The Girl You Die For:
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By Leona Keyoko Pink & Timothy Terry
Copyright 2018 Leona Keyoko Pink
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
Sample Chapter If I Pass This Way Again
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Chapter One
I don’t know what it was about him...but from the moment I met Lyndon Craw I knew I didn’t like him. When I was little my Aunt used to tell me there were special people out there for each of us. People we were meant to meet from another life. She called these soul relations. Though we were in a different body our souls never forgot the connections we made, friends, family, lovers. It was the reason you might suddenly like a stranger...or feel connected to someone you never met before. I used to wonder if it worked both ways. If there were people out there we used to know, used to like. Did that mean there were people out there we used to hate…?
I don’t know why but on the day I met Lyndon I couldn’t help but think of it. There was just something about him. From the moment he introduced himself the winter of my senior year I was filled with dread.
It was puzzling; by all means I should have liked him. He was good looking, charismatic, and could even be funny. Everyone that met him almost immediately took a liking to him, from teachers, to students, to the group of friends I hung out with. Yet… I felt there was something not quite right about him.
My skin would tingle when he was around and I’d get the urge to leave...to get away...almost desperately. When I was away from him I’d come back to my senses and wonder what was wrong with me. I didn’t understand what was going on…
I remember one day after school we were all hanging out at Chuck’s diner when he showed up. I got the urge to leave but fought it...I knew it was ridiculous. He hadn’t done anything to me. We all got into a conversation and someone said something funny. Everyone burst out laughing and our eyes met for the first time.
His smile instantly vanished as we held each other’s gaze. He had the most striking ice blue eyes. The kind any girl could have lost themselves in. But they made my skin crawl. I found myself holding my breath as a chill ran up my spine.
There was something dark and dangerous in those eyes… something twisted and familiar. A tear escaped my right eye and rolled down my cheek. I tore myself away and rushed to the restroom. I splashed water in my face trying to snap out of whatever this was. I grabbed a paper towel and as I dried my face I fell against the bathroom wall. Sliding to the ground I found myself shivering. I didn’t know why this was happening but I knew one thing. I didn’t want anything to do with him.
**********
I did my best to avoid him after that but saw him almost everywhere. I admit I lived in a small town and it was easy to see the same people everyday but there were still some people you could go months without running into. In desperation I changed my routine as much as I could. I began to take different routes to avoid seeing him.
It seemed to be working but just before graduation he started dating my best friend Julia, and it seemed like there was really no way to avoid him. Nearly every time I saw her he was there and if he wasn’t, he was all she’d want to talk about. I tried to be polite but I began to pull away from her and even opted to hang out with my family after the graduation ceremony.
Julia was crushed when I told her I wasn’t going to the river that weekend. We’d been planning the trip with a bunch of our friends since sophomore year in high school but I just couldn’t imagine being up there with him around for an entire weekend.
After the excitement of graduation was over and practically everyone I knew had gone to the lake I had a lot of time to think. Alone in my room I felt like a fool...I realized I’d overreacted. When I really thought about it this whole thing seemed insane. I was going out of my way, changing my life, missing out on opportunities because of what, some guy I barely knew...that made me feel strange?
I was tired of avoiding him. I was tired of being a coward and knew this couldn’t go on forever. I swore I’d never miss another opportunity again because of him and this thing whatever it was.
When Julia got back I called her and we talked for hours. I must have apologized a dozen times I felt so guilty. She was still upset with me but told me everyone still had a good time. Lynn had gone but only stayed an hour. Something had come up and he’d been gone the rest of the weekend...When I leaned this I’d wished I’d gone even more.
The next day I went over to her house and we hung out on her bed watching cheesy movies and looking through old fashion magazines. It had been a while since the two of us had just hung out and while I knew Lynn could show up at any time I refused to let it stop me.
I could tell Julia had something on her mind. She kept acting strangely. Eventually I put the magazine I was reading down and turned on my side. “What is it?”
“What is what?” she said flipping through her magazine.
“Come on...I know there’s something. Don’t make me have to twist it out of you,”
She paused and smiled. All at once she got excited. Putting down her magazine she sat up on her knees, “I think...he’s the one,”
“Who,” I asked curiously.
“Lyndon,” said Julia as if it were obvious. “I’m not sure if he’s like the one, the one but...I think I want him to be my first,”
“Oh,” I said.
Both of us were still virgins. We didn’t have a reason or anything. We just lived in a small town and people tended to talk. We’d known enough girls our age. If you were caught with the wrong guy it was easy to get labeled. It hadn’t stopped us from having fun. Julia had dated a few guys out of town and I’d had a few wild encounters on the internet but neither of us had gone all the way. I thought maybe last spring...Julia might have done it with Ryan Peck, a football player from the city, but if she had I was sure I’d be the first to know.
“-out we’re never alone. I was planning to do it...this weekend,” said Julia. I’d zoned out and it took me nearly a minute to realize Julia had started talking again, “But he had to go you know...so it didn’t exactly go as planned. But I was thinking this Friday. What do you think?”
“Hmm...” I said, not really sure what to say. I wasn’t exactly thrilled they were dating...I knew it wasn’t any of my business who she did it with but I was secretly hoping they’d break up and he’d just disappear to a distant memory.
Julia stared at me for a moment. I could tell she wasn’t happy with my lack of an answer. Before I could think of another one she said, “You don’t like Lynn, do you?”
I was a bit surprised it had taken her this long to figure it out but still I froze. I wasn’t sure what I should say. I mean I knew I couldn’t hide it forever but I wasn’t sure I wanted her to know. I mean we were best friends. I was supposed to like her boyfriend whoever he was, wasn’t I...? Wasn’t it some unwritten rule?
“Becca,” she whined, drawing me out of my thoughts.
“He’s okay...I guess,” I knew this was just more cowardice on my part. I knew I should roll out of bed and tell her he gave me the creeps. There was something seriously wrong about him and I wanted nothing to do with
him. I wanted us both to have nothing to do with him...but I’d heard her talk about him. How happy he made her. I knew saying I didn’t like him would upset her. I also knew she’d want to know why and I had no answer beyond a feeling.
She’d mulled over my answer and scrunched up her nose. “What do you mean he’s okay...you guess?”
I groaned and rolled on my back. I really didn’t want to be having this conversation, “I don’t know... What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to say you like him,”
I wanted to quip back “Yeah...but I don’t,” I turned to look at her and Julia’ face had turned to that of worry. Her eyes looked at me pleadingly as if life depended on this. I sat up and turned my back to her as I dangled my feet off the bed, “I don’t really know him,” I didn’t want to know him.
She seemed satisfied this time. Crawling up behind me she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, “Of course...you’re always running off these days. You never hang out with us. If you got to know him I just know you’d like him,”
I held in a groan and put on a fake smile, “Maybe,”
“Let’s hang out sometime, just the three of us,”
“Okay,” I said hoping she’d drop it,” Sometime,”
“This weekend,” said Julia. Pulling back she practically jumped off the bed.
I was hoping it would be enough to say I would. Sometime could mean anytime and I felt I could at least put it off for a bit.
“This Saturday, the mall,” said Julia picking up her phone.
“I don’t know. I might be busy,”
“Come on,” said Julia, “You owe me! You already bailed on the river,”
“Alright, Saturday,” I said. I hadn’t realized I’d been clenching my fists. I unclenched them and sighed. I reminded myself I’d vowed not to let him get in the way. It was probably better to just get this over with, to stop avoiding whatever this was and confront it head on.
“Yeah...she said yes,” said Julia.
I looked up at her and realized she was talking to Lynn on the phone. Had they planned this? The thought made me feel uneasy….
Chapter Two
From the moment I left Julia’s house I was dreading Saturday. I said I wasn't gonna let him keep me from doing stuff...but that didn’t mean I wanted to hang out with him. That night I tossed and turned wondering what I was going to do. Each day that passed felt like it took forever. I kept thinking of excuses. Things I could say or do to get out of it or leave early but I refused to back down. I refused to let this get to me any longer.
Soon enough Saturday had arrived and I found myself digging through all my clothes trying to find something I could wear. It felt strange. I’d met him before, what did it matter how I dressed? This wasn’t a date; he wasn’t my boyfriend, I didn’t need to impress him. I just needed to get through the day. In the end I threw on an old long sleeve sweater and some skinny jeans. I wore my favorite ratty tennis shoes and knew even if this didn’t go well at least I’d be comfortable.
As noon approached I began to wonder what we would do. I’d been around him before but had never really talked to him. I’d always just been around him in a larger group and had avoided any contact at all costs. Now it was just going to be him, Julia, and me, one person away from being alone with him. Who knows how much time we were going to spend together…
I tried to think about what I knew about him as if that would somehow help things. He’d moved here the middle of senior year, which was odd cause who moves their senior year? I heard he lives somewhere on the south side of town. His dad is a truck driver or something. I hadn’t heard anything about his mom.
I knew he had money from Julia. She’d brought it up more than once that his grandparents had been rich like hers and left him everything. What else did I know, he was an only child. He had just turned 19, two months ago. As I brushed my hair I wondered if he’d been held back. I was eighteen at the end of winter but had started school a year late. Julia had just turned eighteen right before graduation and she too had missed a year. So...had he missed two years? He didn’t seem that stupid…
A horn honked and I nearly jumped out of my skin. My heart began to race and I couldn’t believe it. Things hadn’t even started yet and I was already this worked up. I grabbed my purse and told my mom I was leaving before I rushed to the door. I opened it and froze when I looked outside. I saw Lynn leaning up against a black sports car with tinted windows. For a moment it looked like it was just him coming to pick me up for a date.
I knew we were getting together but I just assumed we’d be taking Julia’s car and that she would be driving. She’d gotten her license a month ago and for graduation he grandfather had gotten her a brand new jeep. The weather would have been perfect for it. Of course I would have even preferred walking than to being in a car with him.
Julia rolled down the window when I hadn’t moved from my doorway. She called out, “Come on….let’s go!”
I nodded to her and tried to focus on her as I shut the door and rushed down the front steps of my house. I told myself I was just hanging out with Julia. Her boyfriend was just a blur in my side vision, an object I wouldn’t look at or speak to...unless I had to. I sighed knowing this isn’t what Julia wanted.
She wanted us to get to know each other. She wanted me to like him but I didn’t. The fact that I was walking up to his car at all was a major step for me...Baby steps I told myself. Maybe in a year or two I could be ambivalent toward him. I went to get into the car behind Julia but Lynn moved. He darted to open the door for me. I stepped back and broke my focus, looking at him. He gave me a charming smile and it made my stomach knot.
“Allow me,” he said ushering me to get in.
I wanted to snap at him. I could get my own door but just got into the car. I knew if I delayed any longer I’d be running back inside. Then this would be a whole thing. I just wanted to do this and get it over with.
Lynn shut the door once I was safely seated and then ran around to the driver’s seat. The inside was nice and clean. It smelt like a new car. The air conditioner was going and light classical music was playing on the stereo. I smiled. I liked classical music but I knew Julia couldn’t stand music without words. She must have been going nuts.
I don’t know why but the thought relaxed me and I was able to sit back in my seat. He got in a moment later and adjusted his rear view mirror. My eyes glanced over at it but as soon as I saw even then hint of his ice blue eyes I looked away, stilling myself to look out the window.
I waited for us to move but we didn’t. We just sat there. After a few minutes Julia asked, “Are we gonna go?”
“Is she going to put her seat belt on?” asked Lynn. I didn’t look back at the rear view mirror but I knew he was watching me. The hairs on my arms stood up and I felt cold.
“Sorry,” I mumbled before sinking my teeth into my lower lip. I scrambled to put my seat belt on. Once it clicked and locked we finally rolled out. I was sad to see my house pass by. There was no turning back now. Looking through his tinted windows it almost felt like I was in another world, looking at what my life used to be.
The ride to the mall wasn’t very far but it felt twice as long. When we got there and parked I was quick to get out, concerned he might try and open my door. He’d been fast to get out himself. Rather than go around the front of the car he’d rushed around the back.
Just as I got out, he was coming around. We nearly ran right into each other pausing inches apart. I was surprised by his speed. Instinctively I looked down at my feet as my skin began to crawl. I felt sick, trapped, even though I was out of the car and had the whole parking lot. I felt caged...in his presence.
I expected him to go around me to open Julia’s door but he didn’t. He just stood in front of me. I wondered what he was doing as I stared at his expensive shoes. For a moment I almost looked up but at the last second I came to my senses and stepped off to the side. As I stepped off to the side he finally moved. He brushed p
ast me and his fingers tangled in mine for a moment.
I felt my heart skip a beat. His touch made me twinge and I pulled my hand away. Without thinking I turned to face him. Thankfully his back was to me. He was already opening Julia’s door. I watched her get out and wrap her arms around him. The two kissed passionately. I turned away and started to walk towards the mall. I didn’t know what we were going to do or where we were going to go but I wanted some distance from him.
After a few seconds Julia called out to me, “BECCA...WAIT UP!!!”
I paused as she rushed to catch up with me. She grasped onto my arm and asked, “What’s the rush?”
“I’m just hungry,” I said. It wasn’t a lie per se. I was actually hungry. With everything going on today I’d been so sick with worry that I’d completely skipped breakfast.
“If you’re hungry,” said Lynn coming up from behind. My back stiffened and I got the urge to run. “let’s eat first thing,”
He took up Julia’s hand and she moved to hold mine so I couldn’t rush ahead. We slowly walked into the mall and to the food court. Things weren’t going so great but I applauded myself as we went into Rud’s Burgers and Fries that I’d made it more than five minutes before I’d gotten the urge to run and I was still here. Maybe I was improving.
Julia and Lynn took up a booth and thankfully I got my own. I sat as far as I could on the inside so I was sitting right across from Lane. If I covered my right eye it was almost like Lynn wasn’t even there at all.
The waitress came over and handed out the menus. Before I could even get mine open Lynn made it clear, “Today, everything is on me. I want to treat you both,”
Julia squealed with delight, “Didn’t I tell you he’s generous?”
I didn’t say anything looking down at the menu even though it hadn’t changed in ten years. I knew most girls would have been excited by his declaration to pay but it made me feel awkward. I wasn’t dating him…I didn’t even know him and he was going to buy me whatever I wanted.
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