Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  'So he did that because he loved you so much? That is so romantic, Lizzy!

  And you decided to marry him since you couldn't marry Wickham anyway and Mr Darcy loved you and was very rich?'

  Patience, Elizabeth, try to explain. There would never be a better chance to catch Lydia's attention. Use the romance angle.

  'No Lydia, I didn't marry him for his money. Nor because he loved me so much and hurt so much over me. I didn't even know that then for he only told me later. When I found out Mr Darcy was not the worthless man Mr Wickham had told me he was, but in fact a very good man, who helps people just because he can, like he helped you marry Mr Wickham, I started to become interested in him. And he was very nice to me, to aunt and uncle Gardiner, and even to you, a girl he didn't know at all. His staff, his sister, everyone loved him so much, I slowly started to see his worth and I fell in love with him. And now we are very happy together, Lydia, we love each

  other very much. I didn't marry him for you, or because I had to, I married him because I had come to love him.'

  And now she was at it, better tell her the truth about Wickham as well.

  'I will talk to Mr Wickham, Lydia, though I have not liked him since I found out he had lied to me about Mr Darcy treating him unfairly. But you are my sister and I want you to be happy, so I will be polite to him and convince him to let you have your baby. However, Lydia, do not think I love him or have ever loved him, I do not envy you your husband for I love my own much better. Watch us if you still don't believe me, I'm sure you recognise love when you see it.'

  Actually, she could not, or she would know Wickham didn't love her. But Lydia believing her sister married a spoiled rich noble under pressure was too damaging to everyone involved.

  'Now let's go back to the party, I will talk to Mr Wickham as soon as possible, you enjoy yourself dancing while you still can. Once you have a baby, everything will change.'

  'That's what my friend Janet said, I wish you could come to visit and meet her, and the others. They often talk like you and Jane used to do, telling me to pay attention and take heed, but somehow it's easier to believe when it's not my sisters saying it. Thank you ever so much, dear Lizzy, I'm happy now. I'll show Wickham I will be the best mother in the world to our baby and he will be so proud of me.'

  When they returned, the gentlemen were in the drawing-room and coffee was being served. Fitzwilliam immediately came towards her, he wanted to kiss her but he wouldn't in company, though of course Lydia ran at her husband and kissed him in delight. Wickham didn't show embarrassment anymore, just resignation. This time, Elizabeth could understand Lydia's show of affection, she had been worried and now she felt relieved, and she just could not control her feelings like a normal gentleman's daughter.

  A beloved voice addressed her.

  'I suppose you can use a cup of coffee, whatever that was about?'

  She smiled at Fitzwilliam and acknowledged her need for a heartening beverage, adding, 'Let's sit in an empty corner for a moment, I need a bit of quiet and a loving touch, as well as a cup of coffee, to bring me back to the party-spirit.'

  Even with so many people in one place it was possible to retreat for a few

  moments, and Darcy signalled a servant to bring coffee, then led his beloved to a relatively secluded spot in the room, the piano stool.

  Georgiana was chatting with Mr and Mrs Gardiner, in the company of Jane and Kitty, and Mr Grenfell was talking to Miss Bingley once again, gesticulating broadly. It seemed as if Georgiana had nothing to fear of him, he didn't pay the slightest attention to her, he seemed totally preoccupied by the groom's sister, who looked ravishing in a revealing dress of the deepest green silk. Mr Manners was in discussion with his friends, Bingley included, but he seemed to be keeping an eye on Georgiana and his friend Grenfell.

  Which in the case of Mr Manners was not disconcerting, but actually a reassuring thought.

  A cup of coffee in hand, Darcy and Elizabeth sat side by side on the piano stool, not very comfortable but very intimate. Elizabeth took his hand, and in a low voice dropped her bombshell.

  'Lydia thinks she is with child. She's had several occurrences that prove it, according to her friends at the camp.'

  And as Darcy stared at her in abhorrence, the girl had just turned seventeen and hadn't even been married half a year, his beloved dropped the next.

  'Wickham wants her to take ergot and get rid of it. Apparently he said she is too young to take care of a baby. But this was before they came here, I hope our talk yesterday has changed his mind.'

  'She ís too young to care for a child,' Darcy commented, obviously shocked,

  'but she is also much too young to die in agony. How did she react, did she cry?'

  'She did, she wants a baby desperately because she is afraid he will be killed in action and she wants his child to remember him by.'

  Darcy shook his head, 'Girls.. I'm glad you don't have your head stuffed full of romantic notions. Are you going to confront him?'

  'Of course I am, he is trying to kill my baby-sister. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind, and depending on his reply I may even threaten him with the law. I suppose eternal damnation won't make an impression on him.'

  'No it won't. Remember him yesterday? All depressed and misunderstood?'

  Elizabeth nodded.

  'Well, when we were having our brandy just now he was his good old self, outgoing, well-mannered and very entertaining. I think only Manners saw through him straight away, and he saved me from feeling left out by giving me an honest account of my sister's interaction with Mr Grenfell, as far as

  he had seen it. He supported her opinion that she was being hunted. I asked him to visit for Christmas and he accepted eagerly. You know Georgiana says he's not in love with her, but I'm inclined to think he's just not the kind to fall head over heels in love, for he spoke of her with sincere affection. He keeps growing on me, Elizabeth, he's not handsome but that is the only thing I can hold against him. He says he's an avid sportsman, he loves fishing as well. If I were to invite him to Pemberley, would that keep you from going along on a hunt?'

  'I don't think so, love, I really want to ride astride and join you in the hunt.

  But what about Lydia?'

  'Don't worry, love, I think you have prepared Mr Wickham for the arrival of a little Elizabeth or a little George well enough. You talk to him and he'll tell you he'll spend his last penny on a superb nurse. I don't like George Wickham, Elizabeth, but I think he will be an excellent father, he's not cruel or unfeeling. He just has bad morals, and a nanny, and later a governess, can do quite a lot to compensate for that. And anyway, you cannot prevent them from having children, though I'm sure you can prevent your brother-in-law from feeding his wife ergot. Come, let's join the crowd, I think the dancing is about to start.'

  As it turned out, the orchestra had managed to make it to Netherfield after all, and soon they were all assembled on the dance floor, eager to follow the happy newly-weds into the first dance. Elizabeth really was the most beautiful lady of the whole party, excepting the new Mrs Bingley. But no, frankly not. To Darcy, his wife was actually more beautiful than his sister-in-law, Jane might be more beautiful from the outside, but in Elizabeth a fire burned that to Darcy would always set her apart from every other woman in the world. And he was not the only man to admire her, every man looked at least twice at his beloved in her exceptional dress, which made him very proud to have such a beautiful woman at his side, actually in love with him.

  As Jane and Bingley led all the couples into the first dance, it was clear Elizabeth was thinking of the last time they danced together at a ball, in this same room.

  'I'm still so embarrassed at the spectacle my relatives made of themselves,'

  she whispered to Darcy, who clearly remembered that night. He remembered Mr Collins introducing himself, not at all getting Darcy's hints to be done with it after ten minutes of discourse on Lady Catherine's

  magnificence, and Mrs Bennet s
peculating loudly about the upcoming marriage of Miss Bennet and Bingley. But those memories had lost their meaning, generally Darcy would dare say all the people involved had gained some decorum, including himself, though Mrs Bennet was probably only momentarily influenced for the better by her sister-in-law Mrs Gardiner, who would not encourage her to be as boisterous as her younger daughters.

  And frankly, Georgiana was making the most of being among the girls, Maria had made it to the party after all and the three girls were paired off with some of Bingley's friends, Mr Manners, of course, the French fellow, and the thin, dark popinjay.

  No, the memory that still had some hold over Darcy was that of dancing with Elizabeth, more than a little love-struck, hardly able to bring out a word from feeling, and her trying to get him to talk with piquant remarks on his person. How could he not have realised that she disliked him intensely?

  It was actually painful to remember every sentence, every word they had exchanged, for now he realised again how his behaviour towards her had fed her dislike of him, the disdain with which he spoke of Wickham without explaining, his coldness when she persisted, he could have paid her a compliment, or said something nice! Instead he had tried to enjoy their moments together in silence, making her even more uncomfortable.

  'I suppose you were reviewing all your memories, too,' she said, laughing.

  'And beating yourself up about something you did, if I know your facial expressions at all by now.'

  Her smile was worth millions, she had developed so much since that evening at the ball, and she would never stop learning, keeping him on his toes in the process.

  'You caught me, love, I was reviewing my memories of the ball, and I wondered how I never suspected your intense dislike of me, you made it so very clear how you felt, how could I have missed it? If only I had tried to make myself agreeable to you, I could have explained about Wickham, I could have said something nice, like, 'Miss Elizabeth, you look ravishing as usual. Would you allow me to visit you and talk about books or ramble along a few lanes together?' I really thought you'd order your wedding dress if I did that.'

  'Miss Bingley would have, my love, as well as plenty of other young ladies of your acquaintance. Please don't make yourself unhappy over the past, you didn't know me at all, how could you have known I was serious? Though if

  it was all a ploy to catch you, I must have had a strange notion of what men liked to hear, for I was really nasty to you. I'm ashamed to remember, truly.'

  She squeezed his hand and shook her head as if to clear it of memories, then said gaily, 'Let's just forget the whole affair and be glad things worked out against the odds, and celebrate our union, and that of Jane and Bingley.

  They must be so very happy!'

  And they did, for at least four dances, mostly in silence, allowing Darcy to relish dancing with the woman of his dreams this time. Until Mr Bennet claimed his daughter.

  'Come Darcy, you have her to yourself all the time, let a poor father have a dance with his beautiful daughter before you take her away from him again.'

  Of course he let his beloved out of his hands for a while, to find Miss Bingley eyeing him wistfully. Pretending not to notice he checked on his sister, who was dancing with Mr Manners, he was certainly a very good dancer, he looked very agile and he led very strongly. Georgie clearly liked to dance with him. Wickham was dancing with Kitty, and Lydia with Grenfell, trust her to pick the handsomest man of the lot. Oh well, better get it over with then.

  'Miss Bingley, would you care to dance the next dance with me?'

  She was pleased and she looked rather nice, but Darcy could not remember why he had ever liked her. He had to have been a different man himself, she was so mean, and so petty. But, she was elegant and a good dancer, the dance would be over in but a moment.

  'Mr Darcy, I guess you're still the handsomest man of my acquaintance, your valet has outdone himself tonight. And you've done wonders with Miss Elizabeth, she has been so lady-like these last few days.'

  Well, at least Miss Bingley hadn't changed, still as mean as ever.

  'She has, hasn't she? I'll be glad to have her to myself again, she's taking her new role as Mrs Darcy of Pemberley so seriously, I really have to work hard to get an impertinent remark or a few kisses out of her in public. Fortunately I'm not above begging.'

  The mention of 'Mrs Darcy' and 'Pemberley' really hit the mark, that hurt, Miss Bingley would not deliver veiled insults against his beloved wife again. To complete the whole, he threw a yearning look at Elizabeth as she passed them in the dance, and got a big wink in return.

  After that, Miss Bingley wisely changed the subject, and to Darcy's immense joy she talked about Grenfell admiring her.

  'He is so handsome and such an excellent sportsman, and I do believe we have the exact same taste in literature. He has a magnificent house in town, and he tells me his estate is just waiting for a lady's touch. So charming!'

  Darcy nodded, and asked, 'Did he offer to teach you how to ride?'

  'How did you know? He did, but I told him I don't like horses, the smell gets into everything, Charles always smells of horse.'

  As did Darcy, as would Grenfell once the snow melted. But Grenfell apparently really wanted his future bride to ride, he was not trying to get into Georgiana's good graces by offering her instruction.

  'But not today, Miss Bingley, today your brother smelled of lavender and happiness. See them dance together once more.'

  As groom, Bingley had to accept every man wanting to dance with the bride, and he bore it admirably, dancing with every lady in the room in turns until he could hold his beloved wife in his arms again.

  When the dance ended Darcy did not offer to continue to dance with Miss Bingley, but sat one out with Mr and Mrs Gardiner instead. They observed the couples, and commented on the usual happenings until Mrs Gardiner remarked, 'Your sister has grown up so fast since last summer, Mr Darcy, she seems to have gotten over her shyness altogether, see her dance so easily with Mr Wickham. Though of course he's not a total stranger to her, you all more or less grew up together, didn't you?'

  Darcy experienced a certain shock at seeing Wickham with his sister, but Mrs Gardiner was right, they looked like two young people who grew up together. Georgiana, who was usually shy like himself, was dancing with the man whom she should rightly hate, and she seemed entirely comfortable doing so.

  Which was totally true. After dancing with Mr Manners for quite some time, they had so much to talk about and he was such a good dancer, he rather upset her, just when they were about to part to dance with someone else for a change. As Wickham approached casually, obviously to ask her to stand up with him, Mr Manners whispered, 'You're not going to dance with him, are you, after what he did to you?'

  That was such a shock, how could he know? She could not imagine her brother or Elizabeth talking, and Jane was discretion itself, there was no way she'd have told Mr Manners. No-one else knew.

  'I'm sorry, Miss Darcy, I've upset you. Will you please forgive my

  indiscretion, and my jealous remark? I really care for you but I have no right to patronize you, please forgive me.'

  He did look very repentant and he was so charming, what could Georgiana do but tell him he was forgiven and save the puzzle of how he knew for later? For now, she was going to dance, and certainly not with Wickham, not because he still had power over her, but because she wanted to dance with her brother, indeed the handsomest man of them all. She looked around to find him, only to see Mr Grenfell coming straight at her from the opposite side of where Wickham was nearing. This could not be happening! She had been planning to amuse herself at this celebration, only to find herself dodging mercenaries from the past and the present? Choosing instantly, she turned to face Wickham with a smile, and he bowed and offered his hand, undoubtedly expecting to surprise her but finding her ready and even eager to dance with him instead. He was a very able dancer, not as strong a lead as Mr Manners, but good enough, and he was saving her from
Mr Grenfell.

  'Miss Darcy, Georgiana, thank you for honouring me with a dance. I always knew you'd turn out incredibly well eventually, your mother was stunningly beautiful and I suppose even Lady Catherine had her days of being the belle of the ball.'

  He was good at flattery, she had to admit, but she was not letting him off the hook so easily.

  'So you dared take the chance of eloping with a gangly, skinny girl, expecting her to bloom in a few years?'

  He probably did not expect her to be so frank, but Georgiana had learned a lot from Elizabeth, and never before had those pert remarks come to her so easily. She really had grown, and not just in beauty. Her quick thinking and frank demeanour surprised him, but only for a few seconds, after which he replied readily, with his usual captivating softness and even some remorse.

  'You must hate me for what I did, but you know I would have been a good husband to you, I did feel a certain love for you. And you certainly loved me.'

  Georgiana was surprisingly calm as she formulated her own thoughts, and told him exactly what months of contemplation had made her realise. For once, she was able to say exactly what she wanted to.

  'For a few years you would have treated me like a princess, George, until you had spent all my money. Then you would have complained to my brother and asked for more. And you know as well as I do that I didn't love

  you like that, but merely as a brother, a love you perverted into something that suited you. I have never known the kind of love you refer to, I see it before me every day in Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth, and it is a love I hope to feel one day, in all its depth and intensity, but I'm sure I never have, not yet.

  So far I merely love Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth, as my brother and sister, as I once loved you.'

  Such a good feeling, such relief to have given him a piece of her mind! He felt it, too, somehow mentioning love and her brother and Elizabeth in one sentence hurt Wickham. Good, he deserved it.