Without Warning (Capparelli & Co. Book 1)

by Dee Lagasse

  I’m not too sure why I thought staying in this massive cabin would be a brilliant idea. Even with Ellis just down the hall, and the music blasting in my headphones, the quiet stillness is a loud reminder of who isn’t here. There’s nowhere I love more than this cabin, more than this mountain. This is my safe place. This has always been my refuge from the craziness of the world.

  When my mom left, I came up here…with Chase and our friends. When I didn’t get accepted to Berkley, I came up here…with Chase. When I found out that Davis was being deployed to Iraq, I came up here…and Chase knew exactly where to find me. Everywhere I turn, there’s a memory with him. The newest ones of his lips on mine and our bodies colliding in these sheets replay over and over in my head.

  God, how could I have been so stupid? How could I have even tangled with the thought of letting it become more than what it was? How could he kiss me? How could he keep kissing me after I told him that it would change everything? That I couldn’t go back to the way it was after that? How did I let myself fall for the unattainable Chase Merrimack? I knew better than anyone that his heart was untouchable. Chase didn’t love. Chase didn’t do relationships or commitment.

  For the first time since my mom left, I sob until there’s absolutely nothing left in me. I cry for the love lost, the love that could have been, and the love that never had a chance.

  Chapter Twenty

  Chase

  My living room is full. Twenty teenage boys have taken over the first floor of my house and are now screaming at the football game on the TV. But somehow, the whole house feels empty. I feel so empty. There is no time for self-pity though. I knew what I was doing. I knew who and what I was leaving behind at that cabin yesterday, and now I need to deal with it. On my own time.

  Right now there are boys watching me, counting on me to be the hero, depending on me to stand strong and defend them. When the game was over, I would hand out the permission slips they would need to bring to school tomorrow. Pulling every string I had, I managed to get the team a sit in during a Patriots practice, followed by a tour of the facility. A few hours on the phone between yesterday and today with the principal, the superintendent of schools, and multiple people at Gillette Stadium, I managed to pull off the best apology I could think of for these boys.

  Nothing was left to be figured out by the school. The Patriots’ bus would pick them up after homeroom, and we would be back before the bell rang at the end of the day. And Aaron was put on paid leave until a full investigation was made into him threatening my players. I would have preferred his ass fired, but I’ll take what I can get for now. Which is why I invited Tuck over today, too. He was watching the game with the Capparellis, something I couldn’t do even if I wanted to. After the game, he and Lola were going to come over for dinner. Though knowing where they were leaving to come here, I knew there was a good chance they would come with full bellies. The Capparelli women used any excuse to make the day into a festive event.

  With Aaron gone, I would need the extra help on the field. Knowing that Tuck had asked to change his crew’s shift so that he had time to pick up Lola from kindergarten meant he would be out of work by the time practice started. Covering my bases, I had already called my mom and asked her if Lola could come to the salon on bad weather days or if she didn’t want to hang out at the field. Not only had she eagerly agreed to help with Lola if Tuck said yes, she, completely oblivious to the events of the day before, made sure to let me know how excited she was to have coffee with Hollis on Thursday.

  Luckily, the doorbell rang, and I had an excuse to get off the phone with her before she called me out on my awkward silence. When I opened the door, Kandi, the Capparelli & Co. catering coordinator, handed me a stack of pizzas and then went to her car and grabbed a heaping stack of her own, too. Twelve extra-large pizzas - “six cheese and six pepperonis,” she told me, as I brought them to the breakfast bar. Reaching in my pocket for the cash to pay for them, she waved it off, handing me a blank receipt with handwriting I recognized right away.

  Good luck, Chase.

  -H

  So impersonal, so unlike her. I don’t know what hurt worse, her cordial demeanor or knowing that even with everything that happened, she made sure the boys of my team were taken care of. It was like a slap in the face and a knife to my heart at the same time. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t concentrate on the game in front of me. All I could think about was her. I worried if she was okay, wondered if she was hurting like I was. Despite knowing that what I did was for the best in the long run, it didn’t make it any easier right now.

  The next hour rolls together like big snowball of events. The eruption of cheers when New England wins the football game is minimal compared to the roar when I tell my team how I planned on making up their Friday game. Handing out the permissions slips, I reiterate to them half a dozen times before they leave that they must have the forms filled out to go tomorrow. As the last kid is being picked up, Tucker and Lola walk through the front door. The bright, excited smile of my sweet niece makes my heart forget how much self-inflicted hurt it was feeling.

  “Hiiiiiiiii, Uncle Chase!” she squeals as she jumps into my arms. “Guess what?”

  “What’s that, Lola Grace?” I ask, genuinely smiling for the first time since I left the cabin.

  “Auntie Hollis is takin’ me to see Taylor Swift tomorrow! THE Taylor Swift. And, Uncle Chase,” she exclaims, her words rolling into each other as she jumps up and down. “She said I can meet her.”

  “Whoa. You are gonna have so much fun!”

  “I know!!!” She giggles and spies the boxes of pizza from Capparelli & Co. still sitting on the breakfast bar. “Is that Nonno’s pizza?”

  “It is,” I tell her. “I was going to see if you guys wanted to order something else. There’s plenty left if that’s what you want though.”

  “I’m good with Cap & Co. pizza,” Tucker interjects. “Just beer me, set Lo up with Disney on the big TV, and then you can kiss my a-s-s while I pretend not to know you need my help with the team.”

  Mom. I should have known she would give him a heads up. No doubt begging him to help me out.

  “And don’t worry,” he continues as he takes a piece of cheese pizza out of the box for Lola, popping it in the microwave, and grabbing a bottle of water for her before making his way to the living room. “I didn’t tell her about Hollis.”

  “What about Hollis?” I question, following him into the next room, wanting to know what he knows, or what he thinks he knows. Hollis’s Instagram post a few hours after I left said that she was in the mountains, but it didn’t look like anyone was with her. If he had something going on with Ellis, it wouldn’t surprise me if Ellis told him anything Hollis said. I know that Hollis trusted her cousin, but Ellis wasn’t exactly known for being the most discreet or trustworthy when it came to keeping people’s secrets.

  He doesn’t answer me as I set up the TV for Lola, putting on Disney Junior for her. As soon as she sees Mickey Mouse come onto the TV, Tucker and I are invisible to her. Once he’s sure she’s content, without a word, Tucker heads back into the kitchen, and helps himself to a beer in my fridge before taking his own slice of pizza.

  “I don’t know man,” he says, popping the cap off his beer and taking a big sip. “All I know is that you guys were all over each other at the wedding, you stormed off the next morning, and I walked in to see Hollis crying like I’ve never seen anyone cry in my life. I mean, I’m talking I was reminding her to breathe, Chase. And then she disappeared into the woods for hours. She wouldn’t talk to me about it. She wouldn’t talk to Ellis later after I left…and I’m not here to point fingers, because I love you both, but before she left, I asked her not to give up on your stubborn ass and she looked me in the eyes and told me that you gave up on her…”

  Opening my mouth to form a rebuttal, I find myself at a loss for words. When I left, I had no idea it would have that kind of effect on Hollis. I knew she’d be pissed, but sobbi
ng so hard she couldn’t breathe? If that’s not throwing salt on an open wound, I don’t know what is.

  “Yeah, exactly,” Tucker agrees to my non-vocal response, as if he can read my mind. “And then she makes plans with mom, outside of the house. She gives me suite tickets to the Bruins game and asks me if she can bring Lola to see Taylor Swift. Like, she’s trying to tell us that no matter what happens between you guys, she’s not leaving this time.”

  As my brother grabs another slice of pizza, I inhale and then exhale a big breath.

  “Hollis and I,” I sigh, then continue, “Crossed a line we shouldn’t have this weekend. We said a lot of stuff in the heat of the moment. And I wanted it, man. It’s no fucking secret I’ve loved that girl since we were kids. I thought it was finally fucking happening. But man, it’s only been a month since she broke up with Noah. What if this was just some rebound thing? And even if it’s not. Man, what the fuck do I have to offer a girl like her? She wants the real thing. What the fuck do I know about being in a committed relationship? I don’t do the girlfriend thing. So, what happens when she realizes I am not boyfriend material? We lose years of friendship and we’re right back to where we started, except then, we don’t even have a friendship.”

  “You are a fucking idiot,” my little brother shakes his head in disbelief when I take a break from my mini tangent. “Hollis Capparelli would move Heaven and Earth for you, ya dumbass. You don’t think she’s loved you just as long? Fuck, we all knew you guys would end up together, eventually. Who fucking cares about Noah. He’s a douche and according to Ellis, it was over looooong before they broke up. I cannot fucking believe you walked away from her. I love you, big bro, but man, you are so dumb.”

  “Even if I wanted to try and fix this, it’s too late, Tuck,” I sigh. “By now, Hollis has her mind made up and I can promise you, she’ll want nothing to do with me.”

  “Then you better think of something pretty fucking epic to win her back.”

  With that, I know he’s right. Sending Ellis and Kinley texts, I get the ball rolling. This is going to take some work, and I’m going to need some help.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Hollis

  Auto-pilot. That’s what I’ve been on all week. No matter where I go, I can’t escape Chase. When I went over Ellis and Cole’s apartment for our weekly dinner on Tuesday, they had ordered from La Mesa. Hoping to avoid a margarita-fueled meltdown, I passed when Cole offered me one. Which quickly led to being interrogated by Kinley, and me having a completely sober meltdown at the kitchen table.

  He’s in the songs I play on the radio in the morning…when I have to pretend that everything is okay, and my life isn’t fucking falling apart behind the airwaves. And then came coffee with Mischa. I put on a brave face and a fake smile, but like the good mom that she is, she saw right through my act, and eventually, she broke me. Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse, there I was, sobbing like a fucking idiot in the middle of Starbucks.

  I tried so hard to act like I was just angry, that I could just push him and my hurt aside and move on. But I was broken. Completely shattered. At night, he was the ghost haunting my dreams. Every morning, I would wake up with stupid false hope only to be crushed down by the reality of the situation I had found myself in. In the morning on the air, on the drive home, at the three concerts I co-hosted during the week, I felt like a fucking zombie.

  I had my bartending shift covered on Friday night, Cole covered for me on Saturday doing a double set of karaoke, but there was no way I could escape tonight.

  Tonight, my favorite day of the year, and I am an empty shell of a person, dreading what lies ahead of me.

  “Does your sour puss have anything to do with the fact that you’ll be seeing Chase tonight? Because I saw him today, Hollis Grace with the sad face. He’s doing no better than you.”

  Tonight is the one Sunday of the year there is no dinner at Nonna and Nonno’s house, because tonight is the 20th annual Capparelli & Co. Halloween Gala. Twenty years ago, my Nonna and Gramma O’Brien put together the first Gala after my Gramma O’Brien—a high school math teacher—had gone to my Nonna when the high school’s girls’ basketball team desperately needed a sponsor or they wouldn’t have the funds to play their winter season. My Nonna not only sponsored the team that year, but decided that the one season wasn’t enough. With just a few weeks to spare before Halloween, she and my Gramma worked together to put together a big party with all the proceeds going to the high school’s athletic department. Every year it gets bigger and better.

  When I started working at The Ranch, I invited a few people to the event and before I knew it, the radio station was involved too. Just like the last couple years, I would MC the first half of the event during the live performances and then Troy, The Ranch’s night time DJ, would go live on the air and DJ the event for the rest of the night. Normally I live for this night. Every year I try to top the previous year’s costume and this year, I had been able to pull some strings at the radio station. Managing to get a few bigger names to come perform, it drew in a larger crowd than normal. Devin Dawson, an up-and-coming country artist, had even agreed to do a meet and greet, donating all proceeds to the Athletic Department as well.

  Instead of telling my cousin that I want to do anything but go to the Halloween Gala tonight, I shrug it off, telling her I’m just tired. I don’t want to put on my peppy morning show persona and yeah, I really don’t want to see Chase.

  Leaving me to get changed into my costume, Ellis tells me she’s going to use the mirror in the bathroom and she’ll be back in a few minutes. After about ten minutes, the door opens back up and my cousin lets out a “whoa” while motioning for me to turn around.

  “Is that a good whoa or a bad whoa?” I ask nervously. After the hour it took to do my make-up and the pep talk I needed to give myself to pull the tags off the costume, I hope it isn't a bad “whoa.”

  “That is partially a ‘whoa, Chase is going to lose it when he sees you’ kind of whoa and an ‘Uncle Lorenzo and Davis, who are both upstairs, are going to have heart attacks when they see you in this costume’ kind of whoa,” she laughs as she zips the back of my skirt for me.

  Taking another look in the mirror, I suddenly feel thankful that I got my behind out of bed every morning for those runs with Davis. For months, I had planned on going as hipster Ariel from The Little Mermaid tonight. I figured a clamshell t-shirt, a pair of mermaid leggings, a red wig, and a pair of big black specs would do the trick. Then Tuesday after work, Ellis and Cole called to see if I wanted to go costume shopping with them after our weekly dinner. I already had everything I needed, but I didn’t want to sit in my house stewing over the Chase situation any more than necessary.

  The owner of the boutique is friends with my aunts and helped Cole and Ellis pick out the perfect, last minute costumes for this weekend. Despite me trying to convince them that I was content with my hipster Ariel costume, somehow I let them talk me into buying a whole new, very different mermaid costume.

  The hot pink sequined sea shell cups with underwire fit looks like a sparkly push-up bra. A very fitted metallic green skirt with the scale pattern hugs every single one of my curves all the way down to the ruffled organza “tail.” Ellis had spent an hour using fishnet stockings over my face, creating scales on my face and neck. Finishing off the costume is a huge, dramatic seashell crown. For a girl who spends most of her time in jeans and band tees, I feel completely out of my element right now.

  I look around my room for anything I may be forgetting, put my lipstick in my clutch, and walk downstairs to see my dad and brother waiting at the bottom. It feels like a cliché movie scene except I’m not in a ball gown and there’s no date waiting for me at the bottom the stairs. Coordinating their costumes this year, my dad and Davis are quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve seen in my entire life. They’re both in faded jeans, white high-top sneakers, and have big black wireless headphones sitting around their necks. My dad’s shirt is black w
ith white letters that says, “The Original” on the front and “Poppa Cap” on the back. Davis’s shirt says, “The Remix” on the front and “Big D” on the back.

  “I wish you were sixteen, so I could go tell you to change your costume,” my dad sighs before turning to my brother. “You look like a mermaid princess, but isn’t there some law that says the sister of a police officer needs to completely covered, Davis?”

  “Ha,” my brother laughs. “I wish, Pop. I’m going to spend half the night reminding my co-workers my sister is off-limits.”

  “What about me?” Ellis pouts, causing a scoff from my dad. Her bright blue hair is pulled into a messy bun, tied with a black bandana at the top. A short bright orange jumpsuit cut just below her ass with “PRISONER” and a slew of random numbers painted on the back is halfway unbuttoned, exposing her lacy black bra. Everyone knows that at last year’s Halloween event, she went home with Davis’s superior. The year before that was Travis’s partner…

  “Your costume is, uh, appropriate,” my brother starts. “But, you’ve already slept with half the department, so if you’re trying to catch the attention of any of Abbott Hill’s finest, I suggest you try the rookies.”

  “Four guys,” shaking her head in disbelief as she corrects him. “And one of them was before he was a cop, Davis.”

  Before Davis can argue, we are interrupted by the doorbell. Shaking my head at the two of them, I make my way to the door, assuming it’s Troy here to meet me before the Gala. When he texted me this morning, asking if I wanted to together, I didn’t think anything of it before texting him back a quick “Sure! Sounds great!” I assumed it was just because we were both going to the same place tonight and it was my family’s event.