The Gift of Goodbye

by Kleven, M. Kay

  To my surprise, Thomas walked in holding Savannah’s hand as Beth and Ashley stood at his side. “I’d like you to meet our new daughter, Savannah Walker,” Thomas said.

  I ran over and knelt down to hug Savannah.

  “Nice to meet you, Miss Savannah Walker,” I said with a big smile on my face. “I can’t wait for your party tomorrow to celebrate you and your new family.”

  “I can’t wait for the party, either,” Savannah said, smiling from ear to ear. “Beth, Ashley, and I are going to bake this big heart-shaped cake today and then Ashley and I are going to frost the cake with this white fluffy frosting and shake sugar sprinkles in pink, green, blue, purple, and yellow all over it.”

  “Wow! Does that ever sound like fun. Is there anything I can do to help?” I said, glancing up at Beth.

  “No. Just come and have fun helping us welcome Savannah into our family,” Beth replied.

  “I’ll be there, so will Mara. Would you like her to paint faces at your party like she did at the hospital, Savannah?”

  “That would be great! I was too sad at the hospital, but now I’m happy and know exactly what I would like to have her paint on my face. It’s a secret, though.”

  “A secret, huh? I’ll have Mara bring her paints with us tomorrow, then.”

  “We have to go bake a cake,” Beth said with a wink. “But, we’ll see you tomorrow at the party.”

  “I’ll be there. Bye Beth, Ashley, and Savannah.”

  As soon as the Emporium closed for the day, Mara and I went shopping for gifts for Savannah. We wanted to buy something for Ashley, too, so she didn’t feel left out. Ashley had pierced ears, and even Savannah at six had pierced ears, so we bought them each a bright, dangly pair of earrings with matching necklaces and bracelets. There was pink for Ashley and yellow for Savannah.

  “Anna Louise,” Mara shouted. “Look at these adorable young girl purses. Let’s get one of these for each of the girls, too.”

  “Sure. Then, let’s buy one more, bigger thing for Savannah.” After searching through the girls’ section of the store, I spotted a large stuffed white unicorn with big blue eyes and a purple mane and tail. “Mara, I’ve found something I think Savannah would like.” I held up the white unicorn.

  “I’d like that one for myself,” Mara exclaimed. “Savannah is sure to love such a cute stuffed animal.”

  The unicorn was too big to wrap, but Mara and I had the jewelry and purses brightly wrapped for each of the girls. With our arms loaded down, I hailed a cab to SoHo and offered to take Mara out to dinner once we had our purchases safely inside our apartment.

  Saturday brought bright blue skies, even though the air had begun to cool ever so slightly. Loaded down once again, Mara and I climbed into a cab taking us to Savannah’s adoption party.

  Thomas stood in the open doorway when we arrived. “Welcome, ladies,” he said. “Look at all of the packages. Savannah will love the unicorn.”

  “We brought some gifts for Ashley as well as Savannah,” I said. “Didn’t want her to feel left out.”

  “How thoughtful of you, ladies. They are kind of joined at the hip these days.” Thomas laughed as he took some of the packages from us. “Come on in. The family is all here and a few friends have also arrived. Mara, you’ll find Daniel in there somewhere. Probably playing video games with his brothers. They’re trying to stay out of the way of all female family members right now.”

  Beth and the girls had done an amazing job of decorating the house for the party. There were balloons of all colors flying around the living room. There was crepe paper crisscrossing the ceiling in yellow and purple. Someone, probably Mara and Daniel, had made a big, beautiful sign with Savannah’s name in giant, colored letters surrounded by cartoon paintings of all of her favorite things: puppies, kittens, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, ribbons, and lollipops. Gifts were beginning to pile up on the coffee table in front of the living room sofa. Thomas, Mara, and I added ours to the pile, setting those with tags on them for Ashely off to the side.

  Thomas greeted everyone as they arrived. I recognized and smiled at a number of the nurses from Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital. It was good to see them again. I spoke with the nurse who had tapped me on the shoulder that day at the Christmas festivities. She was happy to see me, too. Neither of us could believe how things had worked out for Savannah.

  As the Cutler family all stood together around Savannah, Thomas said grace, then welcomed everyone and said, “Come join us on this wonderful day to celebrate Savannah’s adoption into our family. There’s a variety of small sandwiches and a bowl of fruit, along with a cake baked and decorated by Beth, Ashley, and Savannah, and ice cream to eat. Ashley will be serving punch and there is also coffee to drink. Let the party begin.”

  Soon the house was buzzing with the sound of voices as everyone lined up to fill their plates and welcome Savannah to the Cutler family. After everyone had eaten, Savannah began to open her gifts. I handed Ashley the gifts Mara and I had bought for her. Her face broke into a sunshine smile. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll open mine when Savannah opens her gifts from you and Mara. That should be fun.”

  “Great idea,” I replied. “Mara is going to paint faces while Savannah opens her gifts. You can have your face painted while you wait.”

  “I’d like a bright pink daisy with a yellow center painted on my cheek,” Ashley exclaimed.

  “I heard that,” Mara said. “One bright pink daisy with a yellow center coming right up.”

  Before Mara was done, even the adult ladies, and a few boys had faces painted on their cheeks. It made us all smile seeing each of the paintings after Mara was finished. Once Savannah received the stuffed unicorn from Mara and me, she decided she wanted a pretty white unicorn with a blue eyes and purple mane and tail painted on her face. When Mara was finished painting the unicorn on Savannah’s cheek, Mara showed it to her in a mirror. Ashley wanted to see her flower in the mirror, too. Several of us snapped photos of Savannah with her gifts and with Ashley. Then, I asked if I could take a picture of the whole Cutler family together. “I need a Cutler family photo to commemorate this day.”

  The whole family stood together, posing for me and several others, as we all snapped away. Savannah and Ashley giggled as they held each other around the waist.

  “Thank you,” I said. “That was perfect.”

  As everyone began to say their goodbyes to Savannah and the family, I sat down at the piano and began to play “Savannah: Safe and Sound.” Soon Savannah and Ashley were sitting on either side of me, listening as I played.

  When I stopped for a minute, Ashley asked, “What’s the name of that song?”

  I looked at Savannah and then back at Ashley. “It’s a new song I just wrote called ‘Savannah: Safe and Sound.’ Do you think that’s a good title?” I asked Ashley.

  Savannah spoke up. “Yes, Anna Louise because I do feel safe and sound with my new family now.”

  “I’m glad,” I replied. “You have a big sister, too. That should be fun as you grow up together.”

  “It’s great most of the time,” they chorused together.

  “Now that sounds like sisters,” I said, trying not to think about how my sister had treated me growing up. “It’s been a fun afternoon celebrating Savannah’s adoption into the Cutler family, but I think Mara and I should probably find our way back to SoHo.”

  This time it was Daniel who spoke up. “I’ll drive you ladies to SoHo and it won’t even cost you anything.”

  Mara gathered up her paints and I helped her as we said our goodbyes and hugged Savannah and Ashley on our way out the door. Daniel followed us and opened the car doors for Mara and me. I tried to sneak in the front seat with Daniel, but the look on Mara’s face told me I’d better not, so I climbed into the backseat with the paints.

 
“Goodbye, everyone,” I shouted out the backseat window as the Cutler family stood on the front lawn on this beautiful September day.

  Chapter 20

  Fall had arrived in New York and the opening of Streets wasn’t far off. Daniel and Mara were back in class and I was looking forward to my next concert with the Chamber Orchestra, then I received a phone call from my father that would change everything for my family, including me.

  “Hello,” I answered into my ringing phone.

  “Anna Louise,” came this shaky voice on the other end. “It’s Dad and this is the hardest call I’ve ever had to make, so hope you’ll bear with me. Your mother hadn’t been feeling well the last few months, so I finally talked her into seeing a doctor. Of course, it had to be outside of Wisteria. I went with your mom to her first appointment, and then to each of the appointments following that. My right-hand man at the store, Albert Jones, watched over things while I went with your mom.

  “We received the diagnoses yesterday and your mom has advanced pancreatic cancer and only has a few weeks to live. I’m still in shock and need your help.”

  “Oh, Dad. Where’s Charlotte? Can’t she help you with Mom?”

  “You probably don’t even know this, but Charlotte is pregnant and sick every morning herself. Grant has school and football every day now. I told them both over dinner at Alabaster’s last night and they both just stared off into space like I hadn’t said a word.

  “Could you please come home and help me, Anna Louise? You’re the only one who can. Somehow I have to keep the store open during this time. I know Albert will help me, but I can’t expect him to work 24/7 for the next few weeks or so.

  “I know you and your mother never saw eye to eye, but I’m the one who needs your help now.”

  “Let me see what I can do, Dad. I’ll call you back as soon as I know something. Bye, Dad.

  “Thanks, sweetheart. Bye.”

  How could this be? It was just Thomas and me at the Emporium most of the time now that Daniel and Mara were back in school, and Daniel had to practice for the play after his classes. I would talk to Thomas and then call Dad back. Wisteria, Kansas, had never really felt like home to me. But, the minute I stepped off the bus in Manhattan, I knew I belonged in New York.

  “You go, Anna Louise, for as long as your father needs you. I’ll have Beth come in and wait on customers and answer the phone while I’m out tuning pianos. I’m sure Daniel and Mara will help as much as they can, too.”

  “Thank you, Thomas. I told Mara last night and she said she’d help you as much as possible. She doesn’t have classes every day and will come in on the days she off. She’s been the best friend in the world, Thomas. Maybe a little flamboyant, but the greatest friend a person could ever have.”

  “I think my son thinks she’s pretty great, too. She’s a little out there, but as smart as a whip.”

  “I’m going to email my dad tonight, and then I’ll be able to let you know tomorrow when I’ll be leaving for Kansas.”

  “Don’t worry about us here. This is going to be a devastating time for you family.”

  “It will be, Thomas, but I think my heart broke harder for Mr. Cutler than it will for my own mother. Life is sure hard to understand sometimes.”

  “You go back to your apartment now and call your father. Let me know your flight information.” Thomas hugged me and sent me on my way.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Dad. It’s Anna Louise. I talked with my boss and I’ll be on my way to Wisteria within a few hours. I’m coming to help you, but with strings attached. I know a lot about computers, and since working at the Emporium I’ve become adept at waiting on customers and taking phone calls, so while I’m there I’ll watch over Armstrong Computers with Mr. Jones while you can take care of Mom.”

  “All right, sweetheart. I understand.”

  “I’ll stay in my old room, fix the meals, and visit with Mom once a day, so hope we can respect one another’s wishes during this time. It’s going to be hard on all of us and I know it will change your life forever, but my life changed the day I got on that bus and moved to New York. See you in a few hours. I’ll rent a car until I return to New York. Bye, Dad.”

  “Thank you, Anna Louise. I’ll see you at the house. Bye."

  The only person I wanted to talk to right now was Chase. I called his number.

  “Chase Monroe. How may I help you?”

  “I wish you could, Chase.” I told him the story of my mother and how I was on my way to Wisteria for the next few weeks. “Just wanted you to know that I’ll miss you while I’m gone. This all seems strange and surreal to me right now, so I hope you don’t mind if I call you once in a while from Wisteria.”

  “I’m so sorry, Anna Louise. I understand you need to help your father right now. Call me anytime, and I’ll miss you too.”

  “Thank you, Chase. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Keep in touch. I’ll talk to Mara and Daniel. Take care, Anna.”

  Dad and I worked things out and the days seemed to move by, but each night when I visited my mother in the bedroom that had been set up for her, I could see she was fading away. She hardly ever opened her eyes, and even though she knew when I was there, she never said a word to me.

  After being with my mom for a while each night, I’d sit on the sofa and page through the family albums and write songs. I asked Dad if I could take a few of the pictures back to New York with me. He said to take all of the ones I wanted to. Then, I found myself writing a song for my mom. She had never loved me, but for just a few minutes while I wrote this song, I needed to love her.

  Frank and Charlotte stopped by occasionally when I was there, but rarely stayed for more than five minutes. I’m sure seeing Mom like that was more than her heart could stand. What would she do without Mom to make her life perfect every day?

  Grant pretty much stayed away. He and Dad would have to make their way together once Mom died. I would be flying back to New York as soon as Dad was able to return to work.

  The day Mom died, Dad asked if I’d play the piano at her funeral. I said I would. I told him I’d written a song just for that day.

  He hugged me, and said, “Thank you for being here these last few weeks. I couldn’t have made it through without your strength. The funeral will be in a few days, then I’ll have to go back to work at the store and you can return to New York.”

  As the people of Wisteria filed into the church, I played the song I’d written especially in memory of my mother. Then, during the service I played my signature piece, hearing the moans and sighs as I played. Finally, as the service ended, I played “Amazing Grace.” I sat frozen on the piano bench, realizing for the first time that my mother had never heard me play in life, but only in death.

  “That was beautiful, Anna Louise,” I heard from behind me.

  “Chase. I’d know that voice anywhere.” I jumped up off the piano stool and threw my arms around him. “You’re here.”

  “Yes, I’m here for you now and I hope forever. Mara and Daniel are outside with her parents.”

  “I want to introduce you to my father. Charlotte and Grant will be there, too, but most of all I want you to meet my father.”

  Chase and Daniel stayed at Mara’s house while in Wisteria. We were all going back to New York tomorrow, but I was going to spend one last night with my father. I worried about him, but knew he would probably stay busy like he had for all these years. He also had my brother at home for a little while longer before he went off to college.

  “Anna Louise. I’d like you to have this pearl necklace and earring set of your mother’s.”

  I turned and saw my father as he came into the kitchen with a long, white velvet box in his hand.

  “The music you played at the funeral touched my heart. Please take
these pearls. You don’t have to wear them. I just want to know they’re with you.”

  “Thank you, Dad. I’ll take them back to New York with me along with the family photos I picked out.”

  “When will I see you again, my loving daughter?”

  “I think maybe it’s time you came to New York to hear me play at Carnegie Hall. I’ll let you know when.”

  “I love you, Anna Louise.”

  “I love you, too, Dad.”

  ~ ~ ~

  The next day, Chase, Mara, Daniel, and I returned to the airport in my rental car and then flew off to New York and LaGuardia Airport. Once we were back home, I went with Chase to his apartment, where I left my bags until after we’d gone to the Emporium to let Thomas know I was back from my stay in Wisteria. He was as glad to see me as I was to see him.

  “Welcome back,” he said, pulling me into a big hug. “We all missed you while you were gone.”

  “It’s good to be back, Thomas. It was hard watching my mom decline like that, but most of her care fell to my dad. I actually played the piano at her funeral.”

  “I’ve never met anyone as brave as Anna Louise,” Chase said. “Her mom never knew what a gem she had in her.”

  “Thank you, Chase, for those wonderful words. But, now I can hardly wait to get back to work and I’m also looking forward to the opening night of Streets at NYU.”

  Thomas spoke up, then. “Daniel told me the other day that Streets has been an amazing experience for him. He can’t wait until opening night, either.” Something told me Thomas would be sitting in the front row that first night, proud as a peacock.

  Chase turned to me, and said, “Remember when I said I’d escort you to opening night, Anna Louise.”