Calm to Chaos
Page 1
calm to chaos
calm to chaos
GARTH WADE
PEPPER PUBLISHING
AUSTRALIA
Copyright © Garth Wade 2016
The right of Garth Wade to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission.
A CIP catalogue reference for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.
Paperback ISBN 978-0-9953754-0-6
eBook ISBN 978-0-9953754-1-3
Printed and bound by IngramSpark/Lightning Source
eBook by KDP
www.garthwade.com.au
calm to chaos /Garth Wade - 1st ed.
Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.
—Euripides
CONTENTS
Abbreviations
18:55 hrs – Sydney - Real Love
18:55 hrs – Sebastian - An injured gazelle
18:55 hrs – Cameron - “Dear Head Honchos,”
19:01 hrs – Bravo 989 - Sebastian
19:30 hrs – Amber - Gliding collection
19:30 hrs – Morningside - Drug collection
19:35 hrs – Bravo 989 - If you spot it
19:39 hrs – Coorparoo - Broken promises...
19:55 hrs – PAH ED - Handover
20:15 hrs – Bravo 989 - Ken
2 weeks earlier – Ken - Elected
20:25 hrs – Lorraine - Bold tenacity
20:35 hrs – Seven Hills - Cherished companion
20 years earlier – Sydney - Melted father figure
21:15 hrs – Coorparoo - You mean Ken right?
15 years earlier – H&L - Circle of life
21:30 hrs – Bravo 989 - Ocean
21:55 hrs – Greenslopes - Riley
22:15 hrs – Bradley - ...karmic counterweights
22:35 hrs – PAH MH - Change of subject
1 year earlier – Riley - Parenting paradox
22:40 hrs – Bravo 989 - Bradley
23:05 hrs – PAH ED - My girlfriend
10 years earlier – Sonia - Turbi massacre
23:40 hrs – PAH ED - Green button. Blue eyes
23:50 hrs – Bravo 989 - Danielle
2 years earlier – Karen - A new connection
01:40 hrs – PAH ED - Another new connection
9 years earlier – Danielle - Promotion emotion
01:55 hrs – Lyndon - A tooth ache killed her
01:55 hrs – Amber - Mental health
01:58 hrs – PAH ED - Cameron
02:30 hrs – Lorraine - One at a time
02:55 hrs – Alpha 989 - Rain, hail or...
10 years earlier – Lyndon - Concave
04:30 hrs – Alpha 989 - Wake up!
05:35 hrs – Seven Hills - Audrey
20 years earlier – Amber - Single, self-survival
06:30 hrs – PAH ED - Debrief
07:00 hrs – Charlie 989 - Tears
8 years earlier – Sydney - Vincent
08:45 hrs – Sydney - Life is too short
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Abbreviations
ACP – advanced care paramedic
ALOC – altered level of consciousness
APO – acute pulmonary oedema
BVM – bag valve mask
c-spine – cervical spine
CPAP – continuous positive airway pressure
CPR – cardiopulmonary resuscitation
CT – computed tomography
ED – emergency department
ECG – electrocardiogram
GTN – Glycerol Trinitrate
ICP – intensive care paramedic
MD/MDMA – methylenedioxymethamphetamine
OPA – oropharyngeal airway
PA – Princess Alexandra Hospital
PEA – pulseless electrical activity
QE2 – Queen Elizabeth II Jubilee Hospital
QFRS – Queensland Fire and Rescue Service
RTC – road traffic collision
SDU – Staff Development Unit
SITREP – a situation report
TIA – transient ischemic attack
Real Love
18:55 hrs – Sydney
‘It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before—’
‘How do you know?’ she said, wedging the phone into her shoulder and flipping through the book in her lap until she found her place – Learn Spanish Rapido!
‘Because I know you, Amber, and you’ve never done anything that’s even half as much fun.’
‘Hey! I’ve done lots of fun things. Just because you don’t think they’re fun …’
‘Okay, settle down, Ms Highly Strung.’
She gave a soft snort of amusement.
‘All I’m saying is that it’s a spectacular feeling. I’m sure you’ve had heaps of fun times in your life, but you cannot have felt anything like this before.’ He heard her take a deep breath but he continued. ‘Now hold on. I don’t care that you don’t like what I like. I don’t mind that we have different hobbies. I think it’s good to have some time away from each other occasionally, you know, so we’re not living in each other’s pockets. But I did really enjoy spending the whole day with you today …’
‘So did I, even though we spent most of it in bed,’ Amber said.
‘Hey, you wanted to as much as I did,’ he said, smiling.
‘Well I wanted it more than I ever want to go skydiving, that’s for sure.’
‘I don’t object to that at all my dear.’
‘Don’t call me “dear” Sydney – you sound like my grandpa.’
There was a pause, which Syd hurried to fill. ‘So, how is the Spanish coming along? Muy bien?’
‘The Spanish is coming along very well thank you. Just because you’ve travelled to Bolivia for five minutes!’ She slipped the phone onto the sofa and put it on speaker. Syd’s voice seemed more manageable when it wasn’t in her ear.
‘Okay, okay. But I’ve said I’ll practise with you any time, hon, you know that. We’ll be chatting en Español before you know it.’
Amber could hear how much he wanted to please her, to smooth over any awkwardness between them. She stretched her legs out along the sofa. She enjoyed staying over at Syd’s townhouse, wedged into bayside Brisbane, the sky big and unhindered by tall buildings. This was one life path that she wanted to follow, to see where it led her. She watched the sky turn apricot as the sun sank towards the horizon, the light adding a warmth to her skin.
‘And Amber, you really don’t have to worry about me getting with the girls at the drop-zone, because I’m only interested in you …’
She let the silence grow.
‘… ’cause I love you.’
More silence. No reply at all. Just silence. He thought he could hear the network’s digital stopwatch ticking over as it tallied up expensive seconds for the call.
Syd reminded himself of his motto – Life is too short.
Then she sighed. ‘God, why do you have to get so … serious all of a sudden? I … love you too, you know …’
Sydney let his breath go in a long exhalation. He could feel himself smiling, all the tightness in his eyes and cheeks.
Bee-beep – bee-beep.
‘Hold on a sec,’
she said, ‘I’ve got another call.’
The silence over his phone became absolute. Syd kicked a stone and watched Cameron checking the ambulance and its supplies, being his usual responsible senior partner, making sure Syd hadn’t missed anything. His face felt hot even though the warmth was fading from the sunlight. Syd remembered when, just two weeks ago, he’d said those three special little words to Amber. She’d hugged him and murmured something unintelligible, leaving Syd completely in the dark about how she felt.
Cameron leant in at the driver’s side of the truck and fiddled with something. Syd heard a couple of beeps and realised Cam was probably logging on early. He didn’t mind; he was keen. He heard a click over the phone, then her voice: ‘Hey, I gotta go,’ Amber said abruptly.
‘Everything okay?’
‘Oh … yeah … fine. Everything’s fine. I’m, um, going round to Marcia’s later. Gotta get ready.’
Syd felt the familiar vibration on his hip, then the shrill, constant beep of the pager.
logged on – page – bravo 989 welcome to night shift—
‘Are you working tonight?’
‘Nah I’ve got two nights off. Hey, I’ve really gotta go,’ Amber said.
Another vibration.
code 2a – 17b1 – fall possibly dangerous body area – whites hill football fields – camp hill
‘That’s okay; I’ve got a job anyway.’
That familiar silence again. He thought he could hear her cogs turning.
‘What kind of job?’ she asked.
‘I thought you had to go.’
‘Just say, silly …’
‘Just a fall. Won’t know any more till I go inside to the truck.’
Another short silence – more cog turning. ‘Where is it?’
‘Why the interest all of a sudden?’
‘I care about you, that’s all.’
‘Whites Hill … they’d be playing touch footy tonight I think.’
Silence. Awkward silence.
Syd broke it. ‘So, I’ll talk to you later tonight, yeah? Are you sure everything is okay?’
Amber paused. ‘Um … yeah … I suppose … I’ll talk to you later, okay? Yeah we really need to talk.’
Cameron mouthed something at Syd – ‘We should go!’
‘Okay then, chat later! Adiós.’
He jumped into the truck, turning his attention to the next job, the next patient. The details were on the screen, and Syd felt the familiar rush, the endorphins buzzing around his brain. It was like the first jump of the day, or that first time he sat packed in tightly with all the other skydivers, collectively knowing they would all soon fling themselves from the plane into thin icy air. Such exhilaration, such lusty, addictive energy, it was a rush that Syd found impossible to explain.
An injured gazelle
18:55 hrs – Sebastian
The grass was wet and cold, but he rarely felt the fresh crunch of frost underfoot here. Sebastian could see his breath in the light streaming from the towers at each corner of the field, and heat rose from the other men’s shoulders and heads.
The Mustangs (Tuesday night A-Grade Men’s Touch Football) had a catchphrase: ‘Constant speed, forward movement and aggressive defence.’ Sebastian thought it sounded silly. Sometimes, he would look in the mirror before a game and pretend a sports reporter was interviewing him. ‘Yes I think it is important to be competitive but I don’t like to, ah how do you say it … “rabbit on” with crazy slogans, I just like to play.’ He thought of himself as a good-natured Latino man who didn’t take life too seriously.
He was a team player, and a good one, but his teammates sensed he didn’t much like the machismo, the blokey camaraderie and post-match boozing, and because of this he was always something of an outsider. Until, that is, the team was losing. Then, every one of the five other men on the field would try their damnedest to get the ball to Sebastian, knowing that almost every time he had it he would do well. And when that happened all was forgiven – high fives, hugs and bum-slaps all round.
Sebastian’s side’s green jerseys pushed forward, as the red team defended, bouncing backwards off their opposition signalling a touch. Green hands, pass, touch. Ball to ground. Green hands, pass, pass, touch, ball to ground. Speedy. Green team hands, ran across the field drawing the extra defender and leaving a gap as wide as a garage door. Sebastian was heading toward his touchdown zone. ‘Yes,’ he said, much too quietly for a football field, but loud enough for his a teammate to hear. A backhanded flick pass seemed to float for a second before Sebastian soared forward, catching the ball against his flank and running like a gazelle.
The pass wrong-footed most of the other players, but one red-shirt remained, closing in on Sebastian from the right. As the red-shirt cut off his angle, Sebastian lengthened his stride and swerved to the left side of the field, eyes fixed in a sharp glare, thick black hair streaming behind him. He grasped the ball firmly in one large hand – he could almost hear his old coach screaming in fury – as his arms pumped like pistons, his shirt flattened against his lean, muscular torso. Despite the frosty air, he felt sweat sliding down his face.
He had one more opposition player to beat, and his teammates would never catch up. The gap between the two men had almost closed when, at the last second, Sebastian planted one foot hard on the ground and tried to sidestep his assailant. The power of that forward charge abruptly stopping shot through the bones of his left leg as it skewed to one side and snapped the fibula. All the kinetic energy was then transferred to the tibia, which broke jaggedly, pushing down towards the ankle, piercing the surrounding skin and muscle, retracting slightly as the calf muscle clenched. As both bones in his lower left leg fractured, Sebastian hit the ground. Hard. Now the grass felt crunchy.
He writhed in agony, screaming as the pain flared up his leg, grabbing uselessly at his perforated shin. He dragged in a ragged breath through his nostrils, trying to lie still. He pushed his head into the grass, shutting his eyes against the blinding floodlights as he wrestled with the pain. He opened his eyes as he heard the thud of approaching feet and saw his breath mist through the air.
‘Oh shit. That really hurts.’
“Dear Head Honchos,”
18:55 hrs – Cameron
Cam smoothed out Syd’s letter on the dashboard and settled down to read.
To Whom It May Concern,
My name is Sydney Worthington and I moved from New South Wales nine months ago for this job.
I have chosen to write down some of the happenings in my life through last year, and how they may have affected me during the first stage of my learning as a student paramedic.
Firstly, I must state that I always had the opportunity to let the officers and assessors at the Staff Development Unit (SDU) know of these events, and when I did see those officers, for either assessments or learning-support plans, they always asked if I had any problems or issues in my personal life that might have been affecting my learning.
I always replied with a very definite ‘No’. I answered in this way because I didn’t want anyone to think I was making excuses for my failures in my studies. Now my job is on the line, so the time has come to inform this Review Panel of the factors that have been affecting me, to try to provide some insight and maybe clarification of my circumstances, rather than making excuses.
Late last year, my girlfriend and I broke up. I won’t go into the details of it, but as most people know, a break-up, no matter how uncomplicated or unproblematic, is never an easy thing.
In mid-August, my mother, who lives in New South Wales, informed me she had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Not only was this a huge shock to her but also a shock for me, and an obvious ongoing concern. Over the next two months, even though my involvement in my mum’s cancer treatment was limited, it definitely took a toll on my ability to concentrate and work. On top of that, at the beginning of September, she went into atrial fibrillation, and while it was managed quickly and effectively, the worry
was definitely an added pressure for me.
Then, no less than a month later, my grandmother, who also lives in New South Wales, also went into atrial fibrillation for three days. My family has a history of good health, so having two family members’ with health problems is a new concept for me, one I have naively never really thought about until now.
I have always been proactive towards learning in past jobs, wishing to become a better worker and to increase my understanding and productivity, and always approached learning with enthusiasm. However, most of the learning I have done in the past has been task orientated, and I haven’t had my ‘head in the books’ since Year 12, which was almost ten years ago. Obviously I was not prepared for the study that is involved in the diploma. I was, and still am, absolutely committed, but I just didn’t realise how much book-work was involved.
My girlfriend and I are back together. Our relationship is stable and our bond is strong.
My mother had radiation therapy, which destroyed the cancer. She is now on Femara and Aspirin.
My grandmother’s sweet heart has now returned to a normal sinus rhythm. She continues to make nice biscuits.
I appreciate that I will always face challenges. Everybody has challenges and factors that affect their life. I would like to ask for your understanding about why I lacked focus last year. Now that I have seen the level of book-work that is involved, and have been told repeatedly that it will increase in volume and complexity throughout the diploma, I have gained a new focus, one that I hope I will have the opportunity to make routine.
I love working for this service. I love this job. I have never done a job where I get back so much from helping people. I love speaking with new people and going to different places. I find the high times exciting and the slow times give room to study and learn.