Emergence (Awakening Series Book 2)

by Hayes, Olivia

  I heard muffled voices as I descended to the kitchen, rounding the corner into the living room.

  "What the fuck are you doing here?" I heard Carson ask. "She doesn't want to see you."

  I saw Carson's shoulders filling up the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, legs spread in a defensive pose. That's when I heard his voice.

  Walking toward the door I lifted my hand to Carson's shoulder and he turned towards me, his face set in a grimace, ready to defend me if I needed him.

  "Just give me a few minutes," I said to him, taking his hand and giving him a reassuring smile.

  I watched the tension leave his face as he squeezed my hand in his and walked back towards the kitchen while I turned to face my unwelcome visitor.

  "Derek, what are you doing here?"

  "Louise, you look amazing."

  I bristled at the use of my proper name as I crossed my arms and asked him again. "What are you here for, Derek?"

  "I miss you. You won't take any of my calls, you don't respond to my texts. This was my last resort. I have some things to say, and I hoped that we could just talk. Please, will you hear me out?"

  As much as I didn't care what he had to say, I knew I was never going to get him completely out of my life until I listened to whatever it was and sent him on his way.

  "Fine. I'm listening."

  "Can I come in?"

  "Derek, this isn't my house. Just spit out whatever you came to say and let's get this over with."

  He searched my face for a moment and after seeing that I meant business, he started to talk.

  "Louise, I miss you. Remember how good things were between us in the beginning, before you started working and all that?"

  "You mean back when I didn't have a life besides being at your beck and call every second of the day?"

  I raised my eyebrow at him.

  "That's not what I meant, but yes, things were so good then. We never fought; we were happy. Can't we get that back?"

  "Derek, I don't think I was happy, I was just content. I didn't have any friends or anything to do. All I did was schoolwork and housework. Once I started working I realized how much happier I was that I had something to occupy my time, but it was like you couldn't handle that you had no control over that part of my life. You didn't like Liz on principal, just because working for her took me away from you."

  "Charlie told me your place burned down, and I know you've been living here with someone, but I want you to come home. I'll take care of you and you won't have to work. Everything can go back to the way it was."

  "Did you hear me when I said I wasn't happy then? Plus, what about Carly? Or, did you not think about her?" I practically spat my words at him.

  "Of course I thought about her. Look, I'm going about this all wrong," he said. "I've been seeing a therapist ever since you left. It turns out I have a lot of issues."

  I huffed at that. It wasn't news to me.

  "My therapist thinks a lot of it stems from my mother's interference in our relationship. You know how my mother was always overly involved in my life. I know you thought I escaped that when we moved to Virginia, but there were so many times you were blissfully unaware of her interference in our relationship.

  "She constantly called and reminded me of what a good wife should do and continually pointed out all your flaws. She thought you should be home taking care of me, instead of working, she thought you should be giving me babies instead of going to school and I let her come between us."

  I rolled my eyes as he continued.

  "Anyway, the point is that I never could think for myself because my mother was always in my head. Now that I realize it, I've gotten better at tuning her out. I know I've made countless mistakes where you're concerned, but you aren't blameless either."

  "Derek, regardless of your mother, you called me every name in the book. You cheated on me, you let me think that I was infertile, you called me a slut, and when we got divorced, you basically got away scott free. I can forgive you, but I can't forget how much you hurt me."

  "You hurt me too, you know," he said as I re-crossed my arms and shifted my weight from one foot to the other, glaring at him. "Look, I didn't come here to argue with you over who did what to whom. What I really want to do is figure out how we move forward. I miss you, and I love you. I want you to come home with me. I want to take care of you."

  "Derek, Savannah is my home now. Carly and I are happy here. We don't need you to take care of us."

  "I know you don't need me to, Lou, but I want to. I want us to be together again. We were meant to be, you and me."

  "And Carly?" I asked him.

  "Of course. I've always wanted to be a father," he said, almost as if an afterthought.

  "Because it sounds like she's an afterthought for you Derek. Like if it means you can get me back, you'll take her too. She doesn't need someone in her life that doesn't want her with their whole heart."

  "Look Louise, just think about it? I'm staying at the Marriott until Sunday. Room 317. Just call me or stop by when you decide. I want this to work between us, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

  He stepped up and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  "I'll be waiting to hear from you," he said, walking back down the sidewalk.

  "Lou," I heard from behind me and turned to find Carson in the hallway.

  "Hey," I said. "I'm so sorry about that. Charlie must have told him where I was."

  "What did he want?" he asked as he closed the door behind me and led me to the living room.

  "He says he's changed and he thinks we should give our relationship another chance. He said he wants me back. Carly too. He wants us to come to Virginia with him and..."

  "Stop," Carson said, putting his finger to my lips. "Before you say anything else, there are some things I want to say to you."

  I closed my mouth and focused on his gorgeous green eyes as he began to speak.

  "You and Carly mean the world to me, Lou. I love you so much. And I love Carly just as much as if she were my own daughter. I can't imagine my life without the two of you in it. I know Carly needs her father, but that guy? Derek? He has been nothing but a total dick to you.

  "I mean, where has he been all this time? While you've been dealing with the fallout from the fire? Who can just abandon the people he says he loves like that?

  "He doesn't love you, he doesn't support you, and he sure as hell doesn't deserve you. But I love you, and I support you, and I may not deserve you, but I want you and Carly more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life. Stay with me."

  The anguish in his voice brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't imagine ever leaving Carson. I knew I had to tell him the rest of my story so he would understand the depth of my conviction to never let Derek be in my life again.

  "Carson, there are some things I haven't told you about my relationship with Derek. Reasons why I would never, in a million years, consider spending another moment of my time with him... He was unfaithful and abusive, sexually, mentally, and emotionally. We got married as soon as I was out of high school and I thought we'd be together forever, and for a while, everything was fine, but I was naive to think it would stay that way, and eventually things went downhill fast.

  "For a while we tried to get pregnant. As months went by and it didn't happen he became abusive sexually, and I tried not to let it negatively affect me when he held me down and forced me, I didn't even fight him. After over a year of trying to have a baby we received word from our fertility doctor that we wouldn't be able to conceive naturally. Derek blamed me and he went on a rampage. He insulted me regularly, demeaning me in any way he could, but he did stop forcing sex on me."

  Carson had wrapped me in his arms, but he tensed against me as I continued talking.

  "I was devastated. Even though I had told Derek I wasn't sure starting a family at that point in our lives was a good idea, I still knew I wanted to have children someday. Finding out I would never be able to carry a child was h
eartbreaking, and Derek stood over me, judging me and calling me every name in the book, when all I wanted was someone to comfort me.

  "I think it was that moment that the fracture in our relationship started to spread rapidly. I could handle the anger, because I felt it too, I wanted to rage against something, anything to take away the pain in my heart over never being able to conceive, but I never, in all my life, thought that I would become the target of Derek's wrath.

  "It became painfully obvious that the fact we would never have children was a breaking point for Derek. He started sleeping with every woman who looked at him twice and he didn't care if I knew it. I made one more attempt to save us when I suggested marriage counseling, but when he only showed up to the first session, and basically cussed out the counselor, saying she was taking my side on all our issues, that was the last straw. I started planning the rest of my life.

  "When I found an ad online for the position at Foster & Company it seemed too good to be true. I had all the qualifications I needed except my degree, which I was on track to complete by the end of that year, and moving to Savannah would be a fresh start, and it was far enough away from Derek that he wouldn't be able to check up on me whenever he wanted.

  "When I came to Savannah to do the interview I never expected to have my whole world turned upside down overnight, but that's exactly what happened. I walked into that pub expecting to grab a bite to eat, maybe a couple of drinks, but then you were standing there, and my whole body yearned to be closer to you. And after the night we spent together, I knew I could never go back to Derek. I'd already started breaking free of him, but being with you, having you hold me, and discovering what it could really be like between a man and a woman... I knew after that night that I would never be the same."

  Carson's eyes searched mine as he pulled me closer to him. Resting my cheek against his chest I continued to tell him about the months before I moved to Savannah.

  "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, baby. It makes me want to go find him and beat his ass. I don't understand how he could treat you like shit, shame you for being unable to conceive, and then when by some miracle you ended up pregnant, still just let you walk away like that. How could he just let Carly and you go?"

  I pulled back from his embrace, holding onto his biceps as his hands rested at my waist. I gathered all my courage and finally told him the one thing I knew would change everything.

  "Carson, Derek is sterile. Carly's not his."

  Chapter 36

  1 year ago

  Lou

  "Good morning Lou, how've you been?" Dr. Roland asked me, walking into the exam room.

  Doctor Roland had been my gynecologist since I moved to Virginia. I hated my yearly check-ups. They were so invasive, but yet necessary to ensure I was healthy.

  "Good morning Doctor."

  "Any questions or concerns today?" she asked, looking up from my file.

  "Nothing I can think of," I said, smiling at her.

  "Okay. So, when was your last period?"

  "I remember one in March, but I've been so stressed out. I can't remember one since then."

  "Hmm," she said, picking up my urine sample and putting a couple of sticks in it. "I'll just make sure you're not pregnant."

  "I can't get pregnant. Dr. Winters ran a bunch of tests that showed I have some issues."

  Doctor Roland had written the referral to Doctor Winters when I had told her that Derek and I were having problems. I had always meant to call the office and find out exactly what my problems were, but with Derek acting like a maniac, it had really been the last thing on my mind, and it certainly wouldn't make anything better to know the extent of my fertility issues.

  "That's not what's in my file," she said, picking it up from the desk where she'd laid it. "Ah, yes, here it is right here. Looks like everything is in working order for you, but your husband has a negligible sperm count."

  "What?"

  I was shocked. I couldn't believe that Derek would let me think that I was the problem when it was really him. All that time I spent feeling like I was half of a woman because I couldn't carry a child, and that was never the case. Derek let me mourn the fact that I would never be a mother. He watched me cry day after day until I finally accepted my fate. How could he ever say he loved me when he allowed me to live through that, knowing all the while that it was his lies that were the cause of my grief?

  "I'm happy to report that you're perfectly fertile. In fact," she said, spinning around on her stool to face me after checking the stick in my urine, "according to this, you're pregnant. Congratulations!"

  "How can that be if Derek...."

  My voice trailed off as I realized exactly what had happened. I'd stop taking my birth control pills because I was trying to get pregnant, and then after we got the results of the tests I'd never bothered taking them again. I'd slept with Carson without even thinking about it. I was going to have Carson's baby.

  I called Liz as soon as I was in the car, already making plans to pack all my belongings and leave my house that night. Liz agreed to let me stay with them until the baby was born, and that was a huge weight off my shoulders.

  The very next day I Googled some lawyers and started the process of getting a divorce from Derek.

  As the months passed, I started to get really nervous about my future. I knew Liz would let me stay on as a nanny for as long as I was in Virginia, but I didn't think I could support myself and my baby girl on the money I made there, and I certainly couldn't live with Liz forever.

  I had just gotten back to Liz's house with a carload of groceries when my cell phone rang, bringing me the news I'd desperately been waiting for.

  "Hello?"

  "Ms. Evans? This is Dave Almeida calling from Foster & Company. I'm pleased to be offering you the position you interviewed for in March of this year."

  My heart skipped a beat as his words sank in, and I realized I was going to be okay. I would find a place to rent in Savannah and move there after the baby was born.

  I finished up my call with Mr. Almeida and was daydreaming about my new life when a tapping on my window snapped me back to reality and I looked up to see Derek standing next to my car. I tossed my phone back in my purse as he opened the door for me to climb out.

  "What do you want Derek?" I asked, stepping around him to get some grocery bags out of the back seat.

  "I just came to talk," he said. "Here, let me help you with some of these bags."

  Derek picked up two armloads of bags and followed me into Liz's house. As soon as I set my bags down in the kitchen I turned to him.

  "Thanks for your help Derek. What did you want to talk about?" I asked as I started to put the groceries away.

  He reached behind himself and brought out a thick packet of folded papers.

  "It's the divorce papers. I wanted to go over a couple of things with you regarding our investments and joint accounts."

  I sighed, really having hoped that he would just accept the terms I laid out in the initial filing. Unwinding my scarf from my neck, I pulled off my winter coat, tossing it onto one of the chairs.

  "Okay, let's talk," I said.

  Derek was staring at me, not saying anything.

  "Derek?"

  He slowly lifted his hand and gestured to my obvious belly.

  "Are you...?"

  "Yes, I'm pregnant."

  He took a step back from me, his eyes widening with shock.

  "You... that's not..." he ran his hands through his hair a couple times, his eyes wide as he started to pace the floor. "Cheating bitch," he said quietly, almost quiet enough that I didn't hear him. Then he said it again, louder, and I watched as his eyes changed from soft brown to black with fury. "You're nothing but a slut! I knew you were running around on me. All those late nights you said you were watching the kids for Liz, sometimes overnight even. You said you were taking trips with their family while instead you were fucking someone behind my back the whole time!"

 
My anger overwhelmed me listening to him go on about something he knew nothing about. I had been faithful to him our entire marriage until it fell apart right in front of me. In my mind our marriage was over well before I met Carson, and Derek had already stepped out on me by then.

  "You're not going to get a dime from me. Do you hear me? I'm calling my lawyer and we're going to renegotiate the terms of the divorce so you get nothing. That's what cheaters get," he growled.

  "How do you know it's not yours Derek?" I asked, pointing a finger at his chest.

  "It can't be," he admitted, confirming what I already knew. My anger skyrocketed at his obvious disregard for the lies he told me.

  "Finally, the truth comes out," I snarled.

  "Yeah, I'm a liar and you're a cheating bitch who's knocked up with some bastard kid."

  I reeled at Derek's words, my hands clenching into tight fists.

  "Leave my baby out of this! Your lies were the catalyst that created the life inside me, Derek, you're no innocent in all this. And just remember, you cheated first, and more often," I reminded him.

  "Prove it," he said, snatching the papers off the table and stalking out the door.

  Several days later my lawyer called saying that Derek was willing to give me half of the furniture and all my personal belongings, along with ten thousand dollars from our joint savings account. It was much less than what I asked for, but in order to get it over with, and with the advice of my lawyer, I signed the papers and closed the door on that chapter of my life, finally feeling the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders and excited about what the future held.

  Chapter 37

  Lou

  "Carson, Derek is sterile. Carly's not his."

  He pulled back from me to search my eyes. My heart was in my throat as I waited for him to react.

  "But how can that be if..."

  "Carly isn't Derek's daughter," I interrupted and then paused for a breath. "She's yours."

  Carson's mouth dropped open and his eyes searched the room before he looked back at me.

  "What did you say?" he asked.

  I tried to remember all the things I wanted to tell him, how I was going to explain what had happened and why it'd taken me so long to tell him, but I couldn't recall one single thing.