Beat (The Beat and The Pulse #1)

by Amity Cross

  “I’m trouble?” I slapped him on the chest. “Why aren’t you at Beat? Shouldn’t you be training by now?”

  He hesitated, running his free hand over his face. “Some guy is there fixing all the crap I broke.”

  “Ah, I see. Wanna go back and do a round in the gym, then?” I didn’t say anything else about his meltdown, I let that one slide for the moment.

  Ash glanced down the street toward Beat. He looked conflicted for a moment before shaking his head. “I think I should sit today out.”

  “Ash Fuller, the machine, taking a day off?” I exclaimed.

  “Lets do something,” he declared, ignoring my smart ass comment.

  “Like what?”

  He shrugged. I wondered if this was man code for wanting to keep me to himself for a little while longer. Sounded great to me.

  “Well, it’s a nice day out. We can go to a park someplace and have lunch?”

  “A picnic?” Ash scoffed.

  “What, does that ruin your manly fighter cred or something?”

  He grinned at me, eyes sparkling. “Yes.”

  Somehow, we found ourselves in a park near the city center, with a plastic bag full of sandwiches, juice, strawberries and one of those cans of whipped cream. Ash grumbled the entire way like a five year old, but I reminded him that taking a day off was his idea.

  We’d downed the sandwiches, or I should say that Ash inhaled most of them, in easy silence. It was just bordering on awkward when Ash picked up the cream, aimed it at me and squirted. My mouth opened in a gasp as a long trail of cream splattered into my cleavage.

  “Ash!” I shrieked at him.

  “Here,” he crawled over to me. “Let me lick it off.”

  He shoved his face into my breasts and licked, smearing cream all over his face and we fell backwards onto the grass. Laughing, I fisted my hands into his hair and shoved him deeper into my cleavage.

  “I really fuckin’ like your tits Ren, but I also like to breathe,” Ash grumbled, rolling off me. He held me against his chest, wiping the cream with a finger and letting me lick it off. Groaning as my tongue wrapped around each of his fingers and sucked, he flexed his cock into my thigh.

  “Cream makes you horny?” I asked with a smirk.

  “Your mouth sucking it off me does,” he said through a heavy breath.

  I sat up as he went to shove a hand up my top. “We’re in the middle of a park.”

  He followed me, sliding a big hand over my thigh and zeroing in on the sweet spot. “I’m a beat away from not giving a shit.”

  My pussy began to squirm at the thought of Ash taking me and I suddenly wished we hadn’t gone on a picnic, and had found someplace quiet and private, instead.

  “What is it about you that-” I clamped my mouth closed. I thought dirty things about him all the time, but saying them? Shit.

  “What?” He tried to find a way into my knickers, pushing a hand up the leg of my shorty shorts.

  “That-” I felt my face start to burn.

  “After last night, you’re embarrassed to tell me all the dirty fuckin’ things in your head?”

  I gasped as his fingers almost came in contact with my clit and I slapped his hand away.

  “Tell me,” he whispered into my ear.

  Gazing into his eyes I said, “I wanna fuck you all the time.”

  He palmed my ass, eyes darkening. “You have no idea how hard I am, Ren.”

  I wiggled against him. “Oh, I think I can take a guess.”

  “Fuck this park,” he whispered into my ear.

  He stared at me while I stared up at the sky, watching clouds skim across the blue. I had so many questions I wanted to ask but I would end up sounding like a broken record. I didn’t know which ones I was allowed to ask and which ones would push him over the edge. Why he’d snapped the other day, why he’d been such an asshole to me all this time, why I couldn’t see him fight at The Underground. I got that he was all alpha male and felt the insatiable need to protect what was his, but I didn’t need it. I didn’t want to be wrapped in cotton wool.

  “What are you thinking about?” Ash asked.

  Turning my head, I studied his features from his emerald eyes, his brow that was still marked from that cut he obviously got at The Underground...

  “Why do you go there?” I asked, wiping cream off his face with a thumb.

  His eyes narrowed, giving away that I’d asked the wrong thing and my heart did a nose dive. I pulled back, breaking contact, fear rising hot and hard. If I did the wrong thing he’d leave, but I couldn’t go on with all these secrets between us. His secrets.

  “Ren,” he said thinly. “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “You can't see it,” he exclaimed, fisting his hands into his hair.

  “Why not?” I cried, scrambling to my feet. “What are you so afraid of?”

  He stood and straightened to his full height, leveling his gaze to mine. “I'm not afraid. Never dare think for one second that fear lives in me, Ren.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” I bit back with ultimate sarcasm.

  “You’re not going.”

  “Why?”

  We stood staring at each other like stubborn children.

  Finally, Ash started to cave. “They’ll use you to get to me.”

  “Let them try.”

  “Ren, you don’t understand. They’re not nice people…” He ran a hand over his face. “They’ll try to hurt you.”

  Is that why he fought us for so long? He didn’t want me to get hurt? It was like I kept telling my Dad, I was a grown ass fucking woman who could make my own decisions. I was as tough as they came and I wouldn’t let anyone touch me. If they did, then they’d better be willing to pay the consequences.

  The thought must have translated to my face because Ash stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I fell against his chest with a sigh and held him close.

  “I don’t want them to touch you,” he murmured into my hair.

  “I’m not a dainty little flower, Ash.”

  He started to laugh, his chest rumbling. “No, you’re not.”

  “Who was on the phone the other day?” I asked. I didn’t have to elaborate because who could forget that.

  “Ren.” His grip tightened around me like he was afraid I was the one who’d run from him. He had it so fucking wrong. “There’s things I’ve done that I don’t know if I can ever tell you about…”

  “You don’t have to tell me straight away,” I whispered as a pair of joggers passed us.

  “I lost everything,” he said suddenly, fingers biting into to my arms. “I'm trying to get it all back, but-”

  “But what?”

  “What if I lose it again?”

  My heart did a little flip-flop and I glanced up at him. “You won't.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I don't. I just-” I hesitated and Ash cupped my face, his gaze searching mine like I had all the answers. “I believe in you.”

  He captured me in a kiss, his tongue grazing my bottom lip. Opening up to him, I pushed him to go deeper, to take what he needed from me. His comfort was my pleasure and I needed it more than he knew.

  He pulled away first, brushing his lips against mine. “I know I can trust you, Ren. But I can’t trust them.”

  I doubted I would ever know what was going through Ash’s mind, but this was a start. At first there’d be a trickle. A thought here and there, and before long, we’d know everything. I wanted to give him everything.

  “If you say you trust me, then you should be able to trust that I’m strong enough to handle it.”

  Ash stared at me and began grinding his jaw. It was a glaring indicator that he was about to give me a severe case of emotional whiplash. Abruptly, he picked up our rubbish and grabbed my hand, dragging me across the grass like a caveman.

  “Where are we going?” I almost stumbled trying to keep up with his long stride.

  “The Underground,”
he spat over his shoulder. “When you see it, you’ll understand why I never want you to go back there. If you see it, then maybe you’ll shut the fuck up about it.”

  My heart started to beat wildly at the thought of seeing this infamous illegal fighting racket. Shit, I’d pressured him to tell me about it but I’d never thought he’d cave and actually take me. Images of blood, sweat and violence pounded into my brain and I felt my blood begin to thicken.

  Ash was right to keep me from it because I was already itching. I hadn’t even set foot in the place and I wanted to be a part of it. I desperately wanted to see Ash fighting without limits and watch the beast inside him dominate in the ring…but what I wasn’t prepared for was wanting to let mine free, too.

  Chapter 26

  Ren

  The Underground turned out to be a makeshift arena set up in an abandoned warehouse in the backstreets of Abbotsford. Right outside Melbourne’s CBD and right in the middle of an underdeveloped black spot which was nothing short of a property developers wet dream.

  A lot of things didn’t surprise me these days, but it probably should’ve been one of them. Ash having a car and driving had me more flabbergasted than anything else. He parked half up a gutter and hauled me out the front like a sack of potatoes. He had skills, but they didn’t extend to parallel parking.

  Taking my hand, he led me down the street where a few groups of people were all walking toward a derelict warehouse covered in graffiti. A few people stopped to gawk at Ash as we passed and I stared right back. Was he that well known here? They were acting like he was some kind of celebrity.

  When we got inside, I had to do a double take. The whole place was a hive of activity, music blared from a sound system rigged to the wall, bleachers had been set up around a cage where all the action happened, and a bar was at the far end. As Ash led me through the thickening crowd, people tried to call out or grab his arm to get his attention, but as he strode through the center of it all, everyone parted without hesitation to let him by.

  I was too stunned to give him shit about it. My eyes were like saucers as they took everything in. This was where he was going every night?

  Cash was being flung about the place like it was nothing, some serious bets being put down on the matches for that night. There were several men, who were probably affiliated with another kind of underground, standing by large chalkboards with odds drawn up.

  “You’re two to one?” I exclaimed, seeing Ash’s name at the top.

  “Yep.” He seemed pretty pleased with himself.

  “Are you winning?”

  He shrugged. “I’m top at the moment.”

  Shit, fuck, ass. In this place Ash was a god. No wonder all those people had been foaming at the mouth for a tiny slice of attention. Picnics and whipped cream seemed like stupid kid stuff compared to this place and I felt like an idiot for making him go out with me earlier.

  “I never told anyone about this place. About what I do,” Ash murmured into my ear.

  I winked up at him. “So, this means you like me?”

  With a moan, he grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd, ignoring all the people calling out to him as we passed. Then he was dragging me down a hallway and into a long change room. It was still early in the night and there weren’t any fighters back here yet, so we were totally alone, the dull roar of the throng outside the only sound.

  Ash backed me against the wall, pinning me in place with his hips and my heart started beating faster.

  “I fight to get the anger out of my system,” he said. “The rules here are that there are no rules. For a guy like me, it’s a fuckin’ field day, Ren. It’s what I need to sate this.” He thumped his fist over his heart. “You saw me snap. That wasn’t fuckin’ pretty, but it was mild. I didn’t want you to see me like that. I don’t want you to see this. Please let me take you back to Beat.”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t going anywhere. “If I can’t see you at your worst, then who am I really falling for?” His breath caught and he let his head drop, breaking eye contact. “If I’m falling for you, Ash, then I want to fall for all of you, not some poor imitation.”

  He hissed and let me go, turning away and running a hand over his face.

  “What’s so bad that you keep wanting to push me away, Ash?”

  He glanced at me, but couldn’t meet my gaze. “So many things.”

  “I haven’t run yet,” I said. “And you’ve done some pretty assholey things, you know.”

  He laughed wryly. “That’s putting it lightly.”

  “Then tell me something,” I pleaded.

  Ash was confused for a moment and he parted his lips and sighed. “I’m winning, Ren,” he murmured. “I’m winning all this money and I didn’t know what to do with it anymore. I gave it to Beat…I-”

  “You’ve been giving my Dad money?” Was he worried that I’d push him away if I found out he was financing Beat? After everything my Dad did to Mum and I, and everything since, he thought it would be a deal breaker between us?

  “I’m not angry with you,” I said. “Why would I be?”

  “He fucked you over your entire life, Ren. He left you and your Mum, he didn’t tell his family, he put you in a closet, he-”

  I placed my fingers over his lips. “Shut the fuck up, Ash.”

  “But-” Since he didn’t get the hint, I stifled his words with my entire palm.

  “No, it’s not a good situation, but I’ve made the most of it. I’ll probably never get along with Monica, I might not ever reconcile completely with Dad and I might not ever be a part of their family, but I’m beyond caring. If it wasn’t for my Mum wanting me to find him, I would never have found Beat, I would never have found fighting and I would never have found you. So, what’s a bad situation? I don’t feel like I’m in one anymore.”

  Ash tore my hand away from his mouth and crashed his lips into mine. He pushed his tongue against mine greedily, fisting his hand into my hair and tugging. I sagged against him, moaning softly into his mouth. He sure knew how to make a woman weak at the knees.

  A wolf whistle split the air around us and Ash pulled back with an annoyed hiss. A group of beefcake men had walked into the change room, interrupting our little interlude. They must be some of the guys on the board for that night’s bouts and I looked them over. They were all built and mean looking, but none of them looked as toned and focused as Ash.

  “Do you want to see some of the fights?” Ash murmured into my ear. “I’m not scheduled for a little while.”

  I nodded. Watching the fights spoke to all the wild parts inside me.

  His big hand closed around mine and he led me from the change room, away from all the eyes that were trained on us, and out into the arena. People had started to sit in the bleachers, the din becoming borderline obnoxious. There was a section near the front that seemed to be left open for special popular types, and a guy who looked like security nodded as Ash pulled me into the front row. Sitting on the bench and kicking my feet onto the railing, I cast my gaze around the cage. There were quite a few spots on the mat that looked suspiciously like blood stains…all brown and splattered.

  A group of scantily clad women passed below us, puffing up their chests and flipping their hair as they caught sight of Ash, but he was too busy looking right over the top of them. Still pissed me off, though.

  “They really like you here,” I drawled, eyeing a woman with fake looking tits that had lagged behind her friends and was licking her lips, eyes plastered on my man.

  “They let me fight every night,” Ash said, oblivious to the extra attention he was getting. “People keep wanting to see if they can take me out.”

  I glared at the woman with the big tits and Ash glanced up to see what I was staring at. The woman puffed her chest out and smiled, grasping at her chance to steal him from me. I went to step forward and give her a piece of my fist, but a thick arm wound around my waist before I could even stand.

  “You're sexy when you're jealo
us,” Ash whispered in my ear.

  “I don't like the way she’s looking at you.”

  “I don't like fake tits and fake personalities, Ren.”

  I snorted.

  “Need I remind you that I'm here with you? Or should I just take you out back and fuck you stupid instead?”

  “Sure,” I said, my lady bits beginning to constrict in excitement. “I feel the need to mark my territory.”

  He pulled me into his side, the crowd pressing around us as the bleachers began to fill to capacity. “Every night, I come back to train with you. Before I had the guts to show up that first time, I never stuck around. I was always alone.”

  “Why?” I whispered.

  “Because I wanted to own you, Ren. I wanted your fuckin’ pussy, not theirs.”

  I didn't know if I liked the sound of him owning me, but I wanted to own him, so I guess we were even.

  “What about that douche from the cafe?” he growled. “Did you fuck him?”

  “Ash.”

  “That thing you’re feeling in here,” he said sliding a hand over my breast and resting his palm over my heart. “I’m feeling the same thing, Spitfire.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath as an announcement boomed over the speakers.

  “That’s Hamish,” Ash said, nodding at a huge redheaded man who was walking toward the cage. “He goes by Goblin and the other guy is Fox.”

  “What do you go by?” I asked, knowing that he didn’t have a silly fighter name.

  Ash snorted. “It doesn’t suit me.”

  Smiling, I turned my attention back to the cage where the two men wearing nothing but shorts and colored bandages on their hands prowled into the center. They were all ripped abs and everything, but I didn’t stare at them because I found it attractive…I stared with a more specific appreciation. Getting into that kind of shape took a will and dedication that not many people had the balls to follow through with. I wanted to see how they approached each other, how they countered, how they attacked. With minimal rules, all the things I knew about MMA would be useless.