The Arabian Nights: Tales of 1,001 Nights: Volume 1

by Penguin; Robert Irwin; Malcolm Lyons; Ursula Lyons

  This man had a beautiful wife, and when he went out, she would flaunt herself at my brother and try to seduce him. He kept on refusing her, until one day she had her way. He started to play with her and sat her on his lap, but when they were in this position, in burst her husband. ‘You miserable, damned man,’ he said, ‘so now you want to corrupt my wife,’ and he took out a knife and cut off my brother’s penis. Then he carried him off on a camel and threw him down on a mountain, where he left him. Some travellers passed by who recognized him; they gave him food and drink and then told me what had happened to him. I went to him, carried him off and brought him to the city, where I gave him an allowance sufficient for his needs. Here I have come before you, Commander of the Faithful, fearing to leave before telling you my story, as that would be a mistake, since in my shadow stand six brothers, whom I have to support.

  When the caliph heard what I had to tell him about my brothers, he laughed and said: ‘You told the truth, silent man, when you said that you are a man of few words, lacking in inquisitiveness, but now leave this city and settle somewhere else.’ He banished me by official decree, and as a result I went to other parts and travelled around various regions until I heard that he had died and that the caliphate had passed to someone else. So I went back to Baghdad, where I found that my brothers were dead. Then I met this young man for whom I did a very great service, and had it not been for me he would have been killed. He has accused me of something that is not in my nature and what he has said about my being inquisitive is false. It is because of him that I have wandered around many lands before arriving here, where I have found him with you. Is this not, good people, an example of my sense of honour?

  ‘When we heard the barber’s story, listened to his long-windedness and realized the injury that he had done to the young man, we laid hands on him and imprisoned him,’ said the tailor to the king of China. HE WENT ON:

  We then sat peacefully eating and drinking and finishing our banquet until the call for the afternoon prayer. I then left and went home, where my wife was scowling. ‘You have been enjoying yourself with your friends,’ she said, ‘while I have been left in sadness. If you don’t take me out to see the sights for the rest of the day, I shall cut my ties with you and leave you.’ So I took her and went out with her and we looked at the sights until evening. On our way back we met the hunchback, who was overflowingly drunk and was reciting these lines:

  The glass is clear and so is the wine;

  They are like one another, and so is this affair.

  It looks as though there is wine without a glass,

  Or as though there is a glass with no wine.

  I invited him home and went out to buy a fried fish. We sat eating and then my wife gave him a mouthful of bread and a piece of fish. She put them both into his mouth which she closed, and he then choked to death. I carried him off and as a ruse I threw him into the house of this Jewish doctor, who, as a ruse, threw him into the inspector’s house. The inspector, as a ruse, threw him into the path of the Christian broker. This is my story and this is what happened to me yesterday. Is it not more wonderful than the story of the hunchback?

  When the king of China heard this tale, he shook his head in delight and showed his astonishment, saying: ‘The tale of what happened between the young man and the inquisitive barber is pleasanter and better than the story of the hunchback.’ He then gave orders to one of his chamberlains to go with the tailor and fetch the barber from prison. ‘I want to listen to what he has to say,’ he added, ‘for he is the reason why I am letting you all go free. We shall then bury the hunchback…

  Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the thirty-fourth night, SHE CONTINUED:

  I have heard, O auspicious king, that the king of China said: ‘Fetch me the barber, for he is the reason why I am letting you all go free. We shall then bury the hunchback for he has been dead since yesterday, and we shall have a tomb made for him.’ It did not take long for the chamberlain and the tailor to reach the prison. They brought out the barber and took him before the king, who studied him and saw an old man of ninety, with a dark face, white beard and eyebrows, small ears, a long nose and a foolish expression.

  The king laughed at his appearance and said: ‘O silent man, I want you to tell me something of your story.’ The barber replied: ‘King of the age, what is the story of this Christian, this Jew, this Muslim and this hunchback who lies dead here, and what is the reason for this gathering?’ ‘Why do you ask?’ said the king. ‘I ask,’ he replied, ‘so that the king may know that I am not an inquisitive man, that I am not guilty of the charge of loquacity, that I am known as the Silent and that I have my share in the quality this name indicates. As the poet says:

  You seldom find a man with a soubriquet

  Which, if you look, does not contain his quality.’

  The king then ordered that everything should be explained to the barber – the affair of the hunchback and what happened to him at supper time, and the tales of the Christian, the Jew, the inspector and the tailor, but there is nothing to be gained in repetition. The barber shook his head and said: ‘By God, this is a wonder indeed. Uncover the hunchback for me.’ This was done and the barber sat by his head, which he then moved on to his lap. He looked at the hunchback’s face and then laughed until he fell over backwards. ‘Every death is a wonder,’ he said, ‘but the death of this hunchback deserves to be written in letters of gold.’ Those present were bewildered by what he said and the king was astonished. ‘Silent man,’ he said, ‘tell us about this.’ ‘King of the age,’ he replied, ‘I swear by the truth of your grace that there is still life in this lying hunchback.’

  He then took a bag from his belt and brought out a bottle of ointment, with which he rubbed the neck and the neck veins of the hunchback. Next, he took a pair of iron forceps and after putting them into the hunchback’s throat, he drew out the slice of fish with its bone, all covered in blood. The hunchback sneezed and then immediately leapt to his feet. He passed a hand over his face and said: ‘I bear witness that there is no god but God and that Muhammad is the Apostle of God.’ The king and all those present were astonished at what they saw, and laughed so much that they almost lost consciousness. ‘By God,’ said the king, ‘this is something remarkable and I have never seen anything more strange. You Muslims, you soldiers, have you ever in your lives seen a man die and then come back to life? Had not God provided him with this barber who restored him to life, he would be dead.’ ‘By God,’ they said, ‘this is a wonder of wonders.’ The king ordered the story to be written down, and when this had been done, it was stored away in the royal treasury. The king then gave the Jew, the Christian and the inspector a splendid robe of honour each, and, at his command, they then left. Another splendid robe was given to the tailor, who was appointed as the royal tailor and given official allowances. He was reconciled with the hunchback, who received a gorgeous robe as well as the grant of allowances and was taken as a companion by the king. Gifts, together with a robe of honour, were given to the barber, as well as a regular salary. He was appointed court barber and taken as a companion by the king. They all continued to lead the most pleasant and delightful of lives until they met death, the destroyer of delights and the parter of companions.

  *

  ‘This is not more remarkable,’ said Shahrazad, ‘than the story of the two viziers and Anis al-Jalis.’ ‘How was that?’ asked Dunyazad. SHAHRAZAD BEGAN:

  I have heard, O auspicious king, that in Basra was a certain sultan who loved the poor, the beggars and all his subjects, distributing his wealth to those who believed in Muhammad – may God bless him and give him peace. He fitted the description given of him by a poet:

  A king who, when squadrons circled round,

  Cut through his foes with sharp and piercing blades.

  His writing could be read upon their breasts,

  When he assailed the riders with his spear.

  The
name of the sultan was Muhammad ibn Sulaiman al-Zaini and he had two viziers, one called al-Mu‘in ibn Sawa and the second al-Fadl ibn Khaqan. The latter was a man of good conduct, the most generous person of his time. All loved him; all came to him for counsel and everyone prayed that he be granted a long life, for he encouraged good and eliminated evil and wrongdoing. Al-Mu‘in ibn Sawa, on the other hand, disliked the people, did not love what is good but encouraged evil. As the poet has it:

  Take refuge with the noble, sons of noble men,

  For these in turn will father noble sons.

  Abandon the mean, descendants of the mean,

  For those whom these produce are mean as well.

  The love that the people felt for al-Fadl ibn Khaqan was matched by their hatred of al-Mu‘in ibn Sawa. God’s providence decreed that one day the sultan was seated on his royal throne, surrounded by his officers of state, when he summoned al-Fadl and said: ‘I want a slave girl unsurpassed in beauty by anyone in this age, perfect in her grace, splendidly proportioned, with praiseworthy qualities.’ ‘A girl like that cannot be got for less than ten thousand dinars,’ said his officials. At that, the sultan called for his treasurer and told him to take this sum to the house of al-Fadl, which he did, and al-Fadl had the sultan’s orders to go to the market each day, passing on to the brokers the instructions that he had received. According to these orders, no slave girl priced at over a thousand dinars was to be sold without having first been shown to al-Fadl.

  The brokers carried out this instruction, but none of their girls won al-Fadl’s approval. Then one day a broker came to al-Fadl’s house, and finding that he was about to ride off to the royal palace, he put his hand on al-Fadl’s stirrup and recited:

  You who unfold royal commands,

  You who enjoy continued happiness,

  Your generosity has brought life to the dead,

  And God rewards your efforts with His favour.

  Then he added: ‘The one for whom the royal decree ordered us to search has been found.’ ‘Bring her to me,’ said al-Fadl. The man went off for a time and then came back with a slender girl with jutting breasts, kohl-dark eyes, smooth cheeks, a slender waist and heavy buttocks. Her clothes were of the loveliest; her saliva was sweeter than rosewater; her figure was more perfectly proportioned than a swaying branch; and her voice was sweeter than the dawn breeze. She was as a poet has described:

  Wonderful in her beauty, with a face like the full moon;

  The people’s darling, sweet as raisins and as juice.

  The Lord of Heaven has exalted her,

  With charm and understanding, and a slender form.

  The heavens of her face hold seven stars

  That guard her cheeks against all those who watch.

  If someone tries to steal a glance at her,

  The devils in her eyes burn him with meteors.

  When al-Fadl saw the girl, he was filled with admiration and, turning to the broker, he asked her price. ‘It has been fixed at ten thousand dinars,’ said the man, ‘and her owner swears that this does not cover the cost of the chickens she has eaten, what she has drunk and the robes of honour that have been given to her teachers. For she has studied calligraphy, grammar, philology, Quranic interpretation, the foundations of jurisprudence, religion, medicine, precise calculation and how to play musical instruments.’ ‘Bring the owner over to me,’ said al-Fadl. This was immediately done, the man turning out to a Persian of whom the assault of Time had left no more than a husk, as the poet puts it:

  Time has shaken me, and what a shaking!

  For Time, the powerful, acts with violence.

  I used to walk and not be tired,

  But now I tire and cannot walk.

  Al-Fadl asked him whether he was willing to accept ten thousand dinars for the girl from the sultan Muhammad ibn Sulaiman al-Zaini. ‘By God,’ said the Persian, ‘if I gave her for nothing, this would only be my duty.’ Al-Fadl then ordered the money to be brought and when this had been done, it was weighed out for the Persian. The broker then approached al-Fadl and asked permission to speak, and when this had been granted, he said: ‘My advice is that you should not take this girl to the sultan today. She has just come from a journey which has tired her out, and she is suffering from the change of air. You should keep her in your house for ten days until she recovers. After that, take her to the baths, dress her in the finest of dresses and then you can bring her to the sultan. That will best for you.’ Al-Fadl thought over this advice and considered it sound. So he took the girl to his house, assigned her a room and provided her every day with what she needed in the way of food, drink, and so on, and she stayed like this for a time.

  Al-Fadl had a son, Nur al-Din ‘Ali, like the moon at its full, with a bright face, red cheeks and a downy mole like a speck of ambergris, as the poet has fully described:

  A moon, whose glances, when he looks, are murderous,

  A branch whose figure breaks hearts when he bends.

  His locks are Negroid black and his complexion gold;

  His character is sweet; his frame is a spear shaft.

  Hard of heart and soft of waist –

  Why not move quickly from one to the other?

  Were the softness of his waist found in his heart,

  He would never injure or offend his lover.

  You who blame me for loving him, absolve me from all guilt.

  Who will help me now my body is worn away?

  The fault belongs to my heart and to my eye –

  Stop blaming me; leave me in my distress.

  This young man did not know about the slave girl, but his father had warned her about him. ‘Know, my daughter,’ he had said, ‘that I have bought you as a concubine for the sultan, Muhammad ibn Sulaiman al-Zaini, and that I have a son who takes every girl in the district. Beware of him and take care not to let him see your face or hear your voice.’ ‘To hear is to obey,’ said the girl, after which he left her and went away. One day, as had been fated, it happened that the girl went to the house baths, where maids washed her. She put on splendid clothes, looking even more beautiful and graceful, after which she went to the lady of the house, al-Fadl’s wife, and kissed her hand. ‘Bless you, Anis al-Jalis,’ said the lady, ‘are our baths not lovely?’ ‘The only thing that I missed,’ said the girl, ‘was your presence there.’

  At that, the lady told her maids to come with them to the baths and they rose obediently, with her between them. She had put two little slave girls to guard over the door to Anis al-Jalis’s room, telling them not to let anyone in to see her, to which they had said: ‘To hear is to obey.’ While Anis al-Jalis was sitting in her room, al-Fadl’s son, Nur al-Din ‘Ali, came in to ask about his mother and the family. The two girls said: ‘They have gone to the baths.’ From inside her room, Anis al-Jalis heard the sound of Nur al-Din’s voice and she said to herself: ‘What do you suppose this young man is like, who, according to al-Fadl, has left no girl in the district without taking her? By God, I should like to have a look at him.’ She got up, still glowing from her bath, went towards the door of her room and looked out at Nur al-Din. There he was, like a full moon, and his glance left her the legacy of a thousand sighs. Nur al-Din turned and noticed her and he, too, was left a thousand sighs when he looked at her. Each of them was ensnared by love for the other.

  Nur al-Din then advanced towards the two little girls and shouted at them. They ran away, but stopped at a distance, watching him to see what he would do. He went to the room door, opened it and went in to meet Anis al-Jalis. ‘Are you the girl whom my father bought for me?’ he asked. When she said yes, he went up to her, and, under the influence of wine, he took hold of her legs and wound them around his waist. She twined her arms round his neck and received him with kisses, sighs and coquetry. He sucked her tongue and she sucked his, and he then took her maidenhead. When the two little girls saw their master going in to Anis al-Jalis, they shrieked and cried out, but he had already had his way with her and had fled away, fear
ing the consequences of what he had done.

  When the lady of the house heard the girls shriek, she got up and came out of the bath with sweat dripping from her. ‘What is this noise?’ she asked, and coming up to the two girls whom she had stationed at Anis al-Jalis’s door, she asked them what was the matter. When they saw her, they said: ‘Our master, Nur al-Din, came to us and hit us so we ran away from him. Then he went into Anis al-Jalis’s room and embraced her; we don’t know what he did then, but when we called out to you, he ran off.’ The lady then went to Anis al-Jalis and asked: ‘What happened?’ ‘I was sitting here, my lady,’ she replied, ‘when a handsome young man came in and said: “Are you the girl whom my father has bought for me?” I said yes, for by God, my lady, I thought what he said was true. At that he came up to me and embraced me.’ ‘Did he say anything else to you?’ she asked. ‘Yes,’ said Anis al-Jalis, ‘and he took three kisses from me.’ ‘He certainly did not leave you without deflowering you,’ said the lady, and she burst into tears and both she and the maids slapped their faces, for fear that his father kill Nur al-Din.

  While they were in this state, al-Fadl came in and asked what had happened. ‘Swear that you will listen to what I have to say,’ she said. ‘Yes,’ he replied, and she then repeated to him what his son had done. He tore his clothes in grief, slapped his face and plucked out his beard. ‘Don’t kill yourself,’ urged his wife. ‘I shall give you ten thousand dinars of my own money as her price.’ He raised his head and looked at her. ‘I don’t need her purchase price,’ he said. ‘My fear is that I shall lose both my life and my money.’ ‘How is that, master?’ she asked. ‘Don’t you know,’ he told her, ‘that in the background is my enemy, al-Mu‘in ibn Sawa. When he hears of this, he will go to the sultan…’