River's Escape (River's End Series, #2)

by Davis, Leanne

  “What are you busy doing? We got too much shit to do.”

  He shut the door on Shane’s face and didn’t reply to his rude comment. Shane’s voice eventually faded as he grumbled and walked away. Ian ran his hands through his hair and studied Kailynn from across the room. She managed to keep her face carefully blank. Instead, of leaving, as she suspected he would, he crossed the room and lay back down beside her. He pulled her into his arms again, fitting his knees into the backs of hers. His hands stayed on her stomach as he kissed her shoulder.

  Kailynn immediately grew uncomfortable and was unsure what to do. She had no familiarity with affection. Her boyfriends were mostly the groping kind. She was beginning to see that each and every one of them was a poor version of her brothers.

  Ian, however, was not. He was the complete opposite. Quiet, reserved, always in control of himself and what he said or did, Ian was, in a word, responsible. So what was he doing here with her?

  “What exactly was this?” Kailynn’s remark finally burst out of her mouth when she couldn’t take the strain any longer.

  “Enjoyment.”

  “Enjoyment? This wasn’t a Bingo game in the church basement. This was, well, I mean I know what this was. I just don’t understand why. You wouldn’t even look at me before.”

  “Did you want me to? You send off pretty strong signals to do exactly the opposite.”

  “Oh, really? If that were the case, then what possessed you to come up here and do—this while I’m still cleaning your brother’s bathroom?”

  He turned her so she was under him and put his face over hers. He touched her cheek as he replied, “I couldn’t look at you because if I did, everyone would know how I felt about you. I might not know exactly where your head is with this, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want anyone to find out.”

  Her heart skipped a beat and kind of danced around. No one ever said anything like that to her. And how did he feel about her? She wished he would tell her that. Perhaps, relieve some of the guilt she kept beating herself up with over wasting her virginity on someone that didn’t even want a relationship. But then… how could he seem so awkward at times, and then not? And what he had just done was for her, hoping she’d like it?

  He continued, “You said it was weird for you. I wanted you to feel what it was like when it wasn’t weird. So how was it? Any better?”

  He wanted to give her sexual satisfaction? Couldn’t he see that her satisfaction was so complete the first time that she turned her back on a resolution she pledged at the age of sixteen? That was when a boy stuck his tongue into her mouth for the first time. That tongue felt like a slug to her. She had decided if kissing felt so gross, then there was no way sex would feel any better. But after one touch of Ian’s tongue, she wanted to launch herself on top of him and devour him. She didn’t even recognize herself, much less her unfamiliar reactions.

  “It was the better the first time that it happened.” Her voice came out in half the decibels she normally spoke. She could not get used to talking to her lover. Friend. Dear God, what was he?

  He smiled as he leaned down and kissed her again. “So I get this wasn’t what you wanted. But it’s already happened; you can’t undo it, right? Do you want this to be it? Or do you want try it on a bed?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered, turning her head to the side. “Isn’t Shane waiting for you?”

  “Doubt it.”

  “What does he think you’re doing?”

  Ian shrugged. “Don’t know. Doubt he’ll think about it after he leaves the house. Why should he care what I’m up to? I rarely tell anyone what I’m doing at any given time of day. Nothing new for me.”

  “What were you supposed to be doing? I mean, I’m here five times a week and I can’t truly say I know what you do all day.”

  His mouth tweaked up as if amused by her. “You want to talk right now?”

  “I don’t know what I want right now,” she mumbled, blowing a lungful of breath out that fluffed her bangs up.

  He tugged on her hair and shrugged as he turned, so he was on his side next to her. “You’ve never asked me before what I do. Every day is different.”

  “And you like that? The constant variety?”

  “Yeah. I do more of the maintenance than Jack. He’s all about the horses’ care and training all the time. I do some of it, but he does it all the time. Erin’s starting to take a load off that though. Like today, I trained three horses, took care of some with Erin, studied old tax records, since I think we’re paying too much, spent a few hours with AJ in the orchards, and then I was out in the barn, repairing some busted saddles.”

  “And you can just disappear at one o’clock to—”

  “To?” He raised his eyebrows, and his tone failed to mask his amusement while waiting for her to articulate. She buried her face in the pillow. No, not yet. She could not even say the right words to him. His arm snaked out and his hand rested on the indentation of her hip.

  “To show my housekeeper what a real orgasm feels like? Yeah, no one pays attention to what I do.”

  “Why? Why did you even want to show me?”

  “Because I hurt you. And that’s the last thing I wanted.”

  “You didn’t hurt me.”

  “I ruined something important for you.”

  “No, I did that. I know that. You just… did what I asked.”

  “And what was that?”

  She buried her face deeper. “Showed me what that is.”

  “What? An orgasm?”

  She nodded her head, but kept her face down. He slid his hand up her back and she arched her spine as she relished his touch. It felt so good. So soothing. So right. And so unfamiliar.

  “I have to be at the café by five,” she finally mumbled, her voice muffled by the pillow.

  “So…?”

  “So I should finish what I was doing.”

  “New rule: you’re not cleaning my stuff anymore, right?”

  She popped her head out. “It’s still my job. This doesn’t change that.”

  He shrugged. “It does for me. I’ll take care of it. I would have done my own laundry, but everyone would have wondered why. I thought it would be too obvious, so I didn’t.”

  “You can’t do that. And you can’t tip me huge amounts and start doing my work just because we’ve… done this. I’m not suddenly the lady of the manor. You can’t change jobs for me.”

  He didn’t answer, but his jaw clenched. She reached her hand up hesitantly. She wanted to touch his face, and run her fingers through his hair, but she was unused to taking such liberties with him. She finally set her hand on his cheek. It was smooth. He didn’t have a thick beard, and didn’t shave every day. She knew that because she cleaned his bathroom. She always knew when he shaved, since hair was left randomly around the sink. His skin felt smooth, and the muscles in his jaw flexed at her touch. She finally lifted herself up high enough to set her lips on his. He didn’t react at first, but froze, as if pausing to see what she was up to. Her hair fanned all around them. He lifted his hand and threaded his fingers through it, massaging her scalp. “Be clear with me. Do you want to do this again?”

  She didn’t know. All she knew for sure was she did not want to get off the bed. So maybe, yes, she did. She really liked the feel of him lying alongside her. Her entire life, she’d been alone and kind of just taking up space. She never felt like this. Warm and comforted, like every ounce of her flesh needed to be touched so it tingled with those feelings of being truly alive.

  “Yes. I want to. But I don’t know what to do.”

  He boxed her head in with his hands and smiled as he kissed her lips. “I can help with that part.”

  Reaching across the bed, he jerked the nightstand drawer open and took out condoms. She looked down at them, and then back up at him. “I have heavy periods,” she said out of the blue.

  His eyebrows rose as if to say what the fuck do I need to know that for? She flushed as she realized what
she said. “I mean, because I have so much discomfort, I’ve always been on birth control pills. It helps reduce those symptoms. So…”

  His hand dropped from her waist. “So, you trust me?”

  “Yes. Do you trust me?”

  “You shouldn’t; you never know where someone’s been. But you can trust me. I always use condoms. I’ve never had sex without them.”

  “Well, I’ve never done it, period. And I can promise you, I do not want to get pregnant.”

  His lips flashed to a grin. “Not planning to just get it over and be knocked up by some loser, huh?”

  She smiled. Who knew she could actually smile while still being naked next to a man? “No. That’s not the plan.” Then it occurred to her. “Wait, who are you having sex with? You said there was someone.”

  He sighed, and for once, broke their eye contact. “Yeah. There’s someone. But I told you already: I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

  “Even me? After this?” Her voice rose higher and sounded weird.

  “Even you. I promised her.”

  “But… what? You’re going to see her again and tell her you can’t say my name because you promised me? Handy. You can have your cake and eat her too.” She started to sit up, suddenly completely spooked and angry with him.

  He grabbed her hand and tugged her back. “Listen to you. Overcoming your shyness. I won’t go back to her. Not anymore.”

  “And she’s okay with being treated like that?”

  He pulled her back to his chest. “She started seeing someone last year and we stopped for a few months. Yeah. Sure, she’s okay with it.”

  “Who is it? I need to know.” Kailynn didn’t know why she had to know the woman’s identity; it just felt crucial to her.

  He rubbed her back and shoulders. “Okay, okay. But if I tell you, will you promise to keep it quiet? She doesn’t deserve having it spread around.”

  “I won’t say anything. I promise. I just can’t stand not knowing.” Who was it? She racked her brain, checking off the list of every possible woman in the valley. She couldn’t place anyone ever spending any time with Ian. Then again, how would she know?

  “Odette.”

  Odette Mason? She was the community church Sunday School teacher. She was old, like almost forty, with a daughter and son in middle school, and another in elementary. She sat up and pushed off his chest. He did the same. Odette wasn’t even that attractive. She had long, mousy, blonde hair, and was kind of pudgy and frumpy. Okay, Kailynn wasn’t being fair, she was kind of pretty in a plain, worn-out sort of way. She’s just not the woman Kailynn ever expected to become Ian’s booty call, or anyone else’s, for that matter.

  “No one could accuse you of being shallow,” she snapped, nearly gnashing her teeth. He leaned over so his head was resting on her shoulder and kissed her neck and her shoulder. Her back went ramrod straight and she started to bend towards his warm touch. How did he do that?

  “We’re not having a discussion about what she and I did, or why. Just like I’d never discuss what you and I do with anyone. You insisted. So now, you know. I don’t really need to hear your opinion.”

  “She’s old.”

  “She’s only thirty-six.” His tone was even as he seemed so reasonable. She was being unreasonable, but she couldn’t help herself.

  “She’s a mother.”

  “Yeah, makes her appreciative of some time away from the kids.”

  “Time away to screw? But…”

  “What do you want here, Kailynn? Why are you upset? We weren’t even friends a week ago. I’ll talk to Odette, but it’s over. Explain to me why you’re so mad? In fact, why are you always mad at me? It might be nice if you’d let me know.”

  She shut her eyes. She didn’t know the answer. She was always getting mad at him. She dropped her head down onto her chest and shook it sadly. “I don’t know. I’m so confused right now. I don’t know how to do this.”

  He pulled her back to his chest, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. She would never have pegged Ian Rydell as being loving and affectionate. He was tender and gentle, touching her with the kind of hesitation and care she longed for her entire life. It wasn’t sex that made her want to be near him, but being with someone who truly cared. Feeling important to someone else. She relaxed into his embrace and let him hold her. His hands were on her stomach and she grabbed his thumbs, pulling them up higher to her nipples that pebbled and ached for him.

  “You sure?” he whispered into her hair. She nodded. She was sure of this moment. And nothing else.

  When his thumbs swept over her nipples, her back turned to Jell-O, as it molded into his chest. Her head fell back onto his shoulder and his mouth came down on hers. She grew moist and ready in minutes. She finally lifted off him and turned so she could tug off his flannel shirt and t-shirt over his head. He kicked his boots off as she attacked his belt buckle. She stopped when she got to the tab of his jeans and he set his hand over hers when he noticed her hesitancy. Unlike Drew, he didn’t force her, but pulled her back and positioned her under him. He kissed and touched and licked and made her moan until she was like butter. He got up, but only to strip off his own jeans. She kept her eyes shut, not quite ready for his nudity, which was stark and obvious.

  Leaning over her, he gently stroked the sides of her face. “Look at me.”

  She opened her eyes and he shifted and came inside her. It didn’t hurt this time. It felt tight and kind of strange, like she was stretching at odd angles. But this time, he was bare and her eyes widened at the new sensation. It was definitely different. Way different from the condom; it made it feel a little less sore and sensitive. That epiphany came as a shock to her senses.

  He eased off her a little when he noticed her squirm and stiffen. “You okay?”

  She bit her lip and nodded.

  He shut his eyes for a moment and a shudder traveled down his body. “It’s really good like this,” he finally replied.

  She relaxed her thighs and spread them even wider, offering him more access. He moved out and in, still going slow and deep. He watched her face. Was he looking for signs of pain? Regret? She didn’t know, but he studied her carefully.

  After two long, slow push and pulls, she felt a kind of tickling deep inside her somewhere. Then a sense of heating and aching began and bright colors started spiraling. She let out a breath and blinked in surprise.

  “Better?” he asked. How was he so tuned in to what her body felt? And how she felt? She couldn’t imagine anyone being so thorough, or kind, or caring.

  “So much better,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. This time, she got it. It was so much more than even having his fingers inside her. This was magic. A thick, burning, pulsating heat slid into her, all slick and wet, and the tightening that engulfed her body almost took her breath away. He grinned as he moved harder. Deeper. Faster. He seemed to read her body language and knew exactly what felt the best. And this was it.

  “Better just knowing I’m not hurting you,” he gasped. At last, he could quit worrying quite so much about her, and started moving harder and faster before pounding inside her until the colors flashed behind her eyes and eventually blinded her.

  She wasn’t aware she was yelling his name until his hand gently covered her mouth and a half smile appeared to her startled eyes. “Kids get home soon,” he mumbled for an explanation. Then he continued filling her up to the point that her entire body shifted. He started to pull back, but she grabbed onto him and he went from slow and sweet to aggressive, hard, and mind-shattering.

  When they were done, she lay there, breathing hard as the sweat started to cool down her body. He leaned down next to her and kissed her. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was after four. She had to get going. She didn’t want to. She preferred to curl up into a ball next to him, and let him continue rubbing his hands over her back and hips and bare butt, as he was now. It chased away the weird feelings and warmed her skin. “I have
to get ready to go.”

  “You want to shower first?”

  “Yes.”

  Releasing her, he rolled over and got up. She stared at his hair before dropping her gaze lower. His back was long and his hips were slim. He didn’t have a big or bulky frame. He was so thin, his thighs looked like sinewy, thick ropes. His butt cheeks had perfect indentations on each side. He didn’t even try to cover up, which surprised her. She wouldn’t have guessed that about Ian, since she always thought he was shy. Apparently, that was her, not him. He turned and caught her gawking, although she averted her gaze quickly, and only glimpsed a flash of his front. She didn’t look again, but scooted to the edge of his bed and stood up. Liquid ran down her legs in tiny streams. Embarrassed, she squeezed her thighs together quickly. She was sure she must have been quite a sight: saggy boobs and awkwardly squeezed thighs. Thank God his bathroom was attached to his room. She grabbed his flannel shirt and covered herself. Not Ian. He just walked naked into his bathroom and started the shower. He didn’t intend to get in there with her, did he? He didn’t come back out. She peeked in and saw him using his hand to test the water.

  “It’s nice and hot.”

  She nodded, blushing hotly under his gaze before turning to slide off his shirt. He got in, and when she stepped closer, he pulled her inside the shower. Odette Mason. Ian usually saw Odette Mason naked. Odette was kind of pear-shaped with terrible thighs and no boobs. Kailynn mustered a little self-confidence at thinking he had to find her a little more attractive than Odette, didn’t he?

  But somehow, she had a feeling Ian didn’t judge anyone like that; especially Odette, if the gentle tone he used when talking about her was any indication.

  The hot water felt good and she leaned her head back, taking the soap he handed her to wash her hair. As she was finishing, his hands burrowed into the thick mass, and he said, “I love your hair.”

  She stilled and let his fingers massage her scalp and unsnarl the thickest chunks of it. “I never thought you even noticed me.”

  “I noticed these every single time you ever moved,” he said as his hands lifted the heavy weights of her boobs.