The Misplacement of Lexi Robinson

by Ky Tyrand

  She needed shelter. It didn’t just rain here, it poured. Lexi needed to build a roof. And possibly move the fire under it.

  The girl needed to protect herself. There were zombies and dragons out there. And without the Imperative Rod, she would be in constant danger.

  And, just like Parma told her, Lexi needed to get stronger. After struggling to climb trees, row the boat, and fight Miss Pirate Cove, Lexi knew that her friend was right. She would need to be strong enough to fight the zombies. Ultimately, Lexi would need access to the beach if she ever hoped to be rescued. She needed a signal fire that would be visible from the sea as well as the air.

  That brought her back to the food. She needed as much of it as she could find. Not just to get her body strong, but to keep her head clear as well. Lexi would have to find a way to build her strength without burning more calories than she could bring in.

  It was a long list, and Lexi wasn’t sure exactly where to start. It seemed like every item should be at the top of the list, but she narrowed it down to either making a water bottle, or building a fire.

  As the thought of rubbing sticks together for hours seemed like way more effort that she was ready for at the moment, Lexi started with the water bottle. The deciding factor was an idea she had about not wasting any steps. She didn’t want to fight her way in and out of the bamboo forest any more than necessary, so Lexi planned on setting her trap, getting cleaned up, and filling her water bottle all in one trip.

  And the sooner she setup her fish trap, the better. Especially if it took her all day to start a fire. Her trap could be catching fish while she got frustrated with the sticks.

  It seemed like an efficient plan, so Lexi got up and went to work.

  According to her calculations, it was precisely two million times more difficult to make a bamboo water bottle without an Imperative Rod, than with one. If Miss Pirate Cove hadn’t offered up her dagger, it would be next to impossible. Though the knife wasn’t heavy enough to chop through thick culms, she was able to use the blade to patiently whittle away the circumference of the wood. And this time she left some extra space below the bottom node so that she could attach a strap underneath if she wanted to; something Prototype Water Bottle 1A was lacking.

  Putting holes through the layers of nodes would be tricky without the Imperative Rod. Lexi had an idea that she thought might work, but the tools she needed were out by the water.

  So the girl gathered the gear that she figured she would need, including the clothes and boots. Despite having hung them up to dry, she wanted to clean them again and get any remaining sand and chapped zombie skin out of them.

  Not wanting to step foot out of her fort without being fully armed, she considered bringing the oar. But it would be awkward enough getting through Bamboo Lane with all of the other items, so she settled on the knife as her only means of defense.

  Lexi wriggled through the narrow path to the end, but before removing the last barricade, she pulled out the spyglass for a clear look. From now on, her trips outside of Lexi’s Castle would be careful and calculated.

  Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

  Everything seemed quiet.

  Lexi removed the cross-piece and listened again, before creeping out a little farther.

  She put the telescope back to her eye.

  All looked clear.

  Man, Braidbeard’s Tree is getting BIG.

  Lexi snuck to the edge of the water.

  Waited.

  Listened.

  No signs of any zombies as far as she could see up and down the creek.

  The dragon didn’t seem to be flying overhead.

  Lexi went straight to work reassembling her fish trap. She found the same rock that she had used as a hammer, and tapped all the pegs in, stopping at the last one when she remembered why she’d planned to finish the water bottle out here. It was for the use of one of the fish trap stakes, and her rock hammer. She stood them end for end, and used the point of the smaller bamboo to tap a hole into the top node.

  It mushed the point down a bit, but went through. The stake was the perfect length to perforate all of the chambers, right down to the bottom.

  Just like that, Lexi had herself a new water bottle.

  The girl took a break, and watched and listened, fearful that her tapping might have drawn some attention. But everything seemed quiet, except for the birds and monkeys which screeched and chattered in the distance.

  Confident that all was fine, Lexi finished the trap, putting the last stake in and weaving them together for strength before tossing some leaves in and capping it all with a roof of branches.

  All that was left was to wash the sand and zombie off herself and her clothes. The cool water felt great on all her cuts, bruises, and sore muscles. Lexi wanted to stay and soak for a while, but she knew that it wasn’t the right time or place. From now on, she had to be on high-alert at all times.

  So she cleaned her wounds to the best of her ability, and rinsed her clothes as quickly as she could. All the while she eyed a glistening patch of water just a little downstream, where the only sliver of sunlight that could weave its way through the canopy hit the surface and sent shimmering reflections every which way.

  The temptation was too great. Lexi took a chance and crept down the creek, bringing only the dagger and telescope. It looked too good to be true – a trap, just like her fish gazebo – so she took a moment to pause and listen, using the lens to spy any areas of the jungle that appeared the least bit suspicious.

  Satisfied that she had nothing to fear, Lexi stepped into the rays of light and let them warm her to her bones. She held her hands out to the sides and soaked in every bit of sunshine that she could, while thinking of Parma and wishing that she could be here with her.

  Okay. Enough of that. This is how good people get eaten by bad zombies.

  Lexi turned to leave when a streak of light on the creek bed startled her. Her heart tried to leap out of her throat, and she found herself looking for any sign of danger. The girl had no choice but to laugh at herself when she realized it was just the sunlight passing through the spyglass …

  Whoa. Lexi jumped into action when an idea crossed her mind, spurred by something she’d seen on Survivor. One of the contestants used his glasses and a few drops of water to make an Ant Death Ray Beam to start a fire.

  She didn’t have her glasses – but she had a telescope. That had to be better, right?

  It was.

  After scurrying around gathering every bit of dried tinder she could find, Lexi held her palm – filled with twigs, dried leaves, and fuzzy crap she’d found on the side of a tree – into the sunlight with the spyglass above it.

  Wrong end.

  She flipped the telescope over and lifted it up to just … the right … spot …

  The light focused into a laser like pinpoint, and her tinder bundle began to smoke almost instantly.

  Lexi could feel the heat in her hand. She had been holding her breath, and just happened to let it out the moment she saw smoke. That unintentional breeze was all it took for a flame to burst into the palm of her hand.

  “Hah!” Lexi chuckled with excitement, and then ran to find somewhere to put her bundle of fire before it burned her hand. She hadn’t thought beyond the tinder pile, and didn’t have any wood ready, or anywhere to set the blaze. But she wasn’t about to let it go out, so she raced through the bamboo maze to her fire pit and began breaking up any little bamboo ends she could find. Apart from the dagger, Lexi didn’t have any way to chop her lumber pile down into firewood. But she snatched the most suitable looking chunks she could find, and worked the flames up into the best fire ever.

  YAY!

  She would need to go back to the creek and gather everything she’d left behind, and scrounge up some better wood, but getting a fire going … this was a win!

  27

  Everything was far more difficult without the Imperative Rod. Especially getting firewood and building a shelter.


  After having expected the fire to take all day just to light, Lexi found herself scrambling to find enough wood to keep it going.

  She had her bamboo lumber pile, but no longer had an easy way to cut it. Besides, she preferred not to use it. Being hollow and strong, it was great for building things, but not ideal for the fire. There was plenty in her pile, but Lexi had plans for most of it. Numero uno being a shelter.

  The girl quickly hung up the clothes on the tripod, and leaned up the water beside the fire.

  Her plan was to head out into the jungle to gather some better wood. She knew there were enough dry branches and deadfall in the area to sustain her fire indefinitely. The trick was retrieving it without getting eaten.

  Lexi didn’t intend on going far from home base, but she needed to be prepared for a fight. The oar had been a good weapon for keeping a bit of distance between herself and Miss Pirate Cove. All it needed was a little tuning up. With that thought in mind, she sat down with the dagger in hand and the oar across her lap.

  After a few minutes of whittling, Lexi stood the pole on end to examine her creation. She’d carved the end of the paddle to a point, and shaved the edges into sharp blades.

  What was once an oar was now a spear.

  A Zombie Prong.

  Satisfied that she would be adequately armed to stave off an attack, Lexi suited up with her pants, boots, vest and gloves. They were still more than a little damp, but she was getting used to not being comfortable.

  After strapping the dagger to her thigh, and the spyglass to her new, smaller belt – wait: One last adjustment. With the tip of her dagger, Lexi drilled a hole through the belt so that she could tighten it to fit her waist. Much better – she was ready to head out.

  Everywhere she went, Lexi found herself subconsciously calculating her best escape route if she were to suddenly be attacked. Her plan was always to make a beeline for her fort. But she’d found the pirate zombies were capable of being stealth ninjas when they wanted to be. Being cut off from the safety of the bamboo forest was a real possibility.

  With that thought in mind, the girl kept an eye out for other avenues of escape, while trying to get a feel for the neighborhood.

  With Braidbeard’s Tree out front of her doorstep, Lexi was confident that she would always be able to find her way back. Even blind in the dark she couldn’t walk by it without getting tripped up by the roots. The question was: how quickly would she be able to get there with zombies in-between and dragons dive-bombing her from above?

  The better Lexi knew her way around, the more options she would have in an emergency.

  The girl quickly discovered that gathering wood was hard work.

  It would be a LOT easier if I hadn’t lost the stupid Imperative Rod. Just sayin’.

  After a few unsuccessful attempts at trying to break sticks in half by leaning them up and stomping on them – only to launch her feathery body back like she’d been double-bounced on a trampoline – Lexi discovered a way of wedging them between two trees and pulling them until they snapped. It worked surprisingly well.

  But it was noisy. Sure to draw the attention of every zombie in the jungle.

  And it did.

  At least two of them, anyway.

  She saw them lumbering up the creek, pausing only to sniff the air, before turning toward her.

  Crap. Time to go.

  The girl had found a good trail right beside camp that skirted the edge of the creek, but she would have to get down into the water with them in order to reach her fort. She had a good pile of wood already, so she scooped up an armload and ran.

  They sped up their pace, threatening to head her off.

  Lexi was confident that she could beat them, though. She would drop her firewood if she had to.

  Nearing the end of the trail, Lexi halted before reaching the water, suddenly re-considering her plan.

  She found herself questioning the logic of going back to her fort.

  It was great that she had a place where she could feel safe and protected, especially at night. But did she really want to lead these creatures right to it?

  Then what?

  She would be trapped there.

  And what if these two started making noise outside of her apartment, would it lure the others until she was surrounded? It wouldn’t be a safe place if she couldn’t step outside for food, or water, or firewood … or sunshine.

  It was then that Lexi decided there was truly only one option if she stood any chance of surviving in this place:

  Kill them.

  All of them, one by one, until the entire jungle and beach were cleared.

  No matter how badly Lexi wanted to be away from this place, it was her home for the time being. Until she found a way out of here. And she didn’t want to spend every single moment terrified of these monsters.

  The girl now knew what had to be done.

  She just needed to figure out how to do it.

  28

  Lexi’s mind raced as the two zombies approached. They sped up after catching her scent.

  She looked back down the trail, wondering what was behind her. She had to be sure that she wasn’t going to get cornered.

  The foliage was dense, but there was access to the creek in several places.

  She needed to take advantage of her surroundings.

  Her experience with Miss Pirate Cove taught her that fighting these things wasn’t going to be easy. Lexi had gotten lucky during that fight, and needed every advantage she could get.

  These two were men. Larger and stronger than the woman, but not as big as either of the Beards. She’d had the Imperative Rod when she fought Black and Braid, and even Longbelt. Now all Lexi had was a wooden spear and a knife.

  At least she felt stronger today, despite the beatings she’d taken the day before.

  If Lexi could lure the pirate zombies onto the trail, maybe she could fight them one at a time.

  She jogged to the end of the trail, where it met the water at the lowest point.

  “C’mon, White-eyes,” she taunted, “Come get some!”

  The monsters groaned as they tromped to the shore, teeth sharp and claws ready to tear.

  They were close to one another. That was kind of good. It meant that they would both enter the trail together, and neither of them would follow along the waterway and get behind her.

  Lexi hadn’t dropped her armload of wood, yet. She was about to toss it aside when Zombie Number One, a tall lean man who might have been handsome once, tripped on a root that ran across the trail. He caught himself, recovering his balance quicker than Lexi thought he might. But it was enough to give her an idea – and a reminder: she had to keep an eye out behind her, or she could get tripped up herself, or back right into the hands of another zombie.

  She noticed Number Two – a stocky bald man with thick arms and a nasty scar on his face – who’d fallen in line behind Number One, get tripped up on the same root.

  When Number One growled and charged at her, Lexi threw her armload of sticks on the ground in front of him. He faltered to the side, just for a moment, like he’d twisted an ankle.

  Lexi lashed out with her spear.

  It caught him in the eye.

  The placement couldn’t have been better. Except that when she tried to pull it out, her Zombie Prong didn’t want to let go.

  It was stuck in his eye socket.

  Crap!

  She didn’t want to pry too aggressively for fear of it breaking – after all, it was only wood – but she needed it out for the double-tap, and to use on Scarface.

  Number One stopped moving.

  Lexi jerked her spear back and it finally came out with a pop.

  No double-tap needed!

  Scarface tried to get past Tall Dark and Dead, but the trail was tight in that spot, and his companion was already showing signs of sprouting roots.

  Lexi speared at Scarface as he reached for her, but he kept moving at the last second, and she never seemed to get a clea
n strike. He suddenly burst past his partner, catching Lexi by surprise.

  She let out a chirp that she wasn’t the least bit proud of as she frantically tried to jab at him.

  He kept bulling forward, oblivious to her attempts at stabbing him.

  Lexi shuffled back, but Scarface was getting way too close for comfort.

  The girl swore she wasn’t going to fall on her back again like a horror movie scream-queen, but lumps in the ground, rocks, and exposed tree roots tried to trip her up with every shuffle of her feet.

  She had to turn away from him.

  She had to run.

  Lexi scampered through the jungle like a rabbit fleeing from a fox.

  She could hear Scarface tramping through the jungle behind her.

  Not gaining ground, but at a steady pace. Zombies weren’t supposed to move that fast. Even the tree-turning-into kind.

  The girl considered trying to lose him. With my luck I would lose myself. Or run headlong into another zombie.

  She ducked under a low branch, wondering how much trouble Scarface would have with it.

  Very little.

  But an idea came to her, spurred on by her stick breaking method.

  It’ll never work.

  Lexi took hold of the branch and pulled it back

  She could hear the monster marching up the trail toward her.

  Scarface would have to get close enough to grab her …

  If this doesn’t work, I’m toast.

  Lexi felt partly camouflaged behind the branch. Not completely.

  The heavy footsteps were getting closer.

  She could see him through the leaves.

  He stopped, just shy of the mark.

  Smelling the air. Smelling her.

  He turned, looked down at her. Took one more step.

  Lexi let go of the branch.

  It smacked him in the face, distracting him. Only for a moment.

  That was all Lexi needed.

  She snatched up the Zombie Prong and heaved it right up under his chin.

  29

  Scarface froze as she yanked out her spear. Another one that didn’t need a double-tap.