Alice's Long Road Home

by Rosie James

  Much later, after the professor had gone to bed and David and John had taken their sisters out for a drink, Alice and Sam sat together on the sofa in the morning room. She had nestled into him, her head on his shoulder, and now she looked up and smiled dreamily.

  ‘D’you remember the last time – well I think it was the last time – that we sat here together like this?’ she said. ‘The day you proposed?’

  Sam turned to kiss the top of her head. ‘Of course I remember.’

  Alice stayed there looking up at him, admiring all over again the strong profile, the broad forehead, the thick, shining dark copper hair – somewhat tousled tonight, she observed, where he’d been running his hands through it.

  ‘It was naughty of you, teasing me like that,’ she said lightly. ‘Taking me so completely by surprise.’

  ‘I did explain at the time that I’d never asked a woman to marry me before,’ he murmured, ‘and I thought that by suggesting you came home to discuss a business matter with me was a sure-fire way of you agreeing to turn up.’ He closed his lips over hers before going on, then –

  ‘I still cannot believe that you thought I was talking about my cousin, about Millicent,’ he said. ‘When I asked if you thought it was right to ask a woman, any woman, to marry me, knowing the sort of work I was doing…the commitment…the demands of the job…I wanted to find out what you really thought about someone filling the post as my wife. And your answer in the positive gave me the courage to propose to you.’ He pulled her into him closer. ‘I can’t imagine how I would have felt if you’d turned me down,’ he added.

  Alice didn’t answer for a moment, enjoying these few minutes of cosy intimacy in the comfort of this familiar, luxurious room, glad that the cloud she’d sensed hanging over his head at the beginning of the day seemed to have lifted. Perhaps the jollity of the occasion had cheered him up, though he had seemed unusually pensive more than once during the meal. As if he was distracted. She sighed inwardly. It must be difficult – if not impossible – to shut yourself off from anything concerning life and death – especially in infants – and his variance of mood was something she was going to have to deal with in the future. To accept and understand. It was part of the promise she had made to him, after all, in this very room. There was no going back. She didn’t want to go back.

  Their glasses of wine, almost untouched, were there on the small table beside them, and Sam released her gently before passing Alice hers, and reaching for his own.

  ‘I know we’ve had one or two toasts already tonight,’ he said, ‘but this is another one, a private one.’ He clinked his glass against hers. ‘To you and me. Us two. And we’re going to make sure that we go on together – for ever.’ He paused. ‘Agreed?’

  ‘Agreed,’ Alice murmured, sipping.

  Then – as if prompted by something outside herself, Alice said –

  ‘Sam…there’s something we haven’t discussed, or even mentioned, yet,’ she began, and he cut in –

  ‘Fire away,’ he said easily. ‘Is this an ultimatum about how much housekeeping money – or dress allowance – you’re expecting to receive from me in the future?’ He winked at her. ‘Best to get these things cleared up straightaway I suppose,’ he added.

  Alice smiled quickly – he’d given her the perfect cue.

  ‘No, it’s not,’ she said. ‘It’s about what you are expecting from me. As a wife, I mean.’ She sipped again. ‘Do you expect me to be at home all the time, after we’re married – whether you’re there or not?’

  The question seemed to surprise him, and he paused for a second. ‘Well – I’m not going to keep you under lock and key, if that’s what you mean,’ he said. ‘Why – have you got something exciting planned?’

  ‘Hardly exciting,’ Alice replied. Then – ‘It’s just that…I can’t bear the thought of sitting around doing nothing all day, Sam,’ she said, ‘and that’s what’ll happen, won’t it? Wherever we live, it’ll just be us two to cook and clean for, and when you’re on night duty I shall be alone for perhaps forty-eight hours or more… I don’t mind being alone, I mind being alone with nothing to do. I mind that very much.’

  This was something that obviously hadn’t crossed his mind. ‘So – what might you want to do?’ he said.

  ‘Well – possibly to go back to work – you know, like before,’ Alice said. ‘I worked very hard to become good at the job, to be successful, and I really enjoy it. It’s interesting meeting different people all the time, and helping them make decisions about one of the most important matters they’ll usually ever have to consider. Certainly the most money they’ll probably ever be involved with. The buying or selling of their home can be a very anxious time.’

  Sam shrugged briefly. ‘Well, I’d only ever imagined being the sole support of my wife,’ he admitted, ‘to provide for you, and allow you some time for yourself – which I think you thoroughly deserve.’ He half-smiled. ‘Hopefully, there is never likely to be any shortage of money for us…’

  Alice cut him short. ‘Oh it’s not about the money, Sam! It’s about…’ Her voice trailed off for a second. She was going to say it was about being independent, not financially, but about being free to live in the outside world, rather than the sometimes cloying one of domesticity. Instead, she said casually, ‘It’s just a thought, that’s all, you know, for the future…that if I find I have too much time on my hands I could go back into business at some point.’

  Sam drank from his glass. ‘I’d only ever want you to be happy, Alice,’ he said, not looking at her.

  Alice glanced back him shrewdly. And that’s all I want for you, too, Sam, she thought. And when you’re not happy, I want you to confide in me…not treat me like someone who hasn’t the right to know what’s going on in your head.

  ‘Tell me about today, please, Sam,’ she said firmly. ‘Tell me about what’s been on your mind – because something has, I know it.’

  There was a long silence, and Alice was suddenly afraid that she’d gone too far…was probing too much, that she should be minding her own business after all.

  Then, eventually – ‘It’s just that yesterday I had to go to a rather delayed memorial service for a friend – someone I’d known for a long time,’ Sam said, his voice husky. ‘ We were doing much the same course in medicine,’ he added. And after a moment – ‘I was asked to plant a tree in his memory.’

  Alice raised her eyes briefly. Sam hadn’t thought to mention this before. ‘Who was he? What was his name?’ she asked curiously.

  Sam sat forward and put his glass down on the table. Without looking at her he said, ‘He was called Toby – Toby Dawson. But…but I don’t want to talk about it, Alice, not tonight. Let’s not spoil what’s been such a lovely occasion for us both – for us all.’

  Chapter Six

  At 2.30 the following Saturday afternoon, Alice made her way out of Temple Meads station to be greeted almost at once by Fay and Eve who’d been standing there waiting for her.

  ‘Oh good, you were on time,’ Fay said, giving Alice a hug, and standing aside for Eve to do the same. ‘Come on – I’ve parked the car just over there.’

  ‘I like what you’re wearing, Alice,’ Eve said. ‘I don’t think we’ve seen you in that before have we?’

  ‘No, I don’t think you have because I haven’t worn it for a long time,’ Alice said. She made a face to herself. She’d been searching through everything she owned trying to decide what would be suitable to wear to a birthday party on a farm which was sure to be very wet underfoot thanks to all the recent rainfall. She’d finally dug out this slightly flared blue skirt and the cream top with a lacy neckline, from the bottom of her drawer. It looked quite nice with the navy blue blazer she remembered she’d had cleaned just before the war. Her black, Cuban-heeled shoes completed an outfit which wasn’t exactly exciting, she knew that – but where had there been anything exciting to buy in the shops these days, anyway?

  As usual Fay was wearing dark slacks, this time
with a red and white check blouse, and a loose jacket, while Eve looked neat and fresh in a two-piece, buttery-colour suit which her mother had apparently made for her.

  ‘My mother used to make all my clothes,’ she said, responding to the others’ approval of what she was wearing. ‘She’s got all sorts of material hoarded away in drawers and cupboards, which she’s bought over the years. And she made this for me as a surprise. She’s amazingly clever with her needle,’ Eve added, ‘which sadly, I am not. Though I did help Mrs. Foulkes make those banners with the VE bunting Roger managed to get at the shop, didn’t I?’ Eve reminded the others.

  They nodded, and Alice said, ‘It was difficult to know what to wear today, and this perpetual wet weather hasn’t helped, has it? I’m glad we’ve all brought our umbrellas with us.’ She shuddered. ‘I bet it’s going to be mucky and squelchy on the farm. D’you think our Land Army boots are still there if we need them?’

  They reached the car, and Fay opened the doors for them to get in, Eve in the back, and Alice in the front seat, then Fay switched on the engine and they were off.

  ‘You remembered to bring the presents…the apron, and the china dish?’ Fay said, glancing across at Alice.

  ‘Of course – and when I went back to the shops to buy them I knew they were things Mabel will like,’ Alice said. And I managed to find some pretty paper to wrap them in.’

  ‘And I’ve found a nice little box to put the Coty perfume in,’ Fay said.

  Eve leaned forward for a moment. ‘I hope it won’t be too much of a shock to Mrs. Foulkes when we turn up,’ she said, and Fay interrupted.

  ‘Oh, she’ll be thrilled, you know she will – I spoke to Roger on the phone again to let him know we could all be there, and he was really pleased…really pleased,’ she said. She smiled across at the others. ‘Let’s hope old Foulksie shares his enthusiasm.’

  Alice and Eve nodded. The farmer’s moods had always been unpredictable. Alice glanced back at Eve. ‘Do you think we should have brought something for Mr. Foulkes and Roger as well?’ she said. ‘Because we haven’t seen them for nearly two years have we…two years! Can you believe that it’s that long ago?’

  Eve smiled. ‘I did think of bringing another tin of liniment for Mr. Foulkes’ arthritis,’ she said, ‘because my parents still swear that it works, but I forgot about it in the end.’ She giggled. ‘Will you ever forget Walter’s reaction when he opened that first tin I brought back for him? He nearly hit the ceiling, didn’t he!’

  ‘Well, it certainly did smell seriously strong,’ Alice said, ‘I remember it made my eyes fill up. Still – he did seem touched that he’d been given it, didn’t he? In fact, he was quite affable for a few minutes afterwards, and did admit later that the ointment had given him some relief.’ Alice paused. ‘He was such a funny old thing, wasn’t he…so different from Mabel…yet he also had a very kind side to him now and then, didn’t he?’

  Eve agreed at once. ‘I shall never forget how sweet he was when we heard about Bath being blitzed,’ she said. ‘He seemed really upset and made Roger take us all there in the van, straightaway, to see how my parents had fared.’ She shuddered. ‘It was the worst moment of my life when we heard about it on the wireless…I imagined seeing our house just a pile of rubble with my mother and father buried somewhere underneath it.’

  ‘Well, thank heaven, you didn’t,’ Fay said. ‘And your parents made us so welcome when we arrived that morning, even able to provide us with a good lunch, despite everything.’ She glanced back at Eve. ‘It was really nice to meet them, Evie,’ she said, ‘even if the occasion wasn’t exactly ideal.’

  There was silence for a few moments after that, Alice and Fay remembering the impression that Eve had given them of Mr. and Mrs. Miles. Eve had explained that her parents, both concert pianists, had been elderly when they’d had her, and that, growing up, she’d often felt in the way of their careers. But it was obvious on that morning after the Blitz that the family of three were very close and loved each other without question.

  By now, the Austin had seen them safely out of the city and they were heading into the countryside. Eve leaned forward again.

  ‘Are you sure you know the way, Fay?’ she asked innocently. What a question to ask Fay Reynolds, new driver or not! Staring straight ahead of her, Fay said –

  ‘I am reluctant to dignify that question with a response, Eve Miles,’ she said. ‘But, yes, of course I know the bloody way. And so should you – Roger took us to and from the farm many, many times, didn’t he…don’t you recognize any of it? Any of the countryside?’

  Alice spoke up. ‘Won’t it be funny – I mean strange – to see everything again?’ she said. ‘Home Farm was just that –our home – for four whole years. None of us had a clue what was expected of us, did we…digging millions of potatoes, milking the cows, mucking out the pigs…it was another world! And after a few shocks, we did it, didn’t we? Somehow we did it, did everything they asked us to, and we even enjoyed it…didn’t we? Most of it?’ She turned to look at the others, and they both agreed.

  ‘And you have to admit, there were compensations,’ Fay pointed out. ‘Like Mabel’s fantastic suppers. I shall never forget them, and honestly I didn’t think it was possible to feel so hungry at the end of the day and to eat so much food! We didn’t even think about rationing while we were at the farm did we? We forgot all about it. And it was always so peaceful there we hardly thought about the war, either, did we…not until the Bath raid.’

  ‘And not until the Americans arrived in the village,’ Alice said thoughtfully.

  ‘But what’s really, really weird,’ Eve said, ‘is how we put it all behind us afterwards. When we left, it so quickly became the past, didn’t it? Something that happened, and then had gone. For ever. I mean, in no time at all, those four years seemed just an intrusion into our lives, and then it all came to an abrupt end and we just carried on where we’d left off.’ She shook her head briefly. ‘Doesn’t that feel weird to you?’

  ‘The thing is, Evie,’ Alice said, ‘we were the fortunate ones, weren’t we? None of us came to any harm – despite the raids. And we haven’t lost anyone, either…no one we love was killed, were they? But there are many thousands who did die during the raids, and many others whose husbands or brothers or sons will never return. I don’t expect the war feels quite such a passing thing to them, because the effects will go on for ever, won’t they?’

  ‘Yer – hang on, you two!’ Fay exclaimed. ‘We’re on our way to a birthday party, not a bloody wake! Stop being so morbid – and there are some barley sugars in my bag, Alice – pass some around.’

  Alice did as she was told and they motored on, each noting one or two familiar landmarks as they went. And presently, Fay said – glancing at her watch – ‘It’s nearly 4.30…do you think milking is all done by now? We’re about ten minutes away I should think.’

  ‘Well, I certainly hope that Mrs. Foulkes is not expected in the milking parlour on her birthday,’ Alice said. ‘So it’ll probably be all right if we turn up soon,’ she added.

  Thanks to all the rain which the country had endured during the first four months of the year, the country roads were pitted and soggy, and Fay drove slowly along trying to avoid having mud up to the axles of her car. But presently, they went around a familiar, sharp bend, then down the half-mile hill they all knew so well, and Home Farm was in sight. They were there. They were “home”.

  ‘Well well well, my luvvers!’ Mabel Foulkes exclaimed. ‘Now then – Roger – what ’ave you been plottin’!’

  Mabel’s face was a picture of excitement – and disbelief – when she came to the farmhouse door and saw the three girls standing there, and as they started chanting “Happy birthday to you” in unison, she came forward and drew them all into her, hugging them over and over again. And then Roger appeared behind her, grinning – and clearly pleased that his surprise for his mother had worked.

  They all went into the farmhouse, everyone talking a
t once, then Mabel moved over to the range where the kettle was boiling, and started to fill the huge teapot. She turned to look over her shoulder at the girls.

  ‘Rog made me bake a birthday cake,’ she said, ‘which I thought was unusual because ’ee don’t like cake much, but now I know why, an’ who was comin’ to ’elp us eat it!’

  Presently, with the farmer there as well, now – he’d been let in on the secret – everyone sat around the kitchen table and watched while Roger lit the candles, one by one, for his mother to blow out.

  ‘Well, I never,’ Mabel said slowly as she looked around her. ‘I ’ad no idea any of this was ’appenin’…and ’tis wonderful to see you all again, my luvvers,’ she added fondly. She paused. ‘’Sbeen lonely ’ere without you.’

  Alice was sitting next to Mabel, and she squeezed the older woman’s arm.

  ‘And it’s wonderful to see you, too, Mrs. Foulkes,’ she said warmly ‘It’s been a long time…and we’ve never stopped thinking about the farm, about you all.’ She glanced upwards as she spoke, smiling inwardly. There it was, as usual, the wooden clothes rack high above their heads, airing the week’s fresh laundry…the farmer’s long johns and Mabel’s bloomers…towels and pillow cases…nothing had changed.