No Law Against Love

by Deborah MacGillivray

  He reached up to brush away a wayward curl, rubbed it between his fingers.

  “Is all of you this soft, Felicity?” He leaned forward and murmured against her ear, “I always wondered. I thought about you every day I was gone. Your memory haunted me.”

  He wagged his finger in front of her face. “And you’ll not be marrying me out of any warped sense of loyalty like you did with my brother.”

  He saw the smile lighting her eyes. “And why are you so sure I’ll wed you, Mr. Major?”

  Jake wanted to shout with joy. It was probably the first time she’d joked since Jethro’s death. Yes, this woman was his, and he planned to make her live again. Had every intention of making her happy for the rest of their lives.

  “Because you love me.” He looked deep into her eyes, suddenly unsure again. “You do, don’t you?”

  His heart soared when she nodded.

  “It’s the only reason to ever marry someone, you know. Love. We both made mistakes in the past, Sweetheart, but we have every day of the rest of our lives to correct that mistake. I thank God for granting us the second chance.”

  As he looked around the small cell, a grin crossed his face and his eyes glinted with merriment.

  “Why, I might even invite Mickey Moss to the ceremony.”

  Felicity frowned. “I shall never speak to that vile man again. He locked us up—”

  “Exactly. He’s smarter than either of us give him credit for. I have no doubt he locked us together to make us talk to each other and admit what everyone else in this town probably already knew.” He brushed his lips against the ridge of her ear.

  “That we still love each other?” she whispered.

  “Yes—and to think it took some silly antiquated laws to make us come to our senses. Maybe they weren’t so silly, after all. They obviously served a purpose in the past.” His eyes held hers and he saw all the love she’d tried so hard to keep hidden from him.

  “They certainly served one now.”

  Visit Leanne’s website at

  www.leanneburroughs.com

  I Swear

  Michelle Scaplen

  • New Jersey - It’s against the law to use profanity

  “Oh, Cheryl, that’s too funny. Let me hear another,” April asked her friend, after she told her about the law against racing horses on the New Jersey Turnpike. They were sitting at Cheryl’s cubicle in the Raritan Press building looking up ideas for April’s next story. Cheryl wrote the movie reviews, while April wrote fluff pieces for the local newspaper. April didn’t mind admitting to that. She enjoyed writing the kind of articles one would find in the community section of the paper, the kind people could read to put a smile on their faces after flipping through the front pages and reading about war, corruption, and the Mets’ third straight loss.

  Cheryl scrolled down on the computer. “Oh, this one is great, and right here in Raritan. Can you believe this? Apparently it’s against the law to use profanity.” It was another in the list of silly laws that was on the website Cheryl had found.

  Each state had them—laws that had been on the books since the time a town probably was established. Laws so outdated they wouldn’t apply in today’s time. “No profanity, huh?” April sat up straighter in her chair, her mind instantly buzzing with ideas. “I can only imagine your brother, Ethan, trying to impose that law.”

  Ethan Winters. Blond hair, blue eyes, and one hundred percent man. And one hundred was probably the number of hearts he’s broken, April concluded.

  “He’d have to arrest the whole damn town—oops I said damn. Does that mean I just broke the law?” Cheryl asked with a laugh.

  “With the way everyone swears around here, I doubt anyone is going to turn you in. But how does that sound for an idea for an article? I’ll write about how profanity is now an acceptable form of communication and can be heard on school playgrounds, or how even eighty-year-old grandmothers who get their hair done once a week at the beauty salon swear all the time, too. Of course, I’ll need to research this.”

  She started by borrowing her six-year-old niece as a decoy, and spent the next afternoon watching and listening to children at the playground. Sixteen, April counted. Ten of the F word, three S words, and three other words she wouldn’t even repeat. Little boys swore, thinking it the funniest thing in the world. Some teenage girls cursed into their cell phones, and then there were the two stressed out mothers who used them while fighting with their toddlers when they’d pleaded to go down the slide just one more time.

  The next morning she went to the hair salon to have some highlights put in—all in the name of research, of course. Not because she hadn’t done anything new to her hair in the last year. While she waited for her hair to process, she hid behind a Star magazine pretending to be interested in what Brad and Jennifer were up to this week. April was surprised at what she’d heard. Women as old as her grandmother used four letter words just as frequently as the children she’d witnessed the previous day.

  Even though she was thirty years old, she remembered a time when people censored their words before they spoke. Children said words like doody or poopy instead of the four letter words they used now. She’d never heard her grandmother swear in her own home, never mind in public. Had profanity become such an acceptable form of language nowadays that nobody considered censoring what they said anymore?

  Working on the story made her realize how guilty she was of the crime. She forced herself to put a dollar in a can at home every time she swore. She decided she’d use the money to buy the fantastic boots she’d seen in a store window. Though ashamed of her lack of restraint, if she kept it up, at this pace she’d have the boots by the end of the month!

  April couldn’t remember where she’d seen it, but sometime in the past she’d read an article that brought up the question, if you swear all the time, what do you say when you’re really angry? She thought long and hard about this and it made sense to her. And it didn’t say much for people’s self-control if they had to say ‘shit’ just because they found no close parking spaces at Wal-Mart, forcing them to walk an extra fifty yards—even though the weather was sunny and warm. And if that were the case, whatever would people say when their cars broke down on deserted highways in the middle of the night during a snow storm?

  It had started out as a joke, but suddenly the tone of her article grew more serious. After all, everybody swore. You heard it wherever you went. She wondered how anyone could possibly have a law against it. Surely it had to be unconstitutional. But, after researching and listening to all the profanity coming from everyone’s mouths, April thought maybe the citizens of her town should clean up their language. Three days later, her article was printed with a more substantial tone. And April had never been more proud of her work.

  ~~~

  “You have to print a retraction!” Ethan demanded, clearly startling April. Her back was to him as she thumbed through a filing cabinet searching for something. She turned, and a brief smile touched her full pink lips before she walked away from him through Raritan Press’ offices. He slowly walked behind her, enjoying the way her hips swayed with each step she took.

  “I’m sorry. Did someone call the cops?” she teased, her tone mocking.

  Ethan came straight from working the midnight to eight a.m. shift. He’d kept his uniform on hoping to intimate, and maybe even impress, April while he asked for her help. “Yes, someone called the police! Fifteen times in the last two days! You know what they wanted? They wanted fine, law abiding citizens arrested. And it’s all because of your damn article.”

  April sat at her desk, looked up at him and tsked. She actually had the audacity to wag her finger at him and say, “tsk, tsk.” Her attitude didn’t help his already bad mood. She might be the cutest woman in the state of New Jersey, but since the day he’d met her, she’d done nothing but drive him crazy.

  “I’m sorry Ethan, I can only print a retraction for something that isn’t true, and I checked my facts thoroughly bef
ore printing the article.”

  Ethan ran his fingers through his hair. “Well there has to be something you can do.” The edition with her article hit the stands over the weekend. He always skipped over the headline news to read April’s articles first. He’d laughed when he’d read her ridiculous article that it was illegal to swear in their small New Jersey town. But it was no longer a laughing matter after the calls kept coming over the radio.

  “I was called over to Mom and Pops’ Diner for a domestic disturbance yesterday,” he explained. “Turns out Pops wanted Mom arrested because she told him his chicken salad tasted like shit. The woman is seventy-five years old! I think she’s earned the right to say anything she wants to. And by the way, I’ve tasted the chicken salad, and it does taste like…”

  When she wagged her finger at him again, he bit back the four letter word. Instead he asked, “How am I supposed to arrest someone for using profanity, April?”

  ~~~

  “Well I guess…” April began to say before her telephone rang. She held up a hand to him indicating he should wait a minute. “April Rose,” she said into the phone. She paused for a moment and Ethan saw her green eyes light up and a smile brighten her face. “Yes, yes, of course I can be right there.”

  When she hung up the phone, she quickly got out of her chair and headed for the door.

  “What’s going on?” Ethan demanded.

  “Can’t talk. I gotta go. That was CableNewsJersey on the phone. They want to interview me about the article.”

  Furious, Ethan followed her out to her car. “You can’t do that!” he shouted. “The whole town watches that station. How am I going to do my job if I’m answering ridiculous calls when there are real crimes going on in this town?”

  April stopped just as she reached to open her car door. Her short red hair blew recklessly in the wind. “Ethan your problems stopped being mine a long time ago.” Without another word, she got in the car and drove away.

  That left nothing else for Ethan to do except get in his car and follow her.

  ~~~

  “This is going to be fantastic,” Tina Long, the show’s host and producer bubbled as she walked onto the stage.

  April sat in her chair, trying not to fidget. The bright lights from above probably were melting the make-up that was caked on her face. This is so not going to be great.

  Seeing Ethan stalk into the studio after April, Tina had come up with a plan to tape a debate between ‘the journalist and the police officer.’ Ethan sat smuggly across from her, looking as cool and as handsome as could be. She wanted to smack him.

  “My notes,” Tina said, walking back off the stage. “Where the fuck are my notes?” she asked her assistant who frantically looked through some papers, obviously fearful of her boss.

  “You think you’re funny, don’t you?” April leaned close to ask Ethan.

  “Yep, I do. Now do you think I look better with my cap on,” Ethan asked, placing his police cap on his head, “or off?” He removed it from his head with a killer smile on his face.

  “You’re not going to win this debate,” she said, ignoring his question.

  “Oh I think I will.” He settled his cap on his lap. “ I happen to know I’m very good at riling you up and making you do and say things you never meant to. I know I can get you so frustrated they’ll have to beep out all the naughty words you say.”

  A few choice words came to mind, but she bit her lip instead. “Yeah, riling me up never was a problem with you was it? It’s the kissing and making up you never quite figured out.”

  Ethan looked at her with the devil in his eyes and lowered his voice to a sexy whisper. “I happen to remember many times I was very good at kissing and making up.”

  April remembered those times as well. They’d argue over silly things, most of which she couldn’t remember now. But she could relive every passion-filled night in vivid detail. He’d say he was sorry, or she’d apologize, then they’d kiss and fall into bed.

  Except for that last time—when neither of them would admit to being wrong.

  “You’re impossible!”

  Ethan Winters had a beautiful grin—and he turned it on her now.

  “I know you are, but what am I?”

  “Is that how you plan to win this debate, by acting like a child?”

  “Nope.”

  And he didn’t.

  He spoke eloquently and like a true professional. He stated his reasons the law was outdated. “Phone calls to the police station by women who are fed up with their husband’s language has wasted taxpayer’s money and the police force’s valuable time.”

  April thought she didn’t do so bad herself. Without sounding prudish, she explained, “Vulgar words are heard everywhere. Even at the diner or grocery store—whether you want to hear the words or not. No one considers the sensibilities of those around them. And what about our children? They repeat things their fathers say, and other children pick up on it.” Turning to stare directly into Ethan’s eyes, she said, “And although I believe the law shouldn’t actively be enforced, I believe controlling our language is something the citizens of Raritan should think about.”

  Ever aware the camera was rolling, Ethan asked her, “And do you practice what you preach?” He smiled, looking like the cat who’d just eaten the canary.

  “I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of using profanity, but since doing the research I’ve cleaned up my vocabulary.” She narrowed her eyes, but pasted a smile to her face. “What about you, Officer Winters? How are your manners? Do you set a good example for our town?“

  “Certainly,” Ethan replied. Although most people who didn’t know him wouldn’t have noticed, April watched his left eye twitch as she caught him in the lie.

  “Really?” she said, hoping to get some good final words in. “You could go a day—or a week—without using one word of profanity?”

  She noticed a veil of sweat break out on his forehead. Smiling, she doubted it was only from the heat of the cameras. Finally, she’d gotten Officer Calm nervous!

  “Uh, yeah, sure I could. Longer than even you.”

  “I’d love to see that,” April replied dryly.

  “Yes, yes. I would love to see that as well.” Eyes alight with excitement, Tina Long looked confidently into the camera and asked, “How about you, New Jersey, wouldn’t you love to see which one of our guests slips up first? Perhaps while the whole state watches.”

  Suddenly April became very nervous. Tina seemed to be the type of woman who looked for her shot at fame. She was very aggressive and eager. April could only imagine what was running through the woman’s mind.

  ~~~

  It had been two days since Ethan had been locked in April’s house. Under different circumstances, that would have been something he’d have been excited about. But with cameras set up in every corner, in almost every room, and with microphones carefully placed throughout the house, Ethan was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

  Although both he and April had tried to object, April’s editor thought it a great promotional idea, while the mayor thought it would help the police department’s image. “Now just behave yourself,” the mayor had warned.

  So for the past two days, Ethan and April were forced into Raritan Township’s version of a reality show. Cameras were everywhere in the house but the bathroom, and they were also free to use the back yard without being watched. Too bad it’d been raining since he’d arrived.

  The footage would be chopped up into little pieces and thirty minutes of it a day would air in prime time until one of them slipped, with of course any swear words being bleeped out. Ethan was tempted to look directly in the camera and say “fuck you,” just to end this, but he was a competitive soul being the youngest of four brothers and one sister, and giving in just wouldn’t do.

  Living with April took some getting used to. Especially while he had to spend his nights on the couch, when there was a perfectly comfortable bed with a soft warm body in the other roo
m. He missed sharing that bed and his life with her. Living under the same roof, and not being able to share everything made him wish for things he feared he’d never have, and he felt trapped because of it.

  He’d just have to make April annoyed enough that she’d say something wrong first, otherwise he feared he might just have to grab her and kiss her senseless whether thousands of people were watching or not.

  Ethan flipped the next page of the outdoor life magazine he brought with him. Out of the corner of his eye he watched April work on her computer at the kitchen table. She must be going as stir crazy as him. He had to end this! He started to hum, a tuneless high pitch hum that would push anyone over the edge.

  April continued tapping away at her computer. Next he tried to annoy her by rapping. “April’s gonna give up…I know she’s gonna give up…pttt ptutt pstt tutu…April’s gonna give up I know she gonna give up…pttt ptttput pstttut…” She turned around and smiled at him, then continued her work.

  That smile was almost worth it all. And Ethan had to wonder if he was more upset that he had lost his freedom or because she wasn’t paying him enough attention. When they dated, almost two years ago, April would always smile at him and look at him with her beautiful green eyes as if he were her moon and her stars. They only dated for nine months, but they’d been the best nine months of his life.

  ~~~

  April signed off and closed her computer. She was in the middle of her next article, writing about what it was like being locked in a house with a man who pushes all your buttons. But she couldn’t concentrate anymore when she started thinking about some of the good buttons he would push on her, too.

  Like while they were dating, and she had a bad day and wasn’t in the mood for being foolish, Ethan would take her to play miniature golf and had her relaxed and smiling by the second hole. And after being stuck in a relationship with a workaholic New York Times journalist who managed to find time for two other girlfriends on the side, it felt good to have a man who made her happiness his number one priority.