The Road to Hope

by Rachael Johns

  He and Ellie grinned for a few shots and then Ellie and Flynn made their excuses—Ellie to mingle and Flynn to make sure everyone had enough to eat and drink.

  ‘Enjoying the party?’ he asked Lauren.

  ‘Surprisingly I am.’ She took a sip of her drink. It was almost empty.

  ‘Would you like me to get you another one of those?’

  She shook her head. ‘No, thanks. I’m pacing myself. So, your mum’s a fan of Ellie too, then?’

  ‘More the show I think. She’s been watching it for as long as I can remember. Didn’t your mum watch it? I thought everyone’s did.’

  Lauren frowned. ‘You know, I can’t remember, but probably not. She was more interested in travel shows like Getaway. That was her life plan—to get away from here.’

  ‘Frank told me about their travel business.’

  ‘Yep, it’s booming. Take the grey nomads out of Australia and show them the world. Mum loves running the tours.’

  ‘It’s a bit of a jump from farming,’ he mused, recalling Frank’s tales of growing up on a farm and how he’d rather have died than take over.

  She smiled sadly. ‘My dad was an only child and inherited the farm from his folks. Mum was a farmer’s daughter too but neither of them had the love of the land in them. They did what was expected for as long as they could, but when my grandparents died and Frank made it clear he wouldn’t be exchanging his stethoscope for an Akubra, they sold up at the first opportunity. The house in town was supposed to be a base but they’ve only been back once since they left.’

  Although she tried to sound nonchalant, he detected the sadness in her voice. ‘You must miss them.’

  ‘I do.’ A quick pause and then, ‘What about you? Do you miss your parents and sisters while you’re driving round Oz?’

  His stomach clenched and his grip tightened on his Coke, because the truth was that yes, he missed his family terribly. Each day away from them was like a knife to the heart—but so was the thought of going back. ‘I’m having too much fun to miss anyone,’ he said eventually. ‘Shall we go get some grub?’

  ‘That sounds like a plan.’

  Together they headed over to the trestle table set up on the verandah. Karina Quartermaine and her daughter Lucy were standing at either end making sure everyone helped themselves to potato salad and coleslaw. Lauren piled her plate up with salads and a bread roll, steering clear of the steak and sausages. At the sight of the barbecue, Tom realised he’d barely eaten meat since the bacon with pancakes the morning after he arrived in Hope Junction. Surprisingly, he didn’t miss it as much as he thought he would. In many ways, he was feeling a lot healthier.

  ‘Aren’t you going to have a steak?’ Lauren asked, pointing to his plate.

  ‘I don’t think I am.’ He smiled. ‘Your vegetarianism may be rubbing off on me.’

  ‘Really?’ She raised an eyebrow.

  He nodded, grabbing an extra bread roll and a couple of curried eggs before they headed over to find a spot to sit on the grass. Plastic chairs and tables were scattered along the verandah and throughout the garden, all mismatched as if they’d been borrowed for the occasion.

  When they found seats, Tom said, ‘You never did tell me why you’re vegetarian.’

  ‘Didn’t I?’ Lauren tore apart her bread roll and started spooning coleslaw onto it.

  ‘No.’

  ‘It sounds a bit silly living in a farming district. Most people think I’m crazy,’ she admitted, ‘but the truth is, I just don’t see the difference between the leg of a dog or cat and that of a sheep or cow. Years ago, when I was about ten, a farmer gave me an orphaned lamb to look after. I was like the girl in Charlotte’s Web with Wilbur the pig. I loved that lamb like it was a baby, getting up early in the morning to feed it and racing to it first thing when I came home from school.’

  He smiled, imagining Lauren as a little girl with blonde pigtails, sitting on the grass and rocking a baby lamb.

  ‘Her name was Cassie,’ she continued, ‘but she got big and didn’t need me anymore. The farmer came over, thanked me for raising her and then took her back. I was gutted enough as it was but then Frank told me that the farmer was going to eat her for Sunday lunch. Of course I knew that was true but I’d never really thought about it before. Cassie was my friend and someone was going to eat her.’

  Lauren screwed up her face, sadness in her eyes. ‘Much to mum’s chagrin, I refused to eat any meat after that.’

  ‘I’m sorry about your lamb.’ Tom reached out to place his hand on Lauren’s. A jolt of awareness shot through him at the touch, his heart stilling in his chest. He felt her pain even though it was decades ago, but more so he felt attracted to her like he’d never felt attraction to anyone else before. Even Lisa.

  As he withdrew his hand, his mobile started blaring in his pocket. Knowing it might be the hospital and also welcoming the excuse to break eye contact, Tom dug his phone out and glanced at the caller ID.

  Monica. Dammit. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin his night with a phone call from his sister, but if he didn’t answer now, she’d just keep calling until he did.

  ‘Sorry,’ he told Lauren. ‘It’s my sister. I’d better take it.’

  ‘Of course.’ She turned back to her plate and lifted the coleslaw roll as he pressed Accept.

  ‘Hi Monica.’

  ‘Tom. It’s Dad,’ she said in lieu of a greeting. ‘He’s gone missing.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  Cold flooded Tom’s body. He clutched the phone tightly and pressed it against his ear. Maybe the noise of the music and laughter around him had distorted her words. ‘I’m sorry. What did you say?’

  ‘Dad’s gone missing. We’ve been looking for a couple of hours.’

  His other hand flew to his chest, knocking over his empty Coke can in the process. It clattered against the plastic table and then rolled onto the grass but he didn’t even notice. All he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat thrashing in his ears.

  He felt a hand on his arm. ‘Are you okay?’

  He shook Lauren off and stood, striding to a deserted patch of garden to interrogate his sister. ‘What do you mean he’s gone missing? He’s a six foot three, well-built bloke. He can’t just vanish. Where was Mum?’

  ‘Don’t you get angry at Mum,’ Monica shouted down the line. ‘It’s not her fault. She’s doing her damn best, which is a lot more than anyone can say for you.’

  He felt her words like a sucker punch. ‘I’m sorry.’ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. ‘What exactly happened?’

  ‘Mum went out to hang the washing on the line but the front door mustn’t have been locked properly. When she came back in about five minutes later, he was gone.’ Monica sniffed. ‘She searched the house and then called Caroline, who called me and Louise on her way over. Lou and I ran round the block and Caroline drove a little further but none of us could see any sign of him.’

  ‘Have you called the police?’ He was shaking with frustration at not being there, and with terror at the whole damn situation.

  ‘Of course we have,’ she snapped. ‘What do you take us for? We alerted them within half an hour and they’ve had units out looking ever since.’

  ‘And you’re only calling me now?’

  ‘Tom, we didn’t want to worry you for nothing. You’re too far away to help and we knew how that would make you feel.’

  It made him feel like the dag on the bottom of a sheep, that’s what. Dirty, worthless, the lowest of the low. He wanted to yell and shout at Monica that she had no right to make that decision, but anger wouldn’t fix anything. ‘I understand,’ he said eventually. ‘But I’m on my way now.’

  ‘Can you just leave your job like that?’

  ‘Mon, Dad’s more important than any job. I can’t just sit it out in WA while he’s ambling the streets of Adelaide.’ Fuck, the thought of his father, his best mate, lost and confused, tore shreds in his heart. If anything happened to him… He swallowed. Emotion a
nd negative thoughts weren’t going to help the situation any. ‘I’ll pack my bags right away and call you when I have flight details.’

  ‘Thanks, Tom. I love you, big bro.’ He was only two minutes older than her but she’d always called him that.

  ‘You too, Mon. Call me the minute you have any news.’

  ‘I will.’

  Reluctantly he disconnected the call. It felt wrong to be severing the only connection he had with his family right now, but he needed to act. He looked across at the happy vista of partygoers eating, drinking and laughing together and locked eyes with Lauren who was staring at him, her lower lip caught between her teeth. She pushed back her chair and crossed the grass, closing the gap between them.

  ‘I’m guessing that wasn’t a call from the hospital?’

  ‘No. I’ve got to leave. Family crisis back in Adelaide. Can someone give you a lift home?’

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Her eyes filled with concern.

  ‘My dad’s gone missing,’ he said bluntly, ‘and I’ve got to get back to help look.’

  ‘Your hands are shaking,’ she said, reaching out to grab one. ‘I’m coming with you. Do you want me to drive?’

  He shook her off. ‘There’s no need for this to ruin your evening.’

  ‘I’m coming,’ she said forcefully. ‘Now, am I driving or are you?’

  He didn’t want to waste time arguing. Although she’d only had one glass of wine, he couldn’t hand his keys over to her. He already felt like he’d lost control of everything and he wanted to get home as fast as he could. ‘I’ll drive.’

  ‘I’ll call Whitney later and explain,’ she said as they ran towards his ute, not glancing back to see the eyes watching them go.

  Lauren didn’t try to talk as he careened around the gravel bends back towards town, and she didn’t mention that he was breaking the speed limit. He appreciated this—he was in no mood for conversation or reprimand—and having her beside him was strangely comforting. It also stopped him falling apart because he didn’t want her to bear witness to that.

  He skidded to a halt on her driveway and was out of the car and unlocking the front door almost before she’d undone her seatbelt. Leaving the door open behind him, he hurried to his room. Lauren appeared in the doorway just as his laptop was coming to life.

  ‘Can I do anything to help?’

  He glanced up at her. ‘I’m going to try to book a flight. Could you pack my bag?’

  ‘Sure.’ Without another word, she stepped into the room and headed over to the wardrobe where she retrieved the large travel backpack that had carried all his possessions round the country. He didn’t have or need much.

  While she gathered some clothes together, he brought up the airline number and pleaded with the girl on the other end of the line to get him on the next available flight. Due to Adelaide’s flight curfew there were no flights till first thing tomorrow morning. He booked a ticket but decided against a hotel room in Perth. There was no chance he’d get any sleep anyway.

  After handing over his credit card details and receiving a reference number, he thanked the customer service assistant and dialled Steve, the hospital manager. He was all ready for a fight but Steve understood, professing that family must always come first. If there were any true medical emergencies, patients could go to Albany or Katanning. The details fixed, Tom slammed his laptop shut and turned to see how Lauren was going.

  What the hell? She was still folding his clothes, his small wardrobe laid out on the bed in neat piles. His frontal lobe already throbbed but her lah-di-dah approach to packing intensified the pain. Shoving his laptop into its case, he stormed across the room and brushed her aside. He yanked open his backpack and started hurling everything in the top, not caring that Lauren’s folding efforts were derailed as he forced he forced his stuff inside.

  Lauren stumbled back as Tom started grabbing his clothes and shoving them into his backpack like a man possessed. She’d heard him schedule a flight for tomorrow morning, so it wasn’t as though there was huge urgency—she’d been doing him a favour packing his things properly so they wouldn’t require washing or ironing again at the other end.

  He cursed when the bag would no longer take anything because of his messy packing technique. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. Whatever she said right now, Tom would probably take it the wrong way. She understood his anxiety about his father but his frantic behaviour scared her because she’d never seen him like this before. Usually he was the epitome of cool and calm in the face of an emergency—she’d seen so in the few they’d dealt with together at the hospital—and although it was always different dealing with your own family, his behaviour still didn’t sit right. She wondered why his dad had gone astray, and if this was something that had happened before. Normal people didn’t just go missing.

  She felt useless standing back but didn’t dare say anything. Having decided to go put the kettle on to make him a thermos for the road, Lauren turned to leave just as his mobile started ringing again. She stilled, listening as he answered.

  ‘Monica? Any news?’ There was a pause and then she saw his chest heave as he let out a massive breath of relief. ‘Thank fuck. Where was he?’

  Tom slumped down onto the bed, not sparing a glance for her as he closed his eyes and listened to his sister. Lauren let out her own breath, happy for him that his father had been found. She left him alone to his conversation and went to make coffee.

  The coffee had percolated in his flash machine and started to go cold by the time he emerged. Lauren was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a mug and flicking through the logic puzzle book Tom had left on the table. She’d tried to do a few in her head but it was hard to keep track without writing stuff down and she didn’t want to overstep the mark and write in his book.

  ‘These are pretty tricky,’ she said, looking up as he entered. ‘But I can see the appeal.’

  He smiled. ‘Any coffee left?’

  She nodded. ‘Although I’m pretty sure it’s gone cold. I’ll make you some more.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He pulled out a chair and sat down at the table, while she got up to make a fresh batch. She hoped he’d talk to her about what had happened tonight but she didn’t want to drag it out of him.

  ‘I’m sorry you had to leave the party,’ he said.

  ‘That’s okay. You know I was dreading it anyway.’ She measured the coffee into the machine and switched it on.

  ‘But you were having fun when I dragged you off.’

  She turned and leaned back against the bench. ‘Only because you were there. I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself knowing that you were dealing with a family crisis. Besides, you didn’t drag me off. I forced myself on you.’

  He grinned a little at that.

  ‘I take it everything is okay now?’

  He nodded. ‘Yes, my dad was found at a train station a few blocks from home. He’d lost his shoes and his wallet but apart from that he’s okay.’

  ‘I’m glad.’ She squeezed her lips together, trying her hardest to keep from asking further questions. It didn’t work. ‘Has he gone missing before?’

  ‘No, this is a first, but I’m guessing it might not be the last.’ Tom sighed. ‘Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s not too long ago.’

  ‘Oh, geez Tom. I’m so sorry. That sucks.’

  ‘Yep. Totally sidelined us. He’d always been such a capable, strong, intelligent man. Almost every good memory I have is something we’ve done together. He was always so hands on with all of us. He worked hard—he’s…he was a heart surgeon—but he still made the time to come to our school concerts or sporting events. Honestly, there couldn’t be a better bloke. All my life I’ve looked up to him, wanted to be like him.’

  A lump formed at the back of Lauren’s throat as she set two fresh mugs down beside the machine, waiting for it to finish.

  ‘About six months ago, he started doing odd things. At first we all thought he was just tired from working too hard
, but then the assistant in his rooms noticed things too. Apparently he kept repeating questions when she’d already told him the answers a number of times. Eventually she confronted Mum, and then she admitted to us that she was getting worried too. Of course Dad brushed if off when she tried to talk to him, but then one day he didn’t turn up at work. We found him parked down the road. He’d had a mind blank and couldn’t remember where the hospital was.’

  The coffee brewed. Lauren filled the mugs and put one in front of him then sat down to join him. She struggled not to cry as Tom shared his story. He moved on from the diagnosis and she didn’t interrupt; just listened as he shared his memories of his father.

  ‘We used to go surfing together every Sunday.’ He smiled wistfully, cradling the mug in his large hands but not lifting it to drink. ‘Even if the surf was crap, we’d go out together and give it our best shot. He taught me everything I know—from swimming to playing chess. When I went to med school, he’d stay up with me late some nights testing me before big exams.’

  Tom continued like this as if he had enough memories to fill hours, but Lauren enjoyed listening. It was refreshing to hear about a family who played and worked together. She could probably tick off on one hand the number of times her dad had sat down to do anything with her or Frank.

  Yet the more Tom talked, the more she wondered why he’d up and left a stable job in the same city as his family at a time like this—a time when his dad needed him more than ever, and his mum probably even more so. It simply didn’t compute with everything else she’d come to know about him. She wanted to ask but didn’t want to sound accusatory after what had been a traumatic night.

  ‘You know,’ she said, when he took a pause between memories, ‘you could still use that ticket tomorrow morning and go home to spend the weekend with your family. I bet they’d love that, and you might feel better, seeing for yourself your dad is okay.’

  ‘He’s not okay, Lauren. He’ll never be okay again.’