by Kimber White
I still had Asher’s canteen but it was nearly empty. I took the last swig and thought about casting it aside. His scent covered it. His scent covered me. So did Luke’s. I wasn’t were, but my own senses were more acute in that regard. I choked back tears. Tucker’s scent was gone. So stupid I’d been. I’d taken momentary relief from Luke and it had cost me one of the last connections I had with the man I loved and the pack he left behind.
Still, I kept walking. Luke wasn’t far behind. He didn’t give chase but I knew he was back there watching. He didn’t impede me so I didn’t see the need to stop. Let Asher force the issue. I believed in my heart that Luke on his own would let me go. He was a Bonner as much as he was a Tully. I felt it. I would use the conflict within him to my own advantage. If Asher wanted me back, he’d have to come and get me himself. The thought of that made me hasten my step.
I wasn’t scared. Not really. He didn’t want me dead. I believed that now. What he did want was almost worse. Either I was a revenge hostage or something else. Something far worse.
I don’t know how far I went but the sun had fully set. A full, bright moon rose high among the trees, lighting my way. I shivered from the cold. But I was lucky. Late November should have been colder. My blood ran hotter, a lingering gift from my time with Tucker and now Luke after that. If no wolves came after me, I could stay out all night.
The woods grew denser but my steps were sure. I kept the moon at my back and kept on going. I had to be close. A mile? Maybe two? My heart lightened at the distant sound of a car horn. Though my stomach roiled and my body started to ache again, I kept on going.
I came to the bottom of a looming hill. I knew the road had to be just over the rise. I started to climb. My heart pounded a thunderous beat behind my breast. Luke was still back there somewhere, but he still didn’t stop me. He would let me go!
My step faltered once or twice where the weeds grew thick. I clawed at the ground and pulled myself up. The hill was steeper than it first appeared but I was so close now. I wanted to call out to Mal again. Maybe with some distance from Asher, he’d be able to hear me now.
I had almost reached the top of the hill when I heard the diesel engine of a large semi. The sound of its horn blast made the ground shake and nearly brought me to my knees. I started to wave my arms and yell even though I knew it was futile. I hadn’t cleared the apex. I screamed louder anyway.
Weaving headlights curved around the bend. I yelled louder. Screamed. That’s what stopped me from accepting the other sound filling my ears. I drowned it out with my shouts. The truck passed, bearing north and going far too fast to see me. But if there was one, there had to be another. I jumped up and down and waved my arms on the off chance the driver could see the tiny speck of a stranded woman in his rear view mirror.
But, the truck was gone. The pounding in my head grew louder.
“No!” I screamed and turned back toward the woods. I would not have it. I would not stand for it.
“Let me go!”
But the heart of an Alpha roared within me, trespassing through my senses, invading my soul.
Asher stood a few yards ahead of me between me, the highway, and freedom, his wolf eyes glinting in the moonlight.
Chapter Forty-Two
“I’m sorry.”
Luke said it so many times as he stood in the doorway to my own private trailer of hell. Asher led me back here without a word. Thrashing and fighting would have served no purpose. Plus, as the night wore on, my fever came back with a vengeance. It felt like the worst hangover in my life and now just the sound of Luke’s breathing made my eardrums feel like they might burst. Asher’s presence frayed my nerves. My Alpha’s mark felt like a curse now. I couldn’t shut Asher out. From his pulse, to his simmering anger. I felt every bit of it.
“Get out.” My voice sounded distant, as if underwater. I flapped a hand at Luke and managed to raise my middle finger in the process. He stood there for a few more minutes. I closed my eyes and faked a snore. He waited then finally seemed convinced that I was actually asleep or passed out. He turned and left.
I rolled to my side and stared at the ugly, Seventies-style brown paneled walls. I missed the smell of Pat’s home cooking and the constant comfort of her bickering with Harold as I tried to fall asleep. I wonder if Luke did too. It made no sense to me why they stayed in this hellhole compound out in the middle of nowhere. They lived like refugees in FEMA trailers. I could have understood that in the days just after Asher led his new pack out of Wild Lake. But that was ten years ago. How could he keep them living like this?
Asher met Luke just outside my trailer door and bickering of a different sort started. Asher’s heart beat steady and slow. Again, I cursed my ability to hear it. I wished I had the power to squeeze the life out of him with just my mind.
“How long are you planning to go on with this?” Luke’s voice rose in anger. It surprised me. He seemed so even-keeled.
“I didn’t start it,” Asher answered, as if that was even remotely the point.
“You fucking did start it. Are you kidding me? You’re the one who insisted on chasing Magda back to Michigan and dragging us back into this shit. You breached the truce. And for what? How do you think this is going to make us look to the Chief Pack now?”
“Don’t talk to me about a truce. There was never a truce. And Magda was one of us Luke. If it had been you in trouble, I would have done the same thing.”
Silence. Maybe Luke thought Asher had a point. Or, he was deciding whether or not he believed him. I lifted myself up on my elbows and peered through the slats of the dingy Venetian blinds. They’d probably been white once, but now yellowed from years of sunlight and dust. Luke stood with his back to me, his hands on his hips. Asher was a few yards in front of him, his back to the woods.
“Why her?” Luke said.
“How can you ask me that?”
“No, I mean it. Why her? Tucker’s dead, isn’t he? If it’s revenge you wanted, you got it. That girl is broken up just like you were. And you know damn well what happened with Magda was an accident as far as her part in it. You’ve known that from the beginning. So, don’t stand there and feed me your bullshit about how you wanted to hear it from her directly. Dax and Brennan told me how you went after her and damn near killed her on the road. They said you told them you were just trying to scare her, but I don’t think they believe you. And Ben died because of it. We lost one of our own. That’s on you.”
Asher turned on him. I shrank back. His eyes flashed with menace. He lashed out so quickly, I never even saw him raise his fist. But he landed a punishing right hook across Luke’s jaw. Luke staggered back. If he’d been a normal man, the blow would have knocked him out. But, Luke’s wolf roared to life. His body shimmered and twisted.
No. God, no. If Luke shifted before his Alpha in provocation and without permission, it could cost him his life. I didn’t know what Asher had planned for me, but I knew Luke might be the only ally I had. Even if he wasn’t, he was Pat’s. That alone meant something to me.
Luke got himself under control at the last second. He slumped forward, grabbing his knees with trembling hands. Then, he slowly rose to his full height and stared Asher down. This too was a dangerous display of dominance. I found myself silently cheering Luke on. What would happen if Luke succeeded in challenging his brother? If Luke were Alpha of this pack things might turn in my favor.
“Little brother,” Asher’s voice dripped with threat. “Don’t you ever say that to me again. Ben was a soldier. He died for the pack. It’s the only good death. If you’re not willing to do the same, then I can cast you out right now.”
Luke stayed stock still. A few agonizing moments ticked by. Then finally, he dropped his shoulder and took two steps back, deferring to his Alpha. I let out a slow sigh of relief both for me, and for Pat. I wasn’t ready to lose Luke yet and it would kill her. Though I fantasized about Luke taking over, something about Asher made me realize that might be impossible. He was a di
fferent kind of wolf than Luke. Harder. Stronger. I sensed that Ash had no qualms about killing Luke. Luke did. It meant he wasn’t ready to become Alpha, if he even ever could.
Luke gave his leader a quick bow then turned to walk away. When he did it, he faced my trailer. I froze. As he walked by, Luke’s eyes flicked to the window where I crouched. He looked straight at me as he passed.
Chapter Forty-Three
Things around the compound settled into a rhythm after Luke and Asher’s confrontation. Though he clearly didn’t like it, Luke seemed to accept my presence as the pack’s prisoner. He did what little he could to make it easier for me. Sometimes, it was just a casual smile when no one was looking, or an extra treat like fresh berries with the staple meals they ate. Venison, rabbit, sometimes squirrel. They ate only what they hunted or foraged themselves.
A thousand times, I thought of running. But Asher kept me under guard twenty-four hours a day. Either Asher watched me himself or sent another member of the pack to do it. Never Luke. After that first day in the woods, he never let Luke stay with me alone. Asher no longer trusted him since that day Luke gave me comfort in the woods. His remarks to Luke always dripped with sarcasm or flat out contempt. He never mentioned my one time tryst with Luke directly, but he alluded to it plenty and always in front of the other members of the pack. The implication was clear. Luke had taken something to serve his own needs. If he tried anything like that with me again, he was going to have to be willing to share the “spoils” with the rest of the pack. The thought horrified me. It seemed to horrify Luke as well, because he never touched me again.
And so the Rise worsened. Each day, I felt a little more of my physical strength leave me. I slept later, had trouble keeping even the smallest bit of food down. Every joint in my body ached. My skin cracked easily and bled. The hidden gift in all of that was that eventually, it made the idea of escape impossible. I’d never make it more than a hundred or so yards without needing to stop and rest. So, the day came when Asher stopped guarding me. My own failing body kept me prisoner.
As the days and weeks wore on, I got to know the members of Asher’s pack and how they fit in. As his brother, Luke was Asher’s second in command. But, I began to see the title came in name only.
Dax was Asher’s next most trusted pack member. Built like a wrestler, Dax was short and compact. He shaved his head bald and had a permanent scowl on his face. I soon learned this was just a product of unfortunate laugh lines and a naturally downturned mouth. Most of the time, Dax tried to make me smile most of all, telling corny jokes as he brought me breakfast in the morning. I hate to admit it, but he grew on me after a while and I came to look forward to his booming voice.
I got to know Brennan, Joe and Sam. Brennan was a cousin of Tucker’s on his mother’s side. Other than Luke, he’d been the first to offer condolences for my loss and it endeared him to me just a little. Joe and Sam were also brothers and nephews of Grant Tully’s. There had been three others who left Wild Lake when Asher split off.
Ben had been killed by Mal when he came after me that day in the woods. It seemed so long ago. I learned from Luke that Ben hadn’t been well liked by the pack. They found him hostile and aggressive most of the time. Two older members of the pack died a few years ago. They’d been Grant Tully’s contemporaries and followed Asher out of respect.
Each of the members of Asher’s pack seemed to genuinely want to get to know me and make me as comfortable as possible while I stayed with them. I appreciated it, but it didn’t change the fact that I was Asher’s prisoner.
And another disturbing by-product of my weakening physical state developed. Asher became more lax about discussing pack business in front of me. I learned that the Kentucky packs had now declared open war on the Michigan packs, especially Wild Lake. I heard nothing about Mal and the others directly, but some of the Kentucky packs had ventured through Ohio and into southern Michigan once they learned Tucker was dead and the Hidden Forest refuge where I first met Tucker’s pack was now abandoned.
I secretly hoped Asher would lead his own raiding party back into Michigan. It would bring me closer to home. Closer to my pack and some sort of freedom. But we never left. I didn’t know the why of it, but Asher seemed agitated by this. He paced the woods like a caged animal in a zoo, restless to be on the move. And yet, we stayed in Mammoth Forest and the trailer compound as fall turned into winter.
One afternoon, I sat on a tree stump as Luke and Dax chopped wood. I relished time outdoors like this. It had grown cold, but Luke gave me an old parka and boots and I stayed snug as I watched them. Physically, I had my good days and bad days. Today fell somewhere in the middle. My fever raged. I didn’t have a scale but knew I was startlingly thin. My wrist bones stuck out in sharp points. I barely recognized my hollowed out face in the mirror. No one talked about it other than the hushed, whispered arguments I heard between Luke and Asher when they didn’t think I could hear.
Luke kept telling Asher I was in the throes of the Rise and something had to be done soon. I shuddered to think what that “something” might be. For now though, I found a small amount of peace as I sat watching Dax and Luke. I’d had a rare good morning after keeping my breakfast down. The fresh air seemed to help as well.
“But what do you do?” I asked the two of them. “I mean what kind of life is this? Just living in these trailers in the middle of nowhere. Don’t you have real houses? Real jobs?”
Dax got quiet, which was the first sign I’d hit some sort of nerve. Luke wiped his brow with the back of his hand. “It’s different down here than it is in Michigan. Kentucky were packs answer to a Chief Pack. The individual packs aren’t autonomous.”
I shrugged.
“It’s a lot more dangerous down here,” Dax answered. “Regular wolves were hunted out of here a long time ago. We have to be more cautious. There isn’t as much open land to hunt like there is up near Wild Lake. We can’t just roam where we want. When we came down, we had to get special permission from the Chief Pack for a place to stay.”
“We’re the new guys,” Luke said as he sunk his ax into a cord of wood. “Ten years later, we’re still low wolves on the totem pole. So until someplace else opens up, we’re out here in no man’s land. They can’t have us hunting where the higher packs live. You know, like civilized people or anything. This is kind of like our own little wolf reservation. If we don’t like it we can just head on back to Michigan where we came from.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. They couldn’t head back to Michigan. They were in the middle of a full blown pack war and without the support of the Kentucky packs, they’d be cut down as soon as they crossed the border.
Dax shot a look to Luke. Luke’s eyes flashed anger back. My questions burned within me. Surely it was Asher holding them back. Grant Tully’s contemporaries were long dead. Luke was Pat Bonner’s son. Asher had cut them off from their true home due to his own greed and jealousy. They were here, banished to the backwoods of Kentucky because of Asher and Asher alone.
“He’s done nothing to benefit this pack,” I was bold, giving voice to what I knew at least Luke had to be thinking. “You could go back. I could help you. I was Tucker’s mate. You understand that, right? You have nothing to fear from what’s left of his pack.”
Dax froze. Luke bristled. I knew what I was saying, what I was suggesting. Pack treason. Mutiny.
“It’s not as straightforward as you think,” Dax finally said. “Asher’s Alpha for a reason.”
“Sure,” I said. It might be the fever making me careless, but I didn’t care. “He’s the biggest bully. I get it. The rest of you just go along with whatever he says because of what . . . habit? I’ll never like that Mal challenged Tucker, but that’s how it’s supposed to work in a healthy pack. You guys just seem to want to keep your head in the sand and let him run you into wars, misery, and poverty just because it’s all you know.”
Luke threw his ax. It turned end over end and stuck in the base of a nearby tree with enough force t
o make me jump.
“Are you honestly going to tell me you’re okay with what’s happening, Luke? I know you’re not. Look at me. I’m sick. Really sick. It’s getting worse. Don’t you see it?”
I stood up and threw off the parka. I loosened the buttons on the flannel shirt he’d loaned me and let it fall off my shoulders. I still wore a bra, but my chest had sunken in. The bones of my sternum poked out along with my clavicles, sharp as razor blades.
“Look at me,” I said again. “This is Asher’s doing. He’s keeping me from getting the help or medicine I need. I need to see a doctor.”
The color drained from Dax’s face. Luke swallowed hard, working the muscles of his strong, square jaw.
My knees went weak as I felt Asher draw near. Had he heard me? Would he punish me for trying to encourage his pack to rise against him? I shivered but stood my ground, letting the shirt fall even farther so it wrapped around my waist. He came to me in two quick strides. He grabbed me. I’d grown so thin his fingers closed completely around my upper arms.
He’d heard everything. Of course he did. This was his pack. He controlled them. They could scarcely have a thought without him knowing it, much less a conversation. I’d just made things worse. Very, very much worse.
“Tell her,” he snarled.
Luke’s back stiffened while Dax’s shoulders slumped.
“Tell her! Enough is enough!”
Luke finally met my eyes. His were filled with defeat and sadness. He took a breath. In that moment before he spoke, it felt like the ground had opened up. Like I hovered over a trap door and Luke’s words would pull the lever sending me into darkness.
“We know the cure, Neve. We’ve always known how to cure you. Asher’s been willing to do it from the first day he brought you here. I’m the one who’s kept it from happening.”
He said something else but I could no longer hear. The chill in the air finally got to me and drained what little strength I had left. The blanket of darkness enveloped me.