Cold Love

by Amieya Prabhaker

  “Interesting thought Riya!”

  “No seriously Arjun, I know you are doing so much already, but can’t you end this war forever? I want it this war to end. I get so scared for you, Arjun.”

  Riya instinctively embraces Arjun again. When she does get out of the embrace this time, there’s a marked air of uneasiness, as her quivering lips lie dangerously close at a lock in distance to Arjun’s.

  Arjun looks straight into her eyes, “Are you still angry with me Riya?”

  “What if I say I am? What will you do for me?”

  “Anything.”

  “Anything? Promise?” Riya echoes back as if to confirm and extends her little finger out.

  “Yes, anything….. I’ll do it for you Riya. Promise!” He laughs and clips his little finger onto hers.

  “Ok remember that promise then… if I ask for something in the future, do not shy away.”

  Suddenly they hear footsteps by the door and they start walking back to the lobby. Riya follows Arjun as they eventually join the family in the living room. In another few minutes, Arjun decides to call it a night and walks off to his room.

  Does the smooch herald the start of a new relationship? Arjun thinks about his grandma’s golden bangles that his mum has given Riya. He could sense the reason why but felt uneasy about what their parents expect.

  Arjun starts to feel uneasy; he is not ready to get into a relationship. The call of duty demands extreme dedication and he cannot commit to a relationship that chains him or ends in disaster and heartbreak. At the end of the Mumbai operation, who knows which part of the world he could be in: some inhospitable location in the Middle East, Africa or Europe?

  Arjun could feel himself getting torn as if in a torture chamber with two chains pulling him in opposite direction. There is an easy way out; Shanti and Kamla definitely see the exchange of these gifts as a token of mutual acceptance for their kids. Those beautiful golden bangles were a heritage being passed on to the new generation. The festive occasion of Puja’s engagement had set the tone for the families to anticipate Arjun and Riya to follow the same route soon.

  But it’s the tougher route that Arjun has to tread upon… his life as a RAW official will smother and kill Riya’s love and emotions. And he cannot let that happen.

  “My work comes first,” Arjun reminds himself …again and again.

  Information and Intelligence

  The clock on Arjun’s desk shows 2:55am. The party ended an hour ago and Arjun continued to work on his computer, while others were still chatting downstairs. Suddenly, his mobile starts ringing and he picks it up immediately.

  “Ok. I will login right away.”

  He shuts the door first, logs into the secure RAW system and turns on his video conference unit.

  The director of RAW has called upon his trusted aides for an emergency conference. “Hello gentlemen. Do we have everyone onboard? Ok, I will keep it brief. Firstly, thanks to everyone for dialing in at short notice. This update has come from the army chief. As you know tensions at the LOC have escalated. It’s nothing new; the army is dealing with it and we do not expect our department to be engaged directly at the front. However, we have been advised to be on high alert and ready for the call of duty at any time. What does that mean on the ground? Technically you don’t do anything different. We always know where our agents are located, even if you are working in covert operations. I just wanted this conference to tell everyone that if the department needs you, we will reach out to you and you should be ready for any mission.”

  Another senior officer on the conference responds, “That goes without saying, sir! All of us are always ready for our country anytime, anywhere!”

  “Good. That’s the response I was expecting. Any questions?” He pauses for a moment, “Excellent! Krish and Arjun, can you stay on for a few minutes? I want to talk to you a little longer. For the rest, Jai Hind!”

  The video conference shows multiple contacts signing off as Krish and Arjun stay back. “Krish. Please brief all your leads in special operations. We are looking for any clue whatsoever that will give us information about their next move. We are getting hints that they may act rashly and respond very soon. If it is an increased firing across the border, the army will handle it, but if it’s any covert action we need to be ready for it.”

  “Yes, sir!”

  “Arjun, I want you to lie low; as you have been critical to this case, you need to be on high security alert... watch out for any suspicious activities around you.”

  “Yes sir! You don’t have to worry about me!”

  “Good. Thank you gentlemen. That’s all for now! Good night and over and out!”

  Arjun closes the video conference program but doesn’t shut the laptop yet. He continues to check out the secure RAW system, trying to reconcile all the thoughts of the day. It’s sure been one heck of an eventful day… from the dud bomb at the dam to the fruitful event of his little sister’s engagement. He relaxes back a bit, closing his eyes. Immediately he can see the beautiful images of Riya from earlier in the day, in his arms at the dam and then on top of him when they locked lips after their mini tussle. He sighs deeply. He couldn’t help relish the moments of their dance together during the party, and the incident at the tennis game. Phew! Things have moved fast between them over the last few days. And all the emotions bubbling between them for several months culminated in that dramatic smooch.

  When Arjun opened his eyes, he was staring at the map on the RAW website. This was a detailed map of India and its neighboring countries, and was titled - “Personnel Geo-Intelligence Network Map”. Arjun types in “Riya Saxena” into the search box and hits the search button. The screen comes up with several records on the right side of the panel, Arjun chooses one, reading the description. Immediately, several green dots appear on the map section, showing locations. As the screen scrolls one red box pops up, coinciding with a red pin on the map location. And a second red icon pops up immediately after.

  Arjun leans forward on the chair, intrigued. The RAW system provides geo-intelligence about agents and individuals involved in notable operational activities. Arjun clicks the first red pop up box in the panel on the right. The screen zooms to the map of Afghanistan, with one female and two male figures on the Bamyan region in central Afghanistan. Arjun clicks for further details, curious as to how or when Riya went to Afghanistan. The screen from the RAW system reads:

  “Personnel: Riya Saxena, 26 F, Civilian, co-location with Azhar Mahmud, 32 M, Head of Al Khayad group, and Undercover RAW agent.

  Location: Bamyan and Band-e-Amir National Park.

  Nature of Operations: Hostage rescue.”

  “Hostage rescue!? Hmmm…” Arjun clicks and reviews further data about Riya to assure himself he is looking at the right Riya. He then goes on to click the second red pop up in Mumbai. It shows four male and one female icons. Arjun hovers over for details-

  “Personnel: Riya Saxena, 26 F, Civilian, co-location with Arjun Sinha, 28 M, RAW Head of Strategic Intelligence Wing, Mohammad Khan, 42 M, ISI Lieutenant, Undercover RAW Agent 1, Undercover RAW Agent 2.”

  Arjun clicks on icons for both the RAW agents but a system message pops up- “Access denied. You do not have the clearance for this information”. He clicks on the icon for the undercover RAW agent on the Afghanistan map, but receives the same message.

  The first undercover agent in the Mumbai operation was obviously Vinod Shukla, who was killed, but who was the second agent, whose details Arjun could not access? And how did Riya meet Azhar Mahmud in Afghanistan? Arjun, perplexed, clicked on the female figure again to verify the information. The message read:

  “Name: Riya Saxena, 26 F

  Service/Civilian: Civilian

  Combat skills: None.

  Specialized Arms Training: None.

  Additional skills: Gymnastics.

  Strategic Risk rating: Low”

  Suddenly there’s a knock on his bedroom door as Arjun hears Kamla’s voice, “Arjun b
eta. Are you still awake?”

  Arjun shuts his laptop immediately and checks his watch; it’s already past 3:30am. He opens the door.

  “What are you doing beta? You didn’t go to sleep yet?”

  “I was about to mum. How about Puja…is she asleep?”

  “Yes, Puja and Riya kept talking after the party. I had to force them to go to sleep. They’ve both gone to sleep just now in Puja’s room. It has been a long day, beta... I am so happy. Our little doll has grown up and is going to get married soon!” She hugs Arjun smiling, content with motherly affection. Arjun smiles back, immensely happy with the ceremony as well.

  However, his mind is filled with doubts that he needs to clarify first. He wants to speak to Riya immediately. On second thoughts, tonight was not the right time, nor the occasion. Perhaps he will carry out some investigations in headquarters the first thing in the morning before speaking to Riya.

  Arjun knew the significance of information in his field of work. The right piece of information at the right time was the most crucial weapon for intelligence agencies. He needed to gather that intelligence as quickly as possible to clear the unknowns before determining his next move.

  Exploring and Resolving Unknowns

  The next morning, Arjun left for the department by 6am. After the events of last night, Riya had decided that the time was ripe to talk to Arjun. The sexual chemistry between them was too overwhelming for her to endure any longer. She would have preferred to hear it from Arjun first, but in today’s day and age, girls should not be embarrassed to talk of their feelings first.

  Had the circumstances been normal, she would have gone ahead today to proclaim her love. However, Riya knew that love has to wait.

  “There are more important things in life than love,” Riya tries to convince herself, as she debates her dilemma. She wanted to talk to Arjun about the neutron missiles. Just as she was lost in her thoughts, she receives a call on her mobile that she picks up hurriedly.

  “Hello… Yes, I was thinking of calling you. … Yes, yesterday turned out quite well. I think Arjun is ready… Ok… I will find some excuse to raise the topic and discuss about the missiles… Yes, I will try to reason with him today when he is alone. Ok bye.”

  It wasn’t until 11am when Riya saw Arjun’s convertible drive through the compound gates. He parked awkwardly right in the middle in front of the garage doors. Riya rushed out of her room to catch up with him, although she was still nervous about choosing the right words to convey what she wanted to say. As Riya entered the house, her plans were thrown awry by what she saw happening. She heard loud voices from the living room and saw Puja rushing down the stairs to find out what the commotion was about. Both move together and look into the room unnoticed, as it seems a big argument was going on, with Mr. Sinha shouting at the top of his voice at Arjun and Kamla.

  “Have you heard about the behavior of your darling son?! Will you ask him why he beat Banerjee on the streets? Shameful! His behavior is that of a roadside ruffian. And that lawyer; he has filed a Rs. 5 lakh suit for compensation! And your prince didn’t bother telling us about it? Disgusting!”

  Kamla is completely confused, “Beta, what is all this?”

  “Arjun, will you bother telling us why you hit Banerjee so badly on the streets?”

  “I am sorry Papa; I can’t tell you!” Arjun responds in a calm composed tone, with his head bowed down.

  “What do you mean you can’t tell me?” Mr. Sinha, shouts louder this time, finally losing his patience upon Arjun’s repeated denial to share any information.

  Kamla tries to pacify him, “Please calm down jee!”

  “What calm down! You can’t imagine what it felt like when I heard it from five different people this morning! And I used to be so proud of my son! Look at your son Kamla; looks like power and achievement has gone to his head! Disgusting!”

  “Papa please trust your son. I have not done anything wrong!”

  “What should I trust, son? Arjun, just tell me what it was all about?”

  “Sorry Papa”, Arjun shakes his head. “I can’t tell you of this instance!” At that moment Arjun notices Puja and Riya peeping from behind the door.

  Arjun’s continued denial of information has infuriated Mr. Sinha further; suddenly, he raises his hand in fury to hit him, “Tell me Arjun!”

  “Uncle!” Riya shouts at that very instant, as Puja simultaneously screams as well from the door, “Papa!” Kamla intervenes immediately to hold her husband’s hand.

  “What are you doing jee? Raising a hand on your young son!”

  Both Riya and Puja walk inside as Riya speaks up, realizing that Arjun is trying to conceal the fact that Banerjee had humiliated Riya in court, which led to the fight with Banerjee outside the school.

  “Uncle, it’s not Arjun’s fault.”

  “Riya, you stay out of it!” Arjun immediately tries to shush Riya.

  “Riya, you were at the school when this happened, isn’t it? What was it about?” Kamla enquires, obviously extremely concerned about the incident that was kept a secret from everyone else.

  Arjun desperately tries to keep Riya out of it, “Riya you won’t say anything. This is between me and dad. You don’t need to get into this!”

  “Arjun! Riya is our daughter too… she is family!” Kamla scolds Arjun for using such a harsh tone with Riya. Everyone looks at Riya, expecting a response from her.

  “Uncle, it’s not Arjun’s fault. It was all because of me and all the horrible things that lawyer Banerjee said about me in the court.”

  She is about to continue further when Arjun starts walking out of the room.

  Mr. Sinha is infuriated, and shouts at him, “Arjun! Arjun!”

  “Arjun beta!” Kamla rushes after him but Arjun doesn’t stop for his mum.

  “Did you see that Kamla! Undisciplined brat!”, he shouts out in anger at Arjun, “Get out from my house and don’t return back!”

  “Uncle, please don’t be angry with him. I’ll bring him back and I’ll tell you everything. It’s not his fault Uncle. I’ll come right back.” Riya runs after Arjun, finds him in the garage, punching a boxing bag hanging from the ceiling. While walking towards him she improvises her strategy on the fly; no longer can she talk to Arjun about the neutron missiles today. He is too smart and will sense an out-of-context conversation immediately, when the flavor of the day has completely changed now.

  “Arjun! What is this? Please come back!”, Riya approaches Arjun with a determined look. Arjun continues to punch the bag; one of the shots just misses Riya as she dodges it by a couple of inches. “Look, let me tell uncle everything. He is needlessly getting angry at you.”

  Arjun stops the bag, “You will not say anything to him about the incident or the court hearing.”

  “How can I not say anything? Please try to understand. Come with me and we will tell him everything”. She pulls Arjun’s hand but he shrugs her off. “Uff! Why don’t you understand Arjun, he is your dad! Look how angry he is and it’s all without a cause!”

  “Go on tell him! What do you want to share with him?” Arjun shouts back, “Tell him all the lovely details! He will be really happy, isn’t it?!” He claps his hands in a gesture of mockery in his rage. “He will compliment me. Well done, son! Waah! The girl who did so much for you and for the department… what did I give back to her? Sure! … Go on, tell him everything.”

  “Arjun please! Don’t say that! I don’t care what he said in the court… What does that lawyer mean to us… but I care about you… and about uncle!”

  Arjun isn’t convinced. He takes his boxing gloves off and walks off to sit on his motorbike at the other end of the garage and starts it with a swift kick. Riya shouts inaudibly as Arjun revs up the engine loudly.

  “Arjun please! Will you listen to me?”

  Riya continues shouting at him. Arjun revs the bike further as Riya’s words disappear in the noise. Eventually he takes off the stand, puts the bike in first gear and drives away
with a loud screeching noise, leaving behind a cloud of exhaust smoke. Riya coughs trying to clear the smoke with her hand, and gradually walks back disappointed at Arjun’s indifference.

  Over the next hour she painstakingly describes to everyone all that had happened at the court on that eventful day and thereafter the saga over the coming few days that followed. Kamla hugs Riya, wiping away her tears reassuringly.

  Mr. Sinha picks up the phone immediately to call Arjun. A continuous ringing eventually lands into voicemail as Arjun does not pick up the phone.

  “Beta, can you please message him?” he instructs Puja, “Tell him, we are not angry with him and trust him in everything.”

  Puja picks up the phone and texts Arjun. She tries calling him again, but without any response.

  The day speeds past; a lovely sunny day morphing into an orange late afternoon sky. Arjun, somewhere far away, was sitting on a hill looking at the distant sun on the horizon, contemplating his next move. He had a lot on his mind that he had not told anyone about, most significantly the new information he had gathered today in the department.

  Back home everyone was at the lunch table, sipping their afternoon tea.

  “Still no response from Arjun?! He is angry. Your son after all!” Kamla stares at Mr. Sinha, complaining, “Why did you have to scold my son this way?”

  Puja had already checked all his known whereabouts. After leaving the department, he didn’t go to any of his friends, or any place that Puja could think of.

  “I don’t know where my son is! I don’t even know if he had lunch or not!” Kamla continues in her concerned tone. “Are you happy now?”

  “Kamla, how would I know about it?” Mr. Sinha reacts in his defense, “I am his father too; I am also concerned about him.”

  Suddenly Riya thinks about the place where Arjun had taken her after the party the day before yesterday.