To the Devil's Tune

by Barnard, Jo

  I boarded the plane, not knowing whether I’d be taken home by bus or by Guy. Either way, it didn’t matter, I thought. I was happy to be going home to start my new adventures.

  I took out my notepad and pen, and starting listing the items I’d bought for the shop, along with the cost prices while they were still fresh in my mind. On a separate sheet, I made a note of what I thought the items would sell for, and was keen to know what Saffie would think too. It would be interesting to see if we were thinking along the same lines, as this had always been Saff’s territory up until now.

  “Beautiful scarf and brooch,” commented the air hostess as she leant over to pass me my meal. “Where did you get them from? My sister would love something like that for Christmas.”

  “Funnily enough, I bought them at a bazaar in Patiala. I’ve got loads in my case to take back home. I’ll be selling them in my gift shop.”

  “Ooh, really? Well, if I give you my address, will you post me one of each? Those colours would be perfect on her.”

  “I can, with pleasure, but what about the Christmas post? We’ve probably missed the guaranteed time by now. I tell you what, would you like the ones I’m wearing? They’re literally fresh on for the flight.”

  “Why not? That sounds great. Thank you. Let me finish dishing these dinners out and I’ll be back with some money.”

  I removed the emerald silk scarf and jewelled brooch immediately for fear of spilling plane food down them, and popped them carefully into a brown paper bag I’d got at the airport. If that wasn’t confirmation that these items would sell well, then I didn’t know what would be. The hostess didn’t even discuss price, she just wanted them. I couldn’t wait to tell Saffie.

  The rest of the flight passed quickly. I finished reading the inspiring book that Annie had leant me, and then dozed until we touched down.

  My huge case was waiting for me on the revolving belt, and I asked the man standing next to me if he’d mind helping me wrestle it to the ground and onto my trolley, which he kindly did. I turned my phone back on to find no messages, so I headed for the bus station.

  But as I emerged from the airport building and went to join the queue, a message came through and I realised I’d only just got a signal.

  On my way, Jude. Will meet you in Car Park C. Guy J

  I headed towards Car Park C to find Guy already there waiting with his usual friendly smile.

  “Hey, how was your trip?” He lifted my case into the boot. “Blimey! What’s in here, a collection of boulders? You trying to give me a hernia or something?” He winked.

  “New stock for The Treasure Chest, Guy. And I’m very excited about it. Thanks so much for picking me up.”

  “Ah, no worries. I was only sitting at home with Phoebe anyway. So? Tell me all about it, I’m intrigued.”

  “Well, the reason I went back was to catch up with a couple of special ladies who had been so kind to me when I went to live out there. We had some really lovely times together. And I also took the opportunity to buy some stock for the shop, and order some meditation bits for Grace.”

  “Sounds cool. So, did you hook up with your husband? Ex-husband, whatever he is?”

  “Well I didn’t intend to, but yes, we hooked up.”

  Guy turned his head to look the other way. “And how did it go?”

  “It was a bit of a rollercoaster to be honest with you, and it caused me to wobble big-time. But thanks to the twelve steps, and thanks to Annie and you guys, I was able to recognise that I had the power to get off whenever I wanted. I just had to ask for the courage and strength.”

  “So, do you still love him? I mean, do you want to sort things out?”

  “Do you know, Guy, I thought I did still love him. Even after what he’d done. I loved him so much that I believed there could never be anyone else. That no one else could ever come close to what we had. I’d kind of accepted that I was destined for a lonely future.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I realise that what we had was unhealthy. It wasn’t real; it was too dreamlike. It couldn’t last, and it certainly didn’t survive the challenging times. But I needed to spend time with him again to really see that.”

  “Hence your message about the enlightening time over there?”

  “Exactly. But if it wasn’t for the steps, and for friends like Annie, Saffie and you, I’d be back there in his arms again, believing his every word, and waiting on him hand and foot. So, thank you.”

  Guy looked at me and smiled. “All part of the service, madame.”

  He pulled into my car parking space outside my flat. It was cold and dark, and a frost had already started to form on the cars.

  “Fancy a cuppa? I’ve got the most amazing cake in my bag, freshly baked by my wonderful friend, Gulab. Chai Masala. Can I tempt you with a slice?”

  Guy looked at his watch. “Hmmm. Ten o’clock. It’s past my bedtime you know. Oh, go on then, I’ll make an exception and have a quick cuppa, as it’s you.” He opened the boot. “I suppose you want me to break my back, carrying this beast up for you as well then, do you? I tell you what, this cake had better be nice.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  It was Tuesday morning and I didn’t want to wake up. As I peeled my eyelids back to the open position, I wished I’d taken an extra day off to recover from a hectic past few days. But once I’d got myself into the upright position, I remembered how I couldn’t wait to see Saffie and show her all the wonderful things I’d bought for The Treasure Chest…

  The bus ride in was a bit of a struggle with my huge heavy case in tow, but fortunately there were enough kind people around who were willing to help. Reaching my destination, and ignoring a fundraising rotary-club elf, who was shaking a money box in my face, I lugged it over the threshold of the shop with a huge sigh of relief.

  “Aha! The wanderer returns!”

  “As if I wouldn’t. Give us a hug.”

  “So, how was it? And what the heckidy heck have you got in there?”

  “Saff, you wouldn’t believe it. The trip was a real rollercoaster of highs and lows.”

  “Uh oh, don’t tell me…Matt was involved.”

  “Yes, he was, Saff, but I didn’t go looking for him, he walked in on a meal I was at. Anyway, long story short, I went back with him, we slept together…”

  “Oh, Jude, no!”

  “Yes, Saff, it happened, but it took for me to do that to realise that I don’t want him anymore. It’s over, and I’m going to file for divorce.”

  “Yay! That’s brilliant news, honey. Good riddance to bad rubbish. He was never good enough for my lovely Jude.” She hugged me again.

  “But the rest of the trip was fab. It was great to spend time with my friends. Meeta’s pregnant, so that was a wonderful surprise. And we did some serious haggling in the bazaars. I can’t wait to show you what’s in my case. Oh, and the money came through from Dad’s house too.”

  “Crikey, it has been a busy few days! Let’s stick the kettle on then and have a look in this case. I’m intrigued!” I wheeled the case through to our empty Box of Delights. “So what time did you get home last night?”

  “I got in about ten-ish. Guy dropped me home, bless him.”

  “Oh, did he now?” Saff winked as she handed me my coffee.

  “Yes, he did. Now try some of this wonderful cake, made by the not-so-fair hands of my lovely friend, Gulab.”

  “Ooh, don’t mind if I do. Smells delicious. Anyway, Judith, we have digressed. What’s going on with you and Guy? Is it luuurrrrrvvvv? He is rather cute.”

  “To be honest with you, Saff, I don’t know what it is. I do really like him and I thought about him a lot while I was away, but then again, I thought about you lots too.”

  “Oh my God, you’re not after a threesome are you?!” Saffie giggled.

  “And I thought about Annie too.”

  “Hey, this is turning into a full-blown orgy! That’d be enough to finish poor old Annie off!” Unable to ignore he
r silliness any longer, we both had a good old chuckle, slurped our coffees and finished our cake. “Well, that was delish. Now show me, show me.”

  I began to remove and lay out the silk scarves and wall hangings, pashminas, brooches, bangles, beaded slippers and bags, and explained what I’d paid for them all. Saffie was thrilled to bits and we spent much of the day deciding on prices, setting things out, and displaying samples in the window.

  Towards the end of the day, I received a message from Annie, asking how I was, so I decided to call in on her on my way home, to catch up and return her book.

  As always, she greeted me with a warm sunny smile, and I was delighted to see her looking stronger on her feet. I told her all about my eventful few days in Patiala and my awakening. Annie listened and nodded along with interest, and she seemed pleased that I’d overcome another big hurdle.

  “So, darling, a little birdie tells me that you asked Guy to pick you up and drive you home last night.”

  “Yes I did. It feels wonderful having such a dependable friend in my life; one who understands me.”

  “And is that all he is to you, darling, a friend?”

  I felt myself blush. “Well to tell you the truth, Annie, I really like him. I mean, I reeeaally like him. I thought about him a lot while I was away. But the thing is, I don’t know if he wants anything more than friendship. He hasn’t tried to kiss me – well, only a peck on the cheek last night when he left my flat. And I don’t feel the way I felt with Matt when I’m with him. So how do I know whether I’m just trying to fill another void?”

  “Well, darling, do you feel that you want him, or do you feel that you need him?”

  “I guess it’s more of a want rather than a need. With Matt it was a need. A desperate need.”

  “It was co-dependency then, darling, but you’re stronger now.”

  “Yes, and I can see that now. But the last thing I want to do is spoil a friendship with Guy, so maybe I should just be grateful for what we already have.”

  “Yes, you must be grateful, Jude, because it’s precious. And so is Guy. And if it’s meant to develop, then it will happen, darling, it will.”

  “You’re right, as always, Annie.”

  “It comes with being old, darling,” she winked, “but I feel I need to tell you that Guy seems to be sharing the same sentiments and concerns as you at the moment. He really likes you too. Reeeaaally likes you! But he doesn’t want to take advantage of you while you’re healing, or get in the way of your recovery. He’s a sensitive soul that one.”

  “Oh, I see. And what do you think? Do you think we’re both ready?”

  Annie closed her eyes for a moment. “I don’t suppose you have your cards with you do you, darling?”

  I rummaged around in my huge bag which I hadn’t yet unpacked from India. “Yes I do…right here.”

  “Good, because I feel we need to pick one and ask for some guidance. Pass them over, darling.”

  Annie shuffled the deck with her large hands, fanned the cards out, chose one and turned it over in front of us. ‘SPIRITUAL UNION – joyous bliss’.

  We looked at each other and laughed. “Well, if that’s not confirmation, darling, then I don’t know what is.”

  I felt my heart begin to swell. I was in no great rush to be completely intense with someone again; not with the shop about to reopen, but the thought of having love, understanding, companionship and someone handsome to cuddle up to did sound highly appealing.

  “Leave it with me, darling. I’ll see you right.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The Box of Delights was coming on a treat. Furnished with whites and brights, it looked very angelic. Our weekly activities had fallen into place nicely and I was able to get cracking with the advertising and give the finer details to Guy to produce some leaflets.

  Monday evenings would offer an hour of kundalini yoga, followed by an hour of meditation with Grace. We’d play it by ear and see what the demand was. Shona was offering her acupuncture services on a Tuesday, Toni would be in the shop on Wednesdays doing spiritual healing, Rose would be giving readings on Thursdays, and Grace was back in on Fridays, offering massage.

  We didn’t know how it would fair, but we both had a good feeling about it. The ladies would pay us a percentage of their takings, so it was in our interest as well as theirs to push the services. Luckily, there wasn’t much in the way of competition in the high street, and many of our regular customers were loyal and fairly spiritual too. So this was where we would focus initially, handing out flyers with every purchase, and tempting them with introductory deals, in the hope that they would tell their friends.

  With Christmas only a week away, the shop was busy; especially so as we offered a free festive gift-wrapping service at this time of year which always proved popular. When it came to wrapping pressies, Saffie and I were the masters and could even multitask too. The phone rang and I popped it under my chin, allowing me to continue with the tape, the ribbons and the bows.

  “Jude, it’s Guy. How you doing?”

  “Oh, hi. Er, I’m busy…but great thanks. You ok?”

  “Fine and dandy, ta. Listen, I won’t keep you. Just to say that I received the copy for your flyers which all looks fine, so I’ll get onto that now. Oh…and…I wondered if you fancied seeing a film on Friday? Anyway, no need to answer now. Hopefully I’ll have these done for you today so I’ll call in with them later. The sooner you can start handing these out the better.”

  “Cinema sounds great. And thanks for sorting the flyers. You’re an angel. Well, you know, a masculine one, not a pink and fluffy one.”

  Guy chuckled. “Cool. See you later then, and don’t work too hard!”

  “I’d say the same, Guy, but I want my flyers! Only teasing. Take care and see you later.”

  I put the phone down, bagged up the lady’s gifts, and sorted her change from the till, feeling very conscious that Saffie was staring over for my attention.

  “Cinema, eh? I take it that’s a ‘date’ then?” She gave the back of my neck a little tickle.

  “Oh, I don’t know, Saff. I’m kind of hoping it is, but I don’t want to spoil things. We get on so well…you know…as friends.”

  “Well, my lovely…when you don’t know what to do…best have a brew,” and off Saffie went to the kitchen to make us a coffee, singing “Love is in the air…everywhere I look around…” and giggling to herself.

  As promised, Guy popped in later with the flyers, hot off the press. They had just the right vibe about them, making me realise even more how tuned in he was to our vision.

  “Got your meeting tonight, Jude? I hear Annie’s feeling strong enough to get there if she can.”

  “Yes, great news isn’t it? I’ve missed the group, you know. They’re a funny bunch really, but we’ve all grown rather fond of each other.”

  “That happens, Jude. It’s all about accepting people for who they are. I guess we’re all a bit odd when you think about it; all got our funny little ways.”

  “Makes life interesting I suppose.”

  “Are you up for meditation tomorrow night?”

  “Ooh yes, most definitely. Anything to keep me sane!”

  “Great. I’ll pick you up normal time then?”

  “That would be lovely. Thanks, Guy. You are good to me.”

  “And you’re sure you’re up for Friday too? Don’t want to overload you with my good looks, wit and charm. It’s just Phoebe’s turned me down, and I can’t go on my own now can I?” He winked.

  “Sounds like a perfect end to a fabulous week.”

  “Cool. Well, enjoy your group tonight.”

  “You too, Guy.”

  “And I’ll see you tomorrow.” He strolled casually out of the shop and gave me a little wave through the window as he disappeared home.

  * * *

  The meeting was really productive and it was great to have Annie back with us. She did look a tad frail still, but she hid it well and refused to give in. W
e focused on the ‘one day at a time/just for today’ concept which was incredibly helpful for everyone to take on board. It means that whenever we get overwhelmed by life’s happenings, we need only focus on today; not tomorrow or next week, and not on the ifs, buts and maybes. This enables us to step out of our fears and into our power of the here and now.

  Annie paired us up and asked if we’d share our experiences of this idea with each other over the Christmas period. We wouldn’t be meeting for a couple of weeks, but this way, we had Annie as a contact, and also our partner to help keep us on track. I was paired with the lovely Ray, who found this concept tremendously helpful, given his current debt problems.

  Our Thursday-night meditation session with Grace covered a similar theme; focusing on the present moment to keep us sane over the Christmas period. So many people were run ragged; hosting large numbers and trying to please everyone with their cooking skills and their gift choices. I for one was delighted to have broken free from all these expectations, and looked forward to pulling a cracker with Saffie and Sol, tucking into a roast together, slouching in our pyjamas, and nodding off in front of the telly whenever we wanted to. And I was mightily thankful that I wouldn’t be missing Matt over the festive period too…wishing he’d call, craving his cuddles or feeling like half a person without him.

  I’d give Mum a call on Christmas morning and wish her and Francine a lovely day, but that was as far as family went now, and I was absolutely fine with that.

  Before I knew it, Friday was here, and wanting to make an effort for my evening with Guy, I took time to apply body scrubs and creams, ensuring that I was smooth all over and smelling divine. Nurturing my body made me feel sensual, and this was an important part of who I wanted to be. I’d thought carefully about what underwear to put on, and decided to go for a pale-pink laced camisole which ruched up at the centre to reveal my midriff, and a small pair of matching lace knickers. The camisole flattered and framed my breasts, making me look womanly, without looking tarty, and the knickers left more to the imagination than a thong, but had a subtle sheerness to them. I hoped Guy would appreciate my choice, as I didn’t have a clue what he liked in that department.