by RJ Heaton
The car stops and my eyes stare at the rock wall we had built together. Suddenly, the lump in my throat makes it hard to swallow. It’s all the same—but somehow it’s all changed. This house is no longer my home. One thing is for sure, there is no way … My thought is interrupted when Sarah opens the door and stands with her arms crossed across her body in a defensive mode like I’m invading her space.
“Do you think she got the memo?” I give my sister an incredulous smirk.
“Does it matter? Her name is not on the deed, and I am not letting that girl stay in my house and play mommy to my children for one more day.”
Heather’s lips turn up into a devilish grin, “Go get em’ tiger. Rawr!”
It would be a more dramatic entrance if I was able to walk up to the sidewalk.”
“Nah, not when you have a golden chariot.” I look to the back seat at my glorious “Golden Chariot” the silver colored metal and blue seat cover gleams in the sun. I glance back at my sister, and she shrugs.
“If that’s golden to you I want some of what you’re having.”
“Okay silver,” she adds and we both laugh. Laughter helps lessen the anxiety of the impending conversation.
Heather hops out and grabs my chair and brings it around for me. Sarah’s ice cold stare would maybe make me shudder on any other day, but the fiery heat radiating from my smoldering temper fizzle’s her ice to a hissing steam. These life sucking vampires that keep trying to drain me need to find another victim. I’m no longer letting them use me or purge my existence. My head is held high as Heather wheels me up the sidewalk and stops dead center in front of Sarah.
“What are you doing here? Haven’t you done enough damage already?” The accusation that any of this is my fault curdles my blood. I laugh out loud which just causes her scowl to deepen. “Yes Nikki,” she hisses my name. “My fiancé is in jail because of you.”
“Because of me?” I can’t hold back the grinding of my teeth.
“We’re in love and you can’t just leave us alone.” I don’t know if I should pity her because she’s stupid to believe what’s coming from her mouth, or slap her because she’s just plain stupid. And to think for a moment I thought that she could’ve possibly been the one for Lance. I was so wrong, and I am so very thankful that he never ended up with this dumb broad.
“Do you know why he is in jail? Do you know why he was at my sister’s house in the middle of the night throwing a temper tantrum like an immature child? Because he was upset the he got served with divorce papers. That sure doesn’t sound like someone that’s so ‘In Love’,” I do air quotes, “and ready for marriage to me. He hurt my brother-in-law, he was going to hurt my sister, he was probably there with the intent to hurt me, because I sent divorce papers.”
“You’re lying!” Sarah spats at me.
“You’re in denial!” I angrily reply. “And your so called lover is in a whole barrel of pickles. Should I recite all of the charges he’s facing?” Sarah’s shoulders roll forward and she lets out a long breath—not in full resignation—but even if she doesn’t believe why he was there, the truth is that Sean is in serious trouble.
“So why are you here?” Maybe seeing me on my own door steps, the realization might be finally hitting her. I almost feel guilty, yet again … nah.
“Sadly,” I say batting my eyelashes. “My attorney has been able to get a court date arranged for the divorce hearing this week. Since Sean is incapacitated all assets will be turned over to me …” I lean back in my wheel chair and look at the house Sean and I built together. “I’m not quite sure what I am going to do with it yet. Maybe I’ll tear it down to rubble—just like he did with our marriage.” My eyes meet the panic in Sarah’s eyes.
“But I live here. This is my home. We’re getting married.” The shock and hurt that dance across her inconsequential eyes is not lost on me. This poor girl must have thought what her and Sean shared was real. Her strong pretense is now gone. She’s flailing without a lifeline. My compassion hasn’t completely dissolved—even though I shouldn’t have to shed a single thread for this husband stealing little …
“As far as Sean goes, after next week you can have him. I’m sure he’ll look great in an orange jumpsuit for the wedding.” I smile envisioning Sean getting married behind a thick wall of glass wearing a horrific burnt orange giant onesie at his wedding. “Who knows maybe he can build you the house of your dreams and then crap on you too?” I shrug my shoulder like it’s no big deal. This type of thing happens all of the time. “I am feeling nice today though … you have a month to be out.”
“What?” her hands fly down from their criss-crossed position. She looks like she could punch me. Some deep dark part of me is daring her to do it. Nothing would make me feel more warn and fuzzy inside to get her for assault charges also. Regrettably she turns and walks away.
“A month.” I say, as the door slams in our faces and Heather and I let out audible laughs at the same time.
“Well, that was pleasant.” Heather acquiesces.
“It’s almost over.” The thought washes over my senses.
My first instincts are to call Shad and tell him about everything that has happened today, but I pause when I dig out my phone. I haven’t heard from him all day and it’s not like him to not contact me at least once during the day. Even if it’s just a quick text saying, “hello”. A feeling of dread consumes me. I have been blatantly pushing him away, telling him to go, throwing Ethan in his face every chance I get … oh no. What if he never comes back? Over the last few weeks Shad has quickly become one of my best friends and … I choke on the tears threatening in my throat. I want him to share my good news with me.
Heather pulls up to the house where it looks dark and ominous. The SUV Joe prefers to drive is not in the driveway and the truck I was hoping might be parked out front is absent. My mood darkens.
“… Look!” Heather squeals in excitement and points up. I move my head in the direction she is pointing and see the new window adorning the front of the house. I smile up at her knowing how happy she is to have the gaping hole covered. “Joe and Shad must have gotten right to it after we left this morning.” She says gleefully, while the thought of Shad being here without hanging around to see me is a heavy blow to my heart. I need to get my head examined. I know that I can’t have it both ways, but the thought of losing Ethan or Shad rips at my soul.
I grab a couple of the bags from Heather’s shopping trip from her hand and put them on my lap. I used to need help to be pushed up the wheelchair ramp Joe built, but not anymore. My arms are strong from their continual use. Rolling into the living room, I have to admit the window does look good, really good. I push it into the back of my mind that Shad’s strong hands were placed all over it. Kitchen … I need to put this stuff in the kitchen. We un-wrap the new plates and glasses, and give them a quick wash before we put them away in the cupboards. “This is a pretty set,” I say. “Where did you find it?”
“I went to Bed Bath and Beyond.” She laughs, “Ha, since I had to get new dishes. I had to get new dish towels and accessories to match.”
I match her laugh, “Of course you did.”
“Not that Joe will notice,” she adds. “I swear they can be completely oblivious sometimes. Maybe in a month or two he’ll say, ‘huh, where did we get these?’”
This time I laugh louder. Sean would do the same thing. He was clueless until one random day he would finally realize he didn’t recognize one thing or another. Even if I had told him I was going to buy it, it never dawned on him unless it was something he wanted. Soon, I won’t ever have to wonder if he will notice what I buy. If he doesn’t sit his butt in jail for a while, I still have the relief knowing that we will be divorced—very soon. But will I be safe from him? My subconscious rears her ugly head and chills run over my spine.
I need to be alone. “I’m going to go take a nap for a little while. I’m exhausted from all of this.”
“Go for it, you deserve a r
est. You walked today!” I had let that memory dissolve into the back of my mind after going and seeing Sarah.
“You’re right. I do deserve a nap.”
Seven
The fog twists out of the floor and wraps around my legs like it has its own life. I watch it swirl leaving an icy chill in its wake. I step to get away, but it only thickens with each step I take. I bend my knee raising my leg higher to free myself, but it’s useless. The dense moisture hidden in the mist bogs me down. Frantic, I look around to find help. I’m alone … until, I see a shadow in the distance. I scream for help, but the shadow keeps a clear space between us. A muffled choking sound steers my attention from the unmoving gray silhouette. “Momma, help me.” The face of my daughter so desperate cleaves my heart in two.
“Lexie,” I scream. I need to get to her. Vines, with four inch thorns wrap around her petite frame, I can see them thickening over her and if I don’t get there soon the vines will completely engulf her body. “Please help me,” I yell back at the shadow.
It cocks its head and a disembodied voice sounds in the air above me, around me, in me, “I will not interfere anymore. You asked me to leave, so now all I can do is observe.” The muffled sound of Lexie gurgling for her last breath has me sitting up from bed with a start.
I can’t catch my breath fast enough. My heart bludgeons against my ribcage like a trapped animal. My shirt is stuck to my skin laden with sticky sweat. My hands grip my duvet that I fell asleep on, so tight that my fingers cramp. It was just a dream, I murmur to myself. It was just a dream. It takes several moments for the quickening of my pulsing heart to calm and my breathing to steady. I think about my dream, but don’t know which part of it was more frightening; watching my daughter struggle for her life, my legs being stuck while I felt helpless to get to her, or the shadow telling me he wouldn’t be around to help. I know in my heart what they all symbolize, but what will I do with the information from my dream to fix the problems?
A light tap on my door startles me. “Yes?”
“I wasn’t sure if you were up or not, but I made dinner if you are hungry.” Heather’s light voice anchors me back to the now.
“Thanks, I’ll be out in just a minute.” I respond.
It takes me a few minutes to compose myself, but when I join them, I smile. Ben, Lexie and Matt are at the dinner table. “Hi, guys. I didn’t know you were coming Ben.”
“I just got back this morning.”
“You’re going to kill yourself with all of this school stuff.” Heather scoffs.
“Well, I guess if I don’t kill myself trying to be the best, then I wasn’t trying hard enough.”
“Can’t you talk some sense into him?” Heather turns and asks me.
I smile warmly at my son, “I’m proud of him. He is going to make an outstanding doctor.” Ben rolls his eyes at me. He has always been extremely humble. “Are you sticking around for a while now?”
“Actually, I am heading to South America next week to aide a group of doctors that are administering vaccinations to some villages without medical care.”
“What?” I exclaim.
“Mom, don’t worry. The region we are going to is fairly safe.”
“Don’t worry? Of course I’m going to worry, and don’t you have classes or something you are supposed to be doing?”
He laughs. “It’s July most schools are out right now, and this will look good on my applications, plus my resume.”
“Mom, he’ll be okay.” Lexie sets her hand on my shoulder and tries to reassure me. I try to make my lips pull up into a smile, but my lips don’t quite make it all the way leaving me grimacing instead.
“I told you, you need to talk some sense into him.” Heather snides.
“Let’s eat.” Joe pipes in. Lexie pulls out a chair after ruffling her younger brother’s hair and I wheel up to my normal spot.
“I love the new dishes Aunt Heather.” Lexie says lifting her plate and examining it.
I notice the hot mitt that Heather tosses down on the table matches the same aqua and green tones that her new dishes have. Joe doesn’t notice and I chuckle under my breath. A plate of hamburgers appear with all of the side fixings; lettuce, tomato, onion, buns, and all of the condiments. I must have been dead to the world if Joe was out barbequing and I hadn’t gotten a whiff of it. Heather sets down a pot of baked beans on her new mitt and then places a potato salad on the table.
“Ooh, I want some corn on the cob,” Lexie reaches over to the heap of tin foiled wrapped corn. “Whoa, hot, hot,” She blows on her finger tips after she bounces the corn between hands and landing it on her plate.
“Looks amazing Heather, thank you.” Joe coughs under his breath. “And thank you Joe.” I add. We all are digging in when the door bell rings.
“I got it,” Lexie says jumping up out of her chair. Her smile is wide and mischievous when she hops back into the kitchen.
I look behind me and spot the million-watt-smile and lone dimple. “I’ve brought you a present.” I quirk my eyebrows and spin my body around just in time to see Ethan walking in with a … damn it, I am already feeling old enough knowing that my birthday is in two months and it’ll be my last year in my thirties, but this—a walker. He’s grinning from ear to ear. Out of the corner of my eye I see Joe choke on his burger. Good I think.
Heather has the opposite reaction. She is excited. “Is she ready for that?”
“Yup, I got the release from the doctor today.”
My eyes dart up in confusion. I had no idea that a therapist had that much pull on the doctors. “Nikki, don’t look so confused. Dr. Mitchell put you in my care. If I make a recommendation he trusts what I am asking for. He has his expertise and lets us use ours.” Ethan’s capabilities as a therapist have never been something I have ever doubted, but this just clarifies that although he looks young he is a professional. I remind myself that he is going to school to be a doctor.
“I can add a pretty seat and a basket to it if you’d like sis?” I whirl around and glare at Joe.
“You do it and I will bedazzle your fishing tackle box, along with your underwear and everything else I can get my hands on until I run out of rhinestones.” Heather snorts out in laughter, and to my astonishment everyone else in the room does too, including Matthew.
“There is no way I’m going fishing with you Uncle Joe if your tackle box is all sparkly and shiny.” Matt Jokes.
“Who said I would invite you anyway. Besides, a real man can still catch fish even if his pole is pink.”
“Ha, I’d like to see the day my husband goes to the lake with a pink fishing pole. I will have to reserve that one for those bets he’s always thinking he’s going to win.” Joe takes a big bite and grumbles something that is inherently not audible. Heather laughs, “see I always win.”
It is the simple things like this that matter, I realize. I don’t need legs to laugh with my family. I don’t need to have money to enjoy the riches of unadulterated love. I am the luckiest woman to be surrounded by this. I scan the faces glowing with laughter and meet Ethan’s gaze. The corners of my lips pull up in a full smile. “Grab a seat.” I gesture. He scoots in next to me and we all enjoy ourselves over a meal. The one place we all seem to come together.
“Did you TA with Professor Clemens in his microbiology class last year?” Ben asks looking at Ethan, and then picking a chunk of tomato from his plate and popping it in his mouth.
Ethan casually looks up and swallows his large bite of burger. “I did. Were you in his class?”
“Dang I thought you looked familiar. Clemens was brutal.” He laughs lightly.
Ethan takes Ben in with more thought, “Tuesdays and Thursdays at one?” He asks.
“Umm, a lot has happened since then, but that sounds right.”
“You could say that again,” Ethan looks at me and smiles. “I loved helping Clemens he made me really dissect everything until I knew the exact way things worked.”
“Yeah, he had a way of
teaching that built my knowledge like a ladder. If I could find out the how’s then I knew the rest of the; what’s and who’s and everything else that followed,” Ben answers losing the rest of us at the table. “I thought I had recognized you at my little sister’s graduation, but I wasn’t sure. What a small world.”
“You could say that again.” I mumble. Ethan reaches under the table and squeezes my knee gently, and we all continue eating until I feel like I will explode if one more item slides down my throat.
“Did you look over the contents in the envelope I brought over?” I feel guilty. I asked Ethan to help me open this clinic and he is working every angle to get it going, while I have done little to help.
“I skimmed it.” I honestly admit.
“That’s okay. Considering your weekend from hell I suppose I will let you off this time.” I giggle as he reaches over and tickles me. “Do you mind if we go over some of it together?”
“Perfect idea,” I say. “Can we do it with a glass of wine in our hands?”
“Even better.”
We sit on my bed, glasses of wine in hand, and paperwork spread everywhere. There really is a lot of information shoved in this envelope. Possible money sources, a few building prospects, licensing information for a number of aspects of the business, business name registration papers and countless other papers with laws and regulations.