Breakaway

by Alex Morgan

  By the time I was considering colleges, recruiters had found me. In my mind, I was at the prime of my young life. I was ready for college, loving my senior year, and excited about my future. I thought I’d checked off all the boxes I needed to check off that year, and I felt confident about what lay ahead for me.

  Little did I know it would all change in an instant.

  Set Your Own Timeline

  As I said above, don’t kick yourself too hard if you’re not perfect or if you haven’t met your goal by a random date set by other people. I was far from perfect at thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen, and in fact, I’m still not perfect! Pursuing your dreams is an ongoing process, and it’s something you need to do for yourself—not to meet another person’s timeline. Just set a goal for yourself to be as good as you can be, and make your deadlines your own. No one else should tell you how and when to meet your goals.

  CHAPTER 6

  * * *

  I had been having such a good time practicing against the men’s junior national team that afternoon during the winter of my senior year. I was joined by the rest of the women’s U-17 national team, and our scrimmage was going well. I was truly happy—so much in my life had come together, and the world was at my fingertips.

  And then I fell down and felt a sharp pain tear through my right knee.

  When I finally rose to my feet, I hobbled over to the sidelines with my arms wrapped around two other players.

  “Thanks, guys,” I said, and I meant it. By then I’d learned that other players feel a deep sense of concern when you’re injured. Even if they’re not on your team, they don’t want to see you out of the game. Maybe it’s because they fear being there themselves, or because they really care about your well-being, or because a hurt player really dampens the mood on the field. Regardless, they usually rush to your aid.

  My dad was there at practice, as always. When I got to my feet and away from the field, he helped me into the car, and even though I knew he felt as helpless as I did, he was trying to console me the whole time. My mom met us at the hospital. We sat down with an orthopedic surgeon, who ordered an MRI, and as I lay in the room with my parents awaiting the results, I expressed my biggest fears.

  “Mom, Dad, I know how these things go. If this is bad, I may be out of the game forever. Soccer is my life. I don’t want that.”

  My mom was so kind. “Alex, no matter what, soccer is going to be in your life. This is not going to end your dreams. I know you, and I know how hard you’re going to fight to get back on the field. You’ve always won—always. You’re going to beat this knee injury just like you’ve beaten everything else.” Mom smiled at me as she held my hand, squeezing it tightly.

  As much as I wanted to believe her comforting words, I couldn’t stop the barrage of negative thoughts that were going through my head. If I couldn’t play soccer, I’d lose my scholarship to Cal. I wouldn’t be able to finish my final season with my high school team. And worst of all, I’d be without a direction. For the longest time, soccer had been my main focus in life. It had taught me about teamwork, dedication, passion, hard work, and setting goals. Where else was I going to find something I loved as much?

  You might have had an experience that sent you into the depths of despair. Maybe it was a death in the family, an injury, or even something simple like a bad grade. And while you’re going through it, it might feel like the end of the world. But trust me, it’s not. You’re still alive and breathing, and you still have years and years ahead of you to make something wonderful out of your life. A setback is a challenge, but it’s not the end of your dreams. I didn’t realize it at that moment, but my injury would teach me that.

  The doctor came back into the room. “Alex, I have the results.”

  I took a deep breath.

  “It’s a torn ACL. It’s probably going to require surgery and then physical therapy, but you’ll be back on the field in less than six months.”

  I felt myself exhale. I’d known lots of players who had torn ACLs, and most of them had come back and played brilliantly. If they could do it, I could too.

  You might have heard of the ACL, but if you haven’t, I’ll explain it. ACL stands for “anterior cruciate ligament,” and it’s one of the four major ligaments that hold your knee together. When you bend your knee, your ACL stretches to allow that motion. Essentially, it’s what holds the bones of your knee together and stabilizes it when you bend or pivot. That’s why it often tears in sports—because you’re bending, turning, moving side to side, and in general, putting a lot of strain on your knees.

  During surgery, an orthopedic surgeon usually takes tissue from another part of your body and puts it into your knee, essentially patching up the tear. It’s an incredibly common type of surgery, and in fact, ACL injuries are one of the most frequent problems sports medicine doctors see. After surgery, a person may need as long as six months for recovery, during which time they go through physical therapy to strengthen the knee.

  I wasn’t looking forward to being out for so long, but I was relieved that the injury wasn’t worse.

  When I got home that day, I mentally prepared myself for what was to come. I was going to have to go to rehab to alleviate the swelling in my knee. Then I was going to have surgery. After that, I knew I was going to have to give myself the space and time to recover. I couldn’t push myself to the limit—that would only make the injury worse. And I knew if I got impatient I’d only get more frustrated. I was frustrated enough already. I couldn’t imagine what I’d be like if it was worse! So right then and there I made a promise to myself:

  Alex, you’re going to learn something from this. All you want to do is play soccer, but you can’t do that right now. This injury is going to teach you to deal with disappointment and make the best of it. And it’s going to show you how to overcome adversity. This is going to make you a stronger person.

  When Setbacks Happen, Take Care of Yourself

  When you have a setback, it’s important to stop and take stock of the situation. That’s what I had to do so that I wouldn’t freak out about my ACL. Don’t forget to breathe, and don’t forget that, as I said above, this isn’t the end of the world. Most of all, take care of yourself—talk to a friend, go to the movies, have a hot chocolate, or whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better in that moment when you’re feeling your worst. Taking care of yourself will make you feel better, and then you’ll be able to rearrange your goals, or if necessary, figure out new ones.

  CHAPTER 7

  * * *

  When I injured my ACL, my mom was working as a pharmaceutical rep. Her job required her to know a lot of doctors—by reputation and personally—so she made it her mission to find me a top-notch surgeon. After a lot of pushing and shoving, she got me in with Dr. Neal ElAttrache, who was the best doctor in LA for knee and shoulder injuries. He squeezed me into his schedule thanks to Mom. I’ll always thank her for that, because Dr. ElAttrache was amazing.

  Dr. ElAttrache was in high demand. One time in the waiting room I even saw Travis Barker from Blink-182! I remember thinking, Mom got me in with a really good doctor. Dr. ElAttrache was so nice and really took time with me, focusing on what I needed.

  My surgery was scheduled for early morning not long after my injury. My dad drove me to the hospital at four a.m., and we were both very sleepy and nervous. But as I headed into surgery, my dad couldn’t have been more reassuring.

  “You’ll see me in just a few hours.” Dad kissed me on the head and then waved good-bye as I was wheeled into the operating room. I’d never had surgery before, and I was a little scared. But Dr. ElAttrache had talked me through it, so I felt prepared.

  I was given anesthesia, and I felt myself drifting off. Before I knew it, I was back in the recovery room, with Dad by my side. If you’ve never had surgery before, I’m telling you, it’s the weirdest thing to wake up and not know where you are. You feel like you j
ust went into the operating room, and then, boom, you’re out after what feels like three seconds, lying in a bed in a strange, sterile recovery room. Of course, my surgery had lasted for about two hours, but it seemed like it was over in the blink of an eye.

  My parents had been waiting for me to wake up. “Everything went well, Alex,” said my dad with the sweetest look on his face. In case you haven’t seen my dad, he’s kind of a manly man, with bushy eyebrows and a big beard. But he has these very kind, gentle eyes that speak volumes. Right then they were telling me how much he loved me. “We’ll be going home very soon.”

  And we did. We were in the car pretty much immediately after I stopped feeling groggy.

  I didn’t play with a team for five more months, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I’d never gone that long without playing, and I was an emotional wreck a lot of the time. Luckily, my family was so supportive. My current and former teammates called or sent me messages all the time, wishing me a speedy recovery. I did physical therapy three times a week, and I was dedicated to it. I never slacked off and never missed a session, and I always did the exercises I was supposed to do at home. If you have an injury and you want it to get better, you have to be committed. After I finished PT, I would watch my Cypress teammates practice. I knew I would never play with them again, but I was the captain, and I wasn’t going to quit before the end. Again, I was dedicated—on and off the field.

  I was forced to do a lot of sitting around, too, which was unusual for me. I had been on the go for so long that just relaxing, watching TV or reading, felt strange. I think a lot of us who have big goals never truly allow ourselves to rest. I don’t want to call us overachievers—that implies you’re doing something wrong—but for people who do a lot, not doing a lot is tough. After surgery, I had to let that go, and while it wasn’t easy, it ultimately paid off because it allowed me to recover.

  Within a few months, I started running in physical therapy. I took it slowly at first, then got faster and faster till I felt I was almost back up to speed. I also began practicing on the field while wearing a knee brace. I pushed myself hard, but I knew my limits. I persuaded my therapists to let me do more and more, and they responded, allowing me to do things as long as they weren’t a danger to me. I was so worried about reinjuring myself, but I knew that keeping active was important to healing, so I forced myself to get out and about.

  I think it actually took me longer to recover emotionally than it did to heal physically. Like I said, I was back on the field in five months, which is fast for an ACL injury, and while I wasn’t physically 100 percent, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it took almost a year to feel the same confidence and aggressiveness I had before. I was so worried about being injured again and losing ground as a player. I’d always been so good, so not being as good as I wanted to be right out of the gate was crushing. And I felt I’d missed so much in those months I was away from my teams, especially the Diamond Bar High School varsity team. I’d played with them for four years, and I had to miss the end of my senior season. But I realized I just had to let that go. You can’t change the past; you can only accept it for what it is. In the end, I think I finally recovered emotionally because I realized that my injury was just a bump in the road, and eventually, I saw myself improve from where I’d been before. I showed myself that being sidelined wasn’t going to stop me.

  I can’t say for certain, but I have a theory about why my ACL got torn. I think my body just wasn’t ready for the stress I was putting on it. I’d had a few minor quad and hamstring injuries prior to tearing my ACL, so I hadn’t been training every day. With my muscles unable to fully recover, my joints just weren’t prepared for intense exercise and weren’t equipped to deal with that other injury.

  With proper training, I believe you can decrease your chances of becoming injured like I did, and that’s why I’ve worked with FIFA’s Sports Injury Prevention Program. They recommend a series of exercises that will help warm up your muscles. They emphasize balance, flexibility, and a small amount of noncontact running so that you’re physically prepared when you go on the field. I warm up like this every single time I play—whether it’s practice, scrimmages, or the World Cup final—and I can tell it’s helped prevent further injuries. My knee still hurts sometimes, but I’ve never again torn my ACL.

  In early 2012, I went back to Diamond Bar High School to help coach the varsity team for a day. It was so much fun. I was still a Brahma (our mascot) at heart, so being back on the field I’d played on so many times felt like being home. In practice, we jogged together, I showed the players how to take penalty shots, and we did a few passing drills.

  But one of the most meaningful moments was meeting a senior player named Stevie Thomas, who’d been injured and couldn’t practice with us. She’d strained the outside of her right knee and had been sidelined for a few games. I taught her how to warm up and threw in a few more tips. I can always relate to players who’ve been sidelined, especially with ACL injuries. It’s a very emotional thing to go through when soccer is all you know.

  What she said afterward made it all worthwhile. “Because Alex went through a similar thing,” she said, “I know I’ll be able to do it too.”

  You may have been injured playing a sport you love, but remember, it doesn’t have to happen again. Do the necessary steps to prepare yourself, and your body and mind can be strong and injury-free. If you’re worried about being sidelined from an activity you love for whatever reason—illness or having to focus on something else in your life—just work hard in advance so that you’ll never feel too far behind. Preparation is key to getting ahead and not falling behind.

  During the Tough Times, Focus on Your Passion

  The disruption of a goal can be one of the best things that ever happened to you. For me, being injured and staying off the field reminded me of what my true passion was: soccer. If I’d kept playing without interruption, I might have never had the time to sit back and fully realize the deep, wonderful love I have for the sport. They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and that’s the case when I’m off the field. If something gets in the way of your pursuit of a goal, let that be a time to reflect upon and truly embrace that passion.

  CHAPTER 8

  * * *

  The months leading up to college were hard in some ways but easy in others. I was still recovering from my ACL injury, so I felt emotionally drained, but I was so excited about college that my happiness helped alleviate the tough times.

  Leaving for college may be years ahead for you, but it’s like any other transition. It’s an incredibly emotional time, but it can also be one of the best times of your life. Try not to view it as an ending—it’s really a new beginning. If you’re close with your high school friends, you’ll stay close. Some of my high school teammates are still my best friends in the world! And you’re going to meet so many new people in college, have new adventures, and learn more than you ever have before. You have so much to look forward to.

  The prospect of being on your own in college can be thrilling—I certainly felt that way at times. But I also felt lucky that I wasn’t really saying good-bye to my parents. My dad was still planning to travel to all my games, so I knew I’d see him a lot. Still, I cherished the times I got to spend with him late in my senior year.

  As you know, my dad loves a good game, especially when he’s challenging his daughters. In California, you really need a car to get around, so when my sisters and I were sixteen, we got used cars. There was no way my parents were going to trust us with something brand-new! In fact, I rear-ended someone about six months after I got my license. Ugh. But when we got a little older and were about to leave home, Dad devised a strategy where we’d each get to pick a new car for college based on sort of a points system. We’d get points if we made certain accomplishments or met our goals.

  My dad said, “By your last semester of high school
, we’ll count up all of your grades, extracurricular activities, sports, charity work, and everything that you’re doing that helps shape your future. The final tally will count toward a new car.”

  I took the challenge on as my own personal mission. Having a target to hit was exciting to me. But I wasn’t just going to meet my goal. I was going to exceed it, and then some.

  “Challenge accepted, Dad!”

  Jenny and Jeri had been put up to this years before me. Jenny was a good student, so she made lots of As, and before the end of high school she picked out a Mercury: a nice, sensible car. Jeri was a good student and loved cheerleading, so she made the squad, got good grades, and picked out a Chevy truck. It was as hardworking as she was.

  But I wasn’t to be stopped. I scored so many goals that year that I left my sisters in the dust, and I picked out a Lexus 350. I think my parents actually let me do this because I’d gotten a scholarship to pay for college. Otherwise, there’s no way they would have agreed to it!

  My dad and I flew to Phoenix to pick it up, and we planned to drive it back. I have such good memories of us together on this trip, and my dad, always the coach, used it as a time to teach me lessons.