The Ingredients of You and Me

by Nina Bocci

  “That’s who you meant when you said it had been a while. Oh my God. I can’t believe you banged Nick.”

  She looked at me… proudly? She had a smile on her face, and her eyes were watery as if she was about to shed a tear over my sex life. It wouldn’t be the first time.

  “Yes, I was referring to Nick.”

  If I kept my answers simple, I wouldn’t get caught up in a lie, or accidentally divulge too much information. After all, I hadn’t told Nick that I was spilling the proverbial beans about us.

  “Wait, wait. Wait,” Charlotte said, and began ticking off her fingers.

  “You’re saying Nick was the last person you slept with, right?”

  I nodded. “And?”

  “The last time you were here was the Fourth of July. That’s more than three months ago like you told me. So, you either…”

  Charlotte’s lips curled in as she fought back a grin. “You bitch! You were here and didn’t tell me! I’m so annoyed and yet so proud that you ventured into Hope Lake for a booty call!”

  I winced. The term rankled me, mainly because it was how Nick thought I saw what we shared together. One long-distance booty call. When it was anything but.

  “I swear, if any of this leaves the table, I’ll kick your ass, Charlotte. Twice because Emma is pregnant and I can’t kick hers.”

  They both crossed their hearts.

  “Fine. We hooked up after the fireworks on the Fourth of July last year. You guys all left us, and we went drinking. Well, one thing led to another, and we had sex in his truck—you can say we made our own fireworks.”

  “Oh.”

  “My.”

  “God.”

  They each said the words with their hands over their mouths.

  “And then at the lake. It was pretty close to where I’m renting, now that I think about it. Oh, and again on the way to Gigi’s house since I was staying with her. She doesn’t know about it but Mancini does. She was looking out the window and I think she might have seen Nick’s butt through the windshield.”

  “You’ve tainted Mancini with your sexual prowess! You should be both ashamed and high-fived for your efforts.”

  “I think we can all agree that she wasn’t tainted by anything that we did. Nick and I exchanged numbers and honestly, I didn’t think he’d call. I didn’t know if I would either, but then two days later, I got a text. It was sweet, and I’m not going to share it, but it made me rethink what I thought about him initially.

  “After a few more days, he appeared at D and V just as I was closing up. He stayed in the apartment until the weekend, and then after that, we would either meet here or he came to the city a few times. That lasted until November.”

  Emma’s hand covered her mouth. “Jillian.”

  I nodded. “Yep. It was a lot of miscommunication by both of us. Eye roll, I know. He met her and that was it for me. I wasn’t in the best mood back then, if you recall, Charlotte. It was right around when The Confectionary was closing in on the D and V deal.”

  Charlotte gasped. “Parker Adams, tell me that you didn’t sell D and V… to be with Nick?”

  I leveled her with a disbelieving look. “No, you know me better than that,” I answered honestly. “I did it for me. He just missed out on hearing that I suddenly had a lot more free time on my hands and that we could see each other more because of it.”

  “So if he had not been a wuss, you two could still be together?” Charlotte’s eyes were practically bugging out of their sockets.

  “I don’t know. I can’t answer that honestly. But I’m glad things happened the way they did. I needed to come here and spend time with you two and the Golden Girls. I needed this for me.”

  “Like an adult,” Emma said without a hint of sarcasm. “What?” she asked as Charlotte looked at her in shock. “I’ve done stupid shit to escape before. People need to put more focus on their mental health and well-being. If selling your business for a bazillion dollars is what gets your mind right, go for it.”

  “Thanks,” I said sincerely. “It helped, and FYI it wasn’t a bazillion. But I won’t lie, it was great to forget about it all. It brought up a lot of self-evaluating questions, like maybe it was me that had too much change going on, and I handled that horribly or something like that.”

  They both nodded this time. “I can’t believe it,” Emma said, smiling at me in a way that said, I’m planning your wedding next.

  “Slow your roll, homeslice. You’re putting the cart before the horse.”

  “Fine, fine,” she relented.

  “Did Nick fill you in on the demise of his relationship with Jillian? On the why of the whole thing?” I asked.

  Both of them nodded again. “He came over and told us,” Emma said.

  “He seems okay, though, right? I mean, you’ve talked to him. He’s totally over her, right?” I asked.

  “Totally. I’m not sure he was ever really that sold on her in the first place. I think it was the idea of her.”

  “Good. That makes me feel a bit more on solid footing with him.”

  “We’re all going out to eat tonight with the guys,” I reminded them. “If either of you spill this, I’ll definitely kick Charlotte’s ass.”

  “Twice,” they said, and promised not to utter a word.

  * * *

  I should have known they couldn’t keep their lips zipped. The moment we got to Casey’s for pizza, both Henry and Cooper gave me wry, knowing smiles.

  “I’m going to kill you,” I whispered to Charlotte, who laughed and ignored my threat by giving me the finger.

  “You know the rule. Significant others do not count in the secrets department.”

  “Who else is coming?” I asked, wondering why they’d seated us at a table that fit ten people.

  “The Golden Girls. They’re looking forward to a night out on the town. They’ve been working hard and deserve it,” said Emma.

  “Gigi was going to come but she was tired, so I’m bringing her dinner home later,” Charlotte explained. “Oh, here they come now,” she said, pointing toward the door.

  In they walked—Mancini, Clara, Pauline, and Viola—and we held our glasses up in celebration.

  “To you, the Golden Girls of Hope Lake. Cheers.”

  “Where’s our drinks?” Mancini asked primly. “Don’t you know it’s bad luck to give a toast when not everyone has a drink in hand?” She winked. The entire table laughed, and Henry waved over a waiter to take their orders.

  When Nick arrived a few minutes later, I felt a shift. The entire table looked at him, and then turned to look at me. Everyone, including the Golden Girls, was smiling knowingly.

  “Do I have something in my teeth?” he asked self-consciously. “Or toilet paper on my shoe?”

  I shook my head. “No, nothing like that at all. Our friends are just looking for a dog-and-pony show, and we’re going to give it to them.” Before I lost the nerve, I turned to look at Nick. I took his head between my hands and planted a kiss on him that made my toes curl.

  The table erupted in cheers, claps, hoots, and hollers. All of it directed at the two of us, and I couldn’t be bothered listening to it.

  Instead, I deepened the kiss, leaning into him.

  “Parker,” he finally whispered as we pulled away.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see them all staring, waiting for us to separate before attacking us with questions that I wasn’t sure I knew how to answer yet.

  “What was that for?” he asked, leaning into my ear to whisper so that no one could hear him. Once again, he placed the lightest brush of his lips against the small birthmark by my ear.

  “I was proving a point.” I smiled, giving him one final kiss, but this time the urge to prove something was gone. This was more me quenching a need than giving them something to wag their tongues about. I hoped that by giving them a spectacle, I would validate that yes, there is or was or will be something between Nick and me, something that I wasn’t embarrassed about or hiding.
It was all laid out in the open for everyone to see.

  “Well, anytime you want to prove that point, let me know. I’ll always be game, Parker.”

  Thanks for the ride home. I know it’s well out of your way,” I said, walking side by side with Nick after dinner. He was parked at the very back of the Casey’s Pub parking lot under a flickering bulb, which reminded me of the last time we were in this very spot.

  And what it led to.

  Would it again?

  Admittedly, I was counting on him to make a move. Throughout the course of the night, sitting next to each other was both wonderful and torturous, because each time his hand migrated over to my leg, I smiled, and everyone saw it.

  Not that it mattered. The cat was out of the bag.

  Once we were ensconced in the truck, we sat silently, waiting for it to warm up. My hands were tucked beneath my legs, enjoying the heated seats against my cold fingertips.

  Nick locked the doors and flipped on the wipers to get rid of the snow from the light flurry that had fallen while we were inside. Turning to me, he smiled. The kind that lit you up from the inside, and I wondered how I ever thought I was going to resist him.

  “We’re not going home yet,” he said with a wry smile. “I was promised cupcakes. I plan on getting some.”

  “Oh yeah?” I said, reaching over to tug on his collar.

  It wasn’t the beer, or the adrenaline, or even the memory of the last time we’d been here together. It was the current running between us that I wanted to capture.

  “Parker, this wasn’t the some I was referring to,” he whispered, looking down at my lips.

  I licked the lower one, pulling it between my teeth. “We could go to the bakery, but you should know I saved two cupcakes at my house.”

  I leaned over the center console, keeping my eyes locked on his.

  “What are you waiting for?” he teased, kissing me soundly.

  The windows were already fogging up as my hands reached into his hair, tugging at the soft curls at his neck.

  We tried to inch closer together, but just as I was about to capture his lips again, a loud tap, tap, tap rang out against the driver’s-side window. It was followed by a flashlight shining inside.

  Nick slid his window down. “Chief Birdy,” he said, his voice a singsong. “What brings you out this late tonight?”

  I ducked my head, burying it into his shoulder and hoping that Birdy wouldn’t know it was me.

  “Ms. Adams, nice to see you’re, uh, enjoying your stay in Hope Lake.”

  Birdy lowered the flashlight and grinned. “You go on somewhere private, now. I don’t think anyone needs another viewing of this one’s behind,” he said, pointing to Nick.

  I could hear his laughter the whole trip back to his patrol car.

  Nick shouted out the window, “Sorry, Birdy!”

  “Do I want to know?” I asked, placing my hand against my forehead.

  “Probably not.”

  * * *

  The ride to my house was quick. I kept my hands to myself the entire time, though they were twisting in my lap anxiously. But the second Nick pulled onto the gravel lane of my lake house driveway, a spot where I knew we were safe from other cars, prying eyes, and patrolling police cars, I vaulted myself onto his lap.

  “Whoa, whoa,” he said, laughing as he pushed the truck into park.

  My lips found his, slanting over them. Every single time I kissed him, I felt wild.

  Nick pushed his lips against mine more firmly, his hands running over my shoulders and into my hair before using the belt loops on my jeans to tug me closer to him.

  My hand reached down between the driver’s seat and the door, trying to find the release that would send him back into a reclined position. “Wait, wait, we can get into the house,” he urged, but I found the lever and pulled it, sending him backward as a response.

  “Consider the great outdoors foreplay,” I said, grinding myself against him.

  Nick’s eyes rolled back, his mouth fell open, and he didn’t complain or stop me when I yanked open his flannel shirt, sending buttons pinging off the windows of his truck. “Oops,” I said, lowering my lips to his chest. “Cold?”

  He shook his head, laughing slightly when I got to his rib cage with my lips. “Parker,” he said weakly, sucking in his lower lip when I ground down on him again.

  “Foreplay, remember?” I took both of Nick’s hands and moved them behind the seat’s headrest. “Stay,” I instructed, pointing to him with my index finger.

  Nick nodded, his eyes dark and stormy as he watched me remove my coat first, tossing it aside onto my seat. Then came my sweater, which left me in only a thin white shirt and my bra.

  Nick’s hands were fisted together behind the headrest, and judging by the strain on his face, I knew that he was itching to touch me.

  “I don’t know what it is about your truck,” I whispered, pulling my shirt over my head. Nick’s eyes didn’t leave mine, which was unexpected, considering what I was doing.

  Shifting my hips, I let myself relax into him. Feeling him beneath me, seeing the want in his eyes. “Parker,” he choked, moving his hands quickly to my hips. “You’ve got to stop moving.”

  His teeth were gritted, his eyes were unfocused, and his breathing was labored. “Why?” I asked innocently, slowly rolling my hips over him again.

  “Parker.” His voice was barely audible, and I knew if I kept it up, we would both let go in the truck like two horny teenagers.

  “It’s okay, just feel.” I shifted once more. Nick’s hands were digging into my hips, guiding me to a pace that was going to send him over.

  My hands were on my breasts, his eyes now glued to them as he panted through his orgasm.

  My own rumbled through me when his hands reached up, settling over mine. I slumped back, accidentally beeping the horn when my back hit the wheel.

  “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he said, rubbing his hands over his eyes. “I haven’t done this in… forever.”

  “Well, I can tell you I’d never done this before I met you,” I said honestly. When he looked at me disbelievingly, I explained. “I grew up in the city. No one I dated had a car. We only had the subway, and last I checked, humping on the train was frowned upon.”

  He laughed and sat up awkwardly. “Seems I have a bit of a mess on my hands.”

  “Come on, we’re about to have a bigger mess. I’ve got a sturdy island and a cupcake with your name on it.”

  “What about extra frosting?”

  “I like how you think, Nick.”

  It was the beginning of April, and while the snow was still threatening to pile up again, there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel.

  “The lake is defrosting. For now, at least,” I explained, wondering if we would fish in the spring or swim in the lake again like we had last summer.

  Nick and I were officially unofficial. We were as inseparable as we could be, considering how busy we were, but when we were together, we were together.

  Neither one of us was interested in putting a label on it. Part of me thought that was potentially a problem, considering we weren’t great at being undefined, but this was different. We weren’t hiding anymore, and the constant togetherness filled me with hope of what Nick and I would be in the future.

  “I’m thinking that maybe we spend a couple weeks in the city soon,” said Nick. “You can show me around your neck of the woods and maybe, I don’t know, we’ll see what happens there.”

  I looked up, confused. “Where is this coming from?”

  He looked worried. “Bad idea?”

  I shook my head. “No, no, I’m just… This is the first I’ve heard of this.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.”

  “Nick, what are you saying?”

  He smiled. “I’m saying that although I was hoping that you would want to stay here, I’m willing to come with you to New York too.”

  My hope
ballooned up. It wasn’t something that I ever thought he would consider, and it wasn’t something I ever thought I would want. His whole life was spent here. He loved this town and to think that he’d leave it for me—well, I didn’t have many words for that.

  I sat him down before I sat down myself, facing him on a stool in the bakery. It was quiet, still too early to open, but there were people in the hall going to Charlotte’s or going to work at The Vault.

  “Nick, I love that you want to spend time there. I’d love that. But I love how you are here too. And honestly, I really love it here.”

  Four loves in one statement. If he didn’t get the hint, I’d have to spell it out in cupcakes. In fact, maybe I would.

  “I think that our place is here for now,” I continued. “Or maybe we’ll be snowbirds like the old folks do. We’ll spend the fall and winter in New York, wishing it was warm like Florida, and then the rest of the year here.”

  “You’d do that?” he asked hopefully.

  “Sure, why not? I mean, Viola isn’t busy in the winter, and neither are you. We both would be here for the summer months since that’s when your business is busy. And hopefully the bakery. I can still find someone else to help with the bakery schedule and whatever while I’m in New York, and if something happens, we can be here in two hours.”

  “Why does this all seem so simple and yet so perfect?” he asked, pulling me in for a kiss.

  “I think because it is. I’d need to see if I can find somewhere permanent to live here.”

  “I’ve been thinking about selling the house. Henry and Charlotte want something of their own.”

  “Maybe then you and I look for something too. I hear that my lake house may be up for sale. I’d love to get my hands on that. When we’re in the city, we’ll probably need a bigger apartment since I lived in a shoe box with Charlotte.”

  “Are we really doing this?” he asked, standing and pulling me into a hug.

  “Well, I think we are. What do you think? Are we crazy?”

  “If we are, there’s no one I’d rather be crazy with than you.”