Cards Of Love: Queen Of Pentacles

by Leah Holt

  There was this feeling in the air that floated into my heart, making it feel full. I was getting a second chance to be more than I was, to have more than any amount of money could bring me.

  Spotting a jukebox in the back corner, I smiled to myself.

  “What?” Ash asked, trying to follow my gaze.

  “I'll be right back,” I said, hopping down from the seat and taking my small clutch with me.

  I felt him watch me as I walked through the bar and to the jukebox. Digging around in my purse, I found some loose change and fed it into the machine. The lights popped on and the records lit up bright.

  Scanning the choices, I couldn't find the song my mother loved but I found Miles Davis and pressed play. The music filled the room, coming out of the speakers overhead. Letting my eyes close, the sound radiated through my chest as I made my way back to Ash.

  This is worth it, he's worth it.

  A firm hand gripped my arm as I peered at the back of Ash's head, and it spun me on my feet.

  Sucking in a gulp of air, Clint was glaring down at me, his mouth thin as paper. “I thought I told you to stay away from him?” His tone deepened as his words cut through me. “But you just don't listen, do you?”

  “What are you following me now?” Snarling, my eyes turned to pinpricks. “You don't own me, Clint, you can't tell me what to do—not anymore.”

  Letting out a husky breath of air, he squeezed me harder. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” His head titled a hair as his mouth curled in anger. “Let's go, we're leaving.”

  Trying to yank my arm away, I growled. “Let go of me, Clint.”

  “Let you go. . . Let you go? That's one thing I won't do. You left me no choice, Nola, I'm going to fucking ruin you.” His nostrils flared as his eyes turned dark. “You had one chance and you fucking blew it.”

  “Let me go, Clint!” My voice turned shrill as his fingertips pierced the skin. Jerking my arm, I broke free and stumbled backwards. “Ash, Ash!” I called out, trying to look over my shoulder and keep my eyes on Clint at the same time.

  I was afraid of what he would do. I had never seen so much hatred and anger in him before.

  “Get the hell away from her!” Ash yelled, rushing to my side and pushing me behind his back.

  The room fell silent as every head turned to see what was going on. Pulling out my phone, I dialed the police. I was done with all of it, I was done with Clint. I didn't care anymore who he was or who his father was, he wasn't going to do this to me anymore.

  Ash took a hard step forward, shoving him in the chest. “What the fuck did you do? How could you do this to her?!” His palms found Clint's chest, shoving him even harder.

  “I didn't do anything, she did it to herself.” Catching his balance, Clint pushed Ash back.

  “You had to broadcast it? What kind of sick fucker are you?” Ash threw his finger towards the TV, veering his stare.

  Twisting my head to look behind the bar, my phone fell out of my hands and hit the floor. There was a freeze frame of my face with Ash tugging my head back. It hung there for an eternity, taunting me, forcing all the eyes to stare at me.

  The screen skipped to the reporter announcing the Dirty Laundry segment, and I didn't have to hear what she was saying to know it wasn't good.

  My hands started shaking as the realization set in that it was happening, it was all coming out.

  It's too soon! I wanted to tell him first!

  Ash's fist flew forward, hitting Clint square in the jaw. “You're going to pay for this, asshole.” Another blow to Clint's face forced him to fall on his ass.

  Smiling, Clint wiped the blood off his lip with the back of his hand. “She deserves what she gets, the filthy whore.”

  Ash jerked his body forward, but I latched onto his arm. “Wait! Stop!” Pulling him back, I stepped in front of him so he could see me. “Stop, Ash.”

  “Look what he did, Nola! I won't let him get away with this, he sent it to people, he had it smeared all over the news!”

  “No, he didn't—” Holding his eyes with mine, I let out a sigh. “I did, I sent it out.” Waiting for him to speak, my stomach tossed and turned like the ocean in a storm.

  He stared at me, his expression confused and unsure. “You did this?”

  Nodding, I wrapped both my hands around his forearms. “That's what I was going to tell you. Clint was trying to blackmail me with this video, he was using it to keep me from seeing you. But I wasn't going to let him do this to us, I couldn't. I sent it to the station, I let them have it so he didn't have to keep us apart.”

  “Why, why not call the cops?”

  “I didn't know what to do at first, I panicked. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd rather have the entire world seeing us together than us not being together at all.”

  Chuckling, Clint pushed himself up off the floor. “Just wait till Daddy sees this. He's going to go fucking ape shit.” Pointing at Ash, Clint smiled. “You'll never work in this city again.”

  Snapping my head up, I bared my teeth. “My dad knows, Clint. I told him all about your little fucking game, and guess what?” Taking a step closer, my eyes turned to slits. “You're fucking fired.”

  “You little fucking bitch!”

  Lunging in my direction, Ash pounced in front of me, socking Clint so hard he fell backwards, landing on the floor.

  “You better stay the hell down if you want to keep that face of yours.” Looming over Clint, Ash balled his hands at his sides.

  I could hear sirens outside the bar and watched the door fly open as three cops came barging in. Ash took a step back and held up his arms.

  Clint dug his hands into the floor and stood up. “Him,” he said, his raspy voice low and firm. “He did this.”

  “Mr. Strauss, you're coming with us.”

  “Wait, what?” His tone scraped the ceiling as his eyes widened. “But I didn't do anything.”

  “You have the right to remain silent. . .” The officer kept speaking, reading Clint his rights as he yanked his arms behind his back and placed him in cuffs.

  “I didn't do shit, it's him! He's the one who did this!”

  “You have the right to an attorney, anything you say. . .” The man didn't pay any attention to Clint or what he was saying.

  Twisting his body, Clint tried to wriggle free as the police officer escorted him to the door.

  “Ms. York,” a man in a suit approached Ash and I, holding out his hand to me. “I'm Detective Grayson, we spoke on the phone yesterday.”

  Nodding, I shook his hand. “Yes, hello.”

  Ash looked between us, his expression confused.

  “I wanted to tell you about the video before you found out like this, I meant for you to hear it from me and not find out some other way. After I decided to release it to the press, I told my father what was going on. He was the one who urged me to call the police, and since Clint had sent it in a text to me, I had everything they needed to charge him for blackmailing me.”

  Smiling, Ash ran his fingers through my hair. “I already knew about the video, Nola. Clint told me, that's why I hit him in the office.”

  “You knew?” Fumbling with my bottom lip, I let my head fall onto his chest. “So why didn't you say anything before?”

  “I wanted you to tell me yourself, I was waiting for you to find your strength and really see what was important.” Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulled me in. “But I guess you did it in your own way.”

  I gave a statement to the detective and he told me he would be in touch. It was over—mostly.

  We still had to deal with the video and the new exposure it drowned us in. But I wasn't worried anymore about it. I had what I wanted. I had what mattered.

  Standing on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, Ash and I watched the police cars drive off. The bustle of commotion slowly dwindled away, leaving us alone.

  I felt Ash's hand as it swept across my back. Spinning me into his chest, he wrap
ped me in his arms, letting his eyes settle on mine.

  “Nola York, you're a really incredible woman, you know that?” His smile warmed my heart, making my cheeks blush.

  “You say that now, just wait until you're getting endless phone calls to be in porn videos.” Giggling, I curled my arms around his neck.

  Ash chuckled, his smile turning from loving to playful. “Yeah, well they'll have to find me a body double, because there's only one woman I want to be with.”

  Biting my lower lip, I pressed up on my toes and kissed him gently. “Thank you,” I said, dropping back down to flat feet.

  “For what?”

  “For standing with me.”

  Brushing his fingers through my hair, he circled the curve of my chin and held my cheek. “I will always stand with you, Nola. Always.”

  Running his finger under my chin, he tipped my head up and kissed me. His lips were gentle and fierce, taking my breath away.

  “I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” His words entered my chest, filling that crack and making my heart beat whole. “And I'm going to make you love me, Nola York.”

  “You're wrong,” I said, whispering into his mouth. Pulling back, Ash looked down on me with a crooked stare. “I saw you sitting at that table when I walked in the door that night. I saw you first, and I've loved you since.”

  The world around us faded away as the soft music from inside the building made its way out.

  Ash started swaying his hips as he pressed his forehead to mine, never pulling his eyes away.

  And as we danced on the sidewalk, there was no doubt in my mind. . .

  It was love at first sight.

  Epilogue

  One year later

  Nola

  Waddling through the store, my father stopped and pulled a dress from the rack. Holding it up, his smile was lopsided, brows up high, unsure of what the hell he was doing.

  “What about this one? It has that. . .” Pausing, he wriggled his fingers in front of the fabric.

  “Charmeuse,” I offered the word he was looking for and shook my head. “And no, not that one.” Fanning out my arms, I ran my hands up and down over my belly. “Do you see this? That dress will not be flattering on me right now.”

  Stuffing it back on the rack, he laughed. “Alright, alright, I'm trying here. This isn't my area of expertise. Your mother used to dress me, did you know that?”

  Giggling, I turned and thumbed through more wedding dresses. “I didn't, but I'm not surprised. You're color blind, Dad, so that doesn't help.”

  “Hey, now is not the time to poke fun at my shortcomings.” Wagging his finger in my direction, he searched through some more dresses. “So what are you looking for?”

  “I don't know exactly, but I'll know it when I see it.”

  Scanning the racks, I pulled out a few different styles I liked and draped them over my arm. When I couldn't hold anymore, I started filling my father's arms too.

  “You think you got enough yet?” he asked, pretending the pile was going to topple him over.

  “I guess we can start with these.” Strolling toward the bridal consultant, Dylan, that was helping us out and pulling dresses herself, I stopped short.

  “What is it?” my dad asked, resting his hand on my back. “Are you alright? Do you feel okay?”

  “That's it, that one right there.”

  Staring up, I was taken and awed by a light silver chiffon v-neck. The bust sparkled like a million tiny stars in a black night sky, the lower skirt was loose and flowing like water.

  The woman grinned, nodding her head. “Let me go grab it.”

  A few minutes later, Dylan poked her head around the wall and waved me into the back. My father gave me a soft push and smile, so I followed her to the dressing room.

  There was a small hesitation as I stood in the room. My heart panged with sadness as I thought of my mother and how I wished she was here.

  It had been two years since we lost her to her battle with cancer. I tried not to think about those last days with her, but some moments were worse than others.

  This was one of those moments.

  I hated that she was torn from my life far too soon. I hated having to watch her smile fade and the illness take over.

  Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to focus on the smile she had when she was happy. I tried to think about what her smile would look like today if she was sitting out in the front, waiting anxiously for me to enter.

  She'd be glowing.

  Slipping the dress over my head, Dylan pulled me back to what I was doing, pinning the back shut and sliding a veil into my hair. Starring in the mirror, I knew instantly that I had found the dress.

  My eyes watered as the image looking back took my breath away. I almost didn't recognize myself. Six months pregnant, the pregnancy had plumped up my cheeks and a few other places I wasn't too excited about.

  Ash never complained once. He would tell me how beautiful I looked as our baby grew, changing my body along with it. And I loved him for that.

  It was a strange feeling to see how different my life had become since meeting Ash. I didn't obsess over work anymore, I wasn't fixated on it all. I let other people take over, giving myself the space I needed to truly be free.

  I was finally happy in a way I had never experienced before. I loved my life and I wouldn't change it for the world.

  Clint was serving out some time for extortion. He didn't get as much as I would have liked. His father had pulled some strings and got him a reduced sentence, which I wasn't thrilled about at first.

  But I had to come to terms with it, refusing to waste one more breath on that asshole. He was gone, I would never have to deal with him again, that was all that mattered. There was an end to that chapter of my life and a new one was beginning.

  “What do you think?” Dylan asked, adjusting the veil so it fell over my shoulders.

  “It's gorgeous.” Running my hands over the beaded top, I traced the delicate diamonds with the tips of my fingers.

  “You want to go show your dad?” she asked, leaning over my shoulder and peering back at me through the mirror.

  Nodding through my tears, I picked up the front of the dress as she lifted the train. My legs and hands were shaking as I took my place on the center of the small stage.

  My father cupped his mouth, his eyes filling with more tears than I was crying. “You're beautiful, sweetie, simply beautiful.” Standing up, he climbed up to my side and took my hands to hold my arms out and spin me around.

  “You think?”

  “I know.” Squeezing both my shoulders, my father leaned in and spoke into my ear soft and gentle. “Your mother would love it.”

  As we cried together, I felt my heart pulse as if my mother was hugging me from the inside. She wasn't there with me physically, but I felt her all around me.

  And that was all I needed.

  I wasn't walking this road alone. I had my father, my brother, and the spirit of my mother carrying me along.

  There was no one missing, because my mother lived on inside me, she lived in the eyes of my father and the voice of my brother. My wedding day would still have everyone that meant the world to me.

  Ash and this baby would be my future, they were going to be the family I would grow with, that I would share memories, happy and sad. It would be perfect.

  But I always had my parents, they would always be there even when they weren't anymore.

  That was what I had to learn, that was what I needed to see.

  As long as I had people around me that loved me endlessly, then I had everything I would ever need.

  The world had been in my palm and I didn't even know it.

  Ash gave me that, he showed me what it meant to be alive.

  He showed me what it meant to be loved.

  Ash

  My hands were sweating and my chest was heavy. Adjusting the collar of my shirt, my brother leaned in and whispered into my ear.

 
“You need someone to hold your hand?” His voice rumbled with laughter as he bumped me with his shoulder jokingly.

  “Shut up,” I said, laughing.

  Drawing in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. My hands were jittery, trembling slightly at my sides as I stood at the alter and waited for my bride.

  The music started playing and my heart lurched, turning from rapid thumps into full blown drumming. The blood flowed through my veins, so hot and thick I could hear it in my ears.

  The small group of people seated before me all rose to their feet, turning their heads to look up the aisle.

  Leaning into my ear, my brother Sergio said, “Here we go, you ready little brother?”

  “I've been ready since the moment I met her.” Cupping my hands in front of my waist, I waited anxiously to see Nola.

  The doors opened in the back of the room, allowing a burst of bright sun light to come rushing in.

  Her silhouette hit the floor first, forcing my body to break out in a cold sweat. And as I watched her step into view, my knees buckled, almost dropping me to the floor.

  Wow, she looks amazing.

  Her dress glittered, creating halos of rainbow colored sparkles to explode throughout the room.

  I heard an audible gasp, not realizing until afterwards that it came from me.

  She took my breath away, stealing it right out of my lungs. She had the power to bring a man to his knees, to manipulate any heart into beating for her. . .

  And she chose me.

  Nola smiled as our eyes connected and I could see the tears streaking down her cheeks. The bouquet of orchids cascaded down over the back of her hands hiding her belly.

  I was tempted to run off the alter and throw them away. I wanted to see both my girls.

  Her father kissed her on the cheek, taking her by the hand and passing her to me. His grin was contagious, spreading from ear to ear as he wiped the tears from his face.

  “Take care of my baby girl, Ash.”

  Nodding, I shook his hand. “Always.”

  Nola was crying, but her smile was huge. Handing her flowers to Beth, she gave her a small hug and turned back to me.

  I knew it was against the rules, maybe even bad luck, to kiss the bride before it was proclaimed that I could. So I resisted, wrapping my hands around her belly and kissing our baby instead.