There had to be something like that on the market, that’s the first thing I’ll do after I take care of something for dinner.
I was suddenly ravenous when I hadn’t given food a second thought myself since this morning’s breakfast.
I found it amazing that a life could be so vastly changed in the space of just one day. That a man could go through so many different emotions in the space of just a few short hours.
I led my unwanted guest to the room that was just a few doors down from mine. That was another thing there were only two bedrooms in my condo. We needed another for Mia because I didn’t want her sharing with her mother and the bitch wasn’t bunking with me.
The quicker I can cut her out of my daughter’s life, the better. So starting now I was going to put as much space between them as possible, while making myself indispensable to my kid.
“There should be fresh towels in the bathroom closet and a new toothbrush in the cabinet. I’ll make dinner tonight but starting tomorrow you’re on your own.”
“I’m not hungry, I think I’ll just have a shower and go to bed.” She turned to go into the room like a little whipped puppy. Yeah whatever.
“No, I don’t want you getting sick, she needs you right now, so you’re going to do whatever it takes.
Which means that in about an hour your ass is going to be at that table eating whatever the fuck I put in front of you. And Zania, don’t make me have to come find you.
I’m looking for any excuse to wring your fucking neck, piss me off and you just might give it to me.”
She walked into the room and closed the door while I went to my room to get undressed.
I hated like fuck that she was once again in my space, that I had to let her get this close to me again, like living with a fucking coiled snake.
Only this time I had my eyes wide open and wasn’t about to let her pull her shit on me this time around, lying bitch.
Damn, so much for being over her and moving on Cord. It fucked with my head that she still got this reaction out of me, that she could still engage my passions like this.
My dick was a disgrace, he’s been semi-hard all fucking day and for what? That lying, two faced bitch that had all but castrated me in the past?
Better not think about that shit and just concentrate on my daughter, before I really do something stupid.
I knocked around the kitchen putting together a light meal of pasta with chicken and a salad. It was more than I’d been planning to have, but she looked like she hadn’t had a decent meal in forever.
I hated that I gave a fuck about that too, and was not in the best of moods when she finally made her way to the kitchen ten minutes before her hour was up.
I’d been looking forward to dragging her ass to the table, preferably by her hair.
She picked at her food while I brooded. I had a million questions to ask, but found I didn’t know where to start. The truth is, it was taking all my restraint not to knock the shit out of her now that the dust had settled and we were alone here.
For a man who’d never laid hands on a woman and had never contemplated such a thing, it was a bit disconcerting to realize that she could bring me to that.
I know some people would say it was because of the depth of feeling I once bore her, a love that she had cast aside like it meant nothing, after making promises to me. After everything that we had shared...
I pushed those thoughts aside since they were only making me angrier, and tried to concentrate on what was most important right now.
“Tomorrow we need to go shopping for Mia, she needs something more than the rags you brought along for her to wear.
I also need to see about a place to live because there isn’t much room here when she gets home.”
“She can share with me until we go back home once everything’s been taken care of.”
“You’re out of your fucking mind. Do you really think you are going to take my daughter anywhere? Speaking of which, where’s her birth certificate?”
“What do you mean...” She was halfway out of her seat before I pulled her back down on the chair.
“Sit your ass down, now to answer your question, I mean just what I said. If I were you I wouldn’t make too big of a deal out of it. I haven’t threatened you with anything more than custody, yet. I’d say you were getting off easy.
The fear in her eyes didn’t move me one bit. Since I couldn’t take my fucking fist to her, I could do the next best thing.
By the time I was through with her deceitful ass, she was going to rue the day she was born, or the day she ever met the likes of me.
“You can’t...”
“Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do, as her father I have just as much rights to her as you do, and since you’ve done such a piss poor job so far, guess who’s in better standing at this point in time.
You’d better understand one thing here and now, the only reason you’re still here and I haven’t sent your ass packing back to that hovel you seem to love so much, that you left me to return to it, is because of Mia.
Like I told you before, if there’s any chance in hell that they can use a part of you to save her, I want you here. But trust me, as soon as she’s out of the woods, I won’t wait to see the back of you.”
I got up from the table and left her there too fucking pissed to stand one more second of her.
Alone in my room, I battled back the memories. I didn’t ever want to go back there. It was all a lie, every fucking minute of it.
As hard as I tried though, I couldn’t stop myself from seeing it all played out again, my own fucking American horror story.
The first time I ever laid eyes on her, my heart literally stopped. It was one of those moments you see in the movies but never believed could be possible in real life.
It had been at one of my mother’s many parties, something I had tried my best to get out of, but in the end she’d nagged until I gave in.
I walked in, said a few hellos and there she was. She was one of the servers, hired by the catering company.
I remember looking around to see who else was looking at her, who else was seeing what I was. There were more than a few eyes on her as I recall, and why not.
She was a hot little number even in the aesthetic uniform of black and white. Unlike some of the others, her skirt wasn’t too short and the buttons on her shirt didn’t pull across her breasts or show any cleavage.
It was her face that caught me first though, as I’m sure it did the others who had noticed her.
She had a wild mass of red curls that caught the light as she moved, and when she got close enough the sea foam green of her eyes just sucked me in.
It was like being gut punched when you least expected it. I had nowhere to go to escape the feeling in the room full of people.
“Good evening sir, would you like some champagne?” She held up the silver tray she carried and I reached out to take a glass, my eyes never leaving hers.
“Don’t move.” She was about to turn away but I found I couldn’t just let her walk away. Something told me then that she was going to mean something to me.
“Was there something else you needed sir?” There was no artifice in her voice, she wasn’t offering anything more than maybe some canapés or deviled eggs. I found it strangely enticing.
As accustomed as I had become over the years since puberty to women fawning all over me, it was a nice little surprise to meet one who didn’t just lay herself at my feet for the taking. Then again she didn’t know who I was.
“No, I just like looking at you.” Her face pinked up and she ducked her head before looking back at me.
“Thanks for the compliment but I have to get to work, the boss doesn’t like us fraternizing with the guests.”
“I’ll let you go on one condition, you promise to see me later.”
“I don’t know I...” she looked around the room before looking back at me with those amazing eyes.
“I’m Cord Helm
sworth and you are?”
“Zania, Zania Petrou. Helmsworth are you...?”
“Yes it’s my mother’s party. Zania, very pretty name, it suits the bearer. Tell me, is that Greek?”
“Good guess, yes it is.”
“I didn’t know Greece produced such stunning red heads.”
“It’s from my Irish mother.” I could see she was getting nervous because some of her coworkers were starting to send looks our way.
“I really should get back to work now.” I reached out and took her elbow as she started to move away.
“Promise and I’ll let you go.” She looked from my arm back to my eyes. So fucking beautiful. That was the only thought in my head. That and if I didn’t snatch her up here and now, someone else most definitely would.
“What if I already have someone waiting for me?” The question threw me as I realized it had never crossed my mind, and why.
Never being one for poaching on another man’s territory, I found myself in the precarious position of not giving a good damn.
“Are you married?”
“No.”
“Then I don’t care, only that if there is someone you end it.”
“Excuse me?” She took a step back and I saw some of that famous Irish temper reflected in her eyes.
“Which would you prefer, that I be straight with you, or beat around the bush? I should warn you, I don’t have time for games. I like what I see when I look at you. For me that means one thing, I have to have you.”
“And then what? What happens when you’re through playing with your new toy?”
“First of all, I don’t see you in that way, and secondly, if you weren’t interested you would’ve been long gone. Instead you’re standing here risking your job. On top of that, the pulse in your throat gave you away.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pen to write my number in her palm.
“I don’t know how long I’ll stay around here I hate these things, but call me when you’re through and I’ll come and get you. And Zania, don’t make me have to hunt you down. I’m sure it won’t be too hard with your unusual name and the company you work for.”
She studied her palm before turning and walking away without another word.
I had hung around much longer than I’d intended to that night, just for a few more glimpses of her. She had ignored me the rest of the evening but somehow I knew she was very aware of me.
I left a little before the party came to an end, deciding to let her make the next move. I wasn’t in the habit of pursuing women I’d only just met, but I was sure I would make an exception for her, even if I had to hunt her down later.
Chapter 6
In the end, I didn’t need to, since she called forty-five minutes after I reached my place.
There were no preliminaries on either part. I simply told her to wait for me and went back out to get her.
I’ll never forget the first words she said to me as I held the car door open for her. ‘I’m not sleeping with you on a first whatever this is, no matter what your name is.’
‘I don’t recall asking you to.’ Her face had lit up with the red flush of embarrassment as I seated her and closed the door.
That night I’d taken her for a drive so we could talk and get to know each other. She was right in denying me on our first outing; it made things more interesting.
Not that I would’ve thought any less of her if she had, chemistry is chemistry after all; but it made me want her all the more, and that wasn’t so easy to do.
I learned all that there was to know that night, all the pertinent facts anyway. I believed her, she was so relaxed as she spoke, so why wouldn’t I?
She was in my city attending the nearby University, and her family was from out West somewhere, what there was of it.
She hadn’t said too much about her background and I hadn’t cared. I just loved being with her, listening to her sweet sultry voice.
It was what people might call a whirlwind affair, one that I kept hidden from prying eyes. Not because of any shame, but because with her I found that I didn’t want to share.
I spent every waking hour after that night thinking about her in some way. She wormed her way into my heart almost from the first and refused to budge.
She became the most important thing in my life, something I never hid from her. Where before I never had much to say to the other person I was involved with, I found I wanted to share everything with her.
My ups and downs, highs and lows! I couldn’t wait to get home to her in our little hideaway where we’d burrow down every night, wrapped around each other with some part of me buried inside her.
Then mom had found her in my bed one day, when she’d stayed over, and I’d run out to get her some cough medicine because she was getting sick.
After that day I noticed a slight change in her, like something was bothering her, but it couldn’t have been anything too major, because she never said a word.
Then one day she was just gone. It took me days to accept that she wasn’t there where she’d been for the last four months. We’d spent everyday together since the night we met.
I’d taken her virginity two weeks to the day and had spent every free moment buried inside her since then. We were like animals the way we went after each other in those days, she was the oil and I was the match.
It was almost impossible for us to be in the same room without one of us igniting.
I’d never been so happy in my life; this was it. I bought a ring, had ‘the talk’ with my mom and dad and was waiting for the right moment. A few days later she was gone.
I shook my head to clear it of the memories and told myself there will be no more trips down memory lane. The past is just that, and she had proven to be a liar and now a thief. She’d stolen my seed.
I jumped off the bed when my own thoughts threatened to choke me. I picked up the phone and called the hospital to check on my daughter and was told that my wife had just called as well.
I didn’t bother to correct the nurse on the other end, though her words burned a hole in my gut like acid.
My child I was told, was still asleep, tired from her trip but otherwise doing okay. The fever had gone down and there was nothing else to be done.
If all stayed well she could come home tomorrow or the next day. My results were being rushed since time was of the essence, but even with the rush it was still going to take time.
I was deep in thought when my phone rang a little while later and I saw it was Camille. I’d forgotten all about her, which just goes to show how interested I really was in her and our so-called relationship.
Now wasn’t the time to be dealing with that though, and I didn’t think discussing my new family over the phone was in good taste. I answered the call suddenly tired to my very soul.
“So, am I seeing you tonight or no?” Those were her first words to me.
“No, something’s come up and it might be a few days before that can happen. We need to talk at any rate, but it will have to wait. You should go on to that dinner without me tomorrow night as well.”
“What’s going on Cord, I can’t help but feel like I’m getting the brush off here.”
“Nothing that I choose to discuss over the telephone. Like I said, when the time is more convenient I will come to you.”
“Is this your way of calling things off?”
“What things?” I sighed into the phone because I really wasn’t in the mood for any of this.
There was a little girl with my blood running through her veins, who was almost at death’s door. Everyone and everything else could get fucked as far as I was concerned.
“You know what things, the relationship, the wedding...” I sat up straight and rubbed the bridge of my nose.
“Back up, I never asked you to marry me, so that’s not on the table. As to the relationship, do you really want to discuss this on the phone?”
“I see, well Cord, when would you like to discuss
it?” The tone of her voice was a mixture of hurt and anger and I felt like a dog for the whole mess.
I’d used her plain and simple. She’d been there at a time when I didn’t care, when all I wanted was to get that bitch out of my head and my heart.
I was mad enough to blame Zania for this as well, but that wasn’t fair. Not that I cared about being fair to that conniving bitch, but me falling into bed with Camille was nobody’s fault but my own.
“There’s a lot going on right now, I know we need to talk, just give me a few days and I’ll come over to your place and we can deal with everything then.”
“Why don’t I come over and cook for you since you’re so busy, I can scratch the dinner plans...”
“That’s not such a good idea either.”
“Why not?” Okay now she was starting to piss me off. In all fairness to myself, I have never once given her any indication that our relationship was anything more than one of physical necessity.
We’d never exchanged words of love, well she might’ve said it a few times in the beginning, but since I no longer had any use for that fickle emotion, I’d never repeated the words, not to mention the fact that it would’ve been a lie.
“Like I said we’ll talk later, right now I’m going to bed, I have a lot to take care of tomorrow. I’ll see you in a day or so.”
I hung up the phone feeling torn. No matter what, I’ve always treated her fairly. I never led her on to believe that there was anything more on offer, but maybe five years of sleeping with someone gave them ideas.
How the fuck did I get myself in this shit? I moved around my room trying to organize things in my head.
None of this was my fault, other than the fact that I was the one who’d approached that fucking barracuda six years ago.
Everything else she did, including turning me into a woman-hating bastard who had strung an innocent woman along.
It wasn’t Camille’s fault that she had fallen in love with the wrong man, but as bad as I felt about that, marrying her wasn’t going to make things better, she’d be better off marrying someone who loved her.
His Secret Child Page 5