Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  As Darcy was still thinking through Mr Fielding's dilemma, Elizabeth said with feeling, 'You need never be destitute, Mr Fielding, you can always teach for a living. You can build up a new life, less easy of course, but someone of your talent will find a new patron eventually.'

  But Darcy understood Mr Fielding's guilt, his disappointment, the temptation of easy money at the price of taking a simple wife and wasting his best years.

  'I'm very sorry for you, Mr Fielding, I can imagine how you must feel, torn between duty to the patron who made you, and your talent and ambition telling you you're being fettered. I cannot presume to tell you how to lead your life, but as a man who waited ten years for the right woman and went through the depths of despair before being able to win her, I advise you not to marry without love. Both despair and being deliriously happy must be such fabulous sources of inspiration for your music.

  I have never been patron to anyone, but having been head of two extensive households and a landlord to dozens of families for five years, since my esteemed father passed away, I pride myself on having some insight in your dilemma. I do not own the people who work for me. They work hard, they depend on me and I see it as my duty to help them lead their lives as pleasantly as possible. If they grow beyond my service I let them go and help them to get ahead. Holding back ambitious people doesn't serve any purpose, they will grow unhappy and they will usually blame their unhappiness on the people who they feel are hindering them in their development.

  Your patron made you, but he does not own you. You have no obligations to make either him, or his daughter happy at the cost of your own peace of

  mind. I have enjoyed your concert immensely and I agree with Elizabeth that most people would appreciate your music. It is much more accessible than most compositions, less stiff and yes, less pretentious. It has true feeling, and anyone can understand its nature. Your patron has no right to keep you from composing and from playing your music to an audience. But I also understand you feel indebted to him and would unwillingly leave his protection. May I propose a solution to you?'

  Mr Fielding, obviously heartened by Darcy's layman's praise of his work, was all ears.

  'Mr Fielding, I will look into this business of being someone's patron, I have the means, I have the inclination to be of use to you, and I'm sure I'd gain some extra credit with my wife and sister in supporting you. I do not guarantee you an international career, I have no insight in the cost, I think it might be beyond what I'm prepared to invest. And personally I think your constitution is too delicate to travel the continent ceaselessly, also, as an adoring brother, I have to listen to my sister, who says you would be a loss to the world as composer if you were to become solely a performer.

  But I dare advise you to just be yourself with your patron, be frank and tell him you cannot give up all your ambitions to marry a girl you only love as a sister. Be realistic about your own views of your future, you cannot expect your patron to beggar himself to pay for your dream. But you are not his possession, and if he should throw you out for refusing to be one, I will personally see to it that you do not become destitute. I will help you find a place to live and an income to support yourself. And if my inquiries into being a patron have a favourable outcome, I may even be prepared to further your career. But that does mean you will have to be blameless in the separation from your current patron, I will not have people say I stole you from him, put you up against him to further my own ends. I have an excellent reputation among the tradespeople of London and I mean to hold on to that. He will have to decide to part with you, though that may hurt your personal feeling of dignity. Be yourself, and if he lets you go instead of letting you develop, I will help you.'

  Darcy could see the relief on the young man's face, and he truly admired his talent and his burning ambition. Whatever his birth, this man was now a gentleman and he should not be forced to serve anyone at the cost of his personal development. Darcy's mind was already thinking of the person best suited to find out what was expected of a patron to an artist, and it decided

  on his lawyer. He needed to see him over Elizabeth's settlement anyway, that should be ready to sign by now. Better have his cousin Fitzwilliam over to witness right after the wedding, just in time for a Christmas party in London.

  'Thank you very much, Mr Darcy, I'll take your advice and tell my patron about my feelings without mentioning you or your kind offer. I love him almost like a father, and I will tell him the truth, that I can but love Louise like a sister. I didn't dare before, for fear of ending up in the streets. If he should decide to stop supporting me, you will not be held accountable in any way. And I will take your advice on marriage to heart especially, for I never realised your marriage had not been love at first sight. It feels that way, you're so, well....right, together. Love always seemed to me to be second to ambition, but recently I have started to revise that opinion. Maybe playing in all the great halls of Europe is not the only way to gain happiness.

  I feel much lighter, though it will be difficult to face my patron with what I know will anger and hurt him. But I cannot live like a slave, I must decide my own fate, and I cannot refrain from composing any more than I can refrain from drawing breath. Thank you again, both of you. I hope to see one of you with Miss Darcy at my patron's place, just before you leave for Hertfordshire.'

  They shook hands, and Darcy could see Elizabeth needed to actively refrain from laying a soothing hand on him. He was of an age to be her brother and had such an engaging personality, but Darcy saw nothing to make him jealous of his beloved's affection. He handed Mr Fielding the payment they had arranged for the evening, noticing the young man seemed to have a hard time accepting it. He did pocket the money, though, after thanking Darcy, distracted by Elizabeth speaking up.

  'Good luck, Mr Fielding,' she said, 'I hope things will work out better than you expect. They still might, you know, your patron must love you, too, to want you to marry his only child.'

  And since Darcy had nothing to add to that, he merely took the young man's shoulders in a solid grip, and added, 'Good luck, Mr Fielding. Please keep us informed.'

  Then Mr Fielding left, and as soon as their guest was out of the room, Elizabeth embraced Darcy tightly.

  'I had such hope his patron would appreciate his work, this must be a

  crushing disappointment to Mr Fielding.'

  Her hair smelled lovely, though he preferred to see her less made up, she was almost too beautiful for him this way, more like a queen than an ordinary mortal.

  'You like him a lot, don't you?'

  'I do, Fitzwilliam, I cannot help it.'

  'Should I be jealous?'

  She looked up at him, incredulous.

  'You're not even making fun of me, you're partly serious. I'm yours forever, Fitzwilliam, there is no man in this world who can compare to you.'

  Then, more playfully.

  'I like Mr Fielding, admire his talent, but he is obsessed with music. I prefer a man who lives in the real world and who adores me, not a chunk of wood held together with strings. Besides, he's in love with your sister.'

  'Are you sure, Elizabeth? He seemed to admire you very much.'

  'Believe me, he is. He's just a very good actor as well as a superb player and singer. And I look very good in this dress, you said so yourself. I'm not worried, nor should you be. If you want to worry, worry about your sister. If he gets thrown from his patron's protection, she'll want to rescue him at any cost.'

  'You will, too, and I also want to help him. I like him so much I don't even think about his birth anymore. He is a gentleman in all other respects and I'm sure he would treat my sister with consideration. But don't tell him that, and you can even keep that a secret from my sister, since you're doing her the same favour.'

  Did she show a twinge of guilt? Darcy was certain of it, but if Georgie confided in Elizabeth how could he object to that? Intimacy between them had been his dearest wish, hadn't it? He rejoiced in it, even though it did make him feel
a little left out.

  'Never mind, Elizabeth, I'm glad you are close, Georgie never had anyone to confide in. She must be very happy to have you, though not as happy as I am.'

  And he lifted her to his chest, ready to go to their nice warm bed and hold her against him without their beautiful clothes between them.

  Chapter 35

  The next day passed quietly, with their usual activities. But in the quiet hour just after lunch Elizabeth asked Georgiana to put on the dress that needed a better fit, so they could adjust it before they left for Hertfordshire. Mrs Annesley was very interested to see the process of fitting a garment that had already been finished, she had her own dresses made by a seamstress and they worked differently, fitting before they even put scissors to the fabric.

  Pinning two new seams deftly, Elizabeth was satisfied with the result and handed the dress to Mrs Annesley, who not only seamed very beautifully, but also very quickly.

  Work done, Georgiana put the dress back on and Mrs Annesley admitted,

  'You were right, Mrs Darcy, that was very easy to do and it looks ever so much better. Will you wear it tonight, Miss Darcy?'

  Tonight they were going out. Elizabeth was forcing her loved ones to accompany her to a play. It was a comedy, not too difficult, they had to start small, before it was too late and spring had arrived. The theatre was old but carefully preserved, and Elizabeth was glad she had decided not to wear the new dress, she would have felt very out of place here and overdressed.

  Fanny's advice, to wear the beautiful copper necklace and a cap with a feather with one of her country chic dresses worked really well, she felt fine, blending in with the rest of the visitors, as did Georgiana, despite her taller figure and her new dress.

  Fitzwilliam did stand out, his tall figure and proud stance made him seem very imposing, despite his wearing shoes instead of boots, and they had no problem at all to get to their box through a crowd moving towards the main hall, somehow people seemed to make way for him. When they returned that night after a pleasant evening out, they had just one more day left before they were to set off for Netherfield. Most of their belongings had already been packed, the little carriage would be heavily loaded with more than a week's supply of fancy clothing, and of course Georgiana's sheet

  music and tuning gear.

  Elizabeth accompanied Georgiana to her lesson the next day, but with clear instructions from Fitzwilliam that if anything seemed amiss, Mr Fielding could come to the house to speak with him whenever he needed to. Also during their stay at Netherfield, for Mrs Annesley had her instructions and she would be at the house every day during Simon's absence.

  Georgiana was eager for her lesson, but Elizabeth was afraid to find Mr Fielding in a depressed state, fallen out of grace with his patron. As they entered the room with the piano, a Zumpe according to the lettering on the front, that had to be the name of his patron then, Elizabeth could see no difference in Mr Fielding's demeanour. He was the same friendly but driven teacher he had ever been and he gladly taught Georgiana his variegated scales, a trick she picked up in five minutes. As she was happily trying her new skill, Mr Fielding joined Elizabeth on the sofa for a moment and talked to her in a low voice.

  'I have not talked to my patron, yet, he's on a business trip outside London.

  I'm not sorry about that, I'd prefer him not to connect my insubordination with my visit to your house, it will make things easier. But facing Louise is getting harder and harder.'

  'Mr Darcy sends word, Mr Fielding, if anything should happen to leave you in need of a place to stay or anything else, you can come to our house even while we're away. Talk to Mrs Annesley and she will make arrangements.

  Don't hesitate to use his offer if in need, Mr Fielding, my husband likes you and he does not make empty promises. You are welcome.'

  'Thank you very much, Mrs Darcy, both of you.'

  Then he continued their lesson as if nothing had happened, delivering on his promise to give Georgiana a load of material to practise in the country, some of it even light music, suitable for dancing. Elizabeth received instructions, too, to be vigilant for certain minor mistakes Georgiana tended to make and to point them out, even if they seemed of no consequence to herself. They were important to Georgiana.

  'You will like playing these dances, Mrs Darcy, please let Georgiana put you to work at least once a day. Let her teach you those scales, they'll stun your acquaintance and make practice much less boring. You have a talent yourself, even if you lack the inclination to develop it.'

  His instructions made it sound as if they might never meet again.

  'Miss Darcy will be here for a lesson in six days, Mr Fielding, and I will most likely join her, we're not moving to India. Everything will turn out for the best, you'll see.'

  Sitting in the cab back home Georgiana asked, 'What was Eric's martyr attitude all about? Did I miss something yesterday?'

  Deciding to just tell most of the truth, Elizabeth summarised quickly.

  'He's having trouble with his patron, who is trying to keep Mr Fielding stuck where he is now, playing concerts on the pianos his patron wants to sell, teaching. Contrary to Mr Fielding's expectations, his patron doesn't want him to reach the top, but rather marry him off to his daughter, apparently a nice but uneducated girl. He even mentioned you as the example of what a woman should be. Ambitious, mostly. Worst of all, Georgiana, his patron doesn't like Mr Fielding's compositions, at all. Wants him to stop writing his own music and just play complicated music made by other composers. Mr Fielding asked our advice, actually mostly Fitzwilliam's I guess. You would have been proud of your brother, he advised Mr Fielding to be honest to his patron, and if that got him sent off, to come to us. He didn't promise him a career, just a place to stay and a way to keep himself fed, and the possibility of a new patron. But he admonished Mr Fielding to stay put until his patron sent him away, and stay polite, to protect Fitzwilliam's reputation. You can imagine your teacher being a bit nervous, having to refuse his patron's daughter, whom he loves as a sister, and tell him he's going to keep composing, and start playing his music to audiences.

  But if he gets kicked out, Mrs Annesley knows to take him in, and he knows he's welcome. I just told him. Don't tell him you know, he'd be mortified.

  And better keep Fitzwilliam in the dark, too. He knows we share confidences and he doesn't mind, though he doesn't exactly like it, I suppose. He wants us both to confide in him, of course, as we used to do.'

  'I wouldn't have confided the things I told you to Fitzwilliam before I had you. Until just after you and I first met, we'd never really talked, my brother and I. He was like a strict father, not exactly inviting confidences. I had to keep those things to myself and that was very painful, it makes me so very happy to have someone to share them with now. If Fitzwilliam didn't hold power over my future I'd confide in him totally, as long as he does, there will be certain things I cannot tell him.'

  'He understands, and I think it pains him more that I keep things from him. I

  promised to tell him everything I had on my mind, but I never imagined there would be things that weren't mine to tell. Yet here we are, and I have to keep some things from him that are yours to decide on. But anyway, now you know why Mr Fielding was nervous at the last moment, and why we talked while you practised.'

  'He will be famous you know, whatever happens. One cannot stop a talent like that, it comes out despite all attempts to hinder it. Somehow I'm glad he's not getting married. Strange, but true. Thank you for telling me, I'll keep quiet.'

  That subject done with, Elizabeth moved on to the coming trip.

  'Are you ready for tomorrow, Georgiana?'

  'I am, but I'm glad your father will be there. He has been very good to me, another soldier in my army against Wickham. As are those lovely gowns, I felt worth millions dressed up like that.'

  'Good girl, you'll turn into a city girl yet. Do you think Mr Fielding seriously wants me to practise those scales and those dances with you
?'

  'Eric never jokes about anything connected to music, I'm sure he means it, and I will not be surprised if he lets you play them for him next time I have a lesson. He won't scold you if you fail, but he'll look at you in a certain way that will make you feel very small.'

  Then looking at her sister.

  'On the other hand, maybe he will not. You are a true lady these days, he may not dare to look at you that way. But he will make you play them for him, he did yesterday with people watching, he can do it.'

  'In that case, you'd better show me how to play those scales, I like the effect.

  And dances are always fun to play.'

  Darcy visited his lawyer that very morning, to ask his advice about becoming a patron.

  'Can you please find out the legal implications of a patronage? There is a musician I would like to support, but I have no idea what would be expected of me in such a situation.'

  'I will do some research, Mr Darcy, and you will hear my results by the time you return to London. I suppose there are no set rules for a patronage, though, you might have us make up a contract, or a document to clarify the mutual expectations, but I don't think that is customary. Usually there is merely a gentlemen's agreement between the two parties involved.

  However, I will find out.'

  Well, that was a bit of an anticlimax, apparently one could just call oneself patron and hand out alms to one's protégé. That was not how Darcy had imagined a patronage, he'd take it seriously and set a goal for both parties to strive for. He'd amuse himself the coming days writing down a few of those, and if Mr Rivers could not find any definition of patronage they could use those goals as guidelines. And most probably Mr Fielding would be able to repair his broken connection to his current patron and none of it would be needed. Still it was always better to be prepared for the worst.