Tallie's Knight

by Anna Gracie

  not think we have ever been as close to the stars as we were in the

  mountains. Do you remember when you said it was as if you could truly

  just reach out and touch them? "

  Tallie did not reply. Magnus tightened his grip around her, silently

  willing the return of his eager, excited bride. It was the sort of

  night which would have had her in raptures just a short time ago.

  Tallie sighed.

  "It is difficult to believe so much time has passed... Sometimes it

  feels like it was just a week or so, and at others... a lifetime."

  "It's just over two months," murmured Magnus.

  "But it feels like less, doesn't it?"

  Magnus slipped his free hand under her cloak, laying it on the rounded

  curve of her belly.

  "It feels like more to me."

  Tallie smiled and leaned her head against him.

  "You've coped magnificently, my dear." Magnus pulled her closer. There

  had been times he'd thought he'd never get her home safely.

  The journey had taken much longer than anticipated, and had been much

  more arduous. For when they had reached the Swiss border they had

  discovered that Napoleon had invaded Switzerland as well. There had

  been no alternative but to head into Lombardy, and then east, towards

  the Austrian border. Numerous times they'd had to scramble off the

  road and hide from French soldiers.

  Once over the border, they'd made their way towards Vienna. From there

  they had travelled to Prague, on to Dresden, and thence to Berlin.

  From Berlin they had headed towards the coast, and finally, at Husum,

  in Schleswig-Holstein, they'd managed to secure passage on the packet

  Lark, which was crowded with other fugitives--not only Englishmen and

  women, but others hostile to Napoleon's conquests.

  They had boarded the boat with great relief, only to spend the next two

  anxious weeks at anchor, waiting for a favourable wind. Magnus had

  chafed at the delay. But now, finally, after six days and nights of

  sailing, England lay ahead.

  "You have become a much better sailor, have you not?" Magnus was

  determined to cheer her. He hated to see her so low in spirits.

  She shrugged.

  "I suppose it has something to do with my condition."

  Magnus trailed his knuckles down her cool cheek in a gentle caress.

  "Are you not enjoying this beautiful night, my dear? You are cold,

  perhaps? Would you like to return to your cabin?"

  "No, not at all. You are right, my love--it is a lovely night," said

  Tallie sadly.

  "On such a night one finds it almost impossible to imagine that there

  is such ugliness in this world as war..."

  But she knew there was, because lashed to the deck in front of her,

  secured in oilskin bags, were all the important papers on

  board--passports, regimentals, letters and dispatches. The captain of

  the Lark had ordered them secured out in the open--ready to be tossed

  overboard should the ship be boarded by the French. It was no idle

  threat, because for two days their ship had been pursued by French

  cruisers. On the third night the Lark had managed to slip away.

  And so she was safe. but her little brother was still in danger. Her

  unknown little brother, so much more real to her now than he had been

  when first she had decided to search for him. A bad, merry little boy.

  alone in the mountains. She hoped there were plenty of apples for him

  to steal. but winter was drawing nearer.

  "Oh, I do hope he will be all right."

  Magnus frowned. He knew full well who he was. She'd spoken of him

  almost every day since they had left Carlotta's, just like this--out of

  the blue--indicating how constantly he was in her thoughts.

  He wished there was something he could do about it, but there was

  nothing. He'd racked his brains, over and over. It was his

  unexpressed opinion that the boy was probably dead, but he would rather

  cut off his hand than say so and distress her further. But he could

  not bear to see his vivacious little bride so wan, and his inability to

  do anything about it chafed him unbearably.

  "No doubt one of Carlotta's relatives will find him," he said

  bracingly.

  "They do turn up in the most unexpected places."

  He inclined his head towards the couple standing at the rail near the

  bow of the ship. Monique and Gino--the handsome young nephew who had

  followed them to Switzerland and then Austria. Finally, in Berlin, he

  had convinced Monique to marry him.

  "I hope I won't be obliged to provide homes and jobs for all

  of'Carlotta's relatives," Magnus murmured jokingly in her ear.

  "I doubt even d'Arenville Hall is big enough for them all. "

  Tallie smiled, but it was still a trifle too wistful for his liking.

  Damn it, he wished he could do something.

  It was almost an anticlimax to land at the placid English town of

  Southwold, with its small fleet of sailing boats and its line of little

  bathing boxes arrayed along the beach.

  They found an inn, and Magnus and Tallie entered while John Black went

  to hire a coach and horses. The smell of new- baked bread and roasting

  beef informed them dinner was almost ready. Tallie's stomach rumbled

  as they sat down to table in a private dining room. Magnus smiled.

  "It smells very good, does it not, my dear? At last--fresh bread and

  good honest English beef with no fancy sauces. And plain baked

  potatoes and boiled vegetables." He rubbed his hands.

  "A real pleasure after all that foreign food and our recent rations of

  pickled pork and ship's biscuits."

  Tallie cast him a look of burning reproach.

  "At least we always had plenty to eat. We were never in danger of

  starving."

  Magnus gritted his teeth. It was not his fault they had not been able

  to stay and search for her brother, blast it! And he was getting fed

  up with feeling guilty about it. He had his wife to protect--and her

  unborn child! What did she expect him to do?

  Take a pregnant wife on a wild-goose chase, searching for a child who'd

  been abandoned in the mountains God only knew how long ago! No child

  would have survived that. Even without the added danger of the war, it

  would have been an exercise in heartbreak--and he knew whose heart

  would break. And he was damned if he'd allow it!

  "You cannot prevent your brother starving by starving yourself," he

  said bluntly. "And besides, you have another child to consider."

  "Oh, yes, I am well aware of that!" she retorted, suddenly angry with

  the way he kept trying to divert her from speaking of her brother.

  "A more important child-your child, the heir to the great d'Arenville

  name. Not some poor little lost, half- foreign bastard--' She stopped,

  clapping her hand to her mouth, horrified by what she'd suddenly

  blurted out.

  "A bastard?" said Magnus, frowning.

  "Your brother is a bastard? He is only a half brother, then?"

  "No, he is my brother'." she insisted angrily.

  "I do' not care what Mama may have done, or who his father may have

  been. I do not care a rush for what anyone may say--he is my

  brother!"

&nbs
p; "But-' She pushed her chair back from the table and said bitterly.

  "I planned never to tell you. I knew how it would be. The noble

  family of d'Arenville must never be tainted with such as he."

  She glared at him.

  "Oh, do not bother to deny it, Magnus, I can see from the look on your

  face what you think. That is why I never told you why it was so

  important to me to find my mother's grave, why I went off into the

  mountains to search for him without your permission.

  I knew what you would say, knew you would find some way to prevent me

  finding him. "

  "I was not responsible for the blasted war breaking out again!"

  She waved his objection away.

  "I know that! But even without it you would not have taken me into the hills to search, would you?

  "

  He met her level gaze.

  "No, I probably would not have allowed my pregnant wife to drag herself

  around the mountains on some wild-goose chase--' " Exactly! And if I

  had found him, what then? "

  Magnus hesitated.

  "You would have considered him an embarrassment, wouldn't you?" She

  nodded, as if she had read confirmation in his eyes.

  "I thought as much. You would have sent him away to be hidden from the

  eyes of the world, wouldn't you? Farmed him out with a tenant--the

  more obscure and distant the better, no doubt." She sniffed.

  "And you wonder why I did not tell you."

  She seemed to have it all worked out, he thought dully.

  She thumped her fist on the table.

  "Well, I won't have it. Do you hear me, Magnus? As soon as this

  frightful war is over I will go back there myself and search until I

  have found him. Do you understand? And I will bring him home and we

  will be a family. I do love you, Magnus, but if you do not like it,

  you can... you can disown me!" She burst into tears and fled the

  room.

  Magnus sat there, unmoving, his face stiff and hard. So that was what

  she thought of him, was it? That he would be so shocked by a bastard

  half brother. an unknown bastard half brother who meant more to her

  than and that he valued his family name more than. You can disown

  me. The choice she expected him to make.

  Yes, her news had come as a surprise to him. What man would not be

  shocked? But he had said nothing. nothing to make her think. She

  certainly seemed to feel she understood him well enough to predict his

  reaction. She'd been judge, jury and executioner.

  Would he have predicted her reaction with such complete and utter

  certainty? Yes, he realised ruefully. His wife was nothing if not

  predictable. She was loyal and loving. It was not in her to turn

  her back on anyone who needed her--not a bastard half brother. Not

  even a cold-hearted earl. She still claimed to love him. He still

  found the notion terrifying even though he had come to depend on it

  utterly for his happiness.

  Happiness. Six months ago happiness had been a foreign concept to Lord

  d'Arenville of d'Arenville Hall. As had love. He loved his wife. He

  recognised the truth of it now. He loved her, loved Tallie, with an

  intensity that rocked him to his soul. And he had no way, no words

  with which to tell her.

  The words sounded easy enough, simple enough to say.

  The words came to others so easily--a lie to smooth a path, to get a

  diamond necklace, to flatter, to deceive. He had never been able to

  utter the lie before. Had never expected to wish to.

  But now he loved her.

  And he could not say the words.

  She wouldn't believe him anyway, he decided. Not after what she had

  just revealed. She thought him a cold, proud man, who cared only for

  his family name. Her reading of his character had shocked him, hurt

  him. Because there was an element of truth. She expected him to

  disown her bastard half brother and to force her to do the same. And

  six months ago, before he had met her, he might have. Six months ago

  he would have had every expectation that a wife of his would no more

  acknowledge a foreign-born bastard half brother than walk naked down

  St. James's Street. But that was six months ago.

  A great deal had changed in six months--not the least Lord d'Arenville.

  Magnus drained the tankard of ale at his elbow and called for another.

  He knew what he had to do.

  "That is d'Arenville Hall?" Tallie peered out of the coach window,

  looking up at the imposing edifice with some trepidation. It was

  enormous. A great grey building, heavy with carved, ancient stonework,

  glittering mullioned windows the only sign of life.

  "Your future home, my lady," murmured Magnus behind her.

  Tallie blinked. She could not imagine herself as mistress of such an

  impressive establishment. And as for a small boy who'd been raised by

  Italian peasants. "It ... it's very grand," she said at last, casting

  him a quick glance.

  He still had that. that stony look on his face. He hadn't forgiven

  her for her outburst yet.

  He seemed deeply offended by her desire to provide a home for her

  brother. It upset Tallie to think of it, and she was distressed by his

  coldness towards her, but she had resolved not to give in to him on

  this. Her husband would have to learn to accept that at times she

  could be just as stubborn as he.

  And if she couldn't go into raptures about his home she was sorry. It

  was very difficult to manufacture delight she didn't feel, especially

  difficult when he kept looking at her like that.

  It was her fault, she knew. She had annoyed him with her defiance, and

  he was punishing her with his stiff and starchy manner. But now that

  they'd finally arrived at her husband's home she would have the

  opportunity to mend their differences. Hopefully they would share a

  bed once more. Their differences had a better chance of being sorted

  out there, in her experience. Tallie sighed. It had been a long time.

  She'd had to share her ship's cabin with three other ladies. She

  missed him in her bed most dreadfully. missed the comfort of waking in

  the night, feeling his warm body beside hers, hearing his deep, even

  breathing. It was lonely in bed without him. And since their quarrel

  she felt lonelier than ever.

  The coach drew up on the curved, immaculately raked gravel drive and a

  string of servants poured from the house and lined up.

  "The butler's name is Harris and Mrs. Cobb is the housekeeper. They

  will take their instructions from you," said Magnus gravely. He moved

  solemnly forward, introducing this servant or that. It was all

  horribly formal, Tallie thought, as she received yet another bow and

  curtsy. She walked into the huge marble entry hall. Her steps echoed

  and she shivered.

  "Are you cold?" Magnus enquired with cool solicitude.

  "Harris, please show Lady d'Arenville into the Brown Room. I presume

  you've lit a fire?"

  Harris bowed.

  "Yes, of course, my lord. This way, my lady."

  Tallie was ushered to the Brown Room. It was enormous and gloomy, for

  the windows were shrouded with heavy brown velvet curtains. The room

  was stuf
fed with large, ornate, heavy items of furniture. Tallie

  wrinkled her nose. Everything upholstered in the same horrid dark

  brown. She wandered over to the fire, having to step around no fewer

  than three occasional tables, two embroidered fire screens and a

  settee. The room was immaculately clean, but she felt stifled. She

  thought instantly of the little peasant cottage in the mountains of

  Piedmonte and its cosy simplicity. She pushed the thought out of her

  mind with a pang of regret. There was no use in her worrying about her

  brother just now. This was her new home and she needed to accustom

  herself to the fact. Besides, she had fences to mend with her husband.

  A few minutes later Magnus entered, followed by Mrs. Cobb, the housekeeper.

  "Are you warm now?" he asked. Tallie nodded.

  "Then Mrs. Cobb will show you to your room. You will wish to rest.

  I've ordered a tray sent up for your dinner," he informed her.

  No, Tallie wanted to cry, I do not wish to rest. I want you to show me

  your home and introduce me to all your favourite haunts. I want you to

  tell me stories of when you were a little boy growing up here, so that

  I may learn to love this hideous mausoleum. I want things to be normal