Chasing Imperfection (Chasing Series 2)

by Pamela Ann

  “I have to go to Rome for a few hours. I’ve been summoned by my uncle. I’ll be back when I can.”

  “Oh, right. Um have a safe flight then—wait—do you want to go get some coffee before you leave? I haven’t had one yet—”

  “No. I’m busy. I have to go.”

  My rejection threw her off. Even when we were friends, I always succumbed to her wants—not anymore. I can’t stand being with her in the same vicinity without wanting to strangle her. It’s best that I leave before I say something I would regret later on.

  I nodded and left her standing there, looking hurt and not knowing what to do. Striding towards the awaiting black Bentley without looking back, I released a long breath after sliding into the confines of the car. I then ordered Robert to drive me to the office in South Bank to get some paperwork before leaving for the airport.

  Luke greeted me cordially once I entered my office floor. He was alerted the moment I entered the building. I want every single branch that I own to run efficiently.

  He handed me all the paperwork I needed to go through today and briefed me with all the ongoing progress in all branches of the company. After listening without interrupting him, I excused myself to go to the annexed apartment I have inside my office. I could’ve easily gone to my apartment. But I didn’t, I simply can’t. That place is haunted by memories of her. Her scent lingered everywhere in my room and I’m not ready to step in there knowing full well I won’t recover if I do.

  I welcomed the silence once I entered the annex apartment. It contained a massive king-sized bed, full shower, and a well-equipped stainless steel kitchen. The whole place was decorated with Sienna’s solo portraits from Chad’s show. Her other ones with that man named Troy I could do without. I might accidentally burn them all. There were six solo portraits—but the bloody cretin took the other one he kept staring at all evening. I’m sure that image reminded him of something significant—that’s why we ended up fighting that night. I punched his jaw without a second thought after Chad informed me that Kyle purchased the portrait already. “She’s my girlfriend. Don’t even think twice of trying to take her away from me. I will ruin you Matthews! I can easily ruin you.” I remembered threatening him while others scrambled to exit the room.

  “She was mine first—don’t you ever forget that you asshole! Once she realizes that you’re just a fucking playboy and she’s just one of the passing girls—she’s going to run back to me! I’m always here for her. That’s how it’s been and that’s how it always will be. She hasn’t been with anyone apart from me and you—what you guys have is lust not love, nothing else. Dude—get your shit together before you threaten me, you stupid British fuck!” he yelled and huffed angrily before storming out of the room.

  Once he left, I felt helpless. What Sienna and I have—it’s more than that. I knew it—my heart knows it—my soul knows it. I felt it with her kisses and the way she looked at me. I tried to convince myself that what Kyle said didn’t bear any fruit.

  I stood in the middle of the room staring at her decadent portrait and looked for answers. As if her eyes can tell me all her hidden secrets. How I wish I knew what they were.

  “I took a hold of her arm and linked it to mine and lightly tugged her to follow me out of the room and headed towards the gallery office.

  I needed to be with her. I needed confirmation that she’s mine and that she won’t ever leave me. I remembered hoping that she would love me the way that I loved her.

  Memories of that night tugged something inside. My eyes started to tear and I immediately composed myself. I profusely cursed her portrait profusely before I headed towards the bathroom.

  Call me a masochist, but I needed to see her face once in awhile. My heart is turning into a sinister dark ice, stone cold and black. I needed to be reminded—even for a second—that I once loved fully and fiercely with no boundaries. Glimpses of the future I once yearned for with her. The limited time I spent with her was the happiest I’ve ever been since my parents were taken away from me.

  I knew I fucked up when I didn’t tell her about the arranged marriage. But she could’ve at least stayed, listened and given me the opportunity to fully explain myself. But she didn’t—that’s why I hate her. Her rejection when I proposed on the pavement in Covent Garden will forever be tattooed in my memory. I hate her for jumping ship.

  I’m going to expand what my grandfather’s father built. I’m going to exceed everyone’s expectations and then some. I’m exceptional in what I do. It’s the only thing I have a control of, its outcome, its future.

  Stepping out of the steam shower, I walked over to the medium-sized walk-in closet adjacent to the bathroom. The call from my uncle’s wife, Seraphina, baffled me. If my uncle wanted to talk, he could’ve called himself. Was he sick?

  Both of my maternal grandparents died before I was even born. After mum died, he was the only relative I was close to in my mother’s side. I’m close enough with my uncle, Luciano Vittori, my mother’s only brother. We catch up once or twice a year. He’s a busy man as well. He runs the family vineyard in Tuscany. Luciano and Seraphina used to be such a happy couple, they once reminded of my parents. But all that changed when my seventeen year old cousin, Alessandro, crashed his brand new Lamborghini into a tree going one hundred twenty miles per hour on a curved road. Aunt Seraphina died that day as well. She was never the same. The sunny person turned solemn and bitter.

  I dressed in light blue dress shirt and black trousers. I needed a shave but I don’t have the time to do so.

  I need to get to Rome as soon as possible and get this over with.

  The past two weeks have been such a nightmare. The news about Chad’s suicide attempt took a toll on my sleep. I kept going in circles about his actions. The lively man who was once robust and full of life decided he no longer wanted to live. When I saw him earlier, I became angry. Why didn’t any of us see this? Were we that selfish that we couldn’t see our friend was going through pure utter hell?

  Sienna adores Chad, we all do. But they were closer—they were each other’s confidantes. Chad became a part of our circle, became a friend. The fact of him being gay didn’t bother me a bit. True, Chad tends to be flamboyant, but that’s just a part of him. The other major part that others can’t see is the man behind the persona. The man who’s devoted to the people he cares about, the gifted man who has an eye for beauty and captures it exceptionally, the man who was crying out for help and left broken to be alone.

  I knew all four us felt guilty. Our faces said it all. The minute Chad comes out of his coma I will keep a closer eye on him and make sure he gets all the help he needs. I knew he will come through. That man may be broken right now—but he has the spirit of a fighter.

  I summoned Richard to wait for me outside the building and started to make phone calls. Mentally delegating in my head which ones should be taken care of first and which ones can be done last. I have a photographic memory and I’m a whiz when it came to numbers or I wouldn’t be nicknamed “genius” by the Times magazine if I wasn’t good in what I do.

  I’m hoping to be back by seven tonight and see Chad again before I head out to Marbella tomorrow morning. I’m exhausted from all the country hopping—but I’d rather deal with that than with my emotions and where my thoughts lead to. It never did solve anything.

  Getting out of the car I climbed the stairs of my G650 Gulfstream jet customized and fitted to my liking. I was greeted by a hot willing stewardess, a Nordic beauty. I smiled back at her. I might need a distraction later.

  Seated and situated, I dialed Toby. The moment he picked up, I forgot about the Nordic beauty hovering about the cabin. I had informed him about the flight to Italy earlier in the hospital and he seemed intrigued and asked what Luciano wanted and I told him I had no clue. I notified him that my assistant, Luke, will send him a few emails and those needed to be done urgently. Before cutting off the call, I heard a familiar laugh in the background, Sienna. She was laughing about somethin
g Lucy had just said.

  My heart contracted with the sound of her laugh. How I’ve missed that laugh. I pressed the bridge of my nose trying to reign in the emotions welling about.

  Damn, that wretched witch of a woman.

  But I’d rather die than admit that to her or to anyone. We were in the same circle of friends. We have to endure being in each other’s company. I might as well get used to it. I will be seeing a lot of her very soon when Chad awakens.

  4

  Sienna

  “You’re leaving? You’re not staying longer?” I asked Blake, my voice slightly pleading.

  I just saw you—you can’t surely leave?! I yelled in my head.

  “I have to go to Rome for a few hours. I’ve been summoned by my uncle. I’ll be back when I can.” That sounds very important. I remembered him speak affectionately about his uncle—but his name escapes me.

  “Oh, right. Um have a safe flight then—wait—do you want to go get some coffee before you leave? I haven’t had one yet—”

  I was going to just say goodbye—but my heart won out. I wanted to catch up and see how he’s been. He looked so gorgeous. He still is the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid my eyes on, though there’s a hint of darkness shrouding him now that wasn’t present before. He seem hardened—cold and severely detached from me. Gone was the man who gave me those knee-buckling god-like smiles and earth shattering kisses.

  “No. I’m busy. I have to go.” His rejection was the nail in the coffin. I should’ve expected this. In the back recess of my mind, I did—but when it finally happens in my reality, a fresh set of pain racked through my body. I mentally prepared myself for this—but this ache—this rotten, putrid feeling that’s gripping me is crushing and unbearable.

  I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand when tears threatened to fall.

  I can’t break down and think of myself, Chad needs me. It’s Chad that I should focus my energy on, not my irrevocably broken relationship with Blake.

  I made sure my thoughts of Blake were shoved in the back of my mind and my tear ducts were dry before entering Chad’s room and bravely faced Luce and Toby.

  “Hello! How’s Chad doing today?” I greeted the pretty couple.

  Luce jumped out of her chair and hugged me tightly. “Blake was just here, did you manage to see him on the way out?”

  “Yeah—it was awkward to say the least.” I gave Luce and Toby a sad smile.

  “Don’t worry—you two will come around. You guys were close friends before. It’s just, you know—things are still new and still need getting used to,” she smiled encouragingly at me.

  I gave her a peck on the cheek and murmured “thank you” and sat next to Chad’s bed. He still looked a little lifeless but his lips are gaining a little color. That’s a good sign right? He’ll bounce back into full health. I just know it.

  The three of us chatted around Chad’s bed. Luce and I still took both sides next to Chad while Toby sat on the foot of the bed. He told me that he’s giving up his flat because the job in Marbella might take up to a year to finish and there’s no need to keep a place here when he doesn’t obviously need it. Some of his things will be moved to Lucy’s room and other furniture brought to our apartment. I didn’t mind it, whatever is easier for him. We certainly have the room for it. So, I guess Blake and Toby are going to be housemates then. That certainly sucks…for me.

  “How is Blake? I mean—I saw him earlier—he seemed angry still. Is he doing okay?” Heck, I’m fishing for information I knew that but I somehow wanted to know if he’s okay after the break-up. I knew it’s been two months since it happened, but I was curious.

  “Blake has a very demanding and punishing schedule. I don’t know how he does it—but he does and he does it superbly. But during night—he’s been quite, I don’t know how to put it. I mean—he’s been quite—maybe overtly busy.” I tried to open my mouth to respond but I couldn’t form the words to. Overtly busy?

  Lucy snorted. “Overtly busy, really my love? That’s the understatement of the year. Try man whore.” Toby glared at her.

  She held up her hand, “I know you’re besties with him—I love him too. We all know Blake used to go through women quite thoroughly but at least then he tried to get to know the women. This time, he doesn’t even nit-pick—he just shags them. As long as the woman is hot and good-looking that is.” She shrugged as I stared wide-eyed at them.

  Hello??? How come none of them informed me?

  The thought of Blake with different women on a daily basis made me run to the bathroom and puke. Fuck that was a lot of information to take in.

  What was I really expecting, him pining away for me? Maybe. I just didn’t expect him to move on like we—us—didn’t matter much. Why would he, Sienna? You never once told him that you loved him and you turned down his proposal of marriage. The man has the right to move on and forget you.

  I heard a soft knock on the door. “Sienna, can I help you at all?” Toby’s soft sophisticated voice asked through the door. “No, I just need a minute. I’ll be out soon,” I called back.

  I washed my face and rinsed my mouth with water. I straightened up my loosened bun before I came out of the bathroom. They both looked sorry. Sigh, it’s not their fault I’m a mess. “Sorry, I was shocked that’s all. I needed a moment.”

  Toby gathered me in his arms and hugged me tight. “You broke the man’s heart, love. This is the only way he knows how to cure himself. You shouldn’t take it personally. But he did love you—I just wish that he took care of the Clayworth’s before taking things further with you. He was shattered too, babe.”

  “I know,” I murmured sadly before returning to my chair next to Chad. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”

  “He’ll come around. I know he will. I just don’t know how long that’ll take him.” I nodded at Toby not wanting to talk about it anymore.

  We changed the subject and spoke about Chad. Lucy animatedly rehashed stories about him that were funny and so very Chad, when Toby’s phone rang and he went to the far side corner of the room and spoke in a hushed tone. I laughed sadly with Lucy’s story and we both started to tear again when we looked at Chad’s face. I miss you, my dear beautiful friend, I whispered in his ear.

  Toby was busy with his laptop all afternoon and taking calls every half an hour or so. At five, they decided to leave and asked me if I wanted to join them for dinner with Blake, I graciously declined and used work as an excuse. After seeing him today and learning of his sexcapades, I honestly can only take him in small doses.

  I waited for Kyle to pick me up so we could head out to work together. I love working with him. I love how diverse and exhilarating the music business is. Tonight, I have no clue where we’re heading. I haven’t paid much attention since Chad got admitted to the hospital. I have to go back to my flat and change before heading out to wherever we are working tonight.

  When Kyle walked in thirty minutes after Toby and Lucy left, I asked if we could stop by at my flat. On our way to my apartment in Covent Garden, my thoughts dwelled on Blake, tuning Kyle out.

  Once in the apartment, I headed straight to the shower leaving Kyle in my room. I showered and thoroughly scrubbed my body, shaved my legs and put a five minute sugar face mask on. Scrubbed clean and primed, I applied rose scented cream all over my body and came out of the bathroom with my pale green silk robe on.

  “Where are we going tonight? How much time do I have to get ready?” I shot questions at him while I rummaged through my closet. He was on my bed staring at the ceiling. He was wearing all black and quite rugged. That haircut really does suit him.

  “We’re actually going to see TCC. They’re playing at the Electric Ballroom tonight…just thought we should support them you know.” He was now on his side propped with his elbow, watching me go through my closet. “Wear a skirt—but not too short. You never fail to look delicious with a skirt on.” I glared at him. “Oh, shut up. Keep your fantasies at bay, you horndog!” he laughed.
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br />   “Gotcha!” I exclaimed as I took the clothes with me to the bathroom.

  “Is that leather pants I see? Baby, that’s hella hot. I can’t wait!” he called out to me. I shut the door laughing. He’s hopeless!

  I slid on my itsy bitsy red lace thong followed by fitted black leather pants. I tried to put on the red corset covered with black lace, but failed miserably. Holding the corset tightly on my chest I barged out the door seeking for Kyle’s assistance.

  “Hey, could you help me out here really quick!” his hazel eyes bulged out from its sockets.

  Great, here we go again. I started to tap my foot patiently waiting for him to get over it.

  “Baby, do you know if you hold that thing closer, it would make your boobs pop-out right?” I rolled my eyes. He got up from the bed and I turned on my back so he can start working on the hook and eye. He did it slowly—quite deliberately.

  “Kyle—when did you decided to start moving like a snail?” I impatiently asked him.

  “Since your back is exposed to me. You’re killing me here baby. You know how much I love your back. Fuck! This shit blows.”

  I smiled, knowing how distracted he’ll be. “Maybe you should get laid you know…Have you been with anyone after Brooke?”

  “Yes… you. That night in Santa Monica was the last time I got laid.” Kyle whispered. No freaking way. That can’t be, I mean Kyle is pretty hot. The bad boy with the buzz-cut hair, now with tattoos and those beautiful hazel eyes which I’m sure melts women—it used to turn me into a puddle of goo—why choose to be celibate?

  Duh, you know why.

  “You’re joking right? That’s crazy long ago. Having sexual problems young man?” Trying to make light of the situation because I’m totally freaked out—for a man to do something like that—is very serious. Guys just don’t give up sex for no reason.

  “Figured that I did so much damage with you and I don’t want to ruin any chances anymore. I want you back. I don’t care much about sex with other women. I just want you and I want the next time to be with you.” Finishing the last hook and eye, he softly caressed my shoulder with the back of his finger.