by Anna Gracie
"No, I don't deny it--I don't have to deny anything--there is nothing
to deny!" she stormed.
"I cannot believe you would even think such a thing."
His eyes narrowed.
"So you did not go to meet that bandit?"
He ducked as another ornament was hurled at his head.
Magnus suddenly felt very uncertain of his ground. He'd never seen her
like this before. He could not believe it was an act. The cold knot
that had lodged in his, chest slowly started to loosen.
"So where did you get to in those eight days?" he said slowly.
"None of your business," she snapped.
"It is my business. I am your husband. Where you go concerns me."
"Oh, does it indeed? And you wish me to account for every moment, do
you? Well, I am sorry to disoblige you, but I will not explain my
every movement to a horrid, suspicious beast who believes I am... I
am..." She sniffed, and blew her nose defiantly into his handkerchief.
"Well, from now on, if you cannot find me you will just have to assume
I am off cavorting with a lover, preferably some unshaven criminal."
Her voice quivered with hurt and outrage.
Magnus stared at her. He could not bring himself to believe that she
was not completely and utterly genuine. She had not betrayed him. No
one could be that skilled an actress. Relief swamped him. He took
several steps towards her. She snatched another ornament off the shelf
and held it up in an unmistakable threat.
"I believe Carlotta's late husband gave that to her on their last
wedding anniversary," he murmured mendaciously.
She glanced at it in sudden shock and guiltily bit her lip. Hesitantly
she put the ornament down. He took another step towards her and she
moved instantly away.
"Don't come near me, Magnus," she warned. She was like a wary woodland
creature, mistrustful, poised to run.
Magnus took a deep breath. There was no alternative. He would have to
do what he had sworn he would never do. Break the rule of a lifetime.
"I thought... I was--' He dashed his hand through his hair and took
another deep breath.
"I was worried about you, and then when I went to that church and found
you had been there days before..." He found it hard to meet her eyes
and had to force himself to look at her.
"I didn't know where you were. I only knew you weren't with me--where you
belong. "
He walked over to the window and stood there, fiddling with a fringed
curtain. He turned and met her eyes, his face sombre and vulnerable.
"I was... I was jealous. I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
Tallie's lip quivered. Her eyes fixed him with painful intensity,
searching for the truth in his face.
The moment stretched, interminably. Magnus could hear nothing but the
thudding of the heart in his chest and the thin, high cry of some
far-off bird soaring on the wind. He had accused her of the vilest
conduct. Would she, could she forgive him? Or forget? He thought he
might be able to forgive her, in similar circumstances, but doubted
whether he could ever forget. Trust, once shattered, was not easily
mended. Who understood that better than he?
"You were jealous?" she whispered at last.
He nodded.
"Oh, Magnus," she cried, and" flung herself into his arms.
Chapter Fifteen
After a time Magnus woke. The late afternoon sun streamed
through the open shutters, spreading golden oblongs of warmth over the
walls and the bed. He lay there, savouring the moment. His wife lay
warm and relaxed against his chest, her body curled against him like a
small, sensuous cat. He reached down and gently lifted one of her
hands and examined it. Four smooth ovals, just one slightly ragged
end--her little finger. He laid the ragged nail gently against his
mouth.
She stirred.
"Magnus?" she said sleepily, and smiled. "Love you."
Still with her eyes closed she turned her cheek and began planting
small sleepy kisses over his chest. Magnus closed his eyes, as if in
pain. It all came so easily to her. It was these times when he felt
the most vulnerable and uncertain. Bed sports he understood--he was
experienced, in control; he knew what to do, how to give pleasure and
how to gain it.
But this. this intimacy. when affection simply poured from her, and
small clumsy kisses filled him with a piercing sweetness. He felt on
the edge of. what? The abyss?
It terrified him, yet filled him with a ravenous hunger.
She'd said it again. I love you, Magnus.
They were only words, he told himself. Women used them all the time.
It seemed to come easily to them, too easily. He recalled the times
she'd said it; the first time, when she'd still hardly known him, after
their marriage had been consummated.
And though he'd waited for her to say it again every night since,
dreading it, but waiting for the words with a hunger that had
frightened him, she hadn't.
Not until she'd been about to be taken from him, by that bandit. When
he'd been furious, and terrified for her safety. She had whispered it
then, as she'd kissed him goodbye. I love you, Magnus.
And now, a third time.
Again, after a quarrel. He still didn't know where she'd been for
those eight days. The question burned into him . but he didn't want
to ask. He'd become a coward, too, just like his father. But as long
as she was here, with him, he could tell himself it didn't matter.
Her hands caressed him and he felt his body stir in response. Yes, he
could find oblivion there, sweet oblivion. He rolled over, taking her
with him, and raised himself over her pliant body. She smiled and
stroked his cheek, then lifted her head and kissed him. He tasted the
tender passion in her and groaned. She wriggled under him, smiling
into his eyes, and thrust her body eagerly against him. Magnus needed
no further prompting. He surged into her, and found his sweet
oblivion.
"Signer d'Arenville, Signora Thalia, wake up!" Carlotta banged
furiously on the door.
Magnus swore.
"Wait, I will be with you in a few moments."
"No, it is urgent, signor, very urgent! Please, signer, open the
door!"
Cursing, Magnus threw on a robe, stalked to the door and flung it
open.
"What the devil is all this noise about, Carlotta?"
Carlotta glanced past him to where Tallie sat in bed, the downy quilt
tucked around her naked body.
"Signor, signora, I am so sorry to disturb you but there is news,
terrible news."
Tallie sat up straighter.
"You mean about?"
"No, no, signora. Sorry, but no news about him yet."
Magnus frowned. Him?
Carlotta continued.
"No, this is important news just arrived from Torino. I heard it from
my--' Magnus held up a hand.
"Let me guess. Your cousin's uncle's brother-in-law's niece's
great-aunt's nephew."
Carlotta shot him a look of blank surprise.
"No, signor, I heard it from my neighbour who just got back from
Torino."
Magnus rolled his eyes. Tallie giggled.
"It is war, signor," Carlotta said.
"What?" Magnus was dumbfounded.
"War? Are you certain."
"Very certain, signor. My neighbour said in Torino the streets are
full of soldiers. England and France are once again at war. And we
are at war, too. Napoleon's troops are all over the Piedmonte." She
glanced from him to Tallie and back again.
"You must flee at once, signor. The soldiers are taking foreigners for
questioning."
Magnus swore again.
"He said he passed a troop of soldiers on the road. They will be here
in two hours. They are searching houses on the way. They will most
certainly come here." Carlotta added, a little shamefacedly, "All of
Susa knows of my English visitors."
"We will leave at once," Magnus assured her.
"You have been exceedingly good to us, Carlotta. We would not wish to
cause you trouble."
Carlotta laid an anxious hand on his arm.
"Oh, no, Signer Magnus, it is not myself I am concerned for. I would
not like to see you and Signora Thalia taken by soldiers." She glanced
at Tallie, who had already slipped out of bed and was dressing
quietly.
"Especially with the baby coming. You must hide in the hills until
dusk. It is too dangerous to try for the coast from here--Napoleon has
soldiers all over Piedmonte. And you cannot go back through France. My
nephews will take you into Switzerland. It is arranged."
She turned to leave. Magnus stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Signora... Carlotta," he said.
"You are a ... a queen among women." He took her hand and, bowing,
kissed it lightly.
"Oh, signor." She blushed, flustered.
"One does what one can. Now, I make food for you to take. Pack only
what you can carry. My nephews will you meet after dark, so that no
one will see you leave." She shrugged apologetically.
"Some of my neighbours have no honour. If they do not see, they cannot
tell which way you went. Most will expect you to go south, to the
coast--there are too many soldiers that way, but they do not know
it."
"We will be ready within the hour," Magnus said. Cariotta turned to
leave, then hesitated and turned back, a tiny smile on her face.
"My neighbour said in Torino all is confusion. English ladies are
fainting; the men are in panic." She regarded Magnus and Tallie
proudly.
"Not my English visitors."
Less than two hours later, Magnus and Tallie were sitting on a bundle
of straw in a small shed a mile or so out of town. It belonged to
Carlotta's uncle. They were waiting for John Black, Monique and the
nephews to meet them in the shed after dark. Then they would make
their way to Switzerland. Tallie had bidden Cariotta a tearful
farewell. The two women had embraced, Cariotta whispering assurances
in Tallie's ear that she would keep an ear out for news of her little
brother.
Tallie sat chewing a piece of straw. Magnus glanced down at her
worriedly. She had said very little since they left.
"Don't worry. I won't let any harm come to you," he said softly.
She smiled up at him.
"I know," she said simply.
"I was not worrying about that."
The heavy feeling came into his chest again. She was so trusting and
certain. He wished he could be as certain.
"You never did find out what-I was doing when I didn't come back for
those eight days, did you?" she said at last.
Magnus felt as if a fist had slammed him in the chest. He didn't want
to know--what the hell was she doing, deciding to confess now? He
wanted to get up, to pace around the tiny shed, to change the subject.
He knew from her face it was something dreadful--it had clearly been
weighing on her conscience since she'd arrived back from her mysterious
journey. But he'd already decided he could live with whatever she'd
done--as long as she stayed with him from now on.
"No, but it doesn't matt--' " I was looking for my brother. "
"Your brother?" he said, stunned. Brother? It was the last thing
he'd expected.
"I never knew you had a brother."
"Neither did I, until some years ago--well, actually, I wasn't
absolutely sure of it until a few days ago." She leaned against him
and sighed, and without conscious volition he put his arm around her.
Quietly, without looking at him, she told her story.
'and I wasn't sure whether to believe the letter or not-it was so
incredible--but I couldn't get it out of my mind, and so when we came
here. " She told how she had found her mother's grave, and met a young
priest who had not known her mother but who had recalled the story. He
believed the orphan child had been given to a woman who was childless--
a good woman, a true daughter of the church.
"But the woman's husband died and she went to live with her brother,
who hated the little boy. And then she died and the brother just went
away and left him." Tears sparkled on the ends of Tallie's lashes.
"Left a little boy of only seven years to fend for himself."
Magnus pulled her into his arms and held her tight against his heart.
"The boy died?" he asked gently.
She shook her head.
"No, not that anyone knows of." She looked at him in distress.
"Oh, Magnus, apparently there are children living wild in the mountains
since the war, because no one will take them in. People are too poor
to worry about somebody else's child." She hugged him convulsively.
"It is so utterly dreadful. I wish I could do something, but now here
we are, fleeing from the French and in no position to do anything. I
did so much want to stay and search for my brother." Tears ran down
her cheeks and he kissed them softly away.
"We have to leave, my dear. You know that."
She was silent.
"If not for our own safety, then for this child." He laid his hand on
her stomach and felt the now familiar surge of joy-and of terror. As
far back as he could remember, from the time he was a little boy, he
had always felt alone. Alone in a bleak, cold world. With only a
bleak, cold future ahead of him.
But now there were two people who belonged to him, two people to care
for--and to protect. He had never dreamed it could happen to him,
never dreamed he would be so fortunate. And so grateful. He would
protect her and her unborn child with his life. He drew her head down,
laid his cheek against her hair and simply held her. His throat was
full.
Half an hour later they were joined by John Black, and a few moments
afterwards Monique arrived, a handsome young nephew with her. Then the
rest of the nephews slipped in under cover of darkness, carrying
baggage and bringing mules.
They set off in the moonlight, towards the far mountains glistening
with snow.
"The captain says we shall reach England tomorrow," announced Magnus
joining his wife at the ship's rail.
"He plans to land at the nearest port--some problem with the mast, I
Tallie nodded but did not reply.
"It is a glorious night, is it not?" he said, looking out at the
moon-tossed waves.
"Mmm." His wife nodded. Magnus's arm closed protectively around her,
bracing her against the slight rolling of the ship. They had made
it.
He had brought them to safety. But it seemed that was not enough.
"Look, there are traces of fire-glittering in the water." He pointed
as he spoke.
"Yes."
"It's caused by the movement of the ship."
Tallie nodded again.
"Can you see the luminescent bubbles trailing in our wake?"
"Yes," she murmured.
"Very pretty."
Magnus tried again.
"And all the stars are out, so clear and bright.
Nearly as clear as they were in the mountains. but not as close. I do