Goddess of Night (Amaranthine Book 9)

by Joleene Naylor

  “You can’t kill her!” Katelina cried.

  Jorick took her hands. “He can, and he should. Her quality of life—”

  “Who are you to judge her quality of life? That’s the same excuse they use to kill babies, Jorick. Better they never live than have a low quality of life. But how do they know? Maybe one of those ‘useless, inconvenient’ children will grow up to do something, be something. Just because you don’t see any value in her, doesn’t mean she’s worthless! Maybe you should ask her if she wants to die.”

  Andrei’s mouth tightened until his lips disappeared. “If Jorick released his influence, you wouldn’t receive an answer to that question, only a scream; a constant, horrified, confused scream. Would you condemn her to an immortal life like that? Or worse, send her home, so that in months, or years, her mother has to end it? Do you want to look in Annabelle’s eyes and see the weight of that decision? Because I’m not going to.”

  “How do you know she’ll be like that forever? How do you know she won’t adjust, heal—”

  “Katelina,” Jorick warned.

  “How do you know?” she repeated. “When Loren lost his arm he was in shock, he was in pain. Should we have killed him instead of giving him a chance to get over it?”

  Andrei’s face twisted. “What is there for her to get over? Look at her. She will never dance again, never play again, never climb into her mother’s lap. And it won’t get better. She’ll be like this, unchanging forever.”

  Katelina opened her mouth to ask how he could be so sure, when Jorick clamped his hand on her shoulder. “You’ve had your say,” he murmured in her ear. “Go, now.”

  “No. I—”

  The world blinked, then came back far away. She shook her head, trying to grasp the voice that said, “Torina, take her somewhere.”

  She couldn’t focus as Torina led her to another room and deposited her in a chair. It was only when the door shut that the fog lifted. She was in a study, with book cases, chairs, and a desk with a computer.

  Jorick had enchanted her.

  “That asshole!” Katelina leapt to her feet.

  Torina leaned on the door. “Do us both a favor and don’t.”

  “But they—”

  “I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s not our choice.”

  “It shouldn’t be his. She’s not his daughter. She’s Annabelle’s.”

  “If you think Annabelle doesn’t know what will happen, you’re wrong. That’s why he came alone. We send men to do the things we’d rather not do ourselves, and expect them to hold up under strain we refuse to carry.”

  “They’re killing her, Torina. I realize you never met her, and that you don’t even like kids—”

  Torina closed the distance between them. She shook Katelina by the shoulders. “Don’t you tell me what I like. Jorick says to be patient with you because you’re worried for your mother, like you’re the only one who’s ever lost anyone. I watched my nephews burn to death. You might have forgotten that, but I haven’t.” She stepped away. “I hated Jesslynn, but I didn’t hate her children.”

  Katelina rubbed her shoulder. “I didn’t say you did.”

  “Didn’t you? ‘You don’t even like kids’. Or have you forgotten your own words?”

  “I’m sorry. But you’re letting them kill her!”

  “What am I supposed to do?” Torina shouted back. “She’s not my daughter. I don’t get to have one! I don’t get to have a son. I don’t get to be a mother. That all died the night Oren came back from Jorick’s with a thirst for blood.”

  She spun away, her shoulders heaving with fury. “I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t beg like Jesslynn did. I didn’t want some dark gift to save me. I wanted a husband, a house, children. I wanted all the things a lady was supposed to have, and I was beautiful enough to get it. But I didn’t. I got cold moonlight and colder arms.”

  Katelina took an uncertain step back. “Then why did he turn you?”

  “Because he attacked me. He came back, fresh and young, a fledgling of two weeks who hadn’t fed that night. First he killed my beau, then he went for me. He was a monster! And he made me one. Then he turned Jesslynn—and she did that to the children. They were only children! They had lives ahead of them. But no, she turned them because they’d lost so many. Do you know why they lost them? Because she was always pregnant. There was barely space between one birth and the next pregnancy. Alexander was healthy because the doctors advised them to abstain for a year before his conception, because Jesslynn was distraught. Do you think they made the connection? No. She blamed it on some mysterious malady, some familial weakness that needed the devil’s kiss to cure.”

  Katelina didn’t know what to say. She’d heard Oren and Jesslynn had lost several children, she’d seen their graves, but she’d never bothered to figure it out. And that Oren attacked Torina… Jorick had made the comment more than once that Oren should have left his sister human. Katelina always assumed Torina asked for it, that she wanted it. She was the type who would.

  Wasn’t she?

  “It doesn’t matter,” Torina said. “Nothing can change what is.”

  A soft knock came on the door. It opened a moment later and Zander stepped through. “Brandle suggested I speak with you.”

  “About what?” Torina eyed him up and down.

  “He felt you might need comforting.”

  “I’m sure we’re fine.” Torina flipped her hair over her shoulder.

  “You are upset.” Zander nodded to Katelina. “But death is not the end.”

  “It looks like an end to me,” Torina said.

  Zander shook his head. “It is only the beginning of the next journey. The Goddess—”

  Torina motioned it away. Normally, Katelina would have agreed with her, but not right now. Right now Zander was trying to help. The least they could do was shut up and be polite.

  He went on, “The Goddess says in her scriptures that death is merely the act of moving from our world to hers, a world of eternal night.”

  “And if this Goddess lives in this other world, how did she give you these scriptures?” Torina asked sarcastically.

  Zander fixed her with an impassive stare. “Batna can cross between the worlds at will.”

  Katelina forced a smile. “Thank you, Zander. I appreciate you taking the time.”

  “Of course.” He bobbed his head. “I also wanted to offer my commiserations regarding your friend.”

  Katelina caught her breath. Did he mean Sarah?

  “Had I realized, I could have spared you much uncertainty. From the description Brandle gave me, we saw her leading the attack at home.”

  Katelina thought of Estrilda’s memory. Lilith told Sarah she could lead the attack. Baltheir had said, “Looked like they were led by a woman. Real pretty thing. She gave orders and the rest attacked.” At the time she’d assumed he meant Lilith, but Sarah made more sense. If it was Lilith, surely he’d have commented on how old she felt?

  “Yeah,” she said finally.

  “If you seek guidance in these hard times, I would be happy to share more of the scriptures with you.”

  “To recruit us?” Torina muttered.

  Katelina shushed her and thanked him again. Assured they were feeling better, he took his leave. When he was gone, Torina laughed. “You don’t believe his nonsense?”

  “No. But I see what Brandle meant—it’s as real to him as any religion is to its follower. What right do we have to ridicule it? Especially when he only shared it to comfort us?”

  “Whatever. Enjoy your bleeding heart, embrace the universe crap. I’m going to find out if we’re having a funeral, or if he’s taking her home.”

  Torina left. Katelina sagged into the nearest chair. She didn’t know if she could face the dead child, or another funeral. Des’ was bad enough, but a child’s…Immortal or not, hundreds of years old or not, that’s what Estrilda was. A child who wanted to be a pretty fairy.

  Her mother’s memory pop
ped into her head, a Halloween long ago when she was dressed as a pirate princess and Sarah wore construction paper wings.

  “I am a fairy!”

  Alone, Katelina cried for both of them.

  Chapter Sixteen

  When Katelina finally joined the others, Andrei was in the middle of his thank yous. He held a small box under one arm, and shook Verchiel’s hand.

  The redhead looked unusually serious. “I’m sorry we were only able to recover a body.”

  “A body is better than never knowing,” Andrei said. “It will give her mother closure.”

  After he left, Katelina asked what was in the tiny box.

  “Her ashes,” Jorick said. “He didn’t want Annabelle to see her like that.”

  Torina’s words came back to her. “We send men to do the things we’d rather not do ourselves, and expect them to hold up under strain we refuse to carry.”

  It was three in the morning. There wasn’t enough time to drive to the airport and get to Ohio before the sun was up.

  Jorick nodded. “If we had a private airstrip like Andrei, we could land and sleep in the plane, but with the terrorism scare in Ohio, I don’t think we’d better risk it.”

  Micah dropped into a chair and lit a cigarette. “Good. Slave can go fold my laundry.”

  Jorick growled but, before he could defend her, Katelina snapped, “I told you, do it yourself. And no smoking inside.”

  He blew a puff of smoke at her. “This ain’t your den, princess. I can smoke wherever the hell I want.”

  Oren made an aggravated noise. He snatched the cigarette from Micah’s mouth, tossed it to the floor and ground it out with his heel. “Debate ended.”

  He stalked from the room, leaving Micah and Katelina gaping after him.

  The bald vampire rubbed his head. “Damn. He didn’t need to waste it.”

  “Or ruin the carpet.” Katelina rooted at the scorched spot with her toe.

  Jorick cleared his throat. “Oren’s…”

  “Not in a good place,” Verchiel finished.

  “Join the club.” Katelina held her hand out. “Give me a cigarette.”

  Micah snorted. “Get your own.”

  “Don’t make me kick your ass.” She ignored Jorick’s continued unhappiness.

  Micah laughed, and tossed her one with a lighter. “You get that coz you made me laugh. Next time you gotta fold laundry.”

  She waved his comment away and headed outside. After the first puff, she leaned back against the building, eyes on the stars. She heard the soft, slow sound of footsteps. Zander. Or Brandle. Either way, she wasn’t in the mood, so she slipped away.

  She passed several out buildings, including one labeled “well house”. Curiosity got the better of her. She rounded it, hoping to peer inside, but stopped when she heard Oren’s voice.

  “—things are going?”

  Katelina waited to see who he was talking to. When a second voice didn’t come, she edged closer.

  Oren spoke again, “Zander is…he’s fine, I suppose. I haven’t spent much time with him. He seems to have taken a liking to Bramble, or Brendle, or whatever his name is.”

  Katelina realized he must be on the phone. Given the conversation, it was probably with Baltheir. Who else would want news of Zander except his own coven?

  Oren went on, “Andrei arrived today…Yes, he’s the child’s father. There was only one course of action. It was a pity, but what could he do? No father could leave their child to live like that. Had it been Alexander or Tristan…” He broke off. Katelina’s mind conjured images of Oren’s dead children. Alexander had been about five, with his mother’s dark hair and eyes too old for his chubby cheeked face. The baby had been a nonentity, silent and still like a doll.

  Oren replied to a comment she couldn’t hear. “Of course the incident brought certain things to mind…” He gave a heavy sigh. Katelina imagined him sort of folding up in surrender. “I should never have allowed her to turn the children. I knew it at the time, and every day for the next two hundred years. Jorick warned me over and over that the outcome would be bad. I imagine Andrei knew the same. How can it be anything else? To try to stop a child’s development, to freeze them in crystal forever and expect them to stay the cherub they were, even as decades and centuries slip through their fingers.”

  That he was this open with Baltheir—or anyone—surprised Katelina, but why not? Baltheir was in his coven for who knew how many years before it broke up. No doubt they were friends.

  Oren paused, then, “Torina’s taking it badly. You know how that bothers her. I wish she’d find someone and settle down in her own den…If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears. I admit I haven’t met a man I’d trust her to, except Jorick. He’d know how to handle her moods.”

  Katelina stiffened at the suggestion, but Oren went on. “No, you’re right. It would never work. They had a…dalliance for lack of a better word, but it bore no fruit. He’s not passionate enough for her. She needs someone who will throw plates, as my father used to say. Besides, it seems Jorick has found his pet…Oh, I suppose you’re right. She isn’t his pet anymore. For better or worse she’s his mate.”

  For better or worse? What was that supposed to mean?

  Oren made another aggravated sound. “No, she’s not entirely bad for him. Though, now she’s immortal, I believe he’s bitten off more than he thought…No, no. When he first took her she was…Terrified would be a good word… No, she wasn’t raised with vampires. To my knowledge she didn’t know about us. She was at our den before she knew what he was… He should have been open with her from the first. If he planned to court her, he should have revealed what he was, and given her time. But he rushed it at the last minute because he’d planned to deny himself… Yes, I told him to let her go. I figured she was an infatuation he’d get tired of once he had her. She was forbidden fruit, the lover of another. That makes a woman more appealing to a certain kind of man. By the same token, I also told him that if he really wanted her, to take her and be done with it, not drag it out.”

  Katelina crossed her arms. Forbidden fruit? Like she was some kind of peach hanging in a neighbor’s garden? Hardly!

  “I look for him to make it official one of these days. He’s more sentimental than he likes to admit, and more old fashioned. Especially considering she’s not his fledgling. He’ll want some kind of mark on her. Not that I blame him with Verchiel skulking around. I was sure he’d turn her and start a claim war between them.”

  She covered her mouth. Verchiel turn her? Of all the crazy, ridiculous…

  “Yes, she drank from Verchiel in the past. I wasn’t there, but it was supposedly some trickery of Malick’s.”

  Not supposedly, it was. Malick had put Verchiel in a cell and starved him, then threw her inside. As expected, Verchiel bit her. Instinctively, she’d bitten him back, but it hadn’t meant anything, and there was no damn connection.

  As if he’d read her mind, Oren chuckled. “The connection is precisely why Jorick was worried, but he admitted to me not long ago that he’d given her his own blood, before he ever courted her…Exactly. It means she was linked to him before she was ever linked to Verchiel…I only thought Verchiel would do it to cause trouble. I don’t believe he’s in love with her…Because Verchiel is Kateesha’s fledgling.

  “I realize you didn’t meet her, but Kateesha’s one love in life was always Jorick. He was the one man she couldn’t conquer… No! She never tried to conquer me. Had she, there’d have been two men she failed with. As I was saying, from what I understand, she turned Verchiel, but was only with him for a few years before she left to join Jorick and their master. You understand the master/fledgling connection, not to mention, I believe they were lovers…Yes. You can see how Verchiel would hold a grudge. Jorick took his lover. I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t make a move to get retribution…”

  Katelina was ready to burst. Retribution? The redhead was suspicious, sure, but that he’d…what? Try to have an affair to
get even with Jorick for something that happened in the 1700s? Not only was that crazy, but it took two to have an affair. She wasn’t planning to participate.

  “Yes…I’m glad I don’t need to worry about such things. It’s getting late. I should let you go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow one way or another …Good night, Etsuko.”

  He said something in Japanese. Though Katelina didn’t know the words, she felt the meaning in them.

  I love you, too.

  The clamshell phone clicked closed. Without distraction, she worried he might smell her but, with the wind blowing the other way, maybe she’d be okay.

  Luck was with her. He heaved a sigh, then his footsteps moved away. When the sound faded, she sagged and pressed her hand to her mouth, as if holding in an exclamation. He’d been talking to Etsuko the whole time, as if she was his equal, his friend—his girlfriend.

  I love you, too.

  She felt the sudden warmth on her fingers and looked down to see her cigarette filter burning. With a string of curse words, she dropped it to the ground and stomped it out. She’d missed smoking the whole thing.

  I guess that’s what I get for eavesdropping.

  As she headed back, she ran into Brandle. Crap. I forgot he was out here.

  “Hello.” He waved as she drew close. “It’s been quite a day. Or should I say, quite a week.”

  “The last eight months have been something.” She stopped when he offered her a cigarette. She’d wasted the other, after all.

  He stared into space. She wondered that Estrilda had affected him so deeply. He didn’t know her, did he?

  “No,” Brandle said to her unspoken thought. “I didn’t know she existed. Andrei and Annabelle guarded their secret well. I’m afraid my thoughts are on William and Angelica.” He took a puff and blew a cloud of smoke. “I’ve known them a long time. They were members of Henry’s coven. Poor Henry. That was the first time I had the chance to meet your lover.”

  Her lover? Did he mean… “Jorick?”

  Brandle nodded. “A new coven came into the area. McKenzie was their leader, I believe. He wanted our land and tried to run us off. Finally, he took Angelica and her sisters hostage. We reclaimed them with violence. McKenzie complained to the Sodalitas, who sent the Destroyer and his servants, the Tormenter and The Hand of Death. They were true to their reputations.”