A Little Consequence

by Amy Knupp

  He’d been in a similar situation when his twin sister, Melanie, had had a baby a few months ago. “You’ll hold ours and some kind of motherly instinct will kick in out of nowhere. I’m sure of it. Saw it happen with my sister.”

  She shook her head almost frantically. “Instincts don’t matter. You can still screw it up.”

  The drops started coming faster and Evan hopped up. He went around to her and held out his hand. “Let’s continue this in the truck.”

  She gazed up at him stubbornly and he thought for sure she was going to refuse. At last, she stood—surprising him by taking his hand.

  He followed her to the passenger side and opened the door for her. He jogged around to his side and got in just as the clouds opened up.

  Now what did he say? There was nothing in his life that had prepared him for this situation.

  “You could call a friend back home. Family member. Do you have a sister?”

  Selena shook her head distractedly.

  “You can’t talk to your mom?”

  Selena laughed hollowly. “No, I can’t talk to my mom. She’s in the screwing-it-up category. I haven’t talked to her for over a month now.”

  “Don’t suppose you’re going to tell me what happened with her.” He watched her for a reaction but got nothing. “Did you two fight?”

  “For fifteen years, give or take.”

  “Did you leave home because of her?”

  “You could say that.”

  They sat there with the rain pelting down on the cab of the truck and the wind whipping the palm fronds outside the window. Their breath had fogged up the glass so that the world was a blur, but then life seemed like a blur lately, so maybe this was fitting.

  “I told my mom and brother I don’t want them in my life anymore. Don’t want to be in theirs,” Selena said, so quietly he could barely hear her over the storm. “I couldn’t take it anymore so I packed up my stuff and left.”

  “And came here? From Boston?”

  “I didn’t know where else to go. My friends idolize my brother and like my mother. They don’t get how I feel.”

  “What made you decide on San Amaro Island?”

  “I came here when I was a little girl,” she said. “Remembered it as a peaceful place, full of good memories. I thought it would make me feel better.”

  “Does it?”

  She shook her head. “Makes me realize how alone I am.”

  “What did you and your mom argue about?”

  Selena turned as if just now realizing who she was talking to. “You don’t want to hear all this. I’m sorry.”

  “I asked.”

  She drew her left leg toward her and leaned against the door. “My brother, Tom, is in the army. Special Forces. Just over a year ago, he was in an explosion and almost died.” Her voice broke on the last words and she wouldn’t make eye contact.

  Jeez. “That’s rough,” he said.

  “I took care of him once he was able to come home. It was basically a full-time job at first, monitoring his medications, surgeries, therapy sessions, helping him eat. I’d been volunteering five days a week at the Art to Heart Center and I stopped going so that I could help him get his life back.”

  “That’s a big sacrifice.”

  “Nothing compared to what he went through.” She rubbed her upper arms and Evan reached into the backseat to grab the sweatshirt he’d left there. He handed it to her and she slipped it over her head. “Thanks. It took ten months for my brother to recover. He was one of the lucky ones. He lost two men in the explosion and another three were crippled by the blast.”

  “I’m glad he’s okay,” Evan said, watching her. She didn’t offer more. “So how did you go from being his caretaker to leaving him?”

  “He’s back in Iraq, Afghanistan, who knows where exactly,” she said quietly, as if that explained everything. “Takes some cajones, I’ll give him that.”

  “Takes a bunch of rocks for a brain!” Selena fisted her hands in her lap. “After almost dying, he chose to go back there. To put himself in that danger again. I understand the whole serve-your-country thing—to an extent. Understand that the military is something he had to do. But he almost died. We almost lost him. And he went back to it willingly.” Barely controlled rage laced her words.

  As someone who thrived on facing unknown dangers every day in his job—granted, different kinds of dangers from having a mine go off in his face, but still dangers—Evan could understand her brother’s decision. His job was so much a part of him that if he stopped doing it, his life wouldn’t be quite right.

  He doubted mentioning that he understood where her brother was coming from would score any points with Selena right now, though.

  “How does your mom fit into it?”

  A growl of frustration came from Selena’s throat. “She’s big on her social life, big on appearances. When my brother announced he was going back, do you know what that woman did? She used it as an excuse to throw a party! ‘Hey, let’s celebrate! My son’s going back to see if the bad guys can do him in completely this time. What a great chance to show I can host the party of the year!’”

  Evan put a hand on Selena’s thigh, wanting to calm her down before she went through the ceiling. He didn’t speak, though…had no idea which words would be the right ones.

  “I left town on the day of the party. Drove for three days to get here. The night I met you is the day my brother left for duty.”

  Everything clicked into place. Her recklessness, her openness to going home with him, the one-eighty in personality she’d pulled since. She’d been scared of losing a member of her family, and had blown off some serious steam—with him.

  “Have you talked to your mom or brother since you left?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think you’re an expert at call avoidance,” he said with a half grin. “I’m going to vote no.”

  “I had one of my friends tell my mom I’m safe, so she doesn’t try to track me down. I don’t want to talk to her. Don’t want either one of them in my life. I’m much better off by myself than having to wait for a phone call saying my brother is dead.”

  “Which brings us back to you needing someone to talk to.”

  “I don’t need someone to talk to. I just need…I don’t know. Ice cream.”

  Evan chuckled, relieved to see evidence of her sense of humor. She didn’t look quite as pale, either. He checked his watch and started the truck.

  “Where are we going?” Selena asked as she buckled her seat belt.

  “Lambert’s opens at ten.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “You’re getting ice cream. No arguments.”

  “I’m going to weigh five hundred pounds.”

  “Start thinking about what flavor you want.”

  Ten minutes later, Evan returned to the truck, where Selena waited, with a large drink for himself, a butter pecan sundae for her and a plan of action for the rest of the day.

  “Buckle up, darlin’. We’ve got somewhere to go.”

  “Home?” Selena asked as she straightened from her slouch and took the big foam dish from him.

  “You can’t work on the mural in the rain, correct?”

  “Right, but I can work in my studio.”

  “Light’s horrible. Besides, you have plans.” He started the engine and backed out of the parking spot.

  “What are my plans?” she asked warily.

  “A surprise.”

  He glanced over at her in time to see her narrow her eyes.

  “Trust me,” he said, knowing she had no reason to. But then she really had no reason not to, either.

  “How long will this surprise take?”

  “All day. What do you have to lose?”

  “A day. I really should be painting.”

  “It’ll wait. You need a mental health day.”

  She eyed him sideways. “I’m not sure I like what you’re insinuating.”

  Evan smile
d. “You are difficult.”

  “Because I won’t bend to your will and go who knows where with you for the whole day? Or because I won’t marry you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why should I go?”

  “Because it might, in some small way, be helpful. You might even have fun.”

  “What is this word, ‘fun’?”

  Evan grinned. “Last chance. Here’s where I get on the highway and take you away. Unless you stop me.”

  Selena looked at the road and back at him. “Go ahead. Have your way with me.”

  She said it with more dread than humor, but Evan couldn’t help the thoughts that flooded his mind about how he would like to have his way with her again. He didn’t kid himself. While marriage hadn’t been in his plans, there would definitely be some perks of sharing a bed with Selena every night.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ALL SELENA HAD PRIED out of Evan on the nearly two-hour car trip was that they were going to drop by his twin sister’s house and that his sister and her husband had a three-month-old son. Contrary to what Evan apparently thought, this served to do nothing but inspire terror in Selena.

  First off, there had been no discussion of meeting each other’s families. That wasn’t even on her radar and now she was minutes away from it.

  Help me, God.

  Not only family, but a baby, too. A baby was helpless and fragile and scared the living daylights out of her. What if she did something wrong? What if she somehow scarred him for life? She had plenty of experience with baby dolls but none with the real, squirming, breathing thing.

  The truck’s turn signal clicked as they approached an exit, and Selena’s body shifted into overdrive—heart rate up, blood pressure up, stress up. Maybe she would throw up while she was at it.

  “Try to relax,” Evan said. “I think you’ll like Melanie.”

  She doubted she would like anything in the next few hours, but what could she do? With a deep breath, she put on an everything’s-fine mask and forced a smile for Evan.

  He pulled into the driveway of a house the size of a glorified shoe box, and yet Selena was immediately struck by the homeyness it. It was painted light blue and had a flower box beneath each of two symmetrical windows on the front facade. There were three steps up to the door, and the concrete was lined with pots of plants.

  “Ready?” Evan asked as he cut the engine.

  “Not in the least. Evan, this was never part of the deal.”

  “What? Meeting my sister? She’s just my sister. A twenty-nine-year-old new mom who would love to meet you.”

  “Let’s get it over with.”

  “Try to tone down your enthusiasm. Don’t want to come on too strong to her or the baby.”

  Selena climbed out of the truck before Evan could get to her side. She wasn’t in the mood for him to be nice to her.

  He knocked softly on the front door, and it swung open seconds later.

  “You made it,” his sister said, stepping outside and throwing her arms around Evan.

  She had strawberry-blond hair and was tall and mostly slender except for a bit of a postbaby stomach and shockingly large breasts. Freckles were sprinkled across her cheeks and nose. She spotted Selena over Evan’s shoulder.

  “Hello. You must be Selena. I’m Melanie.”

  Selena awkwardly offered a hand for her to shake and nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Evan said he was bringing you along, but he was very mysterious.”

  “He’s like that,” Selena said, eyeing him sideways.

  “Where’s the little man?” Evan asked, opening the door wider.

  “Napping,” Melanie said in a hushed voice. She led them into the living room.

  As Melanie motioned for them to sit, they heard baby gurgles coming from the next room.

  “Or not. Be right back, y’all.” Melanie left and Evan moved closer to Selena as she glanced around. The inside was as inviting as the outside of the house. Curtains she’d noticed from the driveway had a delicate flower print and matching ribbons holding them back. Coordinated throw pillows covered the chairs, and an afghan was draped over the back of the sofa. A small bookshelf in the corner overflowed with books, and framed photos lined the top shelf. A delicious, sweet aroma wafted in from the kitchen.

  “Cute house,” Selena said to Evan, walking to the shelf of photos to see if she could spot him in any. It didn’t take long—he was in Melanie’s wedding picture, as well as several others.

  “She’s Holly Homemaker to an extreme,” Evan said, and Selena didn’t miss the affection in his voice.

  Melanie returned with a tiny baby cradled in her arms. She was playing with his nose and he flashed a toothless grin every time she touched him.

  “This is Henry,” Melanie said, totally absorbed in her son, and honestly, Selena could kind of see why. He was absolutely adorable and the way he grinned and responded to his mom…it made something deep inside her go warm and soft.

  “Henry, my main man, come here to Uncle Evan.”

  Melanie handed him over and Evan held him against his chest.

  Selena’s insides went from warm to completely puddled at the sight of this big man clearly head over heels with the baby. His hands looked huge as they supported Henry’s head, and yet he was so gentle.

  Gah. She was becoming a hopeless sap. She couldn’t help imagining him loving their child like that, though, and, oddly, that vision brought tears to her eyes.

  Idiot, Selena said to herself. You can’t have it both ways. You and he do not equal a family, so get over it.

  Evan pressed his lips to Henry’s forehead and then held his nephew a few inches over his head, eliciting the biggest grin yet. “You’ve doubled in size, little man. Your mama must be feeding you day and night.”

  “If you only knew how true that was,” Melanie said, and Selena noticed the shadows of fatigue under her eyes. “He’s a piglet.”

  “You need to let your mama sleep,” Evan told Henry, bringing him up so close to his face that their noses touched.

  “Why don’t you two entertain Henry for a couple of minutes and I’ll bring out drinks and a snack.”

  “You don’t need to go to any trouble,” Selena said, thinking how overwhelming it must be to take care of an infant all day every day…and night.

  “No trouble at all. I made chocolate-chip cookies when Evan called to say you were coming.”

  “You baked cookies? With a newborn? I’m impressed,” Selena said.

  “I cheated. They’re slice and bake. But they do in a pinch.”

  “I told you she’s the domestic goddess,” Evan said. “It’s best to do what she says and eat some cookies.”

  “Is tea okay?” Melanie asked.

  “Does it have caffeine?” Evan asked, surprising Selena.

  “Not a drop. I’m trying to stay away from it while I’m nursing.”

  “Sounds good,” Selena said, wondering if Evan had told her why they were visiting when he called her earlier.

  Melanie disappeared to the kitchen and Evan lowered himself to the sofa. Selena sat next to him, unable to take her eyes off Henry.

  “He’s so cute,” she said.

  “Of course he is. My mom says he looks like I used to.”

  “Your modesty is impressive.”

  “Want to hold him?”

  “No.” She stared at Henry’s doll-like facial features, completely enchanted by him and yet uneasy.

  “You weren’t kidding about not being comfortable around babies.”

  Selena shook her head. None of her friends had children yet. Only a couple from her circle were even married. She didn’t have any babies in her family. Hers would be the first.

  “I hadn’t, either,” Evan admitted. “Not till this guy.” He made a face at Henry and earned a gurgle.

  “You seem to know what you’re doing.”

  “Nah. If he needs anything, I hand him over to Mel.”

  Selena continued to watch Henry. He p
ut his itty-bitty hand in his mouth and sucked on his knuckles for all he was worth. His other hand flailed toward Selena’s side. Without thinking, she stuck her index finger out to touch him. Before she knew it, he’d grasped her finger and held on.

  “Kid’s got some good taste,” Evan said. “Sure you don’t want to try holding him? I’ll be right next to you.”

  Henry’s big blue eyes were focused on her now and she was mesmerized. “Okay. Come here, Henry.”

  Evan helped her settle Henry on her legs, his head near her knees. The baby returned his gaze to Selena. His arms were extended and constantly in motion and Selena stuck out her pinky finger and let him grip it.

  Eyes wide, Henry put his other hand in his mouth again.

  Selena watched him intently, fascinated by his every jerky movement. She barely noticed when Melanie returned and set down tall glasses of sweet tea on coasters on the coffee table.

  Henry noticed, though, and peered toward his mom.

  “Hey, little boy, who’s got you?” Melanie asked. She sat in one of the two armchairs across from the sofa, her attention riveted on her son.

  Suddenly the sweet, smooth baby face wrinkled into a frown, and then he let out a full-size wail. Selena tensed and looked frantically at Melanie.

  “Your mama’s still here, little man,” Evan said. “Right over there. You inherited her lungs, didn’t you?”

  “I upset him,” Selena said, begging Melanie with her eyes to take him back.

  “Not at all,” Melanie said, standing and picking up a baby cloth from the end and coming toward her son. “He just woke up and wants to nurse.”

  “I can’t help you there,” Selena said, putting her hand under Henry’s neck as she’d seen Evan do and lifting him.

  “Come here,” Melanie said, bending down and taking the baby. She sat back in her chair, then started talking about their mother to Evan as she lifted her T-shirt, unlatched something on her bra and let the baby begin drinking, just like that. Selena looked away. She’d never seen an infant nurse up close and was surprised at the pull on her emotions. She tried to imagine feeding her own child but couldn’t wrap her brain around it.

  “So, Selena, Evan told me on the phone that you’re expecting. When’s the due date?”