Calm to Chaos

by Garth Wade

  ‘Just you relax sir. Your wife is in good hands,’ said Sonia while she read the ECG. ‘So you said Audrey had a heart attack? Was she told she has left ventricular failure maybe?’

  Ted shifted in his seat. ‘Oh I don’t remember what they said. Yes. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe something like that?’ Ted spoke with the sincerity of a man who loved his wife like no other but simply had difficulty remembering medical terms.

  ‘I know it’s difficult, Ted, but this time if the doctors tell you what to do, you’ll have to do it. It may save Audrey’s life one day,’ Sonia said kindly, then spotted a bottle of GTN on the other side of the kitchen. ‘I can see that little red bottle of Nitrate there on the counter. Did you give her any of that before calling us?’

  ‘No. I don’t even know what that’s for,’ Ted replied, bowing his head.

  ‘Ted, it’s okay. It’s not a problem,’ Sonia’s upbeat tone returned, ‘this time it’s okay.’

  ‘She’s going to be alright?’ Ted sat up, hopeful.

  ‘I think so. Tonight, she may be alright. But you guys have to know each other’s medical needs a bit better, okay?’ Sonia’s eyes creased as she smiled sweetly. She spoke as if she were speaking to her grandfather, or someone whom she loved very much.

  Sonia tried calling comms three times on her hand-held radio, which was predictably unsuccessful. She stayed inside the house, close to Syd, and rang comms from her phone instead, giving them a SITREP of the job so far.

  Syd spoke to Audrey continuously, giving encouraging words with every positive change he saw. After another ten minutes, her colour returned, she ceased sweating, and her eyes grew calmer. Her breathing had improved but she still gurgled with each breath, and he told her not to try to speak.

  Sonia went back to the ambulance to retrieve the stretcher. Ted left his seat immediately and slowly returned to Audrey, bringing a chair with him. He sat next to her and held her hand. Syd noticed the elderly hands of the two of them, the bony frailty encased in translucent, paper-thin skin.

  Their hands melded into each other, as though paired that way from their beginning. Syd lost concentration, transfixed by such a simple thing, something he felt was important – a connection between two people, fused by love. It was something that could never be faked, or copied, or lied about. It was something that would never need to be a status update. It was theirs and theirs alone.

  The many lines around Audrey’s eyes wrinkled as she smiled.

  ‘He’s always had such cool hands,’ she said.

  Syd jumped back to reality and said, ‘Ah, that’s lovely Audrey, but remember no talking for the time being okay? It just makes your breathing work harder.’

  ‘Cool hands, warm heart,’ Ted said with a grin. ‘You know what, love? Don’t speak, just take it easy, like the Commodores’ song, “I’m easy – easy like Sundee mornin’, mmm yeah eee aah…” I’m sorry son, what’s your name?’

  ‘That’s a great song Ted. Have you ever thought of a singing career?’ Syd said lightly, making them both smile. ‘I’m Sydney by the way, pleasure to meet you sir.’

  ‘Ah Sydney, what a name! What a place!’ Ted gently let go of Audrey’s hand, gave her a smile and went to the nearby bedroom, returning with a framed black and white picture. He took his wife’s hand, melding once more, and then said to her, ‘Love! It’s Sydney!’ Then to Syd, ‘That’s where we met, back in 1956! I remember it like it was yesterday.’

  Syd thought maybe Ted’s memory wasn’t what it used to be until he saw the picture Ted was holding, with the Sydney Harbour Bridge in the background.

  ‘See, this was our engagement party twelve months later,’ Ted presented the picture proudly.

  They sat at an indoor table which overlooked the harbour. Ted looked strong in his smart suit with a serious look on his face and a good hairline which had been ruthlessly Brylcreemed and neatly combed in the style typical of that era. Audrey looked striking with a glowing cheeky smile, hair pulled back taut in a neat ponytail wearing a dress which hugged her nicely shaped arms, an oversized collar, and a knee-length explosion of tightly ironed pleats. Their hands were together in the photo, just as they were now.

  ‘What a great picture. You don’t see that anymore,’ said Syd.

  ‘Well of course you don’t, that was the fifties!’ Ted chuckled.

  Syd smiled, ‘You don’t see that connection much anymore.’

  Audrey sat between the two men, calm but still wearing the oxygen mask. The hissing sound of it filled the silences. Sydney paid close attention to Audrey.

  ‘I’m sure you do see it, and it is out there, surely. It just may not be obvious to you Sydney,’ Ted spoke helpfully. ‘Sydney. Sydney. I do like saying that, Sydney. Great name. Great town.’

  ‘I wasn’t talking about me in particular—’

  ‘I can see it Sydney. You’re a good bloke with a big heart. Eventually, she’ll show up.’

  Syd scrunched up his face. ‘Yeah, I thought she had shown up until earlier tonight—’ and then he remembered he was supposed to be caring for Audrey, rather than pouring out his ‘big heart’ to her husband. ‘But thank you, Ted. I think you love your wife very much. It’s sweet to see.’

  Audrey had settled, and butted in, saying through the oxygen mask, ‘Oh Ted, just leave him alone,’ in a caring grandmotherly way. Syd opened his eyes at her as if to say ‘Don’t speak’. Audrey took the hint and, being the good patient she was, followed orders and remained silent from then on.

  Her state had greatly improved and Syd continued to monitor and treat her accordingly. Soon she was loaded onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. Ted came with them, riding in the front and chatting to Sonia for most of the twelve-minute trip into hospital.

  Audrey’s condition remained stable throughout. At hospital, she was assessed and reviewed the same as anyone who presented with a recent cardiac history and current acute pulmonary oedema. Ted and Audrey were further advised on her medical condition and would hopefully both be better prepared for the next time if this morning’s events were repeated.

  Syd felt he understood what Ted and Audrey had together – the absolute love – and thought it fundamental to what he wanted in life. Surely it would be impossible to have that with Amber, a woman who was deceitful from the beginning. From the first time he asked her out, she had lied about everything. Could the connection that Ted and Audrey had be forged in the same situation he and Amber were in? His mind dizzied again when he thought of the relationship he had held so dear. One minute he wanted to forgive and forget, the next he never wanted to see her again.

  Single, self-survival

  Twenty years earlier – Amber

  Her eyes opened sharply as her little lungs inhaled the single gasp that woke her. The front door slammed, then reopened harshly and she heard her mother yelling profanities for a solid thirty seconds, before there was the sound of spinning wheels.

  The door closed gently.

  She lay on her side and stared at the glow-worm bedside light and listened for the familiar sound of her mother’s desperate cry. It was not long coming.

  Amber rolled back her bed covers and rubbed her eyes. Most children her age would stay in bed, make some kind of noise, and await a parent. Amber didn’t have that option. She was an only child to a mother who strove for the dramatic and who insisted on having those around her appreciate the troubles in her life. And, as much as Amber’s mother loved her, Amber always came second to her mother’s own priorities. Amber knew that she was the one who would comfort her mother.

  Her mother would expect Amber to be her helper and caretaker well into Amber’s teens, but would simultaneously dismiss her unexpectedly.

  Her mother would often ask if Amber was hungry and despite her answering no, would still place food in front of her. While shopping, she would ask if Amber liked a certain dress, and even though Amber would reply politely ‘no’, her mother would still give it to her for a Christmas gift.

  Her self-invo
lved mother forced Amber to act as her mother from an early age.

  Tonight, Amber’s tiny printed socks muffled her steps as she padded towards the bedroom door. She peeked through, trying to avoid being seen or heard at all.

  Through the slit of the open door, she could see her mother, sitting on the floor at the top of the staircase, leaning against the wall. Her wet, vividly red hair dangled through her hands as she held them against her face.

  Amber could hear her whimpering. She gently opened the door and looked around, then ran over to her mother.

  ‘Are you okay, Mummy?’

  Her mother gave a startled jump as Amber hugged her, and then curled her up into her arms with obvious love. She tried to force herself to stop blubbering.

  ‘I’m okay, baby. Mummy’s okay. Daddy’s just gone for a quick drive, that’s all,’ she lied.

  Debrief

  06:30 hrs – Princess Alexandra Hospital Emergency Department

  The ED was now full of natural light, making it look much older and somehow less sterile. The bright LED lighting was always on but only made a difference to the darker corners during daylight hours. Morning had broken, and with it came new crews for each shift.

  Audrey had been transferred to a bed in resus. She was now stable and speaking full sentences with no gurgles or drowning sounds, the colour in her face returned to normal. It would not be long before she was reassessed and most likely taken to a ward bed for observation before returning home, hopefully with a management plan. Ted sat patiently in the room designed for waiting.

  Sebastian lay in a ward bed, soon to go home. He had had surgery through the morning hours and the surgeon was confident there would be few complications with his recovery as long as Sebastian followed instructions. Sebastian remained completely oblivious to events between his girlfriend and his paramedic. He had thought Sydney’s behaviour strange when he last saw him and told Amber about it, once she returned an hour later it all was forgotten. She told him that paramedics had to move quickly at any given minute to make certain they got to jobs ‘muy rapido’. He respected Sydney for his commitment, and then laughed at Amber speaking Spanish. She stood with her hands on her hips and her lips pursed. Sebastian happily kept eating chocolate before falling asleep. They didn’t speak of Sydney again.

  Bradley was moved to the Intensive Care Unit, near the ED. He remained heavily sedated, with a tube down his throat to sustain his breathing. Airway burns were a worrisome possibility. The burns to his face were of medium partial thickness and healing times were not possible to predict. The burns would be reviewed regularly and an appropriate treatment plan put in place over the following two to three days. He had no next of kin on record, and nobody had come to see him. There were, however, two detectives assigned to wait nearby to interview him when he woke up.

  Danielle’s left-sided weakness remained throughout the nurse’s and doctor’s assessments. She then had a head CT scan which uncovered a small blockage to the blood flow on the right side of her brain. Due to the unknown time she had been showing her stroke-like symptoms, her treatment options were limited. The left-sided weakness would most likely persist and arrangements would be made by the hospital staff of Subsidies and Support for her to be rehoused and cared for.

  Riley remained in the waiting room of the Mental Health facility, napping occasionally on the comfortable seats, otherwise sitting like a cocoon staring deeply into her mobile phone screen and tapping away with both thumbs as if her life depended on it. She continued to text Lyndon and, despite receiving no replies, she texted with a different mindset, one she felt was more mature and independent. Her mother, Karen, continued being assessed by a senior psychiatrist to ‘work a few things out’.

  Karen’s assessment turned out to be much more thorough, and necessary, than Riley’s. The counsellor there had given her a new medication script and advice on dealing with her depression. The lead psychiatrist at the hospital was called in and did a comprehensive assessment of Karen’s mental state, dealing with states of change, depression, bipolar disorder as well as suicidal tendencies. One of Brisbane’s leading private psychologists was contacted, who had ties to the public system, to further assess and treat Karen. This private psychologist had also recently appeared in the local newspaper, having been awarded the state’s highest decoration for mental health support. It was a page three colour spread of him shaking hands and smiling with the Minister for Health, the Honourable Neville Nelson.

  Lyndon’s strength was surprising given his body size, and yet he had injured Cameron, a triage nurse, and two security staff. He was finally handcuffed and then sedated in ED, and would be assessed by the mental health team at some stage that day. Most of the ED staff witnesses assumed he had taken some form of methamphetamine. When the sedation wore off, he thought of Jessica, and his lingering sorrow returned.

  Cameron sat upright in his ward bed with his wife Claire nearby. He had been cleared of any bleeding on the brain, and was diagnosed with a mild concussion. He was soon to be released and he would return home with his wife. Wesley had interviewed Cameron and filled out the relevant paperwork and would be reporting and crawling to senior members of management once they arrived at work.

  ‘How are you feeling now?’ asked Syd.

  ‘Ah, bit of a bump,’ Cam replied rubbing his head with one hand and holding Claire’s hand with the other, ‘but I’ll be all right.’

  ‘Does he seem any different to you Claire?’

  ‘Aye Sydney, that he does. It’s like he’s a new man. I’ve never heard him this quiet,’ she said, smiling.

  She then said something to Cameron that made them both chuckle, before he gave her a quick, petulant look.

  ‘Was that a private message in Glaswegian that only you were supposed to understand? Because I didn’t get a word of it,’ said Syd.

  ‘Aye, son. And private it’ll stay,’ said Cam with a wink.

  Syd flicked through Cam’s chart. ‘Well, I’ve just ticked you off for a thorough rectal exam in case you injured anything abdominal in the fall, and I think Jeff is on this morning so that’s good for you. I hear he has nice, soft, but extremely large hands and a fantastic eye for detail. So enjoy that Cameron,’ Syd said as he pretended to sign it and slotted it back into the bed-end.

  ‘Aye, ha, thanks son, that’d be great,’ Cam said, ignoring Syd’s joke. ‘Have you heard who the bloke is that knocked me down?’

  ‘One of the Drug Dependence Unit nurses said he’s a regular over at the needle exchange and that he hasn’t been in a good way recently.’

  ‘Yeah? No shite,’ said Cam casually.

  ‘She said that he said he actually thought he was breaking into the hospital and knew where to get “all the drugs”. Can you believe that? Jeez that pisses me off! Shoots some ice, thinks he’s on another planet and hurts several innocent people in the meantime. I hope he goes to jail.’

  ‘Well, mate, he probably won’t, but I know what you’re sayin’. Me gettin’ knocked out is pretty rare thing to happen to ambos here. But people sportin’ addictions and hurtin’ other people one way or another is pretty bloody common. Don’t stress too much about it son. It won’t change.’

  ‘Oh you’re so wise, Mister Bloody Negative,’ said Claire.

  ‘It won’t change,’ Cam repeated, as though reinforcing the reason he was injured. Syd took two steps backward against the ward curtain and saw the raised leg-cast of Sebastian in the bed next door.

  Syd clenched his jaw. ‘I agree Cam.’

  ‘Oh you’re so wise too, Sydney,’ Claire said with added sarcasm as if it hadn’t been noticed the first time.

  ‘Son, why are you still here? Go home, man. It’s been a big night, go back to the station and safely home. Have a good rest. You’ve got my number. Gimme a call whenever you want all right? We’ll have a beer,’ said Cam.

  ‘Okay then, I’m out of here. I’m glad you’re okay Cam, I really am. Enjoy the rectal exam. Chat later. And lovely to finally me
et you, Claire.’

  Both the Scots smiled.

  ‘Safe travels, Sydney.’

  Tears

  07:00 hrs – Charlie 989

  ‘Charlie 989, returning to station, out of service. Thank you for your night, 989.’ Her voice was chirpy as a morning sparrow, as if rubbing it in that she had just arisen from a peaceful, full night’s rest, and he had not. Syd didn’t confirm the message, like a grumpy child, and he certainly didn’t want to chirp into the emptiness of the handpiece.

  The ambulance moved easily along the main road, as most of the traffic was heading the opposite way into the city to start work. Syd thought that even though the night had been possibly the most eye-opening and heart-breaking night of his life, that at least he didn’t lead a nine-to-five life. However suited it was to so many people worldwide, Syd did not feel it suited him. He relished not knowing what was going to happen during a shift, the people he would meet, and the sights he would see. To help people on a day that could be the worst of their lives, knowing that for some it might turn out to be the best. He loved not knowing what lay ahead. He thrived on the mystery. And it all came back to the feeling he had chased when he first went skydiving.

  Sitting in an ergonomically designed cubicle staring at a computer screen and answering a phone while colleagues talked about their amazing weekend just out of town and TGI Fridays was not Syd’s idea of work. Nor life. Nor a good work–life balance.

  But, as he liked to say, different strokes for different folks.

  He returned to the station, restocked the ambulance and left the vehicle clean. The morning crew were already out on another job, along with the station’s officer in charge. The station felt empty and he felt quite solitary. His eyes were heavy and they wanted nothing more than to simply close.

  Because he was a student, with no responsibility for signing in and out of drugs, Syd had nothing left to do so he locked up and left the station.