Chaos Theory

by Susan Harris

  I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door frame, wondering how Jack understood my heart had been crushed to smithereens, and when the pieces were put back together, they didn’t go back quite the same. Every name thrown at me, every moment of my life that would’ve seemed insignificant to them, chipped away at the fragile organ that was my heart until I’d become a shell of myself, a beating heart surrounded by an abundance of trust issues.

  I placed my hand on the handle, ready to stride out of the room when Nickolai cleared his throat and began to speak.

  “I understand—I really do. Ryan has a smart mouth, but she’s honest as they come. She’s sarcastic, but she’s a heart of pure gold. She’s also stubborn as hell but loyal as fuck. She can be a little crazy, but sometimes—like when we were kids—you just gotta smile and let her have her way.”

  I couldn’t stand here and listen to them any longer. Swinging open the door, all three vampires came to attention as I stalked out of the room wearing the mask Nickolai hated so much.

  “My Liege, Prince Kristoph is expecting us at eight sharp. If you do not wish to be late, I suggest you get dressed.”

  If Nickolai bristled at my tone I didn’t see it. The crown prince donned a mask of his own as he rose and strode past me without so much as a glance, closing the door behind him and taking the tension with him as he went.

  I was so relieved I almost collapsed against the wall and probably would have if it would not have betrayed a weakness.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to take the night off, Ryan? Jack or I could go with Nickolai to meet Prince Kristoph.”

  I raised a brow at Atticus. “And miss out on a free dinner at Murphy’s? Are you psychotic? The dessert is the only thing worth spending the night across the table from Nattie for.”

  “Be careful, Ryan. Natalia Smyrnoi is dangerous.”

  I laughed, flashing Atticus a fangy grin. “So am I.”

  Both men shook their heads just as Atticus’ phone chimed. He frowned and glanced at Jack, and my heart sank as I realized Atticus was being summoned back to the compound. Atticus reached out and cupped Jack’s cheek, pressing his lips to the other man’s as I glanced away to give them some privacy.

  After they said a quick goodbye, Atticus hollered a farewell to Nickolai and then embraced me in a hug.

  “Give the kid a break, Ryan,” he whispered. “He means well.”

  Before I could come up with a snappy retort, Atticus was gone. Jack sank down on the couch and scrubbed his face with his hands. Against my better judgement, I walked over and sat down beside him, resting my head against his shoulder.

  “How did you guys end up together?” I asked quietly.

  Jack wrapped an arm around me before he replied, his own tone low but filled with emotion. “We were visiting the North American vampires, but I’d had feelings for him for a while. I didn’t think much of it; the chances of him feeling the same attraction were slim. It was snowing, and we’d been drinking beer and blood. I slipped in the fucking snow, and Atticus caught me before I landed on my ass.”

  I smiled, keeping my mouth shut as Jack continued. “We were standing in the snow, and I watched as Atticus examined me like he was seeing me for the first time. And then he kissed me. We haven’t looked back since.”

  “You should write that down and pitch it to Hallmark—a vampire Christmas love story.” I giggled. “I’d watch it.”

  Jack nudged me with his shoulder, but he had the biggest grin. “I never thought I’d fall in love with someone who could know everything about me. I haven’t felt happiness like this in a long time, Ryan. I want that for you.”

  I didn’t want to burst Jack’s little bubble, but happiness like that wasn’t gonna happen for me. All I could hope for was to find some semblance of peace once I found out who was responsible for the death of my parents.

  As Jack squeezed me tighter, I spared a glance up and saw Nickolai watching me with a strange look on his face.

  16

  “You ready to go?”

  I gave a slight incline of my head and pressed a quick kiss to Jack’s cheek. The vampire glared suspiciously, knowing full well I wasn’t really free with my affection.

  “What was that for, kiddo?”

  “Just cause,” I replied with a little lift of my shoulders.

  I got to my feet and dragged my ass across the apartment to call for the elevator, watching as Nickolai shook hands with Jack. I ran my eyes over Nickolai, dressed in dark denim jeans, a button-down shirt, and a baseball jacket thrown over top. His hair was wild as if he’d forgotten to slick it back like usual, and the longer strands dipped into his eyes.

  As if he felt me watching him, he turned his head toward me and I snapped my head away, but not before I caught a glimpse of his cerulean eyes and cursed myself.

  Once the elevator appeared, I sank into the farthest corner possible, and Nickolai, thankfully, went to the opposite corner. We spoke not a word the entire trip down, through the foyer, and outside on the curb, waiting for our car to arrive.

  “We need to talk about last night.”

  His voice broke through the stillness of the night, and I sighed. “We really don’t.”

  A sleek black Mercedes S Class pulled up, and Nickolai reached around me to open the door. I scowled at him, muttering I could open my own goddamn door. He, however, said nothing, just indicated for me to get in, so I did.

  Sliding across the plush leather, I folded my arms across my chest and slouched in my seat as Nickolai got in beside me. Suddenly, there wasn’t any air in the car and I wanted out of this metal can ASAP. I rolled down the window, breathing in the night air and ignoring my companion as we drove off through the city. Sirens wailed nearby, the smell of smoke in the air as fire engines sped past us.

  After an eternity, we arrived at our destination. I felt in my gut like I’d leapt out of the frying pan and into the fire, but I didn’t wait for Nickolai to get out and open the door for me, choosing to rush toward the evening’s festivities at my own pace.

  I tapped my foot impatiently as Nickolai stepped out of the car, a gaggle of nearby girls whistling as he smiled at them. I rolled my eyes and opened the restaurant door, automatically scanning the place for any threats while keeping an eye on Nickolai at the same time.

  A waitress gave me a massive smile, asking what name was on the reservation. Her eyes widened when I said “Romanov, table of four.” Grabbing four menus from under the counter, she informed me that we were the first to arrive. I nodded, and the girl hesitated when I stayed put at the counter, waiting until Nickolai was ready to be seated.

  He came up behind me, and a hand fell to the small of my back as he directed me after the waitress. I tried not to react to his touch. After all, I had a job to do.

  The waitress stopped by a table in the center of the room, and I shook my head. I couldn’t keep my eye on all the entrances and exits from there. Scanning the room, I spied a table in the corner, up on a small dais where, if I sat with my back to the wall, I could see the entire restaurant. I pointed to it, and the girl looked to Nickolai for confirmation. He must have nodded to her, but I’d already surged forward, yanking out the corner chair with a scrape before Nickolai could try anything like pulling it out for me.

  He sat down next to me, his own back to the wall, and accepted menus from the waitress, ordering a beer for himself and a Jack and Coke for me.

  “Water’s fine for me,” I interjected.

  “She’ll take the Jack and Coke,” Nickolai reiterated.

  The waitress flinched but nodded, rushing off as fast as her human feet would take her.

  “Have a drink, Ry. Everyone’s entitled to a night off.”

  “Forgive me, My Liege, but with two members of the royal family out in the open, I cannot let my guard down.”

  Nickolai leaned back in his chair, resting a foot on his knee. “Kris will have two guards with him who will keep watch.”

  “Then why am I here?”
>
  “As my date, of course.”

  “Is that an order, My Liege?” I murmured, slightly louder than I’d intended.

  Nickolai growled. “Give me a fucking break, Ryan. For one night, just give me a fucking break.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue answer his snark with a comment of my own, but I swallowed it down as the door to the restaurant opened and Nattie stepped inside with Kristoph following after her.

  When you saw Natalia for the first time, it was hard not to see she was a great beauty. A mass of caramel curls framed her face, her chiseled features cut like diamonds, her figure slim but with curves a Playboy centerfold would be jealous of, Nattie was considered the most beautiful vampire in the Sanguine court. Tonight, she wore a tailored pair of navy pants with a matching jacket buttoned over a cream-colored blouse that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe. Diamonds in her ears and around her neck, with a rock the size of a mountain on her finger, I suddenly felt self-conscious in my jeans and Chucks. Her eyes sparkled as they landed on Nickolai, the sparkle dying out when they landed on me.

  I watched as Kris leaned in, whispering something that made her plaster on a fake-ass smile. Kristoph had the same face as his brother, though it was sharper and more angled, his dark hair, eyes, and thin frame just like his father’s.

  He regarded me with a warm smile that almost made me forget he was a year younger than me, intelligence written in his eyes as he escorted Nattie to our table, her designer heels audible as she crossed the wooden floor, their guard moving to the bar area.

  Nickolai rose, kissing Nattie on both cheeks as Kris waited to embrace his brother. I was happy to see they were still close; the brothers’ lives were headed in two different directions, and that could have torn them apart. Wars had been waged for much less than a dispute over a crown.

  “Ryan.”

  Nattie purred my name with such fake sweetness I was certain I’d have to see a dentist from the toothache it was giving me.

  “Natalia,” I replied coolly.

  “Ryan Callan, get over here and give me a hug,” Kris said.

  I smiled warmly, doing as he asked as he winked at me, his eyes full of mischief. We exchanged pleasantries as we sat, and I looked up to discover Nattie smirking at me. I arched a brow, but Nickolai cleared his throat and Nattie pursed her lips and fluttered her eyes at Nickolai.

  Bitch, please. You’re so fake even China would deny they made you.

  A young waiter, an apple tattoo visible on his wrist, appeared with our drinks, handing me a water and the Jack and Coke. Kris ordered some fancy bottle of wine and then asked his brother how he was getting on.

  They lapsed into comfortable chitchat, and I let my eyes roam the restaurant. The bar was a quintessential Irish bar, the kind that kept tourists flocking from near and to sample a pint of the black stuff or a bowl of traditional Irish stew. I remembered coming here once or twice with my mom and dad, Jack playing traditional songs and my dad singing along as the Irish lads celebrated St. Paddy’s Day and sang songs about wars they’d fought in.

  I could picture them now, belting out tunes and banging tables at the appropriate times while my mother shook her head, her smile so brilliant it lit up the darkened corners.

  “Ryan.”

  I blinked as Nickolai called my name gently, asking me if I was ready to order. I nodded meekly, blocking out the memories and leaning back in my chair as I pretended to study the menu. When the waiter returned, I almost fell off my chair when Nattie ordered a salad. I mean, who came to a restaurant like Murphy’s and ordered a salad? It wasn’t like the silly girl could put on weight.

  Both Nickolai and Kris ordered the steak, rare, and as I opened my mouth to place my order, Nickolai spoke over me.

  “I know it’s not on the menu, but I called earlier and asked if Chef would mind cooking something off-menu. He knows what to make for her.”

  My mouth clamped shut with a loud smack, and I dropped my gaze, wondering what the hell I was in for. The wine arrived as I slugged my Jack and Coke, trying to ignore Nattie, but the girl just wouldn’t stop staring at me.

  “What?” I finally snapped.

  She sighed as if I’d disturbed her and glanced at Kristoph, who gave a sharp shake of his head.

  “You promised to be civil, Nattie.”

  “Don’t chastise me, Kristoph. I’m not a child.”

  Lifting my glass to my lips, I chortled a little, and Nickolai nudged me with his knee. “Must be incredibly challenging, Nattie, dating someone who isn’t even legally able to drink the wine in front of him. Would you call Kris your boy toy, or does he call you his sugar mama when you’re alone?”

  Kris almost choked on his wine, exploding with laughter as Nattie looked horrified at my words. Nickolai growled a warning as our food began to arrive. The waiter set the salad down first, then the steaks, the blood dripping from the meat, making my stomach rumble loudly.

  “Oh, by Eve! Have you no sense of decorum? Are you feral?”

  I snarled and snapped my teeth at Nattie, reveling when she shrank back in her chair. When the waiter returned, my mouth watered as he set a dish down in front of me. Duck—a meat nowhere on the menu—cut into sections on a bed of creamy potatoes and runner beans, and drizzled in a blood-orange glaze.

  It was my favorite meal ever.

  I peered at Nickolai, puzzled, but he was concentrating on his steak. Grabbing my fork, I stabbed a piece of meat, lifting it to my mouth. Sweet Eve, the taste of it! The sauce was laced with blood, and I almost moaned my approval, my toes curling as I made quick work of the dish, savoring every mouthful, not caring Nattie was studying us both and forgetting about her lame-ass salad.

  We ate mostly in silence, with Nickolai and Kristoph making random conversation as Nattie continued to glare at me. Despite my full belly keeping me pretty content, I was over her BS.

  “Take a picture, it will last longer,” I said.

  Nattie thrummed a well-manicured nail on the table. “Well, considering your family history, photos really do last longer.”

  Nickolai dropped his fork on the plate with a clang, growling low in his throat, while Kris looked appalled at his girlfriend.

  Thoughts of my parents were always raw; however, I had a lifetime of experience hiding my feelings from Nattie and her band of mean girls. I smiled, giving Nattie the smile I reserved for those I was about to beat bloody, and Nattie retreated further into her chair.

  “Sweetie,” I said, maintaining the smile, “leave the sarcasm and insults to the pros. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

  “I do not see why everyone is so fond of you. You have the social skills of a wild animal.”

  “Nattie, you know you have the right to remain silent, right? Cause everything you say will probably be stupid anyway.”

  “How dare you!” Nattie exclaimed, her face turning red, but I wasn’t done yet.

  Turning to Kris, I grinned, taking a sip of my drink before calmly musing aloud. “Hey Kris, when you whisper sweet nothings in Nattie’s ear, do they echo back to you from all the empty space in her head?”

  Nattie smacked Kristoph on the arm. “Are you going to let her speak to me like that?”

  “To be fair, darling, you did start this,” Kris replied as he drank his wine, unimpressed by Nattie’s antics.

  I tilted my head, letting an expression of wonder fall on my face.

  “What?” It was Nattie’s turn to snap at me, and I flashed my fangs at her.

  “If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?”

  Kristoph spat out his expensive wine, coughing as Nickolai tensed next to me, his hand landing on my thigh and squeezing as if to say, “Enough.”

  But I wasn’t fucking done yet, and neither was Nattie.

  “Do you know who I am? How dare you speak to me like that? I am a high lady of this court, and I will be respected as such. As the prince’s consort, I demand to be treated in the manner which is expected. You are nothing but the pet project of t
he queen, who feels sorry for you. Nobody cares about you, Ryan. You are insignificant.”

  My fingers itched for my sai, and Nickolai’s grip on my leg tightened in case I launched across the table and stabbed her with her salad fork… or worse. Instead, I leaned back in my chair, drained my drink and called for another as I jerked my head up.

  “Good story, Nattie, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?”

  Nattie rose from her chair with a start, Kris blowing out a breath as he dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin, reaching for Nattie as she brushed him off and stormed off, almost falling off the dais in her stilettoes.

  I burst out laughing, lifting my glass to salute her when she glared. Kristoph cocked a brow, like I was suddenly rather interesting, and I toasted him as well. “Prince’s consort? You have my deepest condolences.”

  “Forgive me, Ryan. She was way out of order.”

  I shook my head. “Not your fault, Kris. She’s not your responsibility. Next time you come visit, though, leave the raging bitch behind.”

  “I might just do that.” Kristoph sighed before turning his attention to Nickolai. “I’ll speak with you later, Nico.”

  Nickolai nodded at his brother, his face stern as Kristoph left the restaurant in a flurry of movement, and I became suddenly very aware Nickolai’s hand was still on my thigh.

  “I still get dessert, right? Please tell me I still get dessert.”

  Nickolai rolled his eyes as he summoned the waiter and asked for a slice of cheesecake now and one to-go for later. My leg began to bounce in nervous energy; I’d enjoyed that far too much, and not even Nickolai’s hand cupping my leg could stop it.

  The cheesecake arrived, and I dragged the plate toward me for a split second before Nickolai pulled it back.

  “Hey,” I said, “get your own cake. I deserve this after being nice to Nattie.”

  Nickolai arched a brow, taking a mouthful of my dessert.

  I shrugged. “Well, I made it through the dinner without hitting her with a chair. I’d say my people skills are improving.”