Journey’s End

by A. E. Radley

  “Is Tiny home alone?” Henry asked her with a puzzled frown.

  “He’s in the car,” Olivia advised him.

  Tiny wasn’t allowed in school, much to Henry’s disappointment. It had been a shock to suddenly spend large portions of time away from Tiny, but Henry seemed to console himself in the knowledge that Olivia would look after him.

  “Henry, would you like to go outside and play on the playground while your mother and I speak?” Natalie said.

  Henry quickly packed up his bag and threw it over his shoulder before rushing past Olivia and disappearing into the corridor.

  Natalie gestured to the window where the playground apparatus could be seen.

  “We can keep an eye on him while we speak,” she suggested as she pulled out a chair in front of her desk. She walked around the desk and sat down.

  Olivia waited until she could see Henry arrive in the playground. A moment later he came into view. He ran towards the play area, dropping his bag and launching himself up the slide. It was a long way from the Henry she remembered in his hospital bed. She swallowed hard at the memory.

  She turned to face Natalie and slowly lowered herself into the chair that had been pulled out for her. A familiar sense of dread crept up her neck. She wondered how it was that the memory of being disciplined in school could be so strong when everything else from childhood faded into nothing.

  “Henry is wonderful,” Natalie started. “He’s making friends, engaging well with students and teachers.”

  Olivia nodded.

  Of course he is, she thought. He’s Henry.

  Natalie seemed to pause for a moment. “He mentioned that his other mother had gone away?”

  Olivia nodded again. “That’s right. Yes.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. You must both miss her terribly?”

  “Yes,” Olivia agreed, “but we’re managing.”

  Natalie offered her a tight smile. “That’s good, I’m glad. I know it must be very difficult for you.”

  “We have each other,” Olivia explained. She drifted her gaze to look at Henry playing outside.

  “Of course, and, as I say, Henry really is wonderful. But we have noticed that sometimes we struggle to get his attention. And when he is excited, he can forget what he was doing and start on another task.”

  Olivia turned to look back at Natalie. The conversation seemed to be veering away from how well Henry was doing.

  “At first, we thought it was because he misses his mother, but there are educational markers that indicate it might be something else,” Natalie continued.

  Olivia swallowed again. She realised that Natalie had just been praising Henry’s social skills to soften the blow that something was wrong.

  “We’d like your permission to set up a meeting with Henry and our school counsellor.”

  “For what purpose?” Olivia quickly found her voice again.

  “Just to ascertain if there is any particular reason why Henry struggles to focus.”

  “ADHD?” Olivia guessed.

  Natalie looked uncomfortable. “Well, yes, that is one possibility.”

  “Autism?” Olivia continued.

  “It would be difficult to say until we investigate further, but, yes, that is another possibility.”

  Natalie sat forward a little. “Mrs Lewis, Olivia, we just want to provide Henry with the very best level of education that we can. If there is a diagnosis to be had, it’s good that we get it as early as possible so that we can adapt his learning needs, if necessary.”

  “But… he’s so young… how can you…” Olivia turned to look out of the window. Henry was happily playing, oblivious to what was being said a few meters away.

  “It’s nothing to be worried about, we just want to make sure that Henry has all the support that he needs.”

  Olivia snapped her head back towards Natalie. She opened her mouth but struggled for any words to come out. She picked up her bag and shot up to her feet.

  “I’ll think this over,” she said.

  “Of course.” Natalie stood up as well. She reached for an envelope on her desk and handed it to Olivia. “This contains all of the information you need. There’s no hurry. We’re bringing it to attention now so we can work together for what’s best for Henry.”

  “Yes. Is there anything else?” Olivia needed to get out of there. Taking in sufficient oxygen was starting to be a struggle, and she had no desire to look weak in front of Henry’s teacher.

  Natalie shook her head.

  “Thank you for your time,” Olivia said formally. “I will… I will contact you shortly.”

  “Thank you for coming in,” Natalie said. “Would you like me to show you out?”

  Olivia shook her head. She turned on her heel and walked briskly out of the classroom.

  Her eyes started to fill with tears. She blinked to clear her vision, aware that her heels clacked loudly in the school corridor, wanting to make sure that nothing sounded out of the ordinary. The last thing she needed now was to draw more attention to herself.

  At breakneck speed, she went from feeling that the whole thing was a miscalculation and that Henry was fine, to firmly planting the blame upon herself. Henry had been a normal child when she met him, now he was tumbling towards a behavioural diagnosis.

  How would she explain this to Emily? She hadn’t spoken to Emily about the meeting at the school, and now she had to tell her that she’d broken her son.

  She exited the corridor and stood in the playground, sucking up large gulps of air.

  Henry happily ran from apparatus to apparatus. She’d only been looking after him for less than a week and already she felt like a complete failure.

  She took a deep breath and blinked away the moisture in her eyes.

  “Henry,” she called out softly.

  He turned and looked over at her. His red cheeks and wide grin made her smile despite her heartbreak.

  He picked up his bag and ran over to her. “Are we going home?”

  “Yes, we are.” Olivia held out her hand, and Henry grabbed onto it.

  “Are you in trouble?” he asked as they started to walk across the playground. “Miss Costa puts Kevin in timeout when he’s in trouble.”

  “Have you been in timeout?”

  “No.”

  “Good.”

  They walked in silence. Olivia could practically feel Henry’s eyes as he stared up at her.

  “Have you been crying?” he finally asked as they approached the car.

  “No, just… I’ve… been cutting onions.” She opened the car door for him.

  He rolled his eyes. “Wow, Mommy’s right. You are really bad at lying.”

  12

  The noise of the Hogshead Pub was overwhelming. Glasses chinked and a loud, constant rumble of conversations filled the large bar area. Hannah linked arms with Emily and guided her towards the back of the room where a group of people drank, chatted, and laughed.

  “Hey everyone,” Hannah shouted over the din. “This is Emily, our fantastic new writer!”

  Emily was taken aback by the spontaneous cheers and sounds of congratulations and welcome. Half-full glasses were raised in the air in greeting. She turned to Hannah and smiled.

  “One big, happy family,” Hannah told her. She leaned in close to Emily’s ear so she could hear her. “Let me introduce you to the people worth knowing.”

  Emily nodded. “Let’s do it.”

  Hannah grinned as she navigated the crowd. Emily followed her closely, not wanting to lose her newly acquired guide.

  She looked up to notice Carl perched at the end of the bar, nursing a pint of beer and looking straight at her. She offered him a warm smile, and he smiled back, his face lighting up upon seeing her.

  After nearly a week of working with him, she hadn’t changed her mind on him in the slightest. In fact, she was starting to enjoy her time in the theatre as it meant she was away from the small office she shared with him. At the start of the week, she tho
ught she would just enjoy getting out of the cold, cramped space, but now she was more relieved to be away from Carl.

  There was nothing wrong with him, nothing she could easily put into words. He just seemed to always be there, always looking at her, always following her. But it was impossible to have a conversation with him. As soon as she tried, he clammed up.

  “Emily, this is John,” Hannah said, pulling her from her thoughts.

  Emily shook the cobwebs from her head and turned to face John. She smiled and held out her hand. “Hi!”

  She tried to focus on what John was saying about his role in lighting, but she struggled as she felt Carl appear behind her. Hannah had headed to the bar to get them both drinks. Emily was stuck between giving her undivided attention to John and wanting to turn around to see why Carl was standing right behind her.

  In the end, she managed to step to the side enough to force Carl to be included in the conversation. John regarded Carl warily and continued talking to Emily about the intricacies of lighting the stage. Usually she would have been fascinated, but the way Carl stood and stared at her was most off-putting.

  Hannah rejoined the group and looked at Carl.

  “Can we help you?” she asked.

  “I… was just leaving,” he said. He looked at Emily. “See you tomorrow.”

  He quickly turned and ducked through the crowd to leave the bar.

  “Odd lad,” John commented.

  “Yeah,” Hannah agreed.

  Emily watched Carl go. She almost felt sorry for him, but she had to admit that there was an underlying creepiness to his actions.

  “Anyway, what was I saying about multiple spots?” John said. “Oh yes…”

  Emily leaned heavily against the wall of the elevator and let out a long sigh. She had no idea how five hours had passed so quickly. And she couldn’t understand how the theatre production team was still alive after all the alcohol consumed within those five hours.

  Everyone wanted to welcome her to the team by buying her a beverage. She’d never been offered so many drinks in her life. In fact, she’d switched to non-alcoholic drinks when she started to feel lightheaded after only half an hour in the pub. Nicole had turned up for a brief while and informed her that the team drinks at the Hogshead were a regular thing. Emily had no idea how anyone managed to function after spending so many hours propping up the bar.

  Despite the flow of booze, the evening had been hugely successful. She’d met and spoken with almost every department of the company, from the unpaid technical interns learning the ropes to the office staff. Names and positions swam around her head despite her best efforts to keep them all in order, knowing they would be of use later.

  The elevator came to a stop, letting her out onto the carpeted hallway heading towards her hotel room. She felt exhausted and wondered if she’d manage to get herself up in the morning after such a full evening of socialising.

  “Mrs White?”

  Emily looked up with a frown. A member of the staff stood in front of her hotel room with an enormous bunch of flowers in his hands.

  Emily slowly nodded. “Yes, that’s me.”

  “I was going to leave these outside, due to the late hour.” He nodded at the bouquet. “They just arrived by courier.”

  Emily was stunned. “Oh, they’re beautiful.” She swiped the electronic lock with her room key and pushed open the door.

  “Can you put them on the table?” Emily asked as she kicked off her heels.

  He stepped into the room and placed the flowers on the side table. The bouquet was presented in a large see-through bag of water with colourful ribbons tying it all together.

  “Good night,” the porter said as he let himself out of the room, closing the door behind him.

  Emily bent down to sniff the bouquet. Floral scents filled her senses, luxurious and not too strong. Some bouquets were like an explosion of fragrance, but this was artistic and measured.

  She smiled as she reached into her bag and picked up her phone. She flopped onto the bed as she dialled Olivia.

  As always, the call took a little while to connect, and even though she was certain it was now done by satellite, Emily mentally pictured wires connecting across the UK and then the ocean before reaching New York.

  When the call did connect, it only rang one and a half times before Olivia answered.

  “Hello, darling,” she greeted.

  “Thank you,” Emily replied sleepily. The bed was so soft that she could already feel herself starting to drift off. She’d known that laying down before washing her makeup off would be fatal, but her aching feet and swimming head had urged her.

  “What for?” Olivia asked.

  “You know what for.” Emily chuckled.

  “Do I?” Olivia questioned.

  “The flowers,” Emily replied. She pulled herself into a sitting position, knowing that she was seriously about to drift off if she didn’t take drastic action. She wondered when Olivia had ordered the flowers, if she’d forgotten all about them.

  “I… I haven’t sent any. Should I? I can speak with the florist who I used to use for—”

  “You haven’t sent any?” Emily interrupted.

  “No,” Olivia confirmed.

  Emily slid off the bed and walked over to the bouquet, wondering if the hotel had made a mistake and the blooms weren’t for her after all.

  “Would you like me to send you flowers?” Olivia asked, a hesitation in her tone.

  “No, no,” Emily soothed. “There’s just some flowers here, I assumed they were from you.”

  She saw a small envelope wedged between the stems and shouldered the phone as she plucked it out.

  “Who’s sending you flowers?” Olivia asked, her tone becoming a little frosty.

  “I don’t know, I’m looking at the card now,” Emily replied.

  She opened the envelope, pulled out the thick card, and frowned.

  “Well?” Olivia asked impatiently.

  Emily chuckled. “It says it’s from my secret admirer. I think this is meant for someone else.”

  “Secret admirer?” Olivia demanded. “Who?”

  “Secret admirers don’t sign their names, that’s what makes them secret,” Emily pointed out. She dropped the card and the envelope to the table. “It must be for someone else, I don’t have a secret admirer and there is no name or room number on the note. Maybe the courier got the address wrong, maybe the hotel made a mistake.”

  “But—”

  “No one even knows I’m staying here,” Emily continued. “Only you and Nicole, and I think we can rule out Nicole.”

  Olivia remained quiet for a few moments. Emily understood all too well that the distance suddenly felt a whole lot more real.

  “I’ve missed you,” Emily whispered. “So, so much.”

  “I’ve missed you, too,” Olivia replied.

  “But I get to see you tomorrow,” Emily pointed out. She wouldn’t admit it to Olivia, as she was trying to appear strong, but she had been counting down the hours to her flight home.

  “I suppose I’ll clear out a drawer for you, maybe a bit of the wardrobe,” Olivia joked.

  “How generous.” Emily chuckled and walked into the bathroom. She turned on the light and picked up a makeup removal pad.

  “Henry saw your Crown uniform,” Olivia said.

  Emily smiled at the memory of her last morning in New York.

  “Oh yes?” she asked.

  “Yes, it was terribly embarrassing,” Olivia added.

  “You’re the one who tore it off me and threw it on the floor,” Emily replied.

  “I picked it up,” Olivia explained. “But I left it on the chair. In case there was a repeat performance.”

  “Oh, I see. Is that a request?”

  “This has been a very long week,” Olivia confessed.

  “I know.” Emily started to feel guilty. She knew Olivia didn’t want that, but it was impossible not to feel guilty. They were apart because of her. B
ecause of her dream. “It will get better,” she promised.

  “It will,” Olivia agreed. She cleared her throat. “Henry is here and would like to speak with you.”

  “Can you put me on speaker? I’m not ready to let you go just yet…”

  13

  Emily dropped her suitcase and fell to her knees in the arrivals terminal as Henry rushed into her arms. It had been just under a week since she’d seen her son, but it had felt like a lifetime. She’d had to be apart from him before, but this time she was choosing to. It broke her heart.

  “Mommy, school is amazing!” Henry cried. He pulled back. “I got a badge for my alphabet.”

  “Wow, that’s great!”

  Henry pulled a badge out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Miss Costa says I’m very good.”

  She examined the badge. “That’s wonderful, Henry.”

  Olivia approached, wringing her hands nervously.

  Emily stood and pulled her into a hug. “I missed you. So much,” she whispered into Olivia’s ear.

  Olivia returned the hug. “I missed you, too.”

  “Mommy, do good boys get presents?” Henry asked, tugging on her jacket.

  Emily leaned back a little and smiled at Olivia before turning to look down at Henry.

  “What kind of present?”

  “I want a cat.”

  “He wants a cat,” Olivia repeated. “Instead of a kitten.”

  Emily frowned. She hated that she was missing out on things. When she left, Henry was adamant about getting a kitten, but somehow that had changed. And that left Emily unsettled. She didn’t want to miss out on anything, no matter how small.

  “Why do you want a cat, Henry?”

  Olivia disengaged herself from the hug and pulled up the handle of Emily’s suitcase. They started to walk towards the airport’s car park.

  “Because cats are like bigger kittens,” Henry explained. “And cats have no family, and we could be a family for a cat.”