"But after she realized I wasn't a stalker or something crazy, she should have told me."
"I agree that it would have been better for her to have told you sooner, but she didn't. And you can't change that now, but I'm sure she has an explanation, or maybe with everything else going on there just wasn't a good time. That's not the kind of news you just spring on someone. What did she have to say?"
I grimaced and scratched my neck. "I really didn't give her a chance to say anything. I had to get out of there."
Caroline put her fork down and glared at me. "So how did you leave things then?"
Rolling my head around on my neck to loosen the tension I leveled my eyes with Caroline's. "I just said I needed a minute to think about it. I mean, it was completely unexpected. I love Lou, and Carly, and of course I want them in my life, for the rest of my life. I just needed to get out of there and wrap my head around the fact that I'm a father. I didn't want to say or do something I'd live to regret."
Caroline shook her head at me. "So, what are you going to do now?"
Carly and Lou had become my entire world. There was no way I could let them go. I was mad at Lou for not telling me sooner but the revelation really didn't change my plans for our future together. However it did change my feelings for her. It strengthened them tenfold.
I felt that Lou was my future the moment I met her. When I found out she was married it was like a stab to the heart. Running into her again and being able to move our relationship forward was a blessing, and learning that Carly was my daughter was more than I could ever have asked for.
Lou and Carly had claimed my heart as much as I had claimed theirs. I wanted both of them for the rest of my life and there was nothing that could stop me from getting it.
"I guess I'm going to go back to the house and talk to her about it now that I've calmed down some. But I could use your help with a few things first."
"Whatever you need," Caroline said.
Chapter 40
Carson
I pulled into the driveway of my house with Caroline behind me. Lou's car wasn't in the driveway, which was probably best for what I had planned. I climbed out of the car hoping she'd be gone for a little while at least so I'd have time to get the truck unloaded.
"Hey," I said to Caroline. "Looks like she's not home right now, but I don't know how long she's going to be out for, so let's hurry up and get everything inside."
"Okay! This is so exciting!"
I opened the bed of the truck and slid out the big box that held the cherry wood crib I'd purchased earlier this evening. "Why don't you grab the bedding and whatever else you can carry. I'll come back for the changing table and the rocking chair."
Caroline grabbed as much as she could and we headed for the door and up to Caroline's old room. The sight that greeted me stopped me in my tracks causing me to lose my grip on the crib box. It slid out of my hands and crashed to the floor as I looked around the empty room.
"No," I said to myself before running to my room and finding Lou's clothes gone from my closet as well.
My first thought was that she couldn't have gone far. I tried not to panic, pulling out my phone to send her a text.
I just noticed all your things are gone. Where did you go?
"What's going on Carson?" Caroline asked, coming into my room.
"Lou's gone. All her stuff is gone."
"Did you call her?"
I pulled out my phone and dialed her number, getting her voicemail.
"Hey, it's Carson. Please call and let me know where you are."
A moment later a thought struck me in the gut. Derek.
"Caroline, I have to go. Do what you can here while I go find her."
"No worries, I'll call in reinforcements."
I walked back out the front door, my heart pounding in my chest, and headed straight for the Marriott. I knew she'd never go back to Derek, but maybe she'd gone to talk to him.
When I arrived I practically threw my keys at the valet and raced up to the room I'd overheard Derek say he was staying in, pounding on the door.
"What is it?" Derek asked, opening the door. Then his eyes widened when he saw it was me.
"Are they here?" I demanded.
"Who?" he asked me, smugly.
"Don't fucking mess with me dude. Are. They. Here?"
Just then I heard a woman's voice from inside the room. My blood started boiling at the thought of Lou being in there, subjected to more of Derek's bullshit. I shoved the door aside and made my way into the room to find some trashy blonde laying naked in a disarray of sheets.
"Hey man, what the fuck? You can't just come barging in here like that," Derek said from behind me. "She isn't here, okay? She stopped by, but that was hours ago."
"What did she say?" I demanded.
Derek sighed. "She said we weren't getting back together. She was pretty adamant, especially after she heard Ella here talking to me."
I couldn't imagine what might have gone through Lou's head when she came here to talk to Derek and found out he had a woman in his bed mere hours after he'd been begging her to come back to him.
"You're a fucking idiot you know that? You never deserved her," I told him.
"Oh yeah, and I guess you're just her Prince Charming then, willing to take her on, bastard child and all that?"
My hand balled into a fist and I had to fight with myself not to punch him out.
"You listen to me, you sorry sack of shit. Lou is the most loving, caring, selfless person I know and she and Carly are the center of my universe. Even before I knew she was mine I loved that baby with all my heart."
Derek's eyes widened as my words sunk in. "You're Carly's father? You're the bastard that broke up my marriage?"
I laughed, finding humor in his words. "I am Carly's father, but I had nothing to do with breaking up your marriage. It was over before I ever met Lou. I'm sure she's told you that already, and I won't apologize for the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Get out," he sneered.
"Fine. But don't even think about trying to convince them to leave with you again, do you understand? They are my family, not yours," I said to him, jabbing him in the chest.
"You can have them," he said, trying to get the last word in.
I rolled my eyes at him as I stormed past him and out the door. Douche.
After getting back in my truck I drove around town looking for her car at some of her favorite stores and restaurants, but I came up with nothing.
It was starting to get late, almost 10pm and I realized I probably wasn't going to find her that night. My pulse was pounding and I felt helpless. The last place I could think to look was Reece's place. I prayed that Lou and Carly were there with Kelly as I drove across town to his condo.
"Hey man," Reece said opening the door. "What's up?"
"I'm looking for Lou. Have you seen her?" I asked with baited breath.
"No, we haven't seen her. Hold on, let me get Kelly," he said. "Come on into the living room."
I stepped inside, shifting my weight from one foot to the next as I waited for Kelly and Reece.
"Hey Carson," Kelly said, coming down the hall, her long blonde ponytail swaying behind her. "You haven't talked to her?"
"No, I've called and texted, but she hasn't responded."
"She called me earlier."
I breathed a sigh of relief that at least Kelly had talked to her.
"What did she say?"
"She was pretty upset. She said you asked for space and she thought it was best if she gave it to you so you'd have time to sort out what you wanted after she told you that Carly was yours."
Hearing someone else acknowledge that Carly was mine clenched at my heart. I had to get them back, and I wouldn't let anyone or anything stand in my way.
"Where did she go?"
"Virginia. She went to stay with Liz for a little while."
"Son of a bitch!" I yelled. "Why didn't she talk to me first?"
"
Carson, you have to understand, as much as she wants you to be a part of Carly's life, she wants you to have a choice. She doesn't want to force you to have either one of them in your life. You asked for space, she gave it to you. It's what you wanted. It was your choice and she is trying to respect your wishes."
"God Kelly. You're ripping my heart out. I never had a choice, not from the moment I met Lou, before Carly even existed. She was always meant to be mine. I knew it from the second I saw her. And then, when she came back into my life and brought Carly with her, I never had a choice but to love her too. I never had a choice! But I never wanted one. All I ever wanted was them."
Kelly's eyes welled with tears. "That's so beautiful Carson. You two deserve each other more than any two people I know. You need to tell her what you just told me."
"Thanks Kelly," I said, giving her a hug.
I walked back to my truck feeling lighter. Lou hadn't run away, she was just trying to give me the time she thought I needed. I didn't need time to figure out that I wanted them in my life, but since I had a little, I was going to make the best of it.
Pulling out my phone I texted Lou one last time before heading home.
I talked to Kelly. I'm not mad at you Lou. I love you. Both you and Carly, and I want you to come home.
**
"Caroline?" I called, racing up the stairs to her old room.
"Hey, did you find her?" she asked stepping out into the hall. "I tried to call her too, but she didn't answer."
"They went to Virginia to see her friend Liz. I'm going to go get them first thing in the morning. I'm too exhausted to drive all that way tonight."
I heard commotion just then and stepped into the bedroom to see Eva putting together the changing table. Looking around the room I then noticed Anne Marie hanging pictures on the walls while Nick and Ben looked perplexed trying to assemble the crib.
"Coming through," I heard from behind me and moved out of the way just in time for Luke to pass through the doorway with a rocking chair.
"That's not the chair I bought," I said.
"Nope. I called Mom and when I told her what was going on she insisted that Luke pick this up on his way over. She found it in the attic at our grandmother's house over the summer. Apparently it was Mom's and Aunt Jillian's when they were kids. She remembered her father used to sit there, pull them into his lap and read them stories before bed. She thought it would be perfect for Carly to have something from her daddy's side of the family."
I choked up hearing those words from Caroline. I never doubted that my family would welcome the news that Carly was my own, but hearing it confirmed was more proof that Lou and Carly belonged with me.
"Where did all this other stuff come from?" I asked.
"When Caroline called, I ran by the shop and picked up a few things we had laying around," Anne Marie said.
"Yeah, anything for you, stud," Eva added.
Anne Marie and Eva owned a business called Trash to Treasure where they repurposed or refurbished furniture and other items that were donated to them, or that they found at yard sales. It was a thriving business, and from the look of some of the items they'd brought over, I could see why.
"Thank you all. I really can't thank you enough," I said, trying not to get choked up at the idea that my daughter would be coming home to a room of her own. A room she would grow up in, get ready for her prom in, and one day leave to start her own life.
"No problem Carson. We're all happy to help," Luke said, shaking my hand.
"I need to go pack a bag," I said. "Do you think you guys can take care of all of this while I go get my family back?"
"Don't worry little brother. By the time you get home, this room will be fit for your little princess," Caroline assured me.
Chapter 41
Lou
The morning after I left Savannah I woke to Carly's soft giggles as she played in her porta-crib. I looked over to see her little eyeballs trained on me while she gurgled and chewed on the cloth covered railing.
"Look at you pulling yourself up," I said to her. "You're getting to be such a big girl!"
After Carly was born we'd lived with Liz for a couple of weeks before moving to Savannah and this had been our room. The last time we woke up together here, Carly had been so tiny she could barely do more than sleep and eat. It felt like such a long time ago, and yet, it'd gone by in a flash.
I picked up my phone to check the time and noticed I had some texts and two missed calls and a voicemail. All from Carson.
I listened to the voicemail first. "Hey, it's Carson. Please call and let me know where you are."
Checking the missed calls I saw the other one was from Caroline, but she hadn't left a message. The texts were next, both from Carson.
I just noticed all your things are gone. Where did you go?
I talked to Kelly. I'm not mad at you Lou. I love you. Both you and Carly, and I want you to come home.
My heart swelled reading that. Home. Carson was my home and I yearned to be back there with him. I texted him back quickly.
We're safe. I'm so sorry I left without talking to you first. I love you too, and we'll come home soon.
Tossing the covers back I slid out of bed, picking Carly up and changing her diaper before getting us both dressed and heading downstairs. The smell of coffee called me to the kitchen.
"There she is!" Liz said as I rounded the corner. "How'd you sleep?"
I gave her a pointed look and raised an eyebrow at her, grunting in response.
"That good huh?" she laughed.
"Yeah, my mind was going ninety miles a minute all night. I overreacted and shouldn't have left. Carson isn't the type to stay angry and even if he was, he still didn't want me to leave without talking to him. He texted me in the middle of the night and said as much.
"You know after I left Derek, got my job, had Carly and moved to Savannah, even though my life was turned upside down, I still felt confident and in control of my life and my future. I don't know what's happened since then. Reconnecting with Carson has been amazing, but there's been so much chaos lately that I've felt my confidence in myself wavering and I've been questioning my ability to take care of Carly and myself.
"I think my guilty conscience was feeding that lack of confidence or something. I can't imagine Carson not wanting Carly in his life. I should have stood my ground and stayed there to talk it out with him instead of running and now I feel like I've made a total mess. I feel like Charlie."
"Hey, you made a couple mistakes, no one can blame you for trying to protect Carly or for getting a little stuck in your head. You've been through a lot lately with the fire and trying to live at Carson's, but you are nothing like Charlie. She's a hot mess all the time, and you're just going through a phase," Liz assured me.
"Carson has done his best to make me feel at home in his house, but since I haven't gotten the insurance money from the fire yet, it's been difficult. Carly's sleeping in the porta-crib, I'm wearing borrowed clothes..." I shook my head and handed Carly over to Liz as I went to make her a bottle and get some jarred food out for her. "And speaking of Charlie, I need to call her and set her straight. She started this whole disaster of a weekend by telling Derek where to find me. Gah, I could just wring her neck!"
Liz started laughing and set Carly down in her Bumbo seat. "Here, let me feed her while you go get that call with Charlie out of the way. My kids will probably sleep for another hour so I've got time."
Thanking Liz, I left the kitchen and went out on the back porch to call my twin. Sometimes it was unfathomable that we were related. We were so different that if I didn't know better I'd swear she was switched at birth.
"Lou, I'm so glad you called," she answered.
"Charlie, what's wrong?" I asked, taking note of her morose tone.
"It's Aiden. He's cheating on me."
My heart plummeted into my stomach. I had long suspected him of being unfaithful, but hearing Charlie admit it broke my heart.
; "How do you know?
"Well, the fact that I walked into our house last night and caught him in the bed with his dick in another woman was a big indicator," she said sarcastically. "But the truth is that things haven't been that great for a while and this was really the icing on the shit cake."
"Fuck. Charlie, I'm so sorry."
"Yeah, yeah. I know you never liked him anyway. I guess now I see why. I think you'll be proud of me though. I packed up everything, took Margaret, and I'm at a hotel right now. I called Mom, and I think I'm going to drive out and stay with them for a while until I figure out what to do."
"I know it's scary, but you'll find your way. It's what we Evans girls do."
"I hope so," she said, but didn't sound convinced. "Did Derek find you?"
"God Charlie. I can't believe you told him where I was. I mean, what were you thinking?"
"I'm really sorry, Lou. I thought I was doing the right thing for both of you. Your marriage was so much like mine that I just thought if I could hold mine together, maybe you could too. From the very first time that we both started having problems with our husbands we had something to bond over. We bitched and moaned about them and I thing we were really close at that time in our lives. Then you decided to get divorced, and I was jealous that you were so easily able to make a decision like that and walk away. Even though I knew Derek gave you every reason in the book to leave him, I hated the thought that we wouldn't have anything to talk about anymore, and that if you would give it a chance, you two could get back together. I was jealous that you had the balls to walk away, and I didn't.
"It got even worse when I saw how happy you were with Carson. I wanted something like that for myself, but I was still stuck in my miserable marriage trying to figure out how to navigate the rest of my life with Aiden, instead of thinking about my happiness, but after walking in on him last night, these feelings of disgust washed over me, and then anger that he would do that to us. It was like something shifted, and I realized I wasn't stuck in this shitty relationship, that I was staying for the wrong reasons, and that he had given me cause to get out. I could leave, and I could be free to start over too. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It is scary to consider such a huge life change, but the alternative, staying in a loveless marriage to a complete dickhead, is so much worse.
Emergence (Awakening Series Book 2) Page 19