Finding Joy (The Joy Series)

by Jenni Moen

  ALEXIS: The lord is cheating on you tonight.

  CARLY: Hands off my man.

  ALEXIS: This man is hotter than hoecakes off the griddle.

  CARLY: I’d like to be his hoecake. Wait … what’s a hoecake?

  ALEXIS: Damn Yankee.

  I smiled at my phone and tossed it on the bed. I wondered briefly what was keeping Adam. Even though it shouldn’t, the name Carissa danced through my mind. I dismissed the thought and continued to read … happy for the distraction.

  CHAPTER 7

  Adam

  I walked into the dark, run-down bar that smelled like beer and piss. Why anyone would willingly spend time here was beyond me. It had taken the better part of the day and night to track her down, but I’d done it.

  I recognized her immediately. Finding someone wasn’t really that hard if you were willing to ask enough people. The large wad of cash in my pocket had certainly helped. Everyone in this neighborhood had a price.

  I pulled out the stool next to hers and sat down. “Hey hanthsome stranger,” she slurred.

  “Hello, Amber.” The annoyance in my voice was unmistakable.

  She looked at me warily. “Do I know you?”

  “No. But I know you,” I said. “In fact, I know you all too well.”

  “Welllll, I’m thure I don’t know you,” She slurred some more. “I know I’d remember a hanthsome guy like you. I could spend some time getting to know you now.” She slipped a hand over onto my thigh. I shook my head at her and dropped her hand onto her own lap. I was going to need to shower before I touched Allie.

  “Amber, I’m going to tell you a story. It’s similar to the story that I told your daughter yesterday morning.”

  “You know my daughter?” she asked, interrupting me mid-way through my speech. She looked at me with uncertainty.

  “I do. She’s a great girl. A sweet girl. And she deserves better than this. So while she got the sweet PG-13 version of my story, you’re going to get the whole thing because you need to hear it.”

  “The truth and nothing but the truth?” she asked, giggling.

  “Exactly. And when I’m done, we’re going to talk about your options.”

  Alexis

  I yawned and stretched. Adam was sleeping soundly next to me. One arm was thrown over his head. I watched his chest move up and down with each steady breath. Rubber Cat was nestled against his side. The cat opened one eye and glared at me as if to let me know that Adam hadn’t gotten enough sleep yet.

  I wasn’t sure when he had come in though I was pretty sure that I’d fallen asleep reading. My eReader, phone, and glasses were now stacked neatly on my bedside table, and I was almost positive that I hadn’t been the one to put them there. The alarm clock said that it was almost 8 a.m. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept past 7 on a weekday.

  I slipped out of bed, taking my things with me. I made coffee and ran through all of the emails that had come in during the night. I wanted to take care of any business before Adam woke up so that I could spend the rest of the day focusing on him. It was Friday, and we were going to spend the whole day together. No distractions.

  I was just shutting down my computer when he wandered out of the bedroom, wearing nothing but his boxers and a smile. He leaned against the doorway and scratched his head. His hair stuck out every which way and the scruff on his face begged me to rub against it.

  “Morning,” he said, lazily. “You ready for a big day of Adam-style fun?”

  I stood up and walked over to him. I ran my hands around his neck and leaned into him. “I’m ready for some big fun all right.”

  “I’m sorry I missed drunk and bare Allie last night. I bet she would have been a lot of fun.” He placed his hands on my waist and planted a kiss in my hair.

  “I wasn’t all that drunk, actually, and I’m still a lot of fun.” I ran a hand down his back and squeezed his ass.

  “So how was the bush-whacking?” he asked.

  “The what?” I sputtered into his chest.

  His deep laugh filled the apartment. “The waxing party? It was exactly what I said, right? A bunch of chicks standing around watching each other get waxed.”

  “No, it was not,” I said, rolling my eyes at him even though he couldn’t see me do it. “It was okay, but I don’t think I’ll be going back. It was a little too thorough, if you know what I mean.” I pulled back and looked at him, waggling my eyebrows at him suggestively. “And there’s a reason they call that woman ‘True Pain.’”

  “True Pain?” he said laughing. “Well, I can’t wait to check it out and see just how thorough she really was.”

  I had kind of hoped that that was where we were heading now. Remembering that I still had questions about his whereabouts from the night before, I decided to put off my seduction plan for a few minutes. “Where were you, by the way?” I asked. “I missed you.”

  “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I got tied up at school. I was working on a project, and it took longer than I’d expected.”

  I wondered what project he was working on. He hadn’t said he had anything due, and he had finished the senior project that he’d had to rework a few weeks ago. Adam would graduate in a month and a half. I’d been under the impression that it would be smooth sailing until then. “Do you have to work on it today?” I asked.

  I was probing. Stealthily. But it almost seemed like he was being purposefully vague. After our not-so-little misunderstanding over Carissa earlier this week, I didn’t want to come right out and ask or accuse him of anything. I certainly didn’t want him to think that I didn’t trust him, because I did.

  Really, I did.

  Adam wrapped his arms around my waist and walked forward, taking me with him. Thinking we were headed toward the couch to find out what he had missed the night before, I stayed attached to him and matched his steps. I was disappointed when he directed us toward the kitchen instead.

  “Hey, I saw Rubber Cat used the toilet,” he said. “I think he’s got it down.”

  Nothing like potty-training-cat-talk to ruin the mood. I stepped aside, and Adam started pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Yeah, he did. I high-fived him. That thing is a nuisance, though. I don’t want to have to remove the litter box every time I have to pee.”

  He smiled. “You won’t have to. Tomorrow we are going to graduate him to the next level.” Pretty soon it won’t be on there at all, and victory will be mine.” He laughed his evil villain laugh and rubbed his hands together. Playful Adam was an adorable Adam. “No tipping our hand when we see Burke tomorrow night, okay? I have it on good authority that Mr. Big is not the fast learner that Rubber Cat is.”

  “Maybe because he’s a dog?” I asked. “I mean, people don’t typically teach dogs to pee in any particular spot, let alone a toilet. Anyway, this bet is out of hand and venturing on the weird side now.” I waved my hand in dismissal.

  “It is, isn’t it?” he agreed.

  “What are we doing tomorrow with Burke?” I asked, pouring myself another cup of coffee.

  “Some Halloween party on a boat over at the piers. He knows a bouncer who’s getting us in. The whole crew is going. Even your husband, Ethan,” Adam said, winking at me.

  “That’s funny. He hasn’t said anything to me.”

  “I think he’s trying to keep it on the down low. He’s trying to sneak out without Jillian.”

  “Oh.” I’d had a suspicion for a while that this thing with Jillian was coming to a quick and dirty end. “Is it a costume party?”

  “I think we’re supposed to dress up as celebrities.” He looked annoyed at the thought.

  I couldn’t have agreed more. Trying to come up with a clever costume was bad enough, but coming up with a clever couples costume would be nearly impossible. “So we’re going shopping?” I asked.

  “We can hit a costume shop today,” he said, nodding.

  I arched an eyebrow at him. He still hadn’t told me what was on the agenda for the day. “What else are
we doing?” I asked as I pulled a takeout box out of the refrigerator. I got a fork from the drawer and popped open the styrofoam container. I licked my lips as a beam of light straight from heaven fell upon the piece of cheesecake inside.

  Adam walked over and studied my breakfast critically. “Well, I thought we could run over to the gym first and get in a quick workout … but not if you’re going to eat that shit.”

  “Is that your plan for the day?” I moaned. “A full day of abuse by Adam. I think I’d rather be at work.”

  “No, I’m not going to abuse you all day. Just for the first hour or so,” he said, laughing. “Now go change so we can get going.” He left the kitchen to gear up. I looked longingly at my would-be breakfast and put it back in the refrigerator, vowing out loud that I would return for it.

  As promised, Adam kept our workout short and sweet. I’d been slacking lately in that department so I wasn’t totally upset about the prospect of sneaking in a workout. If I wanted to keep eating cheesecake for breakfast, I needed to do something to offset it. After our workout, we ran back home and cleaned up.

  Our first stop was a costume shop. When we didn’t find anything there that we could agree on, our second stop also became a costume shop. We were kind of late to the party so most of the good costumes were gone. And being a total dork, I wanted to dress up as a celebrity couple. Adam was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in when I found a costume for him that wasn’t really too far off the beaten path from what he normally wore. The fact that my costume was a totally revealing, black leather-ish bodysuit was probably the swaying factor that won him over.

  After shopping, we had lunch at a sandwich shop just down the street from the second costume shop. Adam was rushing us along, and I could feel his enthusiasm building though I didn’t know why.

  As we wolfed down our sandwiches, I decided to use his good mood to my advantage. It seemed like as good a time as any to bring up the subject of Thanksgiving. I knew that my parents’ house was the last place he would want to spend Thanksgiving, but he hadn’t even hesitated. He’d just agreed.

  “We might as well,” he said. “We have to face them sooner or later. Shit’s about to get real, though, huh?” He said it with a smirk. I loved that he wasn’t afraid of my father. Everyone I had ever known was afraid of my father. But not Adam. The thought of carving turkey with my dad didn’t bother him in the least. Or if it did, he didn’t let on.

  After lunch, he led me back down into the subway and put us on a train headed to the same part of Brooklyn that I’d been in the night before. As we rode in comfortable silence, it occurred to me that he hadn’t mentioned his parents at all. I was more than fine with that. According to Adam, his mom had been sober now for five years. Sober or not, she would probably never be ready to come face to face with me.

  We came up out of the subway not too far from Ditmas Park, and I pushed all thoughts of the upcoming holiday out of my mind.

  A crowd was gathering, and barriers were set up to prevent anyone from entering the park. Ocean Avenue was completely impassable.

  Adam was almost skipping beside me. His usual calm, cool demeanor had been replaced by a boyish excitement that got my heart racing. As he pulled me down the street, I studied him out of the corner of my eye, mesmerized. If you had asked me before today, I would have told you that I really didn’t think that he could be any more attractive to me than he already was, but I would have been wrong. This new, younger Adam had me wanting to throw him into a dark alley for a high-school-worthy make-out session.

  The reason for his excitement became apparent when he waved to a guy on the other side of the barrier. We worked our way through the crowd, and the guy granted us access that got us a few boos and snickers from the people around us. As I took in the shoot around us, I recognized several of the actors from one of Adam’s favorite TV shows. Suddenly, the “Chalky’s Comin’” shirt that he was wearing made sense. I’d only seen him wear it once before … at my birthday party. When I started to say something about it, he gave me a sharp look and said, “Be cool, hunny bunny. Be cool.”

  “I love you, pumpkin,” I said, immediately picking up on the reference to Pulp Fiction, a movie that I’d watched a hundred times in high school. Adam looked at me with pride and reached over and squeezed my hand.

  He leaned in, and his lips brushed my ear. “I know this date is more for me than you, but this is such a great opportunity. I couldn’t turn it down,” he whispered.

  “It is,” I agreed.

  We spent the next few hours watching the shoot with Adam’s friend, who was an intern. I had watched the show a few times with Adam on TV. Normally, I was more into reality shows and other brain fluff, but one episode was all it had taken to get me hooked. Eying the actors, I thought seriously about fan-girling all over them. Adam, however, was only interested in the angles of the cameras and the lighting, and other technical stuff that was lost on me.

  After several hours, the shoot began to wrap up. Adam thanked his friend, and we said our good-byes. As we walked toward the subway station, Adam rehashed every brilliant thing we had seen. As he talked, I pulled my phone out and checked my emails. It was Friday afternoon. You would think everyone at the office would be gearing up for the weekend, but that was the time when the worst emails would come in … the ones that would put you on a project that would suck the life out of your weekend.

  “Uh, Adam,” I interrupted after reading an email from a partner for whom I had only recently started working. “I need to run by the office on our way home. I have a meeting on Monday morning, and I need to pick up some deposition transcripts.”

  “Sure,” he said, before continuing on about the differences between establishing shots and angle on shots and the virtues of a Hitchcock zoom. His enthusiasm was contagious, and even though I had no idea what he was talking about I wanted to absorb every single word. Adam had found his passion. It wasn’t mine but I didn’t want him to ever have to explain things to me more than once.

  As we walked up to my office building, I felt Adam’s energy dissipate. Even though we both knew my dad had left town, Adam didn’t like being in any space that was associated with my father. It was ironic since he’d been living in my dad’s old apartment until just recently.

  After passing through the large glass doors, Adam veered to the left in the lobby. “I’ll just wait for you in there,” he said, pointing toward the coffee shop. “Do you want anything?”

  “Sure,” I said. “Will you get me a decaf, skinny Misto?” He nodded and headed toward the coffee shop, while I went in the opposite direction toward the elevator bank that would take me to my floor.

  When I returned, Adam was completely engrossed in a game on his phone. I was standing beside the table before he realized I was back. “Ready to go?” I asked.

  “Sure,” he said, standing up. He handed me my coffee and took the heavy file from my arms. As we walked toward the door, I heard my name being shouted across the lobby.

  “Alexis! Alexis!” a voice shrilled.

  I looked up in time to see Brittany Goddard walking directly at me. This was the second time in several months that I had run into her here. At this point, it was probably safe to assume that she also worked in the building. If that was true, it was going to be hard to avoid these little reunions. And I desperately wanted to avoid any kind of reunion.

  I shouldn’t have been averse to talking to Brittany. At one time, we had been best friends. In fact, I’d grown up with Brittany, and we went as far back as kindergarten. But she was a part of my ‘before the accident’ life and had opted not to be a part of my ‘after the accident’ life. Not once had she come to the hospital. Not once had she called me during the summer before I’d moved to Manhattan.

  I hadn’t been able to leave the house for several months, but she had never come by to watch movies with me or fill me in on the gossip at school. I had called and left messages, but my calls were never returned. She’d just disappeared. Poof
.

  In fact, all of my friends had disappeared. It hadn’t been just Brittany. No one had called or visited. It had certainly made it easy to leave Dallas to come to New York. It’s easy to walk away without looking back when you’re not leaving anyone behind.

  Though 10 years had passed, I guess I still held a grudge. However, because of Adam, I was learning to let go of the past. “Brittany,” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. “How are you?”

  “I’m great, Allie … I mean, Alexis. I work in the building, but I guess you probably figured that out,” she gushed. “I know you work for your dad’s firm, right? I’ve tried to keep up with you over the years … through my mom, ya know. She still talks to your mom.”

  No, I didn’t know.

  Adam, who had still been messing with his phone, snapped to attention. He shifted on his feet next to me.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “Brittany, this is Adam Hill, my boyfriend. Adam, this is Brittany. We grew up together.”

  Brittany’s eyes grew big as saucers. She stammered a little. “Uh, uh … nice to meet you, Adam.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, too,” he responded though the tone of his voice didn’t exactly reflect that sentiment. He sounded … what? Nervous? Maybe he remembered Brittany from high school, too.

  “Hey, Brit, Adam went to our high school, too, though he was a few years older.”

  “Is that right?” she asked. “Funny, isn’t it? It’s such a small world.” She eyed him severely.

  I was getting a strange vibe here. It was almost like she was challenging him. His eyes darted back and forth between Brittany and me. He definitely seemed nervous for some reason. I wondered briefly if he had dated her in high school. But that was impossible. She was my best friend. I would have known him if she’d dated him.

  Her gaze returned to me and softened. “Well, it was really nice seeing you. I’m sure I’ll bump into you again some time. Same building and all.”