by Kimber White
“Was she still in love with Tucker? Is that why she didn’t want to live?”
Luke nodded and stabbed the stick into a soft patch of earth. “That was a big part of it. But, something was wrong with her. She left Tucker because he couldn’t give her a child. She blamed him for that. It weakened his standing with the Wild Lake packs because she didn’t keep quiet about it. Then, she came here. It became obvious pretty quick that Tucker hadn’t been the problem. It was Magda. She couldn’t get pregnant by anyone. It was coming to a head. Asher was going to have to make a choice. An Alpha who can’t sire won’t stay Alpha for long.”
My heart lurched. Oh my God. Even Mal had used that bit of misinformation to make Reed, Barrett and Jake question whether following Tucker was right for the pack. I wanted to hate Magda for it, but I’d seen that look of hopelessness then peace in her eyes just before she died. I knew Tucker would have forgiven her and somehow, so could I. But now I also thought I understood what had made Magda flee Asher and Kentucky and head back to Michigan. “So Magda made the choice for him.”
Luke nodded. “She left Asher. She went back to Tucker, or tried to.”
I ran a hand across my face. Tucker hadn’t told me that part. Had he seen her just before she ran out alone on that stormy night just a few short months ago and put herself in my path?
“That’s why Asher and a few of the others risked coming back to Michigan. Asher wanted her back in spite of everything that happened.”
“Tucker turned her away,” I spoke it at the same time I realized it as truth. It explained the haunted, lost look I’d seen in Magda’s eyes as she lay dying. She died of a broken heart as much as her physical injuries. I’d seen her guilt for spreading false rumors about Tucker, her despair at having him reject her and the knowledge she could never have children. It must have all been too much for her to bear so she chose a different path for herself and let me strike her when she knew I could do nothing to avoid it.
I did let the tears fall. God. The hopelessness in Magda’s eyes. The pain. I understood it. Tucker hadn’t rejected me but he was gone from my heart just the same. I felt a strange kinship with Magda and regretted not getting to know her long enough to help her.
Luke must have seen something in my eyes because he seemed to read my thoughts. “If Magda had lived she would have killed you. If she saw you with Tucker, I mean. She wasn’t right in the end. She had other problems besides the feminine kind. Bipolar or something, I think. Throwing herself in front of your car wasn’t some grand romantic gesture, Neve. She was sick in her mind.”
“Still, I’m sorry for Asher’s loss. And for Magda’s.” I didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t want to admit it to Luke, much less myself. But part of me understood Asher’s rage in the hours and days following Magda’s death. If he loved her half as much as I loved Tucker, I could almost forgive him for lashing out at the person he held responsible for killing her. Me. But I couldn’t forgive him for everything else that followed. I found no solace in the bitter irony that perhaps now, Asher and I were even.
Luke nodded his head. He reached out and put his hand on my knee. I didn’t flinch. Didn’t pull away. I accepted it for the comfort he tried to give.
“God, this is so screwed up,” I said. “My life was so much simpler before I let a pack of wolves into it.”
Luke smiled, flashing a row of white teeth and a twinkle in his eye that devastated me.
“You’re nothing alike,” I said. “How are you and Asher brothers?”
Luke laughed. “Different mothers.”
“Well, I’d like to meet yours one day. She did a fine job.”
A shadow crossed over Luke’s face and I regretted mentioning his mother instantly. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Did I say something wrong?”
Luke shook his head and brushed a hair out of his eyes. “No. It’s just . . . you’ve already met my mother. You talked about her.”
“When?”
Luke smirked, lifting the corner of his mouth and cocking his head to the side. I knew that smirk. Recognition slammed into my brain as he spoke.
“Patricia Bonner is my mother. You call her Pat.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Stars swam in front of my eyes. I put a hand down to steady myself. Pat? Sweet, kindly, tough as nails, grandmotherly Pat? My Pat?
Luke smiled again. “It’s complicated. I was kind of a late in life surprise for her.”
“But . . . she was mated to . . .” Luke McGraw. Luke. Tucker’s grandfather.
Luke nodded. “I came along after Luke died. Jarred McGraw was Alpha. Grant, my father was his best friend. Jarred sanctioned the match between my mother and Grant. It didn’t last long and they never got married. They were companions, not true mates. But, it lasted long enough for me. She named me after Luke McGraw, obviously.”
Luke shot a devilish grin but my head still spun. How terrible it must have been for Pat when the pack split apart after Tucker took over. When she’d told me she lost her son, I foolishly assumed she meant he had died. The Bonners were loyal to the McGraws. But her son was a Tully and Asher formed a new pack. Luke must have been so torn.
Something came over me then. Hours ago, I thought of this man as an enemy to my pack. Asher was, but maybe Luke wasn’t. How could I hate him when I loved his mother so much? I reached out and cradled his face with my hand. He did look like Pat. He had her same warm, green eyes and kind smile.
Except I shouldn’t have touched him. Not then. A current ran between us that I recognized for what it was. Luke was a werewolf. I was still a marked woman. My body craved the comfort and release only someone like him could give.
Tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks. My head and heart pounded as Luke stared back at me, his own lust brewing just beneath the surface. I saw his wolf eyes flash for just an instant and God help me, I felt an answering heat shoot straight through me and settle between my legs.
I couldn’t have this. Couldn’t want it. I saw Luke in a different light now, but I didn’t belong to him. He still followed Asher’s command. I drew my hand away and the instant I did it, a wave of nausea washed over me. The trees seemed to spin and I put my hand out to try and steady myself.
I ended up on my hands and knees, retching onto the ground.
“What’s wrong with me?” I managed to croak out. “Am I dying? Am I pregnant?” A spark of hope flared within me at that last thought. I would give anything to have something left of Tucker. But, somehow, I knew it wasn’t true.
Luke came to me, encircling his hands around my waist he held me as I rode out the worst of the dry heaves. Then, he helped me to my feet and lifted the canteen to my lips. I took a few soothing draughts and held my hand up, gesturing for him to take it away.
“You’re not pregnant,” he said. “You’re not in full heat yet. Tucker died before he could finish marking you completely, didn’t he?”
I nodded as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Here, sit down before you fall down.” Luke helped me to another fallen log and sat beside me.
“It’s what we call the Rise,” he said. “Just before a human woman goes into full heat, you get sick if you go too long between . . . you know.”
Luke turned bashful and I couldn’t help it that it tugged at my heart just a little. I knew what he meant. I hadn’t thought of it since Tucker had been torn from me. But, it had been like this in the beginning too, after he first marked me. If I went too long without sex, it felt like a kind of starvation. My body needed to be with a wolf as much as I needed air and food.
I touched Luke’s face again, tilting it so he looked in my eyes. He wasn’t an Alpha, he wasn’t part of my pack so I couldn’t hear his heartbeat inside me. But, I could feel it beating strong and sure under my palm when I pressed it flat against his muscled chest. The buttons of his cotton shirt were open at the collar and my fingertips brushed against his flesh. Heat seemed to arc from him to me, soothing me, quieting the chill and
rising fever. If it was possible, I drew strength from the contact.
I pulled my hand away and cradled it with my other hand against my chest as though I’d burned it. My head pounded and the chills came back. I reached out again, growing bolder, I pressed my palm against Luke’s heart. His breath quickened, his nostrils flared, but he stayed stock still as I spread my fingers out, smoothing them over his taut skin.
“Neve,” he said, his voice ragged with lust. I knew what I was doing. I was testing him as much as myself. Could he keep to his promise? He swore he wouldn’t touch me or make me do anything I didn’t want to do. He said he’d come here to protect me.
I didn’t love this man. He was not my own. And yet, my body responded to his in a way that had become so familiar to me. My sex throbbed and my breath hitched. The simple fact was, I wanted him. Badly.
I brought myself up on my knees and moved closer to Luke. He knelt before me, his hands twitching at his sides. I knew he wanted to touch me, run his hands across my back, tear at my clothes and kiss me. But, he kept himself still. Only the flash of his wolf eyes and the thumping of his heartbeat against my fingers belied the turmoil my touch brought to him.
What I did next felt right and wrong all at once. But, when I leaned in and pressed my lips against Luke’s, I let reason leave me and primal need take over. He opened his mouth and let me explore. The gentle flicking of my tongue made him moan and his body quaked with a growl of desire.
I brought my hands up, sliding them past his ears and threading my fingers into his hair, I pulled him down to me. My knees went weak and I settled back into the grass. Luke came down with me; he braced himself with his hands, hovering just above me. I tugged at his shirt, untucking it from his jeans. I slid my hands up, caressing the solid wall of muscle of his chest then bringing them around to his back.
Luke moaned again. “Neve,” he whispered. “Are you sure?”
I didn’t speak. Instead, I leaned up and kissed him again. Yes. For now, this moment, it was just the two of us alone in those woods. My fevered body cried out for the kind of relief that only a were could provide.
“Yes,” I said, my voice husky with lust and grief.
Chapter Forty
I will always be grateful at the tenderness and care Luke showed me that day. His own lust likely surpassed mine. His pack had been without a woman for months, their Alpha refusing to find a new mate. Taking me at all could put him in danger with the rest of the pack. For it’s an Alpha’s needs that must be met first. Surely, Asher knew what was happening. As Alpha, he was hardwired to every pack member, his own half-brother most of all. But he stayed away and never questioned what happened as far as I knew.
Luke gathered my wrists with one of his hands and held them over my head. Heat flowed through me, my heartbeat pounded as ran his tongue down the column of my throat. With his other hand, he lifted my shirt. With deft fingers, he unlatched the clasp of my bra and my breasts swung free.
I moaned with Luke as he swirled his tongue around one aching nipple, then the other, drawing them up into hard peaks that made me shiver as the soft breeze hit them. I arched my back as he reached down and fumbled with the zipper on my jeans. I kicked off my leather boots. Keeping my hands pinned above me against the soft cushion of leaves, Luke dragged my pants down, taking my panties with them. I wriggled sideways to help him get them past my ankles. He tossed them gently to the side.
Though he kept his hand on my wrists, Luke shifted to his side. His eyes sparkled with admiration as he raked them across my body. I shuddered with renewed desire as he did it. He held me with my arms above my head, my shirt rucked up, pushing my naked breasts up and out for his inspection. And I was completely naked from the waist down. I parted my legs for him as he looked, knowing instinctually it was what he wanted. Luke took his index finger and ran it in a straight path from my belly button to the slippery cleft between my thighs. God help me, I spread my knees flat and arched my back as he worked me there.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he used that expert finger to work me into a near frenzied state of arousal. He dipped it in and out of my slick folds. I cried out when he hit my g-spot. He kept his finger there and slid two more in. I thrust shamelessly against his hand, which spurred his lust even more.
“Please,” I begged. He wanted to make love. I wanted to fuck. But, we both knew I was his to dominate. And oh, I wanted him to so badly. But, Luke was careful, even when I wanted him rough. He played with me a while longer, enjoying the sounds I made as he ran his thumb along my swollen clit and drove his fingers ever deeper. I writhed on the forest floor for him, struggled to spread my legs wider, and begged him to give me the release my body so desperately craved. He had so much more self-control than I did and he used it to his advantage.
Finally, just as he was about to coax my first orgasm out of me, Luke withdrew his fingers and sat up. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and dragged it over his head. I brought myself up on my elbows, enjoying the view. Luke was chiseled perfection. His chest was hairless and tan. I brought myself up to my knees and ran my hand across his eight pack as he cast his shirt aside. Then, I sat back down as he loosened his belt and stepped out of his own jeans.
My heart raced at the sight of him. He was thick and long like every were I knew. His cock bobbed before me and I would have taken him in my mouth and serviced him then and there. But, Luke had other plans.
He bent down and kissed me as I rose to my knees and knelt before him. He cupped one breast with his hand and tweaked the nipple before he broke away and lowered himself.
“Ride me, Neve,” he said. “I want to watch you.”
Weakened though I was, I found the strength to straddle Luke. With his guiding hands on my hips, I lowered myself down on his massive erection. He filled me and stretched me like only a were could do. I shuddered as I took all of him in and finally settled as I felt his balls graze me.
“Fuck me,” he said, his eyes glinting.
And so I did. Luke reached up and took my hands, keeping me upright as I began a slow gyration. I slid myself up and down the length of him, enjoying the feel of his turgid cock. He pulsed inside of me. I pumped and thrust as he held my hands. My rhythm grew ever faster. He squeezed his fingers around mine to keep me steady and spur me on. Then, I went faster and faster. My thrusts became wild, erratic as my pleasure and his built. I bucked and thrust with abandon; my breasts swung and bobbed before him. He reached up and flicked my nipples with his tongue.
I cried out when he nipped me once. “Again,” I screamed. He nipped the other breast and I could hold back no longer. My orgasm ripped through me in shuddering quakes. Wave after wave of pleasure shot through me. Luke held on, letting me grind it out. I arched my back then dropped my head down. My dark hair fell over him like a curtain. As I crested down, my strength left me. I knew I’d never be able to keep myself seated.
In one fluid movement, Luke grabbed me around the waist and flipped me. I wrapped my legs around him and threaded my fingers through his hair as he pumped into me. He didn’t last long after that. I held on as he fucked me hard enough to make my teeth rattle.
“Fuck,” he cried as I felt the hot jets of his seed fill me to the brim. “Fuck me.”
On and on he went. I let my legs fall to the side and opened my thighs wider as he spasmed inside me. He clawed at the ground, bracing himself as he shuddered out the last of his release. Then he fell against me, careful not to crush me. He gathered me in his arms and held me close. I reached up and cradled his face. I peppered his lips and jawline with soft kisses.
“Thank you,” I whispered. Thank you for being there. Thank you for letting me do this on my own terms.
He smiled and kissed my forehead.
Chapter Forty-One
We were awkward with each other as we gathered our clothes and got dressed.
“Are you all right?” Luke asked me for about the sixth time.
“For now,” I said. And I was. Coupling with Lu
ke had taken the edge off my sickness and I felt like I could make it another day or two, but not much more than that. And that reality hung between us like a dark cloud. The relief was temporary. If I didn’t get back to my own pack soon, my strength would leech out of me again.
I tried to push back the reality of my predicament. If only I’d known, I would have pushed Tucker to mark me that final time. We were foolish. We thought we had all the time in the world and he knew the moment I came into a full heat, I might get pregnant. The thought of that overwhelmed me. It still did. But now, I’d give anything to be carrying Tucker’s child. If I was, I felt certain my Wild Lake pack would sense it and know how to find me.
“We should get back,” Luke said, giving voice to the thing I had feared. This had been a farce. Asher never intended to let me walk out of these woods. Luke gave me a pained, guilty expression. I suppose I should have, but I didn’t blame him for any of this. Not then. Something brewed within Asher’s pack that I didn’t quite understand. They were duty bound to follow him, but I sensed perhaps they weren’t all happy about it. I decided to press Luke.
“I’m leaving. Asher told me the way out of the woods. I’m stronger now, thanks to you. I can make it.”
“Neve,” he said. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. My anger rose.
There was still just enough sunlight. I probably wouldn’t be able to make the road before nightfall, but at least I knew the way. I started walking.
Luke didn’t follow at first. I had the strong urge to run but kept it in check. I could never outrun a were. The only way I’d make it to that road is if Asher allowed it. I kept my back straight and my eyes on the horizon. An owl hooted nearby, either in camaraderie or warning. I kept going.
With each step I took, the chills grew stronger. My body seemed to know I was trying to put distance between myself and the nearest wolf pack. For the first time since Tucker marked me, I began to resent that pull.