The Queen

by C. J. Abedi

And Devilyn.

  A fantasy come to life.

  He kneeled down before me and moved a strand of my hair away from my face as my breathing intensified.

  “This is so hard,” he whispered.

  My eyes flicked up to his.

  I couldn’t answer him back, because I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. A part of me was tired of being a burden to him, another part frustrated that he had given up so easily. My life was slowly becoming a game, and I was an unwilling participant in it.

  “Do you think any of this is easy for me?” he asked as he ran his thumb down my cheek.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say. And I don’t know what you want me to do,” I finally said. I was at war. Internally raging against every breath I took.

  There was something about darkness that made you bold. In the light of day everything would change, but for now, we were alone together.

  He leaned his forehead against mine. He took in a deep breath, like his very life depended on it. It was obvious that he too was on the battlefield, fighting against what he thought was the right thing to do versus what he wanted. I understood him more than he knew.

  We stayed like that for a long while. Just breathing each other in. Our eyes closed.

  And then for once, I pulled away first.

  “Good night, Devilyn,” I finally whispered, turning my head away.

  He inhaled quickly and I knew he was thrown.

  “Good night, Caroline,” he finally said.

  I had never felt more alone.

  Chapter Five

  “How terrible it is to love something that death can touch.”

  —Unknown

  Roanoke Island, North Carolina

  The Year of our Lord, 1587

  Eleanor Dare

  I vowed I would stay away from him.

  I had to. Arthur had told me that his people would kill him if they discovered our friendship. If something happened to him, I would never forgive myself. And more importantly, I knew I wanted no part of any life that didn’t involve him. I wouldn’t be able to live without him on this earth.

  After our time together that day, he had seen me back home safely and departed just as quickly as he had appeared. As usual, he made no move to kiss or touch me. I knew it was for the better, because there was no way I would meet him out in the forest again, as I had done before.

  I needed to stay away.

  I had to stay away.

  It was the right thing to do.

  Three days went by and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. I would watch the forest, picturing him walking the land and wondering if he was watching me in the village from a distance. Even though I cried myself to sleep every night, I knew all this pain and anguish was for a greater good.

  But it was so hard to be smart.

  The evening of the third day came just as slowly and painfully as the previous nights. I had no appetite. The only saving grace I had was that my father had left me to sail back to England and had left me behind with only my maid, Tabitha, who was my age and my best friend. Even so, I never told her about Arthur.

  Tabitha had left earlier that evening to attend a Bible reading at the small makeshift church that the villagers were in the process of building, so I was all alone. I sat down by the fire and began to knit, forcing my thoughts away from Arthur. Before I had gotten to my twentieth stitch, I heard a knock at the door.

  Assuming it was Tabitha, I opened it and was shocked to see who greeted me.

  “Arthur?”

  His tall frame filled the doorway. He was so handsome it nearly took my breath away.

  “I couldn’t stay away any longer,” he said to me. “I had to see you.”

  I was so happy that I burst into tears. He gathered me tenderly in his arms.

  “Please don’t cry,” he whispered, his voice sounding like he was in agony. “I can’t bear to see your tears.”

  He held me in his strong arms and stepped inside my home. He didn’t let go of me, and I continued to hold on as if my life depended on it.

  “I missed you so,” I told him through my sobs.

  “Then why haven’t you come?” he asked, pulling back so he could wipe away my tears.

  “I don’t want your life to be in danger,” I told him. “I would die if something happened to you.”

  “Don’t you understand that I have no life without you in it?” he said passionately.

  “But what about your people?” I asked him. “From what you’ve told me, they would never approve.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “You are my soul. How can I expect to live without that?”

  His words were everything I needed to hear.

  “I don’t want anything to happen to you,” I begged.

  “It won’t, my love,” he said with a smile. “We’ll fight the darkness away together.”

  He pulled me tighter in his embrace and a longing grew inside me.

  When I finally looked up, moments later he gave me what I wanted.

  A kiss that branded me as his, forever.

  D

  She owned me.

  My body.

  My heart.

  My soul.

  Whether she lived or died, for all eternity I would be bound to her. If possible, our connection was even more solidified than before. I sat before her and watched her sleep. I knew I didn’t deserve this woman, but thanked the Fates for the precious gift they had bestowed upon me. I wanted this moment we had together—undetected by any outside force, completely protected and free—to never end. I could live in the yew with her forever. Away from all the forces outside that were working against us.

  I sat up all night staring at her, silently professing my love. Something about the magik of the tree and Caroline’s proximity had changed me. My soul communicated with hers all night. I could feel the transformation in my body as my eyes started to burn with liquid fire. It was unlike any experience I’ve ever had before. A force surged through me.

  I could feel an energy begin to vibrate with an intensity inside my veins. They throbbed to life. My palms moved up of their own accord, and a black and white light emerged from my hands.

  For the first time, I had no control over my own power. The light moved in the air and crackled above Caroline’s sleeping form. And then a white light began to glimmer around her. It moved over her body, then came up and merged with my own. I felt a euphoric pleasure unlike I had ever known.

  A love so staggering, it took my breath away.

  Our energy danced together as if it had done it a thousand times, like there was a powerful recognition on a cellular level. Caroline’s light then rose up like a beam and moved straight into my palms.

  Surging again into one.

  I closed my eyes as the rays moved through my body and ran through my veins, familiarizing itself to its new home.

  Though it was a hard adjustment at first, feeling someone else’s energy so intimately with my own, it gave me a unique sense of comfort.

  It made complete sense.

  It felt right.

  As the rays ran through me, I closed my eyes and when I finally opened them, I knew I was a different man.

  There was something extremely satisfying about seeing my own energy do the same with Caroline as she slept. Even if our paths would eventually lead us apart, she would be forever bound to me, as I would be to her.

  Therein lay the problem.

  More than anything I wanted to be with her. To eventually marry my queen and be one together for eternity. But the danger would always be there. Life without her by my side, though, was no life at all.

  I crawled over to her and gently brushed the back of my hand against her cheek. She moved toward my touch and slowly opened her eyes. After her reaction last night, I was surprised she didn’t push me away.

  “I was having the best dream,” she told me.

  “What was it?”

  “I felt like I was in the center of the sun.” Her voice
was still groggy from sleep. “Like my whole body was being lifted by this light pulsing through my body. And it’s silly, really—”

  “Tell me.”

  She looked up at me, her eyes bright with such love that it overwhelmed me.

  “It felt like I came home.”

  My heart raced. It was the exact same feeling that I had.

  “I guess that light, the pure love, that must be what it feels like when you die,” she finished solemnly.

  I knew what she meant.

  “Not for an eternity,” I told her. I reached for her hand, but she stiffened and pulled it away.

  Her eyes gave nothing away. And for some reason I couldn’t read her thoughts. I wondered if she was learning how to block her emotions from me.

  “We need to spend a few more hours here,” I said, voicing what I had been playing with in my head all night.

  “You think it’s unsafe to leave now?” Caroline replied.

  “I do,” I began slowly. “We’re only postponing the inevitable, but we’re safe inside the yew—”

  I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence.

  “Do you have a plan?”

  I found my first real smile.

  “I do, I think a little more time in here might throw them off guard. I thought you might put up a fight, so I just wanted to run it past you,” I said.

  “I’m done fighting with you, Devilyn,” she told me. “If we’re speaking honestly, I know that everything is going to change when we walk outside this yew tree. So I actually wouldn’t mind just spending a little more time in here, in peace.”

  “Caroline. I don’t want things to change, but they must.” My voice was husky with emotion.

  “No.” She gave me the most heartbreaking smile. “I don’t need to hear you say it again. I completely understand all of it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Do we have breakfast?”

  I smiled at her. “Berries.”

  “Right,” she laughed. “Not that you’d be able to cook if we had a full kitchen.”

  “You’ve wounded my masculine pride,” I told her.

  She rolled her eyes at me.

  “Why?” she asked. “You’ve been very spoiled by Odin. I’ve had the pleasure of eating at your house, remember? Do you even know how to boil an egg?”

  “I can boil an egg,” I said.

  She raised her eyebrows.

  “I can’t believe you think I would be useless in a kitchen.”

  “Not completely,” she giggled.

  “There are a lot of things I can do, but when you grow up with certain extravagances, daily responsibilities like cooking or cleaning are made easier. They are taken care of,” I said to her.

  “Well you have other difficulties that most people don’t understand.”

  “True, but now you face them as well. Unfortunately, not by choice,” I replied.

  “I wonder if I should just believe the Fates and acquiesce.”

  “That line of thinking goes against human nature,” I responded disagreeing with her. “When you’re faced with a challenge that pushes you, your genetic makeup fights back.”

  “You’re right.”

  Caroline stood up and walked over to the berry tree and began picking them and popping them into her mouth.

  “Do you want any?”

  “I’m all berried out.” I answered.

  “So what are we going to do in here for a few hours?”

  “We could use the berries and some of their leaves to play checkers or something.”

  “You know how to play checkers? I took you more for a chess kind of guy.”

  “I’m incredible at chess.”

  “I don’t doubt it,” she laughed. “And I'm pretty incredible at checkers.”

  “Game on.”

  I stood up and grabbed a bunch of berries and leaves, and within a few seconds created a makeshift checkerboard on the ground. We sat facing each other as I popped a few of the berries in my mouth, watching as Caroline’s eyes rounded in surprise, then glee.

  “Devilyn—” she told me in annoyance. “You can’t eat our game pieces.”

  “I’m starting to get hungry.”

  “But you just said you’re berried out.”

  “Don't believe everything I say, Caroline,” I answered looking her straight in the eye, hoping that she understood the deeper meaning behind my words.

  I waited for her to argue back, but instead she simply stared, and then shook her head as she set up the game board.

  “All right then—let’s start this,” she said after a moment of silence. “I just want you to accept that you’re going to lose.”

  “I never lose, baby.”

  She gave me a look that took my breath away, and I knew she liked the endearment.

  An hour later I wished I had never agreed to play against her. While Caroline worked the board with ease and effort, I felt like I was back in calculus, learning derivative formulas.

  Caroline was right.

  Checkers were definitely not my thing. The game was so easy and trivial, but she kept taking me by surprise, winning game after game. It took all my willpower to not use my magik.

  To make the game more interesting, Caroline kept creating more rules, confusing the heck out of me while she laughed every time I broke one. I was now staring at the board with barely any pieces left, wondering what my next move would be and how to avoid getting clobbered by Caroline.

  “How are you doing over there?” Caroline asked.

  “Perfectly fine,” I said. “You’re not going to know what hit you with my next move.”

  “Hmmm,” was all she said as she brushed her forehead with the back of her hand.

  She looked adorable.

  She’d gathered all of her glorious hair up in a bun at the top of her head. She was still dressed in her Light Queen Halloween costume, and her face was flushed from all the effort she had exerted.

  From the way she smiled at the board, I knew she had me. I was done.

  It was over.

  Check.

  Mate.

  “You’re taking so long to make your move. Are you nervous?” she asked me as she looked up at me.

  “Nerves are for wimps,” I scoffed.

  It would be so easy to use my magik, but I couldn’t do it. I had my pride.

  “In fact, I think I might have you,” I said to her as I grabbed a bunch of her berries from the board and threw them in my mouth not realizing that I’d grabbed a few spoiled ones.

  Gah!

  It was like poison! I kept my face neutral as I forced myself to swallow what I knew was the worst thing I had ever tasted in my life.

  Caroline was trying hard not to laugh.

  “Cheaters never prosper.”

  “Who said anything about cheating. I was actually giving you the competitive advantage,” I said to her when I finally managed to breathe again from the sour taste in my mouth.

  “Oh really? And how’s that?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings by beating you too badly.”

  “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard Devilyn,” she laughed with a hand on her hip.

  I couldn't help but agree with her, but at least she was smiling.

  C

  I wished I could make the world stop around us and we could stay here forever.

  I never wanted to leave the yew tree. I imagined our life here. We could eat berries, play, talk about the future, hold hands, and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

  I couldn’t imagine a more perfect life.

  The only thing I was missing was physical attention from Devilyn. I was still anxiously waiting for him to pull me into his arms and kiss me senseless. All of these moments were memories I wanted to tuck away in the recesses of mind forever. I could pull them out when I felt lonely or when I thought there was nothing worth living for.

  That was the only reason why I had agreed to stay there for a little b
it more time. I wanted more memories to pull from for my future ahead. We never had enough alone time together, when it was just us and nothing stood in the way of our happiness. So this was a moment I was going to savor.

  “Rematch,” I said as I reached up to grab more berries from the tree when I felt a jolt rush through my body and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Something had happened. It was strange. Since the morning my entire body felt different. I didn’t know how to explain it. Something had changed, like my DNA had been reprogrammed.

  I looked over at Devilyn when I felt the jolt of light. He seemed innocent enough, completely relaxed, the exact opposite of how he had looked moments before.

  I looked back at the board.

  It looked suspiciously different.

  My eyes narrowed.

  He smiled sweetly.

  My heart fluttered at the sight. God, he was too gorgeous for words. I wondered if I’d ever be able to look at him and not feel as though I was about to drool.

  Get it together, Caroline!

  “Collect more game pieces and let’s finish this?” he smiled in a husky voice.

  I flushed in embarrassment when his eyes flashed with desire and turned back to the tree.

  “Look Devilyn, it looks like there’s water running down some of the leaves.”

  Devilyn rose and came up behind me.

  “Do you think it’s safe to drink?”

  “Are you thirsty?

  “Very.”

  “It’s fine. The yew is protected,” he replied reaching around me. “Let me grab one of these leaves and make it easier to catch, so you can have more than a few drops.”

  Devilyn grabbed the largest leaf he could and made it into a cup, gathering as much water as possible, as I brought my lips against the bottom edge. The water was ice cold, but it felt so good to swallow the drink from it.

  “I can do the same thing for you, if you’re thirsty,” I said looking up at him as I wiped my moist lips with my finger.

  “I'm not thirsty for water, Caroline.” His voice had now gone hoarse and I couldn’t help but blush at the innuendo.

  His words made my skin tingle and I desperately wished he’d kiss me.

  Why was he so perfect?

  And yet so flawed, I suddenly thought gathering my thoughts and my wits. I couldn't do this to myself again.