people know, he is doomed to live in loneliness forever. But he is a good valet and he has other talents, so he can at least make a good income for himself and his parents and siblings. But if word gets out, no-one will hire him, and even his own family may refuse to acknowledge him any longer. I don't mind what he is, but others would throw him out or even beat him. He said just now that Theo had found out and bullied him with the knowledge, threatening to expose him if he complained to me. And what would he complain about? Their bullying him

  with preferences that would most likely get him instantly dismissed? Except that I already knew, I don't remember how, I guess it must have been those yearning looks at me, and his total lack of interest in Georgie. Despite being a servant and a low one at that, Bruce always looked at her in a certain way, well, like a man, another man recognises that look. Except Simon never had it. And now you are telling me Theo also looks at me that way? Why would he pick on Simon then?'

  Elizabeth was not exactly stunned with what Fitzwilliam told her, it confirmed the thought she had suppressed for not ever heaving heard of this existing. Instead of shock she felt a bit of shame, to be so naïve and countrified. But that didn't mean she was stupid.

  'To cover up his own secret. Hating someone who has that will throw people off his own trail. Very low if you ask me.'

  'You're not shocked? Disgusted? You're not going to have me kick Simon out for having a bit of a fancy for me?

  'Of course not, as you said, it's their problem, not ours. Though Theo is making his problem Simon's as well, and that's not fair. My problem is, I'm just realising how naïve I am. I need Simon badly, I need to be brought up in the ways of the city fast, before I make a total fool of myself.'

  'My dearest Elizabeth, have I told you recently how much I admire and love you?'

  He was doing it again, looking at her in that special way that made her heart skip a beat. They were already in a tight embrace, they could not hold each other closer. With a cry of feeling she kissed him, and he answered that kiss with all the love he felt. It was so special to love someone so much and know that love was returned. As soon as she had her breath back, she replied, 'You have, beloved, and I'm glad, for I feel kind of stupid right now.'

  'You have been in this house for less than an hour and you've found the reason why Theo is bullying Simon. He must indeed be jealous, I'm not sure about hiding his true nature, but you may be right, I've never caught him checking out women, but I thought it was professional pride or respect. I didn't catch him checking out men either, and once I suspected I did notice Simon doing that, very covertly, it may have been when Nathan came to London on business, he's very good-looking after all. Of course I felt Simon react whenever I touched him, and a touch sometimes does happen when someone is wrenching you in a coat that seems at least a size too small. But

  both of us ignored that and just horsed around a little. That familiarity must have made Theo livid. I'm sorry I never caught on, but of course there was trouble with Georgie before this. It's time to make tough decisions. Will you let me spy a little in the kitchen while you explore? I expect Georgie to come home any minute now, I wonder what she has seen of all this.'

  And so it happened that Elizabeth checked out the rooms of this house, there were very many of them and all perfectly decorated. Fitzwilliam did have excellent taste, but Georgiana needed some space to develop her own preference
s, and some rooms could use a bit of a feminine touch, maybe she could convince her sister to exchange some thoughts on that subject soon.

  Coming across the library of course she got distracted, so many books, it had to be one third the size of the Pemberley library, but that was large enough to provide a medium-sized city with books. This was still very large for a private owner, and Elizabeth wondered how many books were doubles and how many were adding to the sum of her beloved's collection.

  As she browsed the shelves, picking up a volume now and then to take a closer look at its contents, she felt a presence behind her in the room.

  Thinking it to be Fitzwilliam about to surprise her, she turned around to see Janine standing there, looking even more hostile now she was alone with her mistress. Except she didn't seem to acknowledge Elizabeth as such, which strangely caused Elizabeth to feel curious rather than angry or affected. Why did she act like this, what was the gain the woman expected to come of it?

  As Elizabeth just looked at her curiously, the maid wasn't affected at all by her scrutiny, she just stood there and stared back. Elizabeth was not going to start a staring match with a dependant, or speak to her if there was nothing she wanted from her, so she turned back to the rows of books and ignored Janine entirely. Feeling a bit of discomfort to turn her back on someone so hostile towards her, she soon dismissed the feeling and found interest in the books around her, until Fitzwilliam came looking for her to tell her that Georgiana was back from her lesson and lunch was ready.

  After leaving Elizabeth to explore, Darcy moved quietly towards the kitchen, something he was surprisingly good at for a man of his size and bearing. Of course being a sportsman he had learned to keep absolutely still or he'd never shoot anything. He supposed few members of his staff ever entered the kitchen, it was the cook's domain and anyone except his helpers would be in the way. The kitchen had a door to the staff room which was