A Gentle Rain

by Deborah F. Smith

  I took her dark hand in my tanned Cracker one. "Yep. Tell Jesus: No slower than fourteen-five, or they won't have a chance to make the top twenty."

  "Fourteen-five, Jesus," Joey said loudly, looking upward.

  Dale frowned at him. "You don't have to yell. He heard you."

  "Thankyaverymuch," Mr. Darcy said, as if speaking for the Lord.

  "Here comes Tami Jo Jackson, the reigning world champion," the announcer boomed.

  The crowd applauded. Can't fault people for being polite. But me and my crew, we sat on our hands. Tami Jo and her bay champion galloped into the arena. She and the gelding were color-coordinated; she wore lace on her shirt and a lace band on her western hat; the bay wore lace trim on his saddle pad. "That's a stylish champ," the announcer said. Well, a lacy one, anyway.

  Directly across the arena from us, J.T. Jackson applauded in his private booth.

  First barrel. Four-seven-seven.

  Second barrel. Eight-two-five.

  Third barrel. Eleven-six-three.

  At the gate. Fourteen-six-eight.

  "Fourteen seconds, six tenths and eight hundredths," the announcer yelled. "The best time of the night. Ladies and gentlemen, Tami Jo and Mr. Go Bar Gone's South are number one for the night and the team to beat in tomorrow's finals!"

  J.T. Jackson looked over at me, smirked, and raised a finger.

  The middle one.

  "And now," the announcer said in a deep, dramatic way, "here comes the last contestant of the evening. The can-do `Cracker' mare you've all been waiting for! From dog food auction block to Million Dollar RideOff! Come on in, Estrela, from the Thocco Ranch, ridden by Karen Johnson!"

  I shut my eyes for a second. Come on, baby, race like everything depends on it. Because it does.

  They streaked into the ring. The crowd started cheering so loud Joey winced. I had to cover his ears. My heart pounded a drumbeat that made my hands shake. I couldn't bear to watch Karen and Estrela; I watched the timer board, instead.

  First barrel. Time so far: Four seconds, two-tenths, thirty-four hundredths.

  Second barrel. Eight, six, fifty-two.

  Third barrel. Eleven, four, twenty-three.

  Gate.

  The gate.

  The final time at the gate.

  Fourteen Three One.

  "She did it! They're in the top twenty!" I yelled.

  Yelling, screaming, jumping, hugging. Possum got down under the seats, cheering. Joey pounded the arms of his wheelchair.

  I pounded Joey's ears.

  The whole audience got to its feet. The announcer yelled so loud his voice went hoarse over the speakers. "They made it! Ladies and gentlemen, the underdog horse of the century has beaten all the odds. She's run the best time of the n ght, and now she'sgoing to the million-dollar finals!"

  Sweet words. Sweet, sweet words.

  Kara

  We partied outside Estrela's stall. In her stall, Estrela nibbled organic carrots and casually bared her teeth at strangers. Ben lifted a bottle of champagne and poured us all another sip. Joey laughed. "It tickles!"

  "How do you say that n-name?" Mac asked me, nodding at the bottle.

  "Dom Perignon."

  "What's it mean?"

  Ben chuckled. "It's French for, `Ifyou gotta ask how much this costs, you ain't got enough money to buy it."' He took another sip, rolled it on his tongue, and sighed. "But it sure is smooth."

  Lily clutched her plastic cup of champagne like a prize. "And the man who sent it to us for free is a ... a what?"

  "A United States Senator," Miriam explained again, grinning. "He's down here in Florida to play golf with Jeb Bush and he decided to come see the barrel race. Don't that beat all!"

  "Here's to Senator Whittenbrook!" Lula said, holding up her cup. "Karen and Estrela got themselves a fat-cat fan! A Yankee one, to boot!"

  Cheech, Bigfoot, Possum, Roy, Dale and the rest imitated our toast with solemn care. Lily sniffed the champagne before tasting it.

  I looked away furtively. I wished Uncle William had been less generous and more circumspect. Ben watched my reaction, frowning. He tossed his empty cup in a trash can. "Me and Karen are gonna walk around the corner and talk about strategy for tomorrow night, okay? I don't want no reporters to overhear."

  "Me and Estrela and Mr. Darcy'll guard your back," Joey said proudly.

  Ben and I found a private spot beside an empty stall. "About what I said to you this afternoon," he began.

  "Ben, you don't know how much-"

  "I know you think I'm a ladies' man who don't want to settle down. I know there's a lot I don't know about you and you don't know about me, but I meant what I said."

  I stoked his cheeks. "I have so much to tell you-"

  "Ben!" Roy bellowed. He raced around the corner and slid to a stop in the soft wood shavings of the stable hallway. "Joey says he can't breathe, and he feels like his heart's trying to run away!"

  "We can't go without Mr. Darcy," Joey cried while paramedics loaded him onto a stretcher. "Who'll he talk to? Benji, I don't want to leave him here. Please, Benji, I'm scared of getting in an ambulance alone."

  The expression on Ben's face was tragic. "Bro, you'll see him, again. I swear. And there ain't nothing to be scared of. You ain't ever gonna be alone."

  "Will you be with me?"

  "I'll be with you ever step of the way, every minute, every second."

  "What about Karen?"

  "I'm right here," I said hoarsely. Just before the paramedics lifted the stretcher into the ambulance I held Mr. Darcy where Joey could touch him with an ashen hand. Joey stroked his wing. Mr. Darcy bent his blue head to Joey's face and gently nibbled his nose.

  "Boink," Joey said, crying.

  "Boink," Mr. Darcy answered.

  I tried to comfort Mac, Lily and the others-all afraid and on the verge of tears-as we huddled in the ER waiting area of an Orlando hospital. Roy, Dale, Miriam and Lula remained at the arena, shooing unsuspecting admirers away from Estrela's snapping teeth. Mr. Darcy was in their care.

  When Ben finally walked into the waiting room he looked at me, first. I saw despair and resignation in his face, but then he turned to the others with a smile. "Aw, he's fine. Just a little heart flutter. Give him a couple days, and he'll be good as new Soon as they move him to a room for the night, you can all go see him. He's on some good drugs now, and he's taking a nap."

  Lily wiped her eyes and smiled. "See, you all! Karen said Joey would be just fine!" She and Mac hugged Ben. Cheech, Bigfoot and Possum slapped his back and grinned. They believed in good news so easily, and so sincerely.

  "Time for dinner," I announced. I nodded to Ben. "Take a break. I'll be back." He nodded and sat down in a chair, staring into space.

  I guided everyone to the hospital snack bar, popped our combined spare change into vending machines, and organized a dinner of cold sandwiches, cookies and soft drinks. Then I rushed back to the waiting room. Ben sat with his elbows on his knees and his head down. He straightened as I settled beside him.

  "He'll be fine," Ben said automatically. He tapped his chest. "Atrial fibrillation. A racing heart. Irregular, too. But they got it back down to almost normal, already. If they have to, they can put electrodes on him and give his heart a little shock to set the rhythm straight. But so far, so good. Aw, he'll be fine."

  I put a hand atop Ben's. I pulled his hand onto my knee and wound my fingers through his. I leaned against his shoulder. With my other hand, I stroked the back of his hand slowly, with just my fingertips. "Is this your `bad luck' secret? Is it about Joey?"

  He trembled. A gush of air came out of his lungs. His shoulders sagged. "He's only got a few months left," Ben whispered to me. "I've known since spring. He's dyin'."

  I had suspected, worried, and feared as much, but the confirming words were hard to hear. I had always wanted brothers and sisters. Joey had become my little brother, too.

  I bent my head to Ben's, and cried.

  "Sedge, is there anyth
ing we can do?"

  "I'm working on it, my dear, and so is William."

  Uncle William. I'd misjudged him so many times over the years. I'd always assumed he didn't care about me. I had been so wrong. I turned the cell phone away from my mouth. I was crying.

  "My dear," Sedge said gently. "You can't save everyone you love. But you can always depend on your family to help you try."

  Chapter 26

  Ben

  Sunday Morning

  Miriam glared at me. A cup of coffee trembled in her hand. The mermaid charms rattled on her bracelet. "How come we're here, Ben?"

  "You're gonna have to ask the nearest preacher that question." My voice was a hoarse croak. "While you're at it, ask this one: What's the meanin' of life? And how many angels can dance on the head of a stick pin? And don't forget to ask if Elvis is really dead. Joey says the King's still around, somewhere."

  "Ben." She jerked her dyed hair toward the sign over the double doors. "Cardiac Intensive Care. How come Joey's here?"

  I faded. "`Cause his heart's in real bad shape and there's not much they can do about it."

  Tears slid down her face. "I laiew it. Damn. I laiew it."

  I put an arm around her. "Go see about Karen, would ya? She didn't get no sleep all night. Me and her, we sat up in the waitin' room."

  "She was on her cell phone in the hall a minute ago. I saw her."

  I frownied. "She say who she's talli' to?"

  "I dunno. Maybe the World Sports Network folks. Are you giving up on tonight, Ben?"

  "Yeah. Me and Karen agreed. We can't run no barrel race with Joey like this."

  "I'll tell the rest of the crew. You want me to?"

  I felt like I was a hundred years old and tied to lead balloons. "Yeah."

  "Benji, do I get World Sports Network on this TV?"

  I sat by Joey's hospital bed, finagling a remote control. "Probably. Let's see." Poke a button. Poke. Poke. "Yep. Right there. There you go.11

  "Good!" He raised an arm strung with I.V. tubes, then pointed to the heart-monitoring wires attached to his chest under his hospital gown. "How long do I gotta wear all this stuff?"

  "Aw, a day or two. Then we'll go home."

  "Promise?"

  "I swear to you."

  He smiled.

  Karen walked in. She was still dressed in her pink barrel racing outfit from the night before. Her red hair was a wild mess bound up with a rubber band. She had big blue shadows under her blue eyes and her face was pale. But she grinned at Joey. "I have a surprise for your mid-morning snack."

  She set an insulated packing box on his tray table, opened it, and took out a frosty, quart-sized container. She opened it. "Chocolate caramel ice cream with peanut-butter sprinkles. From Cold N'Creamy, Incorporated."

  "Oh, boy! How'd you get that?"

  "The owner of the Cold N'Creamy shops sent it. He saw Estrela on television last night. Since you're one of Estrela's owners, he wanted you have a `Get Well Soon' gift."

  "Wow." Joey balanced the quart container on his stomach and scooped a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth. He swallowed and grinned. "Ice cream before lunchtime! Is it health food?"

  She arched one tired eyebrow in a bad-ass way. "No. It's wickedly sinful and delicious. But it's good for your smile!"

  He ate another spoonful.

  And smiled some more.

  "That ice cream," I said to Karen. "You called some people."

  "Yes. Our secret."

  "Thank. you. Thank you. Thank you." I kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

  "Ben," Joey called.

  We walked back into his cubicle. He sat up in bed, watching TV. Miriam sat beside him, spooning the second quart of ice cream from Cold N'Creamy into her mouth. Joey was full, so she had to take up the cause on his behalf. "Looks like they're gonna send him this damned ice cream every hour on the hour," she grunted.

  Joey pointed at the TV. "They'll show Karen and Estrela tonight. They just said so."

  Me and Karen traded a look. She went to Joey and took his hand. "Joey, Ben and I are going to tell them we aren't racing."

  He gaped at her. "Why?"

  "Because we want to stay here with you, instead."

  cIvV .•Y ? • " VV 11

  I took over. "Bro, it's okay. Karen and Estrela made it to the finals. Nobody ever thought they would. That's good enough. They don't have to win. I promised you I wouldn't leave you here, alone."

  "You can't quit, now!"

  "Joey, it's okay-"

  "I have Miriam. I have ice cream. I have World Sports Network on TV. It's all right for you and Karen to go back to the arena. I want to watch Karen and Estrela win!" His eyes filled with tears. "I do! Benji, please!"

  I looked at Karen. She nodded.

  I looked back at Joey. "If that's what you want, that's what you'll get."

  Chapter 27

  Kara

  Sunday Afternoon

  "I have water in a bottle," Lily said. She rapped the plastic bottle on the trailer's side door. "And a pill. It's called aspirin." Tap, tap, tap. The sound of an aspirin bottle on metal.

  I opened the door. "Thank you. Do I smell bad?"

  Both she and Mac stood there, gazing at me.

  Lily shook her head. "No. You don't smell like throw-up at all."

  Mac nodded. "Anyhow, we d-don't mind."

  The three of us sat on the trailer's running board in the hot September sunshine. My pink cowgirl shirt and blue jeans were freshly washed and dried, thanks to a laundromat Lily and I had found in Orlando. Mr. Darcy squatted morosely on the matted grass in front of us. "Creature," he said, watching an ant struggle its way up a tall stalk of fescue.

  "He misses Joey," Lily said. "So do I."

  "M-me t-too." She and Mac stared at me. I sighed. Damn stutter. There it was, again.

  Mac bent his head near mine. "You know what I t-think about sstuttering, n-now?"

  I leaned against him. "What?" I whispered.

  "That if you d-do it, too, it's nothing to be ashamed about."

  I couldn't speak for a few seconds. I merely continued to lean against him.

  Lily bent our head into our huddle. "I know what that ant's thinking."

  "What?" I asked gently.

  "That all you have to do is get to the top of your own big, tall piece of grass. If you can do that, you're special, no matter how far anybody else can climb their piece of grass."

  My throat ached. "You are two of the wisest people I've ever known."

  Ben

  A person can set worry aside and carry on. It's like you lock your sadness in a cage, knowing it'll escape later but not now. I tried to think about the night ahead of us, instead of about Joey. Tomorrow I'd have to tell him that he wasn't going home from the hospital anytime soon. Maybe not ever, but I wouldn't let him know that.

  An executive from World Sports Network came to the stables and gathered the twenty finalists. "Drama. That's what we're looking for tonight," she said. "This is the climax! Emotion, passion, real feelings! So don't get shy on me! If one of our camera crews follows you around backstage this evening, open up!

  "Give us your honest reactions. If you have a complaint about one of the other contestants, or a worry, or a personal problem, share it with the camera. America loves honesty."

  Karen stood beside me with her pink arms folded over her pink cowgirl shirt. Her worn-out eyes looked like puffy pink slits. "Perhaps," she said in her coolest little perhaps voice, "what America loves is honest competition, not the theatrical equivalent of naked mud-wrestling on horseback."

  Tami Jo snorted. "Like anyone wants to see you naked."

  Karen ignored her.

  The exec eyed Karen with a sour smile. "If only I could convince you girls to mud-wrestle naked on horseback. The network would give me a bonus and a corner office."

  "We're women. Not girls."

  "Oh? It's not called the Million Dollar Cow Women Ride-Off: And by the way, get the make-up people to dab some hemorrhoi
d cream around your eyes. It'll shrink those bags."

  Tami Jo laughed.

  I pulled Karen down a hallway before things got out of hand. "How you feeling?" I asked.

  "Not as exhausted as you, I expect."

  "I admit, I feel like I been rode hard and put up wet. I gotta go to the hospital and check in with Joey and Miriam again. I promised him I'd come back before dinner." I paused. "To help him eat the next quart of Cold N'Creamy that comes in."

  "Sorry. I'll make a call."

  "Miriam says the nurses in CCU are takiu' bets as to which one of them can eat the most leftover ice cream without gettin' high cholesterol."

  She smiled. "I wish I had a quart. I'm going to drink another cup of coffee, now. With extra sugar in it. And then I'll eat some hearty protein to off-set the glycemic roller coaster the sugar will produce. I need all the energy I can get."

  Protein? There was only one kind of protein within walking distance, and we both knew what. I pointed toward the arena's food court. "Grade-A, Florida-raised, all-beef hotdogs and quarter-pound burgers. Thataway."

  She sagged. "Don't tell anybody I've finally been corrupted."

  "I prefer to call it, `Won over."'

  She peered at my plaid shirt front. "What's that sticking out of your pocket?"

  "Aw, nothing."

  "A soy granola bar!"

  "I brought it for you."

  She looked up at me in wonder. "I'm so proud of you."

  "Don't tell nobody I been corrupted," I mimicked gently.

  Her eyes filled with just as much tenderness. "I prefer to think of it as `Won over."'

  Kara

  Five p.m. I found an empty stall full of soft, clean wood shavings. I napped in one corner. Lily and Mac insisted on guarding the stall door. They sat just outside it, in lawn chairs. I dreamed about them. Their soft, sweet voices came to me, just as in my childhood dreams. And then ...

  "I have to get Karen," Possum said loudly.

  I opened my eyes.

  "No, no, she's sleeping in the wood chips!" I heard Lily say.

  "Sh-she needs her n-nap," Mac added. "Or they're gonna p-put cream on her eyes to shrink `em."