Breakaway

by Alex Morgan

  My nerves had quieted down a little bit because I’d gotten to know the rest of the team at the last camp, but this time something big was on the line—play at my first senior international tournament. I realized that I was somewhat of a long shot, given that I was so young and so new, but I wanted so badly to be one of the players chosen.

  The United States had lost to Sweden in last year’s Algarve Cup—on penalty kicks, no less—so this was going to be a heated year with the States hunting for the win. Despite being the winningest team in the Cup’s history, we felt like we had a lot to prove. Plus, the United States was set to play Sweden in the group stage at this year’s tournament, which meant Pia was going to go against her own country again. Needless to say, it was going to be an interesting game!

  I’m getting ahead of myself. I was so excited about the camp, but it fell right at the beginning of the semester. I was the only college player called to this extended camp, which was a big honor, but also very intimidating. I’d miss three weeks of classes and have to study back at the hotel, and I was worried I’d have to drop a class. Either that or I’d fall so far behind I’d never catch up. Do you ever have those dreams where you realize, weeks into school, that you haven’t attended any of the classes and that you have a test coming up? Well, that was actually happening to me—and I wasn’t dreaming!

  I was also concerned that my studies might interfere with my performance on the field. If I couldn’t stay completely focused on soccer—if I was preoccupied with studying and school during practice or at team meetings—would that affect my contributions to the team? I made a vow right then and there that I had to divide and balance my time better than I ever had before. If I was on the field, my life would be soccer. Off the field, school. I’d always done this. Why should now be any different?

  The first few days of camp were wonderful. I was so excited to see my teammates, who at that point were starting to feel like old friends. At the last camp I’d struck up an immediate friendship with my roommate, Heather O’Reilly, who was just a little bit older than me but had been on the national team for years. She knew Neil, so we connected about that, and in general, she was just so sweet to me. Abby Wambach had been similarly welcoming. She’d told me to come to her for anything, and she was always checking in with me. Finally, Amy Rodriguez and I would go get coffee every morning and hang out. We were both known for our speed, and as forwards we had tons to talk about.

  I was pretty upbeat about whatever my future might hold. If I didn’t get selected for the Algarve Cup team, I’d still have my senior year at Cal ahead of me. I wouldn’t be playing with the national team, but maybe the phone would ring again, with Cheryl on the other end, calling me up to a training camp. Just because you don’t get selected for one tournament doesn’t mean you’re out of the running forever. And like I said, I’d still have Cal and my beloved varsity team, which had taught me so much. Either way, I’d be training every day, playing the sport that made my heart sing.

  I was truly lucky to have so many options. But no matter what happened, I wanted to feel like I’d tried my hardest and played my best. If I didn’t get picked for the Algarve Cup, it wouldn’t be a failure. There was always next time. I felt as confident as I could be, but then the unexpected happened.

  On the third day of practice, I was running down the field and felt an uncomfortable pain in the back of my leg. I thought, Maybe it’s just a strain? So I kept running.

  But after a few more steps I skidded to a halt and bent down, trying to stretch the back of my legs. It hurt worse than before. I shook my leg. Maybe it’s just tight? But when it still didn’t feel better, I knew immediately—I had a hamstring injury.

  Most of you probably know what your hamstring is, but if you don’t, I’ll tell you. It’s the long muscle in the back of your leg that you can feel if you bend down and touch your toes. Runners often strain their hamstrings because they put a lot of pressure on them as they’re sprinting. It’s so important to stretch because that can ease a lot of the tension that builds up in your hamstrings. I’d been stretching—a lot—but obviously, I’d been running a lot too. And maybe it had been just too much for my body to handle.

  I went to the sidelines and talked to the team trainers. They examined my leg and confirmed I had hurt my hamstring. This wasn’t a major injury, and I knew it was possible I’d recover quickly, so I took stock of the situation.

  I was pretty bummed, but I was sure of one thing: I didn’t want to sit out a practice. And I wasn’t ready to go home. So I asked them if they thought I would be able to continue playing. The trainers said they’d wrap my leg tight first for compression and see how I felt.

  Awesome, I thought. This was promising.

  With my leg wrapped up, I jumped back into practice and started sprinting. But I felt immediate pain, and right away I knew I’d strained it even more. Unfortunately, it was going to be a few weeks until I was back on the field.

  At age twenty, I was not just the youngest player at the national team training camp, but I was the first to leave. I was brokenhearted. This was my first shot at a senior international tournament, and I wasn’t going to make it. But I knew it wasn’t my fault—everyone gets hurt in soccer at one time or another—and as far as injuries go, pulling a hamstring wasn’t bad. I knew I could recover. This wasn’t going to end my career, and it was a fraction as bad as tearing my ACL. Also, I had the experience of having been through something like this once before, and I’d come out on top. I knew I’d be back and better than ever.

  Make a Plan B

  You may have your heart set on something, but if you don’t achieve it or don’t get selected for it, you have to turn to your plan B. Cal was my plan B, and when I pulled my hamstring and had to leave the national training camp, I wasn’t just resigned to going back—I was delighted. My plan B was a good one. I think you always have to have something in your back pocket, and you have to be sure that it’s something you’ll be happy with. Maybe you didn’t get into Harvard. That’s okay—you still got into a backup school you’ll love. So many things in life are out of your control, but you can control your destiny if you have a few possibilities to fall back on.

  CHAPTER 19

  * * *

  The Algarve Cup wasn’t on television, but I checked in on the results every few days. And in between, I focused on my studies and getting myself healthy. There were nineteen members of the US national team fighting their hearts out in Portugal, and while I wasn’t with them, I was there in spirit. I’ll never know whether or not I would have been selected for the team, and maybe that is for the best. The time between my injury and the start of the Cup had given me the space to feel nothing but excitement for my friends. Amy, Shannon, Abby, and all the wonderful women I’d come to love played absolutely beautifully over the course of the tournament, and after a hard-fought final against Germany, the United States prevailed 3–2.

  My recovery from my hamstring injury was quick—so fast, in fact, that I was feeling ready to play by the beginning of March. Being sidelined is tough. I missed playing so much. But like my previous injury, the break gave me time and space to rediscover my passion for the sport.

  I was getting anxious to show everyone I was 100 percent again when the phone rang. It was Cheryl Bailey.

  “Alex,” said Cheryl’s voice on the end of the line. “We’d like you to play in a friendly game against Mexico at the end of the month. The match is in Utah, so we’ll need you a few days early for training.”

  I grinned from ear to ear. I would have packed my bags right then if she’d asked. But this was only a few weeks away, so I didn’t have long to wait.

  When we arrived in Sandy, Utah, which is a suburb of Salt Lake City, the forecast called for snow. As you know, I’m from Southern California, so I had zero experience playing in snow. Pia probably played one hundred games in snow in Sweden, and Abby Wambach’s from Rochester, New York, so I’m su
re it’s no big deal for her. But for me? I couldn’t even imagine it. I thought of the players from Mexico—had they ever even seen snow? This was going to be crazy!

  Sure enough, it started coming down before the game and didn’t stop the whole time. I walked toward the field feeling like a kid on a snow day—a very cold and wet kid, mind you. I couldn’t wait to play.

  But there were two things that made the day even more exciting.

  First, Pia had told me before the game that she wanted to put me in for about forty-five minutes. I wasn’t tapped to start, but she wanted to see me on the field, and she expected it would be for the entire second half. I can’t believe it, I thought. My first international game with the US national women’s team. I’m only twenty years old, and my dream is really coming true.

  But even better, my idol Kristine Lilly was playing with the national team for the first time since 2007. She’d taken a few years off from the team, but she’d decided she wanted to come back, and Pia had called her up for this game. She had worn #13 long before I did—I felt like she owned it—so that’s the jersey she wore, and I wore #21.

  One day I told Kristine I’d always worn #13 in her honor.

  “Well, Alex,” she replied. “When I retire, number thirteen is yours.”

  I was so honored, and to this day Kristine’s words mean so much to me. Every time I put on my #13 jersey, I think of what an amazing player she was, and I still strive to be as successful as she was.

  But that day, as we stood waiting for the game to begin, Abby turned to the rest of the team and said, “If we score, we’re doing snow angels. And if we go two up, it’s snowball-fight time.”

  We all laughed. Abby is our spiritual leader in many ways. She makes us laugh all the time, has such a big heart, and thinks of the good of the team before she thinks of herself. She’s tough but completely loving. Anyway, three inches of snow? It was going to make for terrible playing conditions, but Abby wanted us to see the fun in it. It hadn’t ever snowed during a US women’s national game, so why not turn it into something memorable?

  And it was. We were sliding all over the place, snow pelting our bare legs and blinding our eyes, and sometimes you’d try to make a pass and the ball would roll and then get stuck. We even had to play with a bright yellow ball so the players could see it! We were scoreless in the first half, and I took to the field in the forty-sixth minute. My first senior national game. I was so happy.

  Then Abby scored in the sixtieth minute off a one-yard tap into the goal, and she headed straight for the right corner of the field, where she lay down and started making snow angels. And then everyone else joined in! Even a few midfielders who weren’t near the goal dropped to the ground and made their own. There I was near Abby, freezing to death in three inches of powder, making a snow angel, and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Who knew hard work could be so fun?

  We won against Mexico 1–0, so there was no snowball fight, but all in all, it was a day to remember. Never again has it snowed on a US women’s national game, and we certainly made the most of it!

  Treat Yourself

  When you reach a goal, don’t forget to celebrate. I’ll never forget that day playing Mexico, mainly because it was my first senior national game, and of course, because of the snow angels. I think we all get caught up in the relentless push toward a goal, and sometimes when we make it, we’re so tired that we don’t stop to appreciate the accomplishment. But being happy and throwing a little party for yourself shows that you deserve what you’ve achieved. Treat yourself well and have fun!

  CHAPTER 20

  * * *

  The friendly matches the United States was playing during the spring of 2010 were in many ways preparation for the World Cup, which was going to be held in Germany the following summer. You might think that a year is a long time to get ready for something, but it’s really not. If you’re going to take something seriously and do your best, you have to think far ahead. We were already thinking about the summer of 2011, and we hadn’t even qualified for the World Cup yet. That would take place later that year (we hoped!)

  So as I headed into the spring and summer of 2010, I realized I had some hard decisions to make. If I was going to put my all into the women’s national team, I had to shift my emphasis away from school. There was also just no way I could be absent from school in my last semester, training with the team, and still graduate on time.

  In addition, the WPS—the Women’s Professional Soccer league—would be holding its draft in the coming months, and I was pretty sure I was going to be picked for a team. That meant I’d be playing professional soccer—actually making money doing the thing I loved the most—in addition to playing with the national team. It was time for me to move on from college, as much as I knew I’d miss it. But I’d gone to Cal with a dream, and that was to play soccer full-time. In order to accomplish your goals, you have to make tough choices, and that time had come for me.

  I decided I was going to graduate early. You may be thinking, How is that possible? But I realized if I took classes during the summer, I could finish up my degree by the end of the fall semester. I had two semesters left, so why not take one during the summer? I’d have to be absent occasionally to train with the national team, but that was nothing new—I’d done that the previous fall. I can do this, I told myself.

  A lot of high-level collegiate athletes—including several members of the women’s national team—have left college to pursue professional sports full-time. That’s a personal decision, and I don’t think it’s something that can be taken lightly. But it wasn’t for me. My parents had always stressed the importance of a degree, so it was something I valued. And I was so close to graduating that leaving without my diploma felt silly. I knew that if I just stepped up my game, I could graduate early!

  But first I had to join the national team in a friendly game against Germany, which was going to be held on May 22 in Cleveland. I doubted I’d get a chance to start—I was still so new to the team—but I at least wanted a chance to make a mark with them. If I could get a goal, I’d be in heaven. All in all, I just wanted to contribute to my team.

  Germany is an absolute powerhouse in soccer, on both the men’s side and the women’s side. If you watched the men’s World Cup in 2014, you’ll remember them beating Argentina decisively. The German women’s team was consistently ranked by FIFA judges as one of the best in the world, but we were always considered to be just a bit better.

  More than ten thousand people were in attendance that day—it was a huge crowd. And after a hard-fought game, we won 4–0! I got to play starting midway through the second half, and while I didn’t score, I was pleased with my progress.

  I was starting to feel at home with the national team. It was still a little surreal playing with Abby and Shannon Boxx and especially Kristine Lilly, but it was beginning to get a little easier. I was still the new kid, but I was proving myself. And I kept getting called up for games, which showed I was making progress.

  That summer, I worked like crazy. I took a full load of classes, played a few friendly games with the women’s national team, and practiced soccer every single day. I had a goal in my sights, and that was to graduate early and move on to a professional career. It was a stressful summer, but I loved multitasking, and most of all, I loved working toward something.

  I even practiced with the Cal men’s team! It was so much fun being on the field with Servando. He was also gearing up for his last semester, and he was hoping to be drafted by a professional team in early 2011. I knew he would be—he was an excellent player and was cocaptain of the Cal men’s team our senior year.

  I wondered what the future would hold for us. It was likely he’d go play in one city and I’d play in another. Plus, I’d be traveling all the time with the national team. Being apart for short periods of time was nothing new for us—we’d done it all through college—but living in different
cities? That really scared me. I realized then I’d just have to trust in what we had. He was my best friend as well as one of the most passionate soccer players I knew. If that didn’t hold us together, I didn’t know what would.

  Let Go

  When you’re working toward something, you often have to trust in the unknown. I know that’s hard. When you strive for something every day, you just want to be in control of everything! But you can’t be. There are invisible forces in the world that are beyond your reach, and you just have to trust in them. It was my goal to play soccer full-time, and it was Servando’s, too. What that would mean for our relationship was largely out of our control, but we had to have faith in each other and in the world. If we were meant to be together, we would be. Letting go and having faith things will work out for the best is tough, but it’s all you can do sometimes.

  CHAPTER 21

  * * *

  As I stood on the field before the first Bears game of my senior year, things felt a little bitter­sweet. On the one hand, I was moving on to what I’d always dreamed of—the women’s professional draft and the national team—but I was leaving behind so much. I was going to graduate in December, leave my beloved college team behind, and say good-bye to dear friends I’d known for four years, not to mention being away from my boyfriend for long stretches of time. Cal had taught me so much on the field and off. It had taken me to Italy and Spain and Switzerland, introduced me to some of the finest teachers in the world, and brought my soccer game to a whole new level. In many ways, I had grown up here, and I was truly sad to leave.