by Sophie Stern
I know all of them and there’s no way these couples are stopping with one kid. They can’t keep their hands off each other, which I love. I just wonder how many more little cubs the house can hold.
Alex pushes the door to the bedroom open and we place the bags on the floor by the foot of the bed. Alex’s duffel is already there.
“You packed a bag for the weekend? Your house is like, forty feet away.”
“I like to be prepared. Besides, I don’t want to spend any time away from you this weekend.”
“No?”
“Not a second,” he says, and his eyes flash yellow as his arousal grows. Fucking cats. He gets me every time. I want to see more of him, all of him, and I can’t wait. Our clothes are off before I know what’s happening and we’re kissing and tangled in a passionate embrace. Fuck, if I don’t love these moments with Alex. The best thing is that since we’ve been sneaking around for so long, we’re amazing at quickies and we’re good at being quiet. We didn’t want to talk to people about our little fling, so we were discreet.
Hell, we’re still that way.
He pushes me against the wall, then flips me around so I’m facing it. Alex slides into me easily from behind and I groan as he starts fucking me against the wall.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight.”
“You feel good too, cat,” I smirk as I say it. He starts pulling my hair at that, just like I knew he would.
“I’m your cat, baby,” he says. “You can deny it all you want. You can pretend you don’t feel anything but lust for me, but I’m yours, Selena.”
He bites me and as his words register with me, he starts rubbing my clit and I suddenly lose all concept of space and time and relevance. Suddenly, the only thing I know is that I want to come with him inside of me.
Then I do.
He comes at the same time. We climax in unison, groaning quietly as we do. Alex just stands there for a second, leaning against me, and I don’t move, either.
The impact of his words come fluttering back and I wonder if he means what he said or if it was just in the heat of the moment. I’m scared to turn around because there’s a chance he was just feeling passionate. There’s a chance he was just talking.
There’s a chance he might not mean it, and my hopes are soaring because I want with all of my heart to believe he did mean it.
Chapter 8
Alex
“And you need to make sure you give him snacks, okay? Nothing bad, though. Nothing unhealthy. It’s not going to be like you guys are the fun aunt and uncle and I’m the bad mom, okay?” Savannah has one hand on her hip and she’s waving around the room with her other, trying to make sure she gives us all the instructions we need to survive this weekend.
Only all I can do as I half-listen is stare at Selena, who is sitting in the middle of the living room floor with Colby in her lap. Damn, if it’s not the sweetest sight I’ve ever seen.
“Yeah,” I say. “Got it. No snacks.”
“No!” Savannah screeches. “That’s not what I said!”
“Baby,” Carter wraps his arms around her and pulls her back into himself. “It’s going to be fine. They’ve got this.”
“But he just said no snacks!”
“Baby,” Carter repeats. “It’s going to be okay.”
He pets her hair and after a second, Savannah relaxes against Carter and allows him to soothe her.
“Sorry,” Savannah says. “I’m a little nervous about leaving him.”
“We’re going to take good care of him,” I promise. “I’ll send you updates every day and lots of pictures. Even if you don’t have any cell service on the island, you can look at all of the pictures when you come back, okay?”
“That makes me feel a little better,” Savannah admits.
She runs over a few more instructions with us and shows us the list of “To-Do’s” and “Not-To-Do’s” and then there’s a big round of hugging and a few tears shed. By the time Carter and Savannah finally take off to go to Nellenston, I’ve had enough of goodbyes and I’m ready to have some fun.
“Hey Colby,” I say, tousling the little cub’s hair. “Why don’t we go play outside?”
“Yeah!” He jumps up and I haul him onto my back. Colby wraps his arms around my neck.
“Hang tight, buddy. Selena! Come have fun with us!”
She giggles and together, we all go out to the yard. Colby and I toss a ball for awhile, then Selena and I start a game of “tag.” He loves that. He laughs and runs and squeals any time he gets caught, but he gets right back into the game.
I don’t consider myself to be the most experienced when it comes to kids, but I like Colby. He’s funny and cute and he’s the spitting image of his daddy.
I wonder if people will say that about my kids someday.
I shouldn’t be doing this today. I shouldn’t be daydreaming once more about my future, but the truth is that I love kids and I want a bunch. I want a bunch of little ones running around and making my life feel full.
That’s what I think when I see Wyatt, Carter, and Colby with their families. I think they seem full. They seem sated. Their lives were empty and they were lost, at least a little bit, but then they found each other.
Then they got it all together.
Eventually, the sun sets and we head inside to make dinner. It all seems so normal. I try not to focus on that, on how much I want this forever, and just focus on the little details that come with preparing a meal together.
I show Colby how to make an amazing burger and Selena shows him her secret for getting the toppings on burgers just right.
“The secret is to add extra pickles,” she winks at him. “Everyone likes lots of pickles, right?”
“My dad doesn’t,” Colby says seriously.
“Your dad’s a goofball,” I joke, and Colby erupts into laughter. Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t be picking on Carter just to hear the kid laugh, but as Colby’s giggles fill the kitchen, I realize it really is the best sound in the damn world and I’d do anything to make him laugh.
Just like I’ll do anything to make Selena mine.
She might not know how much I love her, but I don’t plan to leave her hanging for long. I’ve got a plan. I’m going to get that girl to marry me and I’m going to love the hell out of her. For better or for worse, we’re going to go through life together. We have to. We were made for each other.
When we’re finished with dinner, Selena cleans up the kitchen and I head upstairs to help Colby into his pajamas.
“I miss Banana and Daddy,” he confides in me when we’re alone.
“I’m sorry bud,” I give him a hug. “They’ll be back soon, you know. It’s only for a couple of days.”
“Why did they even have to go?” He frowns. “Why didn’t they take me with them?”
“Sometimes couples need a little bit of time alone together to work on their relationship,” I tell him. I figure it’s best to be honest with the tyke. If he’s feeling like the world has abandoned him, he doesn’t need to feel like it was for no reason.
“Do you and Selena ever need time alone?”
“Sometimes, yeah.” I don’t tell him all we ever have is alone time, that I’m ready for some “us” time around other couples, that I’m ready for us to start a family.
“I’m glad you came to take care of me.”
“I’m glad, too, buddy. And remember, if you’re missing your mom and dad, we can take some pictures for them and send them some funny videos of us having fun, okay?”
“I know the perfect pose for my pictures,” Colby squats down, holds his hands up, and makes a “scary” bear face. “Rawr!” He growls, and now it’s my turn to erupt with laughter.
“All right, kid.” I laugh. “That sounds all right.”
It sounds just fine.
Chapter 9
Selena
We curl up on the big bed in Carter and Savannah’s room with Colby between us. He opens the book he’s learning to read and sta
rts carefully sounding out each word. I softly play with Colby’s hair as he reads us the story of a little bear shifter who wanders too far into the woods and get lost, but whose mother comes to save him.
It’s a sweet story and I wonder where Savannah managed to find shifter-friendly storybooks. Who knew those existed now? They certainly didn’t when we were kids. We were always reading books with “normal” kids in them. It always made me feel a little more awkward than I should have because I couldn’t really relate to the issues the kids in the stories dealt with.
Normal storybook kids have problems like not wanting to go to school at the end of summer or being sad when their crush doesn’t notice them. Normal kids have problems like dealing with bullies or not having cool clothes. Normal kids have problems like not getting onto the sports team.
Shifter kids look at the world a little differently. We deal with things like our cousin dying because an unknowing hunter wandered too close to shifter territory and went a little trigger happy. We deal with things like accidentally shifting in public when there are humans around. We deal with things like not knowing if a shifter from a different clan or town or pack will accept us as their mate.
We deal with an entirely different set of issues.
It’s not that human kids don’t have real problems. They do. They totally do. It’s just that when your problems are different, it’s nice to have someone who understands, and I think this author totally gets it. I laugh along with Alex as Colby continues to read us the story. By the time he finishes, I’m a little teary. I’m going to have to find this author someday and thank her.
“All right, little cub,” Alex says. He takes the book and sets it on the nightstand. “Ready for bed?”
“Never!” Colby laughs as he pumps his fist into the air.
“Uh oh, then I guess I’m going to have to carry you!” Alex swipes Colby from the bed, swings him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, and hauls him off to his room. Laughing and giggling, I follow them and make sure Colby is tucked in with his special blanket and his favorite stuffed animals, then Alex and I leave the room.
“What do you want to do now?” I ask. “It’s only 8:30.”
“Better text your sis and let her know everything’s going okay,” Alex suggests. “Then we’ll watch a movie.”
I shoot off a quick message to Savannah, then Alex and I climb into bed. The door to Colby’s room is closed and I wonder if I should go check on him.
“Stop worrying,” Alex says. “Everything is going to be fine.”
He starts the film and before I know it, I’m laughing and giggling and forgetting all about the fact that I still haven’t told Alex he’s going to be a dad.
***
The screams wake me in the middle of the night and I don’t know where I am. I jump out of bed, but bump into something sharp and cry out in pain. What the hell? Why is there a table there? Everything about the room feels wrong, strange.
Then I remember I’m not at home: I’m at Savannah’s.
“Selena, calm down,” Alex’s voice comes from beside me in the darkness. “It’s just Colby. He’s having a bad dream.”
Now that I’m a little more awake, I can see the room despite the darkness. I can also tell that I cut myself on a table in Savannah’s room. Damn. I’ll have to take care of it later, though. Right now, Colby needs us.
I follow Alex into Colby’s room and flip on the light. His screams have quieted to cries and we hurry over and sit on the bed with him. Neither one of us grab him. Savannah said that when Colby has a nightmare or a night terror, it’s best not to try to wake him or make him feel too cornered.
His birth mother passed away and ever since, he’s struggled with nightmares. Can I really blame him, though? The same thing happened to me when my mom died. I felt so alone and scared after her death. I felt so lost.
Gently, I rub Colby’s back.
“Hey, buddy,” I whisper. “It’s me: Selena.”
“And I’m here, too,” Alex says. We keep our voices low, but Colby keeps crying. He’s grabbing his blanket as he cries.
“Did you have a bad dream, pumpkin?” I ask.
During a night terror, the person experiencing the terror doesn’t really wake up. They don’t know what’s happening and they don’t have any recollection of the occurrence the next day. Colby’s eyes are starting to flutter open and he’s beginning to calm down, so I think this was just a normal nightmare, though I’m not a doctor, and I’m sure Savannah is better at telling the difference than me.
“Yes,” Colby nods. “Bad dream.” He starts crying all over again and this time, I can’t just sit by and do nothing. I haul him into my lap and wrap my arms around him.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, rubbing his back and patting his hair. “It’s going to be all right.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asks.
“No.” Colby’s voice is muffled against my shirt and I just hold him until he’s finally calm. Once the tears are gone, I take him to the bathroom and get him tucked back into bed. His night light is still on, which is the important thing. Savannah said he can’t fall asleep without it.
This time, we leave the adjoining door to our room open, and Alex and I climb back into bed.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
“That was kind of intense,” I admit. “I’ve been around kids before, but nothing like that. It was scary, Alex.”
“Raising a kid is never easy,” he says.
“Did you have bad dreams when you were little?”
“All the time,” he admits. “Didn’t you?”
“Yeah. Especially after my mom and dad passed away.”
“I’m sorry you went through that, baby. No one should ever have to go through something so horrible.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.”
He wraps his arms around me and starts whispering in my ear, and almost immediately, I begin to calm down. If I had this kind of support all the time, I’d be in heaven. Alex is so sweet to me and at this point, it’s all I can do to keep from just blurting out the news.
We’re going to have a baby. Me and Alex: we’re going to be parents. Together. I should just tell him. It’s on the tip of my tongue. I was going to try to come up with some special way to tell him, to let him know that we did something amazing together. We made a child. We made a little cub and he or she is growing inside of me right now.
We’re going to be parents.
We’re going to do this together.
Part of me is still scared: terrified at the idea that something could go wrong, but isn’t that part of parenting? Figuring it out as you go along? As we lay together in bed, I think of little Colby in the next room. Does Savannah ever stop worrying about him? Does she ever stop feeling scared that something might happen? And how does she deal with it?
I know one thing for sure: I’m going to need to get as much information from my sister before this baby comes because I’m going to need her help. I’m going to need all of their help. I don’t have a mom to ask for advice, but I have the best fucking family in the world and I’m not going to forget them.
“Go to sleep, baby,” Alex kisses my cheek. “I can hear your heart racing.”
“I’m still worried about him,” I admit.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“How do you know?”
“Because no matter what happens, I’m right here, sweetie. No matter what happens, I’m here with you.”
I roll over to hug Alex, to wrap my arms around him. I love you is on the tip of my tongue, but then a wave of “morning” sickness hits me and I practically leap out of bed and rush to the bathroom. I reach the toilet just in time to lose my dinner and I wonder once more just how I’m going to get through this.
Chapter 10
Alex
Colby wakes up early and I get him settled with a bowl of cereal and a cartoon and head back upstairs to wake up Selena. We weren’t about
to mess around last night with him in the next room, but I need to have her in my arms. I need to be with her. Last night was hard on her and when my darling needs some comfort, I want to be the one to give it to her.
She was asleep when I went downstairs with Colby, but when I get back to the room, the bed is empty. A quick glance around reveals the bathroom door is closed, and that’s when I hear her getting sick in there.
Again.
She’s been like this on and off all week. At first, I was worried she was sick or stressed, but suddenly, I wonder if Selena has been puking for a different reason.
She couldn’t be.
It’s not possible.
We’re always careful when we’re together. We’re always careful and smart and even though I would love to have children with her, we haven’t discussed it yet. We haven’t gotten that far in our seriousness yet.
Only now I wonder if it was a mistake not to discuss it. Maybe it’s time to lay it all on the line for my girl. Maybe it’s time to tell her what I really think.
Selena finishes and I hear her brushing her teeth. A few minutes later, she emerges from the bathroom and looks surprised to see me.
“Oh!” She whispers. “I didn’t hear you come in.” She comes over to where I’m sitting on the bed and straddles me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I kiss her softly and grab her body, pulling her closer to myself.
We enjoy a long, leisurely kiss, and then I decide to go for it.
I’m going to lay it on the line.
I’m going to do it.
She might freak out, but that’s a chance I’m going to take because this girl? This girl is the best damn thing in the world and I want to spend my life growing old with her.
“I love you,” I say. I watch her eyes widen in surprise, and shock, and maybe even in excitement.
“What?” She whispers.